Wow I haven't updated this in a really long time, sorry for that. First it was my trip to Arizona that slowed me down, then while I was still out there my hard drive crashed on my brand new computer, so I couldn't write AT ALLLLLL, which pissed me off to a great extent. Now I'm kinda stuck in this story, so I can't figure out which way to go, and xXxPOMROXMAHSOXGIRLxXx has evidently turned her PM system off on accident, so I can't talk to her and work it out... Meh. Fail.
EVERY SINGLE SOLITARY PONCHO MAN REMARK HAS BEEN LENT TO ME BY LITTLEBIRDY05, EXPRESS PERMISSION TO USE IT IN THIS STORY WAS GIVEN TO ME BY HER. KTHNXBYE.
The gas station was closer than we had origonally thought, so we got there in no time. I grabbed some snacks for 'breakfast', which, for me, consisted of a bag of chips, a cinnamon roll, and a Red Bull... Healthy, huh? I then decided that I had to pee RIGHT NOW, doing the pee-pee dance for a second before darting to the bathroom. I finished up and we paid for our 'meals', leaving the dumbfounded cashier with a volumptious tip and a grin. We decided our next place to go was to Walmart, much to my displeasure. I had a bif with both Walmart and Target, since I had been thrown out and landed on my ass so many times. I tried suing them, but they said I couldn't since it had 'been done of my own accord', whatever they meant by that.
Rico had grabbed what looked to be a whole shelf full of Monsters, which quite honestly scared me a little bit. He was hyper enough without the aid of large amounts of caffine. The rest of us had either water, soda, or coffee and some kind of snack, just to hold us off until we got to another store to buy something more satisfying.
Just before we got to the Walmart parking garage (cuz they can't really put a large parking lot in the middle of NYC, ya know), Rico spoke up.
"What do I do with the empty cans?"
"What the fu- Empty cans?" I looked back at him, my eyes widening. "Oh fuck, don't tell me you drank all of those...?" He was just standing there with a bag full of empty Monster cans, looking around at us.
"What, I wasn't supposed to drink all of them?" I facepalmed, and when I looked back up, there was an empty spot where he had been standing, and a suspiciously Rico-shaped blur heading for the store.
"RICO!" There was the general chorus of everyone speaking at once, then looking at eachother like 'STFU', and we all took off after him, trying to keep up. Skipper was at the front, unsurprisingly, with Keila and I in the back, trying to look like any normal teenage girls running as fast as they can.
He was damn fast. Like seriously, he was outrunning all of us, even the guys. At least he went into the store, instead of running out onto the streets where we'd never find him.
"*Pant pant pant* Ok, I think this is a lost cause. He's too damn fast, and we'd look like idiots running through there chasing after him. Kowalski, options," Skipper barked.
"Well, we could try to track him down and sedate him, but that would include the dart gun, which is still with Rico, so that's out. Or we could just go shopping and wait for him to calm down and find us." Keila raised her hand and jumped around like an overexcited student.
"Ooh, ooh, pick me, pick me!" Kowalski and Skipper nodded at her. "Why don't I go with you guys to start looking around, and if it's alright with her, Liz can go looking for Rico, maybe trail him so he doesn't get into too much trouble." Both guys looked at eachother for a second and shrugged.
"Couldn't hurt, just make sure he doesn't do anything to you, he can be a bit... touchy when he's this hyped up." I nodded, and handed off half of the remaining money to Keila, since I trusted her the most.
"'Kayso, I'll meet up with you guys whenever I can get him to sugar crash enough to come with me. If I'm not back in an hour and a half, start looking for me instead, I may or may not be dangling from a rafter by my feet." They saluted me (weird, since I had just met them... maybe it's an army thing, or maybe they're just poking fun..?) and walked off.
I ran in the direction that I had seen him heading in, and with my inhanced hearing, almost immediately picked up on heavy, fast footsteps leading away from me, towards the automotive section. Leave it to a guy to find that place even when he has no idea where he's going...
I found him playing with the radios, turning them up to obnoxious levels and blasting random radio stations all at once, getting glares from passerby. I sent them an apologetic glance and turned all the radios off, standing in front of Rico and glaring up at him. He loomed over me with a goofy grin, looking expectant.
"Just what do you think you're doing?" I sounded like an angry mom.
"...This." He jumped directly onto the top of the shelves, leaping upwards until he got into the rafters. I honestly don't know how they held him, those things are only supposed to hold like 300 pounds max, not including the weight of the friggen' ROOF they're holding up, but they did. I waited until he was too busy trying to run away up there, then jumped up and landed lightly, right behind him.
"Oh really?" He twisted around quickly. I crossed my arms and tapped my foot, enjoying the bewildered look on his face. "I thought not. Come on, those guys are waiting." We jumped down into the abandoned crafts section, and he started whining as soon as his feet hit the ground. Except that it wasn't just whining, it was hyper whining, super fast and extra irritating.
"I'm hungry! My feet itch. OOH what's that? I wanna buy something!" In the end, we took a not-so-quiet little detour to the hardware section. "Why are we going to the tape? Ooh, I want the camo duct tape!" I brought it up to the little counter thingy. The cashier sniggered behind her hand as his antic continued in the background.
"Is this what I think it's for?" She made a motion across her mouth, seemingly casual. I nodded, smirking evilly. She snickered again, looking at him once more before full out cackling. I turned on my heel to find him directly behind me with a lampshade on his head, leaning over me slightly so he could see me from underneath his unconventional headwear. I just shook my head despairingly and flipped my hand up, knocking it from his head, then turned back to the cashier, who appeared to be having issues not outright laughing.
"God forsaken Monsters," I mumbled under my breath, just loud enough for the both of them to hear. She pulled herself together enough to ring it up and put the money in the cash register, watching as I ripped off the plastic and pulled a strip of it off of the roll. Rico started to back away slowly, but I pounced on him, knocking him backwards, and slapped the strip across his mouth. I realized how kinky of a position we were in, me straddling his waist while duct taping his mouth was dirtier sounding - and looking - than I'd origonally thought. I put a few more pieces on either side, making sure he wouldn't be getting it off anytime soon, then got off of him and helped him up. I hooked my arm around his and walked off towards the clothing section, grinning when I heard Ms. Cashier finally lose it and start laughing uncontrollably.
He tried to run off, obviously, but I managed to entice him into going into the clothes instead. Everyone else turned when they heard our approach, most of them going into fits of giggles when they saw what I had done. I heard Rico mumble a little bit from under his tape mask, then watched as he tried and failed to remove it. Keila was doubled over laughing so hard, Skipper was practically rolling on the ground, Private was laughing goodnaturedly, and Kowalski was nearly roaring when Rico tried to hack up scissors, then watching as they came up slowly, and him use his tongue to cut some of it off. In the end he had a piece of it still stuck to the side of his face, but the rest was off. His eyes were still glazed over and I knew we'd be using more of the roll later on. He entertained himself by finding a clearance bin full of horrible, colorful Mexican ponchos. He put one on and stood on the edges of the bin. He jumped headlong into a bin of jeans, kicking his legs in the air in a hopeless attempt to free himself from the layers of denim.
"Rico, what are you doing?" Skipper yelled.
"I am not Rico, I am Poncho Man, wearer of Mexican stuff, defender of useless clothing items! I- I..." Rico yelled, his voice mufffled, kicking some more. Skipper crossed his arms, and Rico stopped kicking. "Um... Skipper." Skipper reaised an eyebrow at Rico's quied, muffled voice. "Poncho man is stuck..."
o0o
"Hey, Rico. I think this would look good on- Rico?" I turned in a full circle, looking everywhere.
"Start searching." Skipper said.
"Mwuahaha, my secret lair is a success." I heard ominously from a circular rack of clothes. Keila held up a finger to her lips, then tiptoed over to the "lair". She crouched, waiting, then leaped straight in, rolling out the other side with Rico's mohawk grasped tightly in her hand. I thought I saw Kowalski's eyes flash jelously, but I could be wrong. "Gah, my plans have been foiled!" Rico screeched dramatically. He immediately jumped up and leaped into a woman's cart. "Mush! Mush I say!" I slapped the back of his head.
"Rico!" Then I happened to get a good look at the woman who was staring back at me, dumbfounded. Brown eyes, blonde hair, a blue metallic lip ring... "Rachel?"
"... Liz?"
DUN DUN DUN! Who's this Rachel chick? How does she know Liz? When will Rico CALM THE FUCK DOWN? Why am I asking you all these questions when you don't even know yet? THE WORLD MAY NEVER KNOW.