On The Outskirts: Chapter Two
"Happy. Just in my swim shorts, barefooted, wild-haired, in the red fire dark, singing, swigging wine, spitting, jumping, running—that's the way to live. All alone and free in the soft sands of the beach by the sigh of the sea out there…" -Jack Kerouac, The Dharma Bums
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I woke up to an empty bed, tangled in the thin cotton sheet and sweating my ass off. There was no longer a breeze coming in off the water and the slow rotations of the ceiling fan did nothing to help move the oppressive air inside the bedroom. It was honestly pretty refreshing. I had missed the heat, in more ways than one, and as I stretched and groaned at the soreness that had settled across my body, I wondered where Edward had gone. Judging by the way the sun was coming in through the window, it was close to noon and the fact that he was no longer in bed didn't surprise me.
I finally rolled out of bed, pulled on a pair of swim trunks and shuffled out to the living room. The house was empty and the surfboard was gone, so I figured Edward had already gone to the beach. My stomach growled and I was reminded that I hadn't eaten since before I left Chapel Hill the day before. I sliced a cantaloupe in half and stood in the kitchen scooping out the inside, savoring the warm, sweet, slightly salty fruit that I could tell was grown on the island. When I was finished, I tossed the rind out into the yard and thumped down the back stairs and towards the dunes in search of Edward.
Standing on top of the sand, I could see up and down the beach for miles, but it didn't take long for me to spot him. He was in the water directly in front of me, sitting on the board with his back to me, staring towards the east and waiting for waves. The sea was glassy and calm and gulls swooped in and out of the water all around him. A school of porpoise swam by not ten feet from him; he was like a part of the landscape.
He turned, and seeing me, started to paddle back to shore.
"Hey," he said, shaking his head like a wet dog. I laughed at the position his hair ended up in as I stood and put my hands on this sides of his face. I kissed him lightly on his salty lips, the water from his hair dripping onto me. He groaned and deepened the kiss, pushing his tongue into my mouth and then pulling away and biting the shit out of my bottom lip.
"Dammit, Edward. That hurt," I whined, drawing my lip into my mouth and tasting blood. He reached up and with his thumb pulled my lip out from in between my teeth and then kissed me softly again. Despite the fact that he was making me hard, I glared at him.
"Making me bleed is not sexy, E."
"Au contraire, love. It is sexy because it makes you squirm. And I like it when you squirm," he said with a wink as he turned and headed back up the dune.
"I wanna go get that pony from Darlene this afternoon," he added over his shoulder.
"You're going to have an entire herd of Banker ponies in the yard. The Meads are gonna have a fit when they get down here for the summer," I said, thinking of the neighbors.
"I don't rightly give a flying fuck about the Meads. Besides, you can help me put up a fence," he grinned at me.
"I am not helping you build a damn fence. And you know those ponies won't stay in a fence. They'll tear it right down." By that point we had made it up the dune and he was standing under the shower head that came out of the wall on the side of the house, rinsing the salt off his tanned and freckled body. I inadvertently licked my lips and he caught me and smirked.
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We were sitting in the shade on the porch, attempting to play chess but mostly just making out when I glanced up and saw someone trotting down the road on a chestnut horse, leading a paint behind him.
"Somebody's coming this way with your pony," I said as a removed myself from his lap and put his king in check, all in one swift movement.
"Dammit. I hate this game," he muttered before looking down the road to see who it was bringing Riptide home. He stood up as they approached the house and leaned over the railing, smiling at the boy on the chestnut.
"Hey Riley. Where'd you find him?"
"In Mrs. Burriss's cabbage patch. He's gonna have a belly ache and she might rightly kill you," the kid said, tossing the lead rope to Edward.
"Thanks for bringing him home. Is that chestnut the one Darlene was trying to get rid of?" he asked, nodding towards Riley's mount.
"Yeah. She saw me riding the paint down here and told me to bring this one too. What the hell are you gonna do with all these damn ponies, Edward?"
"I like looking out into my yard and seeing nice horseflesh, Riley. A man needs a good horse or two at all times," he replied, lighting up a cigarette and glancing towards me with a grin.
I just shook my head at him and then looked back towards Riley, whose connection to Edward I was starting to wonder about. He wasn't really a boy; he looked to be about twenty, maybe twenty one. And he and Edward obviously had a friendly relationship. Of course, Edward had a friendly relationship with most everyone on the island. They indulged his eccentricities because he was one of their own, but I got the feeling that Edward and Riley had more of a history than just friendly neighbors. Jealousy bubbled up into the pit of my stomach and I knew Edward sensed it because he immediately introduced us.
"Riley, this is my old friend Carlisle. He'll be staying here for the summer."
Riley sized me up before muttering a nice to meet you. That in itself was a testament to the fact that his mama had raised him with some manners, because I could tell by the look on his face that it was anything but nice for me to be standing there shoulder to shoulder with Edward. I smiled and returned the pleasantry as Riley slid off of the chestnut gelding and tossed his lead rope to Edward too.
"Right, then. I gotta run up to the pier and help Sam unload a bushel of crabs and get 'em packed up to take to the mainland. See ya'll later," Riley said, turning back towards the road.
"Stop on your way back home if you want a drink later," Edward called after him. Riley just raised his hand in acknowledgement, not bothering to turn around.
"Well that was pleasant," I said to Edward, taking the red horse's lead out of his hand and hopping over the porch railing.
"You gonna be pissy now? He's a good kid and you know damn well there aren't a whole lotta guys like us on this godforsaken island," he spat at me from the porch. "He's not you. It's nothing like us," he said softly, his tone changing completely.
I sighed and stopped pretending to look over the new horse's legs.
"I know, Edward. I guess I have no right to be upset. It just caught me off guard, is all. I don't know why I never expected there to be someone else."
He swung over the railing so we were face to face. "There isn't anyone else. I like Riley, a lot, but it was just sex. We'd come back here after being out at the Casino or the Inn and it just happened. I was lonely and he's good company."
He was so sincere that I was having a hard time staying mad at him. If anything, I felt like a jackass for leaving him alone for so long. But I couldn't get the words out and I still felt like punching someone in the face, so I turned my attention back to the new horse.
"So I guess we need to go buy lumber, huh?" I asked, changing the subject before it had a chance to turn volatile again.
"Yeah. We can tether 'em in the yard for the rest of the day, but I guess we'll have to drive across the Sound tomorrow. I'll borrow Sam's truck and we can go in the morning. But for now, since we have reliable transportation besides that damn car of yours, let's ride these ponies up to Sambo's and get a drink."
He tied the horses up to the porch while we went inside and put shirts on, not bothering with buttoning them up and definitely not bothering with shoes. Edward found an old bridle for the chestnut in a closet and grabbed Riptide's off a hook by the door. We swung ourselves onto the ponies and pointed them south towards Oregon Inlet.
"See? Now aren't you glad I procured you a horse? You ought to name him," Edward said.
"You're better with naming things than I am. And yes, I am glad. It's been a long time since I whipped your ass in a race," I said, laughing and thumping the gelding in the sides. He shook his head and we took off down the dirt path. I heard hooves and laughing behind me as Edward and Ripper caught up to us. My horse saw them too, flattened his ears against his head and dug in, surging forward. I wrapped my free hand into his mane; it had been a long time since I'd run ponies bareback. Leaning forward, I whispered "go!" into his ear. He found more speed and we inched away from Edward and his flashy paint horse. I looked under my arm and saw that he had started to pull up, so I sat up and reined the chestnut in too. We slowed to a trot and Edward caught up with us again, still laughing.
"Damn, Carlisle! That is one fast fucking pony. And he hardly broke a sweat. Whistle."
"Whistle? That's his name?" I asked, entirely out of breath.
"Yep. I need a drink," he said and clucked to Ripper, trotting ahead of us.
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We had reached the point in our drinking where I knew I needed to drag Edward out of the bar before he got handsy and we ended up with a burned down house or a cross in the front yard. The other bar patrons were tolerant as long as they could turn a blind eye to two grown men sitting shoulder to shoulder and whispering into each other's ears, but I was pretty sure that Edward sticking his tongue down my throat because he'd had too much to drink would cause us a problem or two.
"Hey E," I said, nudging his shoulder. "Let's get outta here, okay?"
He looked up and surveyed the room before ginning wickedly. "Locals gettin' 'spicious?" he slurred lightly. "Fuck 'em. Let's go."
He slid off the bar stool and tossed a couple of dollars onto the bar before stretching his arms above his head and cracking his back. His ab muscles rippled and his shorts rode down on his hips making me want to drop onto my knees and lick him right there in front of everyone. He was doing it on purpose. He winked and walked backwards out the door, not missing a beat as he hopped down the stairs still facing me. I just shook my head at him and followed, trying not to make a scene with the raging boner I was currently sporting. I was also thanking the horse gods that I was in possession of a fast pony just in case said boner was noticed by anyone other than Edward and I had to make a run for it. Down at the Inlet, right at the southern-most ass end of the island, life was a little rougher and the fishermen not as indulgent of Edward and his weirdness. On a good day they ignored him and that was mostly because Sam, the owner of the bar and fishing pier, liked Edward a lot and was some degree of cousin somewhere down the line.
"This, Carlisle, is the time of evening when you take your time trottin' back on home. The air is cooler and the goddamn black flies ain't bitin' anymore and you can just enjoy the ride," he drawled. I loved how he turned into a true Carolinian after a few drinks. He sounded like as much a part of the sandy soil as the salt grass growing on the dunes we were riding over.
"I know, Edward. I've missed this. I know you don't believe me, but I really, truly have," I told him.
"See, that's where you're readin' me wrong. I know you've missed this. You can't help it. It's in your blood. You'll keep comin' back to this place just like those damn snow geese do every year. Just as sure as the tides and the moon, you'll be back. I know that. But sometimes I just can't help but pray real hard to whatever fishtailed god is lookin' over this spit of land that this time, this time, you'll stay."
I didn't even know how to respond to something so sincere. It tore me up and all I could do was watch him wipe the back of his hand across his eyes as his face hardened and he urged Riptide to trot forward a little faster. I reined Whistle in and let Edward trot on ahead, needing some time to myself.
Ripper was tied up to the porch when Whistle and I finally made our way back. He had his nose stuck deep inside a bucket and was chewing happily, his ears twitching back and forth in time to the music that was floating out of the open windows of the house.
I collapsed onto the sofa next to Edward and he passed me the bottle.
"I love you, Edward. Despite all the bullshit, I love you. When there's nothing else left, there will always be that," I told him as the amber liquid burned its way down my throat and into my stomach.
"Is that enough? It hasn't been enough for me. It doesn't make it any better when I'm sittin' here by myself at night, wishin' there was someone for me to scooch up next to when I get into bed. It isn't enough when I'm feelin' all alone after some dumb hick calls me a faggot and throws a fish head at me. It isn't enough when I can't get my brain to shut off for one motherfuckin' minute and all I need is you here to quiet me down." He stared straight ahead at the beadboard on the wall, blinking back tears and getting angrier and angrier.
I knew I was a dumbshit and was about to say something I'd regret and that would cause him to haul off and bloody my face, so I didn't respond. I just stood up and walked out. I hated myself for not being what he needed and I hated myself for walking out on him again, but I really hated that we were right back where we started, running around in circles and just getting pissed at each other. I wasn't enough for him, but he refused to leave the safety of his little shack, the comfort of the cats and the horses and the tons of crap he had stacked up in every corner of every room. He refused to meet me halfway. I couldn't be solely responsible for keeping him happy; it was an impossible task. I could see myself getting stuck right there with him, and the scariest part was that the thought of getting stuck didn't really scare me all that much.
My brain was turning into a real fucked up place, and I blamed him for that. I hadn't even been home 24 hours and my thoughts were already as muddy and convoluted as his were. I made it as far as the front porch before I collapsed in frustration and buried my head in my arms. Whistle nickered softly and stuck his nose in between the crook of my elbow and my head, blowing his sweet, horsey breath into my face.
The screen door creaked open behind me and I felt the wood sag next to me as he sat down. He slowly inched his arm around my waist and rested his head on my shoulder.
"What if, even when I'm here to help you with all the bad stuff, it's still not enough? What then?" I asked.
"It probably won't be. But isn't that ok too?"
"I don't know. I just want you to be happy."
"It's not your responsibility to make me happy. I mean, for fuck's sake, I wouldn't wish that task on my worst enemy." I turned my head slightly to look at him and saw the faintest flicker of a grin on his face. I lifted my head out of my arms and sat up straighter as he tightened his grip on my waist.
"I love you too, Carlisle. At the root of all things, I love you."
The urge to crawl inside of him right then overwhelmed me as I straddled him and wrapped my arms around his neck. I whispered incoherent things about love and forever and we'll make this work as his hands roamed my torso and he lightly kissed me all over.
"Fuck, baby," I groaned into his ear as I rocked back and forth. He had somehow managed to get his hand in my pants and was lazily stroking my dick while he continued to bite and lick and kiss across my neck and up my jaw. This was the kind of mood swing that always drew me back to him. Edward was nothing if not raw and sincere in everything he believed in, be it love, hate, or that weird gray line in between the two. He was one mercurial bastard but the upswings were such a high that they made the rough times totally worth it.
I thrust up into his hand and squirmed a little bit, needing more, rougher contact. I whined in his ear and tried to pull away so that I could lead him into the house, but he grabbed me by the hips and slammed me back down into his lap.
"Sit," he ordered as he snaked his hands back into my pants and cupped my ass, squeezing hard enough to probably leave bruises.
"Please, Edward," I begged. "I need you so bad and we're not doing this on the front porch."
He pulled away, huffed, and then in one swift movement stood up, bringing me with him. I wrapped my legs around his waist as he backed towards the screen door, toeing it open and then slamming the big door shut behind us. He dumped me on the couch so that he could kick out of his shorts, and I took the opportunity to do the same. He stood there and stared at me for a second, looking feral and kind of scary, like he was planning his attack. I leaned back against the sofa, palming my dick and smiling at him, which made him growl deep in his chest.
I decided then that I quite fancied being chased, so I scrambled up and over the back of the couch. Edward's eyes narrowed as he took a step towards me, a slightly sadistic grin on his face. I backed into the bedroom and around to the far side of the bed as he stalked in after me. Wordlessly, he climbed onto the bed and crawled towards me, sitting back on his knees when he got to the edge and reaching out for my wrist. I let him pull me towards the bed, hesitating for a second just to mess with him. He yanked me towards him and when I was close enough, leaned forward and swallowed my dick. I felt myself hit the back of his throat and a shudder ripped through my entire body. He still had one hand wrapped around my wrist while he twisted the other hand around the base of my cock. He grazed me with his teeth as he pulled up slowly, swirling his tongue around the tip of my dick as he pumped up and down with his free hand.
"Fuck, Edward," I groaned. He hummed around me in response, sending another shaky wave of pleasure up my spine. I thrust into his mouth and he took all of me, releasing both my wrist and my dick as he sharply grabbed a hold of my hips. He moved with me as I fucked his mouth and I was about to tell him to stop because I was going to come when he pulled off of me and licked all the way up my abdomen. We were face to face then, and he reached up and grabbed a fistful of my hair, pulling me towards him and kissing me fiercely. I leaned into him and he fell backwards, pulling me onto the bed with him.
Taking advantage of my position, I slid down his body and wrapped my lips around his dick, eliciting a groan and a hip thrust from him. I knew he wouldn't let me lean over him for long so I wasn't surprised when he sat up and pulled me back up to face him.
"I need you," he whisper-pleaded.
"You have me, Edward. Take me, please."
His mouth crashed into mine as he spun us around and laid me down underneath him. Without breaking the kiss, he reached down and began circling my hole with two lubed fingers; I couldn't help but arch up off the bed as he slipped one, and then another inside of me.
"I'm ready, I'm ready," I began to chant, my need for him becoming painful.
"No you're not. I rushed and hurt you last night. Let me take care of you," he said breathlessly into the crook of my neck.
I started to argue with him but he bit down on my collarbone as he slipped a third finger in and any hope of coherency I had went flying out the window and into the Atlantic. I groaned and rode his fingers, letting go of the tension, the worry, the what-ifs, and just let him take care of me like he asked. His fingers finally slid out of me and were replaced almost instantaneously by his cock, causing me to cry out in sheer fucking relief.
"Are you ok?" he asked, pausing.
"Yes, yes. So ok," I gasped.
He filled me then, and I was complete. Slowly, reverently he thrust in and out, leaning forward every once in a while to take my bottom lip in his teeth, kiss my neck, lean his forehead against mine. It was slow and unhurried. It wasn't lust, or desperation, or frustration. It was just Edward and I, loving each other on the most basic and true level. He finally reached down between us and took my dick in his hand. The contact was all I needed to hurtle me towards the edge of release and I dug my nails into the back of his shoulders trying to stave it off for a little while longer.
"Stop that and come," he said, smiling and thrusting into me slightly harder. My orgasm overtook me then, ripping through my body like a tidal wave. He tensed and I felt him release inside me, muttering my name as he shook and shuddered from head to toe. When we were both finished, he collapsed on top of me before rolling over and curling up around me. I was a sweaty, sticky, slightly sandy mess and had never been more comfortable.
We laid together in a contented silence as the last rays of sun dipped into the Pamilco Sound and twilight was ushered onto the island. Eventually, Edward stretched out with his arms above his head, groaning and cracking his back.
"You look like one of your damn cats when you do that," I laughed. "I'm starving. Should we go up to the Inn for something to eat?"
"Nope. I have steaks in the ice box and some red potatoes that somebody left on the porch this morning. I'll go light the grill," he said, sitting up and pulling on his shorts. I ran my hand down his back and I swear I heard him purr before he stood up and headed for the back door. I grabbed a towel off the chair and headed to the outside shower so that I could clean up a little before getting the steaks ready for him.
After I was clean, I took the food out for him to cook and we sat talking to each other, the cats, and the horses while the steaks sizzled on the grill. When they were finished, we sat on the back steps and ate off of one plate, illuminated by the porch light and surrounded by begging cats. Edward made sure each and every one of them got a piece of steak fat before we moved around to the front porch with a bottle and a joint.
There was so much for us to talk about, so many questions and grievances that needed to be discussed, but we were back under that dusky spell that settled over us most nights. The alcohol and weed made both of us hazy and even more wrapped up in each other, and I sure as hell wasn't going to be the one to break that spell tonight. So instead we sat and talked about the island and who was seeing who and who had done lost their mind and who was spending too much time drinking at the Casino and not enough time at home taking care of their babies.
Edward talked about Riley and how he really just felt bad for the kid since his daddy was a drunk and liked to slap him around. He said Riley was the first generation of that family born on the island and that in itself was a hardship. It wasn't easy being an outcast and Riley sure seemed to have a lot of things stacked against him in that regard. I suggested that perhaps Edward shouldn't treat people exactly the way he treated the stray cats he took in and that made him quiet for a bit. After thinking on it for a while, he told me that he reckoned Riley really needed a friend and a safe place to go and he really didn't think it was a bad thing to be thought of in the same vein as the big orange cat that was purring in his lap.
I started to argue back that I imagined Riley probably wouldn't appreciate being compared to one of Edward's cats when movement at the end of the driveway caught my attention.
"Well, speak of the devil," Edward laughed loudly as Riley came striding towards the house with a look of determination and anger on his face. I had a feeling then that the evening's quiet spell was about to be broken.
A/N
As always, thank you, thank you, thank you to suzspetals for pre-reading, editing, and suggesting that the word "swoony" was probably not in Carlisle's vocabulary. And more big spanks to TheRainGirl4 for her super beta talents and mad cheerleading skillz. Sorry for any formatting issues. FFn is being a pain in the ass. Imagine that, huh?
I realized I never put a disclaimer at the beginning of this, but (like sadt said recently) this story really has nothing to do with Twilight. No infringement intended. The names belong to Stephenie Meyer, but everything else is mine.
Last thing...hello everyone who put this story on alert! I am truly humbled. Now won't you do me a solid and leave a little review? It really would make my day. Or at the very least come say hello on Twitter. I'm donnersun.
Until next time. xx