Chapter 6

Beth wandered aimlessly through the Keep, her mind racing with the enormity of her mission. She opened the door in front of her and found herself in the library. Looking around at the chaos, she began straightening up. Keeping herself busy was the only way to sort out her thoughts and emotions.

Nate wasn't sure what to do with himself now. The Warden-Commander was not what he expected. He found himself thinking about her eyes, her kind face and the fact that she seemed so familiar. As he wandered about his old home, he started to get angry at the destruction around him. Darkspawn... As a Grey Warden he could fight them better. This might actually turn out to be a good thing. His wandering led him to a door, he hesitated then opened it and entered the library.

Beth heard the door open and glanced up. She nodded to Nate then went back to sorting the good books from the burnt books.

Nate looked into the room. The windows were open wide, allowing the smoky air to clear out. The Warden-Commander was sitting in the middle of the room with books all around her. There was something so familiar about this. He sat down across from her and watched her closely.

Beth looked up when Nate sat down. She looked into his familiar blue eyes and remembered the childhood crush she had once had. He didn't recognize her, that she could see. Saddened, she looked down at the badly damaged book and tossed it into the fire with the others.

Nate felt self-conscious as the Commander's blue eyes studied him. He saw such compassion in them, then a sadness clouded her beautiful face. "I hate seeing books burnt," she said as she tossed another into the fire.

"Our library wasn't the best, but I remember quite a few books that I liked," he said and looked around at the mess.

As they sat in silence, Nate continued to study the woman in front of him. He wondered what she would have done if he had challenged her. He couldn't resolve the feeling of familiarity that overwhelmed him, and finally he said quietly, "I feel that I should know you. You seem so familiar, but I can't quite place you."

She smiled, deciding to tell him the truth and said softly, "You know me, but I was a lot younger when you left."

Suddenly the realization hit him and he stood, panicked. "Elizabeth Cousland?" He looked into her eyes and shook his head. This couldn't be his childhood friend, could it? "Beth?"

She laughed softly at his discomfort. "Yes, I'm Beth."

He watched her face and saw the pig-tailed girl in the beautiful woman sitting in front of him. He had been in love with her, but had left in defiance of his father's wish to marry her. His father...how could she look at him with such kindness? "I don't understand. Why did you let me live? Don't you hate me for what my father did?"

She looked deeply into his eyes, "Why would I hate you? You were my best friend. You aren't your father."

He sat back down slowly, struggling with a variety of emotions, memories of the past flooded his mind. He remembered a time, when the nobles gathered to watch the squires battle for the right to be knighted. After the tournament, the children would run off to play: girls going to the house, helping in the kitchen or doing needlework, while the boys would take their wooden swords and act out the tournaments in play. He would go off with Cailen Theirin (the future king) and Fergus Cousland (Beth's brother) to pretend sword fight. Beth would run after them, picking up a pair of sticks and shouting for them to wait up.

Nate's mother had died when he was twelve, Beth, who was ten at the time, had taken his hand, comforting him the only way she knew. His father had seen the gesture and began talking to Teyrn Bryce Cousland, Beth's father and his father's best friend, about arranging a marriage. Nate had seen his father starting to change even then. The last time he had seen Beth was at his sixteenth birthday party. Nate had begun to fall in love with Beth, but he was not going to let his father run his life. When his father began pushing for them to be betrothed, Nate got into a huge argument and ran away from home.

Now as he looked at the woman who was watching him with so much compassion, he felt the stirrings of feelings and asked softly, "How did you escape from Highever?"

"A Grey Warden named Duncan was at Highever Castle recruiting. He saved me," she said sadly.

"Did you truly kill my father?" he asked. He wasn't certain he wanted the answer, but he had to ask.

She sighed, "Loghain had declared himself regent and wanted to start a war with Orlais. Your father supported him by coercing the nobles to their side. I confronted your father and he fought me. I gave him the chance to surrender, but he wouldn't and preferred death to imprisonment."

Nate was quiet for a long while. Beth's voice held a sadness and despair that could not be disregarded. She did not kill his father for vengeance and he had lost all desire for his. He finally looked up and said, "Maybe if I had been here, Father wouldn't have..."

She took his hands and looked into his eyes, "Nate, you couldn't have changed anything. He was beyond reasoning with."

He blushed at the intensity of her gaze. He looked down at her hands, "I don't know. If I hadn't fought with Father and left..."

"You were too young and your father felt he deserved more than what he had," she said sadly. Then she looked down at their hands and giving his hands a squeeze before letting go said, "Now that your hands are dirty too, why don't you help me with these books?"

He nodded and began sorting books while at the same time wrestling with the emotions that raced through him.

...

Margaret looked over the group of soldiers that were getting settled into the barracks. She had shown them around the Keep and was wondering what to do next when Fenton came up to her. "So, what do you think of our Commander?" he asked.

She hesitated, "I haven't quite figured her out yet. It's hard to believe that she's the Hero everyone talks about."

"Yeah, until you see her use those blades of hers," Fenton mused. "I've never seen anyone that fast."

They left the barracks and walked toward the training grounds. "Darkspawn that speak. That worries me though," he said. "I can't wait for the ritual, so I can start hunting them."

She shook her head. "After all that I've seen, we need to recruit as many Grey Wardens to fight them as we can."

"We may need Grey Wardens, but I don't understand why she would conscript that apostate, he's dangerous," Fenton said, shaking his head. "How can she trust him?"

"From the stories I heard, she had gathered quite a diverse group during the Blight, including an Antivan Crow." Margaret said and began organizing the weapons stands and other training materials.

"Yes, I heard that too. I also heard she was betrayed by that Antivan Crow and ended up having to kill him. I hope we don't regret her decision with that mage." Fenton started working on the training dummies.

Margaret paused and looked at Fenton. She had thought he would be someone she could confide in, but his hatred of Anders was disturbing. She shook her head and said, "We'll just have to trust the Commander's judgement."

...

Varel was in the keep's study. It hadn't been hit as hard as other rooms, thankfully, and his records were still in good shape. He looked up from the desk as the door opened. Beth looked in and said, "I'm not disturbing you, am I?"

"Of course not, Commander. How can I help you?" he asked and watched as she sat across the desk from him.

"What's the Keep's status?" she asked formally.

"The darkspawn weren't interested in our coin, so the vault is untouched. Anders has seven injured, one is a Warden. Ohgren and Dworkin are collecting the darkspawn bodies for burning. Margaret and Fenton have gotten our new recruits settled and are working on the training grounds." He looked at her a moment. "All in all, I'd say we're in decent shape, except for the lack of support staff."

Beth nodded, "I sent a letter to the Guard-Commander of Amaranthine along with a help-wanted request for servants. I know that the Amaranthine troops are low but we need to rebuild the Keep's protection as quickly as possible. Hopefully we can also rebuild our support staff at the same time." She hesitated and said, "We need to discover the entry point that the darkspawn used to get into the Keep and seal it. I don't want any more surprise attacks. I will have Ohgren organize search parties among the soldiers."

Varel nodded. "That sounds like a solid plan. A few of the survivors are ready for work. We currently have a couple of housekeeping staff who are setting up the rooms upstairs for your Wardens once you have the ceremony."

"We will be doing that tonight," she said and stood up. "I have a lot of preparations to make and I should look in on our injured. Thank you, Seneschal. I feel confident the Keep is in good hands." She bowed and left.

Varel stood and bowed. He watched her leave and thought about this new Commander. For someone so young, she had a better grasp on the situation than many people twice her age would have. He sat back down, lost in his thoughts.

...

Anders looked around the makeshift infirmary. There had only been seven people injured enough to stay in the infirmary. One of them was a Warden, but Anders didn't know if the man would survive his injuries.

Ohgren entered the room and dumped a bed sheet filled with bottles on the floor. "I found you some potions and stuff," he said.

"Careful! Don't break them! I'll have to make sure you didn't grab any poisons by mistake," he said and glared at the dwarf.

"Well, I'm just tryin' to help the Warden. She told me to bring anything that looked like medicine to you," Ohgren said in a huff.

"Did you really travel with her during the Blight?" Anders asked.

"Yeah," Ohgren said, softening. "She's been through a lot. But, it's not my place to talk about her. I'm going to the kitchen. Want something?"

"No, but thanks." Anders said. He watched the dwarf leave, wondering what the Commander had done to make a dwarf have that much respect for her. Dwarves were not the best secret keepers, especially when they were drinking. Maybe if Anders could find some good ale and get the dwarf drunk, he could pry some information out of him.

He walked over to the Warden and began a healing spell. His hands began glowing a faint blue which radiated downward into the wound. Beth entered the room and stood quietly, watching. The glow faded and Anders staggered backward. She caught him before he fell. "Used a bit more mana than I should have, I guess," he said weakly.

"It does us no good if you wear yourself out," she said as she help him stand.

"No, but promise you'll catch me again if I do," he said smiling broadly at her and winking.

Beth rolled her eyes and looked down at the injured man. He was stirring and trying to talk. She leaned over to hear better. "Watch out...for...talking..." and he was out again.

"Is he going to make it?" she asked, concerned.

"I don't know. His injuries are grave." Anders said solemnly.

She looked at him sadly and asked, "How are the others?"

"Let's see, we've got three men with broken legs, a broken arm and ribs, a nasty spear wound, a head injury and the Warden," he said pointing at the cots. "They all need to rest for a couple of days. If we had another mage, they would heal a bit faster."

"Sounds like everything is under control. Hopefully, we'll get some mages when the reinforcements arrive," she said, concern for the injured evident on her face. Anders watched as the Commander went to each cot and spoke quietly with the men that were awake. He couldn't figure her out. On one hand, she seemed cold and aloof. But right now, showing her concern for the men, she seemed so warm and caring.

He was sorting the various vials that Ohgren had found when she startled him, "Do we have any lyrium?"

He jumped. "I didn't hear you come up to me!" he exclaimed sheepishly, then worried he said, "We have a little lyrium. Why? What do you need it for?" Lyrium was addictive and he knew she said she had Templar skills. Templars use lyrium to give them their link to the Fade in order to use defensive spells against mages.

"I need a very small amount for a potion," she said mysteriously.

"You don't use it, do you?" he asked abruptly.

"Maker! No!" she exclaimed. "It's Warden business and I can't explain right now."

He handed her a small vial of blue sparkling liquid. Beth put it in her pouch and turning to leave said, "Don't worry Anders. I'm not using it personally."

"Commander?" Anders called, stopping her.

"What is it?" she asked.

He looked at her hesitantly then asked, "Why did you save me from the Templars?"

She smiled at him, "I don't agree with the Chantry about adult mages. I feel that once a mage has been through the Harrrowing, they should be allowed to follow their hearts and live their own lives. I think it's wrong to lock every single mage in a tower and never let them out." She paused and looked around the room, "Look at the good work you've done already." She sighed and said, "I'm sorry I can't stay and chat, but, I have a lot of preparations to make before we can perform the joining ceremony." She gave him a smile and left the room.

Anders watched the door close behind her. The mysteries kept piling up around his new Commander and he decided that his mission would be to get her to open up to him.