Chapter 7

Beth left the infirmary and went to the vault. If the Wardens from Orlais had done their job, the information and supplies she needed should be inside. She inserted the key into the lock and heard the click of release. She opened the steel reinforced door and, taking a torch from the outside hall, walked into the dark room. She easily found the chest with the griffon symbol and opened it. Inside were various items needed to establish a Warden base. She took out a white flag with a rearing red griffon on it, a silver chalice, several vials of dark liquid and a notebook. She closed the lid of the chest and left the vault, locking it. She extinguished her torch and strode purposefully to the northeast and tallest guard tower.

Beth climbed the stairs until she reached the pinnacle. She lowered the tattered remnants of a flag and raised the clean Grey Warden banner to the top. The sun was high overhead and she settled on the battlements with her back against the cool stone wall. Bear came barreling out of the door and rushed over, greeting her with sloppy wet licks. "Down boy," she laughed. "I don't want to know what you've been up to. Your breath stinks."

The warhound turned in a circle three times and lay down at her feet, sighing happily. She opened the notebook and soon was immersed in the diary of a Grey Warden.

...

Margaret and Fenton finished setting up the training area as the sun was setting. Margaret went towards the kitchen hoping that a meal would be waiting. She entered and was pleased to see stew bubbling in a pot over the fire. The Commander, Anders, Varel and a man she hadn't yet met were already seated. They were discussing Keep business as they ate.

Margaret grabbed a bowl and scooped some stew into it. She sat down and the Commander said, "Ready to start training?"

"Yes, ser," she said. "The Keep has quite a large area for training."

"Well done," Beth said.

The two dwarves and Fenton entered the room, helped themselves to food and sat down.

Beth looked around at the group. "We will perform the joining ceremony after dinner in the chapel at the back of the keep. Fenton ,Ohgren and Margaret... you can change your mind about joining and I will not think any less of you. Being a Grey Warden has its downsides as well as its benefits. Anders and Nathaniel, since I have conscripted you, it would be considered desertion and you would be wanted men. Senaschel Varel and Dworkin, you are not allowed to view the joining, it is a private ceremony for Wardens only, so if you could keep the soldiers busy and away from the chapel, I would be truly grateful. " Beth stood, cleared her dishes and left the room.

"I don't get her at all." Margaret finally said. "She is nothing like I thought she would be."

"Oh," said Varel, "and just how should a Warden-Commander be?"

"I don't know. More friendly?" she suggested.

"The Warden is a tremendous leader, but she has been through a lot." Ohgren said, sounding very undwarfish. "Things were rough there at the end and it's only been six months or so."

"I heard she didn't want this post," Fenton said.

Varel shook his head at them. "Give her a chance. She arrived to a mess, not a neat orderly keep. I think she's handling things fine."

Margaret looked at Nathaniel. "What's your story? Why are you here?"

"My name's Nathaniel. I got conscripted into service and that's all I'm saying right now," he said shortly.

"When I left Denerim, the Queen gave me the choice of going back or staying and becoming a Grey Warden. I'm not backing out now," she said.

...

Beth set the chalice upon the altar. She felt the chapel would be far enough from the Keep for the privacy needed. She watched as her recruits slowly entered the barracks. She nodded at them as they formed a semi circle around her and she finished the last of the preparations. Holding the notebook, she began to recite the ritual:

"Welcome, brothers and sister. The Grey Wardens were founded during the first Blight. It was these courageous leaders that drank of darkspawn blood and mastered the taint. The taint is the source of our power. Those who survive become immune, can sense darkspawn near them, and can slay the archdemon."

The group had remained silent, but Beth saw furtive glances cast between them.

She heard his voice instead of her own as she continued:

"Join us, brothers and sisters.

Join us in the shadows where we stand, vigilant.

Join us as we carry the duty that cannot be forsworn.

And should you perish, know that your sacrifice will not be forgotten

and that one day we shall join you."

She approached Ohgren and held out the chalice to him. "Ohgren, please step forward. Take only a sip," she advised.

Ohgren stepped towards her, took the cup, swallowed a gulp and belched rudely.

Taking the cup back, Beth rolled her eyes at him and said, "Welcome, Grey Warden."

Ohgren smiled and stepped back. Beth said, "Margaret, please step forward."

Margaret walked towards her and took the cup with shaky hands. She looked down at the vile liquid, closed her eyes and took a sip. She felt the chalice taken from her hands as she collapsed to the ground. She let out a shriek as she convulsed with pain. The others took a step back. Anders was about to use healing magic when Beth said, "Don't." He watched helplessly as she writhed and went still. Beth knelt down and breathed a sigh of relief. "She's fine."

Beth stood up and looked at Fenton. "Fenton, please step forward."

Fenton hesitated, looked at Margaret, then slowly advanced to take the cup. He grimaced as he swallowed. Beth took the cup as he collapsed to the floor. Fenton made no sound and didn't move. Beth knelt down and felt for his pulse. She stood shaking her head and said, "I am sorry," to his lifeless body.

Nathaniel and Anders looked at each other in panic. Beth looked at them sadly and said, "Anders, please step forward."

Anders swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat . 'No matter what happens, I'll be free of the Circle,' he thought. He stepped forward, took the cup and swallowed. He felt Beth take the cup as a weakness swept over him, causing him to crumple to the floor. He felt a wave of pain and convulsed, moaning. Another wave washed over him, causing another convulsion and then he lay still. Beth knelt down and said with relief. "He has survived."

Standing, Beth looked at Nathaniel worriedly. She realized her childhood feelings for him had resurfaced and she was worried. Pushing all hesitation aside, she said, "Nathaniel."

Nate looked at her and knew she was worried about him, but he stepped toward her and took the cup. He took a swallow and as she took the cup from his hands, he dropped to his knees. Shaking and moaning, he collapsed as the waves of pain shook him to his core. When he stilled, Beth knelt down and put a shaky hand to his throat. She let out a breathe of relief when she felt the strong beat of his heart.

Beth stood up and looked at her recruits. Margaret had begun to awaken and Beth hurried over to help her up. "Welcome, Grey Warden," she said.

Margaret shook her head. "Maker, that was awful."

Beth smiled comfortingly at her. "The worst is over."

Anders began stirring and Beth hurried to help him up. "Welcome, Grey Warden," she said, smiling at him.

"Let's not do that again!" he said, smiling back at her.

Beth watched Nate expectantly. He began moving and she let out the breath she hadn't realized she was holding. She took his hand, helped him to stand and said, "Welcome, Grey Warden."

He looked at her and said, "Easy for you to say," then swayed forward. She caught him from falling and helped him steady himself.

"To finish your joining, I am giving each of you an amulet. This amulet contains a drop of the potion you drank to remember those that have gone before you." She sadly looked down at Fenton's body.

"Do you need help cleaning up?" Ohgren asked.

Beth smiled at him, "No. You should all head off to bed. The joining takes its toll on you." She smiled at them as they slowly walked out of the chapel. She started to clean up and her thoughts wandered back to her joining.

Duncan had looked at her sadly. There had been two other recruits besides herself. Daveth had not survived the drink. Ser Jory had panicked and Duncan had been forced to kill him. She was waiting to take her turn. She wasn't afraid, she had nothing to lose. Her entire family had been murdered by one of her father's closest friends. She had taken the chalice, swallowed the bitter liquid and collapsed from the pain. She had seen the dragon and darkspawn in visions that to this day haunt her nightmares. When she had come to, Duncan had helped her up and welcomed her as a Grey Warden.

Taking a deep breath to calm herself, she looked around the room and with great sadness, dragged Fenton's body to the door. She somehow struggled the body outside and around to the small graveyard. Sweating and out of breath, she searched the small shed for a shovel. Finally finding one, she set herself on the unpleasant task of burying Fenton.

The moon shone brilliantly, bathing the small graveyard in light. Bear had returned from his own excursions and was lying nearby. Beth concentrated on the task at hand and was finished just as the moon became hidden behind the trees.

Beth went to the well and drew a bucket of water. After dumping most of it over herself, she wandered back to the chapel, packed the Grey Warden paraphernalia and took it back to the vault in the keep.

She locked the vault and headed to the battlements. Settling down against the Keep wall, she looked at the stars in the sky and her mind drifted...

She had liked Alistair from the moment she met him. His sarcasm and good-natured humor always made her smile. She remembered how grim he had looked during her joining. He had told her later that he had been worried about her even then.

'And not just because I don't want to be the junior Warden any longer,' he had said.

She hadn't been able to rest immediately after her joining. King Cailen had requested her input on the coming battle. She had beaten him so many times at chess that he wanted her thoughts on his battle strategies. She remembered how angry Loghain had looked when Duncan approached with her at his side. At the time she thought it was just his disdain at the Grey Wardens. It was well known Loghain thought Cailen's obsession with the wardens was ridiculous. Later events, however, showed that he had concocted traitorous battle plans of his own.

She had proven herself a competent battle strategist. Cailen had taken her aside afterwards and told her of his plans. After the battle, he would have his marriage to Anora annulled and he would formally propose to her. Her heart had skipped a beat. She had always loved Cailen, but when Cailen's father, Meric became ill, Loghain had taken advantage and had his daughter Anora formally betrothed to Cailen. Cailen's coronation and marriage happened within six months after Meric passed from his illness.

Cailen didn't love Anora, but he had to obey his father's dying wish.

Beth remembered her mother consoling her after Cailen's wedding, as she wept for dreams that would never be fulfilled. The last five years, her mother had made it her mission to have every eligible bachelor visit Castle Cousland.

That horrible night, she had finally accepted Darrien's proposal, then everything went from bad to worse.

Arl Howe's men had attacked the castle, killing everyone. She had been torn from her security into a nightmare that didn't seem to end. Darrien had rushed to her rescue only to be killed before her eyes. She had fled with her mother to a servants' entrance only to find her father dying in a pool of blood. She would never forget the scene of her mother standing protectively over her father's body with her bow while Duncan, the Warden-Commander, dragged Beth from the burning castle.

She stood up, her heart racing and tears streaming down her face. Wiping away the wetness, she looked around battlement. The sun was just peeking over the horizon. Bear sat watching her, Beth reached down, patted his head and said, "Let's go find some breakfast." Bear barked eagerly and ran ahead of her.

...

Beth entered the kitchen and found her new Wardens eating. A servant woman was busy chopping vegetables and she nodded to Beth. Beth smiled at her, got a bowl of food and sat down.

"Commander, are bad dreams the norm for Wardens?" Anders asked. "Because I had a terrible one filled with darkspawn last night."

"Unfortunately, you will have an increase in nightmares, at least there isn't a Blight. The archdemon is quite terrifying," she answered. "You will be able to eventually block them out."

"I hope so. I need my beauty sleep." Anders quipped. "You okay, Nathaniel? You look rather ragged."

"Yes, I think so, I didn't sleep too well. What happened to Fenton's body?" Nathanial asked.

Beth looked at the group. "We do not mention the ones who do not survive the joining. If anyone asks about Fenton, he's just not with us."

"I'm amazed anyone becomes a Warden." Margaret said.

"Did you know? About the risks before you joined." Anders asked Beth.

"No and it is a secret kept from anyone not a Warden." She paused a moment, evaluating each of them. She stood and said, "We need to start sorting our soldiers by their skills. Meet me in the training grounds when you finish eating." Watching Ohgren pile more food into his bowl, she smiled and as she left said, "If you finish eating..."