"On soft Spring nights I'll stand in the yard under the stars ‐ Something good will come out of all things yet ‐ And it will be golden and eternal just like that ‐ There's no need to say another word." ‐Jack Kerouac, Big Sur
OtO
"Riley, you look mad enough to spit, son," Edward laughed as he leaned over the porch rail.
"Shut the fuck up, Edward," Riley said. "You spend a year telling me about how he leaves you high and dry, all alone and pathetic and sad and then he shows up and everything's fine? You're gonna stand there and laugh like nothin' is wrong with this situation? You're fuckin' insane."
"Hey man, come on. Don't walk up here and start yelling at him," I said. Edward was laughing as he took a drag from the joint and leaned even further over the porch rail.
"Yeah, Riley. Calm yourself down and come sit up here with us," he said, handing the joint to him. Riley glared for a second but then took it and thumped up the steps, collapsing onto one of the benches built into the porch.
"This still ain't right, Edward," he muttered as he took a long drag and then watched the smoke drift up to the ceiling. "Ya'll know people are talkin' about you. Yesterday Sam was asking all kinds of questions. Wantin' to know what in the world you two were up to over here. Better watch yourselves goin' up there and gettin' sloppy drunk in the middle of the afternoon."
"Sam's full of shit," Edward said, effectively ending the conversation. I wasn't done with it, though. What Riley said honestly scared the shit out of me. I'd never stayed this long before unless I was living in my own house. I had been worried from the beginning of the summer that people would start talking and that their tolerance would wane.
"Carlisle, snap out of it," Edward barked at me, startling me and bringing back into what was happening there on the porch. "Stop worrying about things you have no control over. Everything is fine," he said. Despite the way he spoke to me, the expression on his face was soft. He smiled at me as he came and sat down, draping his arm over my shoulder and leaning into me.
"It's not," I replied, smiling. "But I appreciate the reassurance."
"You're kind of impossible to deal with sometimes," he replied, grinning because he knew he was being a shit. "I'll be right back. Riptide is over there under the Meads' house. I think he's tryin' to get up the stairs. "
He stood and headed next door, whistling and yelling at the stallion who was, in fact, trying to climb the steps up the porch.
"So, Riley," I said, turning my attention to him. "I'm sorry. I don't really know what else to say."
"I care about him. You don't know what he was like all winter. It was awful, Carlisle. And I was the one here trying to keep him from drinking himself to death or swimming out in the ocean and never coming back. He just sat out there on the beach for days at a time. I sat with him and you know what he talked about? He talked about you. I've heard every story he has to tell about ya'll. I knew there was never anything serious between us. I just don't want to see him hurt again."
I was nearly speechless.
"I'm so, so sorry," I told him. I had obviously misjudged him and I felt like a jackass for it.
"It's fine. I don't blame you for thinking poorly of me. I'm still pretty angry, but he's so much happier with you here that it's hard to hate you for it."
"I don't think poorly of you, Riley. I honestly don't know what to think. I feel like a complete and utter failure. I know I let him down. But on the other hand, his inability to function like a normal human being makes it difficult to live with him," I laughed.
"Yeah, but that's why you love him."
"I guess you're right," I smiled.
We sat in silence for a while, passing the joint back and forth until it went out, and I thought about what it must have been like for Edward, isolated on the island. I knew he missed me when I was gone; I missed him too. I guess it had just never occurred to me how deeply affected he was by my absence. When I was in Chapel Hill I was busy with with students and the university veterinary practice. I rarely had time to sit and wallow in my loneliness, but Edward had all the time in the world.
"Hey, I gotta go," Riley said, startling me. I had no idea how long we'd been sitting there, but I suddenly realized that Edward had never come back from getting Ripper.
"Yeah, ok. Thanks for coming back tonight. I really mean that," I told him. "I guess I ought to go find Edward."
"He's probably down on the beach or something. If ya'll need help with that fence just let me know. I'll be back in the inlet by noon tomorrow," he said as he cleared the stairs and headed down the driveway. I watched him disappear into the night before turning back into the house. It was empty and dark and there was no sign of Edward in the yard or on the beach. I ran my hands through my hair and sighed; I had a feeling that once I found him we were going to be in for a long night. I had a lot to say to him.
OtO
"C'mon, Whistle," I said, clucking to the horse. I pointed him in the direction of The Casino, figuring that would be a good place to start my search for Edward. He was probably either there or at the Inn, getting drunk and probably about to get into a fight.
Sure enough, Ripper was tied up out in front. I tethered Whistle next to him and made my way to Ras, who was standing in the doorway.
"You probably ought to go on in there and do something about your boy, Cullen. Looks like he's about to start tearing things up and I'd hate to have to kick his ass tonight," he said to me with no hint of a smile on his face. My mouth fell open at the "your boy" part of his statement. Were we that obvious? I didn't have time to dwell on the ramifications of that for long as Ras slapped his giant hand on my back and ushered me inside.
"He's upstairs. I made him hop up there with the band. He's gotta stay off the floor. If he starts trouble it ain't gonna end pretty."
"Uh, thanks Ras. I'm sorry. I'll get him…we'll be…fuck. I'll get him outta here," I stuttered. Ras just nodded and went back outside.
I climbed the stairs up to the dance floor where the band was just finishing up a set. Edward was wailing on a trumpet, hunched over with his back to the crowd. The song ended and the piano player got up and said something into his ear; something that obviously ticked him off because he tossed the horn onto the floor and hopped off the stage. He saw me and headed my direction. He slammed into my chest and tried to hug me, burying his face in the crook of my neck as I tried to peel him off of me.
"Baby, you're causing a scene," I whispered into his ear. "We have to get out of here."
He took a step back and glanced around the room, a look of pain and anxiety on his face. "I can't deal with this and Riley and trying to keep it all together. Shit. Why are people looking at us?" I could see the wheels in his head spinning out of control and knew we were headed for a serious breakdown.
"Come on," I grabbed his hand, suddenly not giving a shit about anyone else in the room, the intense need to get him out of there overwhelming me. We headed towards the stairs and were almost out the door when some dumb looking kid from the mainland stepped in front of us, blocking our exit.
"Hey sissy boys. Why ya in sucha hurry?" he slurred.
I felt Edward tense next to me, and he seemed to grow taller and wider, filling with anger like a bulldog about to fight. He was on top of the asshole in a second, pushing the kid down the narrow hallway and out one of the side doors of the building, beating the ever loving shit out of him in the process. I heard Ras roar in the background and knew I needed to get Edward out of there as fast as I could. I yelled his name and got no response, so I finally just wrapped my arms around his waist and started dragging him to where the horses were tied up. Ras came barreling around the corner and grabbed the kid by the collar of his shirt, swearing at him and telling him to beat it. He turned to face us, red with anger.
"Get home now. Carlisle, I better not see him back here until he cools off. Get your shit worked out and take care of him, you hear me?" Ras said, glancing back and forth between Edward and me.
"I'm sorry, Ras. Really, really sorry," I said as Edward slumped against me.
"I don't think it's me you oughta be apologizin' to," he replied, nodding towards Edward. "I don't know what's going on between you two, but I do know he ain't been right since the last time you left. And then comin' here and actin' like a fool in my bar? I got enough to deal with now that the tourists are back for the summer. He knows better. Work it out, Carlisle." He turned then and headed back inside.
Edward coughed next to me and wiped his bloody nose on the sleeve of his shirt.
"Where's my horse?" he muttered. I did some more opening and closing of my mouth, not able to find words for him, as he wandered around front to where the horses were tied up. I watched him clamber up on Riptide and point the horse towards home, never once looking back to see if I was following.
I was, of course.
OtO
"Edward," I said softly. He was sitting on the back steps smoking a cigarette and watching the waves.
"Hey," he responded. I sat down on the step next to him and we were silent for a minute before he spoke again.
"My granddaddy Masen used to tell me a story about water horses that lived in the ocean and would lure little kids into the water, but not let them out. Kelpies, he called them. I think he was probably just trying to keep me from going out in the surf when the tides were real rough, but the stories never really scared me. Can't imagine a sea horse wantin' to drown a kid."
I looked from him to Riptide, who was standing next to the stairs, his muzzle resting on Edward's shoulder.
"Remember going out to swim in the middle of the night when the plankton would light up the water?" I asked him.
"It was like swimming in stars."
"Let me clean up your face."
"I'm fine. I think that little shit broke my nose, though."
"Let me look at it."
"I said I'm fine."
"I'll just do it when you're asleep. Let me look now."
He huffed and tossed the cigarette into the sand as he stood up and turned to go inside the house. Flipping on the light in the kitchen, he hopped up onto the counter and sat waiting for me.
"I don't know what you're going to do about my broken nose, horse doctor," he said to me, a small grin on his bruised face.
"You probably need stitches over your eye. Just let me clean the blood off. Were you planning on fighting with everyone in the bar?"
"Just the people who looked at me funny. Got through two of 'em before Ras shoved me up onto the stage."
"Uh huh. Tilt your head up," I told him. His nose was definitely broken and the rest of his face didn't look much better. I took my time wiping the dried and caked‐on blood off. He winced every time the rag got anywhere near his nose, and I wished that there was something I could do to make it hurt less. I knew there was no way he was going to let me take him to the hospital in Elizabeth City, and even then there was nothing they could really do for him.
"Baby you need stitches above your eye. There's glass in it. I don't even want to know how that happened." I grabbed a pair of tweezers and started removing the tiny shards of glass from the gash. He was starting to get twitchy again but I couldn't rush cleaning the wound.
"Sit still, please," I asked him as he reached down and started messing with the button on my pants. "Edward, seriously. Stop it and let me finish." He whined under his breath but sat on his hands in an attempt to keep them still.
"The glass is out. Let me go get my bag out of the car and I'll stitch it up. Otherwise it's going to heal from the inside out and you're going to have a nasty scar," I told him. He muttered something under his breath about scars as I ran outside and grabbed some stuff to finish cleaning him up.
"No fucking way, Carlisle," he said as I walked in with a needle and syringe. "That's a goddamn horse needle and you're not sticking it in my head." He jumped off the counter and started backing away from me.
"Well, it will hurt less than me stitching you up without numbing it," I told him as I filled the syringe with lydocaine and followed him into the bedroom.
"Sit down on the bed."
He looked around and realized he was backed into a corner and I wasn't going to let him get out of this, so he sat down on the edge of the bed.
"Back up a little," I told him. He scooted further back and I sat down in his lap, facing him, so he couldn't get away.
"Take a deep breath. It's a pretty big gauge needle, but you'll be ok."
He closed his eyes and sucked in a mouthful of air. I couldn't help but laugh at how just a few hours ago he was fearlessly cracking heads at the bar and was now reduced to near tears at the sight of a needle. I kissed his neck softly and then injected the lydocaine into the skin above his eye. He hissed but didn't move. I injected three more places around the gash and then tossed the needle and syringe onto the floor and wrapped my arms around him.
"I'm sorry. It will be numb in a minute and then I'll stitch it up," I told him.
"Get off me," he said, squirming underneath me.
"I said I was sorry. It shouldn't hurt anymore…"
"No, really, get off me. I'm going to throw up all over you if don't move." He dumped me onto the bed and ran to the window where he emptied the contents of his stomach (which, at that point, was probably nothing more than whiskey) onto the ground below. He turned back around and sank to the floor, looking absolutely defeated.
"Come into the living room and let's finish this," I said, grabbing his hand and pulling him up. He groaned but followed, and I made quick work of stitching his eye up. When I was done, he stretched out on the sofa while I cleaned up, grabbed some ice for his nose, and turned all the lights off. The moon was full and bright and I knew the electric lights made his head hurt. He lifted up enough for me to scoot underneath him and then laid his head in my lap, sighing contentedly. The orange cat curled up on his stomach and he whispered an I love you just before drifting off to sleep.
Sitting there with my hands in his hair, listening to his breathing, the cat purring, the waves hitting the shore right outside the window all lulled me into state of comfort that I knew I shouldn't feel. We had to get to the root of all this because I couldn't spend the rest of my life stitching him up and kissing away the scars. It wasn't fair to either of us. But yet, once again, the storm blew through and he was back to being my sweet Edward and it was easier just to ignore what had happened. I made a promise to myself that I would make him talk to me in the morning and then drifted off to sleep myself, anchored to the sofa, the house, and the island by the man quietly snoring in my lap.
OtO
a/n
Uh...sorry about the wait. Hope it was worth it. I'm back on a regular writing schedule now so expect an update every other week.
As always, thanks to suzspetals, sadtomatoFF and TheRainGirl4 for reading, editing, and just being awesome. And to Moi for shouty-capping me into updating. ;) Super special thanks to The Perv Pack's Smut Shack for rec'ing and reviewing-means the world to me, ladies. And thank you to everyone who has taken a minute to leave me a review.
And now...I'm off to Forks! I'll be sure to stand in the forest and scream "THIS IS THE SKIN OF A KILLER!" and "AS IF YOU COULD OUTRUN ME!" and of course "ANIMAL ATTACK!" over and over. Because, really, why else would you go to Forks?
xoxo