Author's Note: Due to an abundance of complaints that it's difficult to tell whether the story is in reality or a dream at any given time, I've reworked the formatting so all dreams are italicized.

Lord of My Dreams

Chapter 1: Awake

It was as peaceful as ever that day. No one ever expected the disaster that struck without a warning.

She was weeding in her family's garden. Mother was tending to her little brother, sick with a terrible fever, and Father had gone to a neighboring village for a fortnight. Weeding the extensive fields in the bright sun of summer was a difficult task, but she did not complain. Her family's fields were larger than most of the other villagers'. While this meant more work, it also meant that they were quite blessed, and she was not about to act as though that meant nothing to her.

By the time she had finished the wheat field, the sun was beginning to sink in the west. There was still a good deal of light, however, so she decided to head to the cornfield while there was still light. Wiping her forehead with the back of her hand, she sighed and stepped out of the damp dirt of the wheat field. She then untied her ragged skirt where it had been secured on her lower thighs, letting it fall to its proper length.

Someone screamed. She spun around. Arrows were flying out of the southern forest at the small village. Overcome with terror, she spun around and began to run home—she would need to help her mother and little brother escape this sudden attack, somehow.

She was terrified of the arrows that poured down on them like rain, and that became panic when flaming arrows began to come at them. She had just come into view of her house when it caught fire. She screamed and tried to run faster.

But hands grabbed her from behind. She was about to scream when the hands spun her around, and the scream became a whimper of relief. It was He.

"Get to the hideaway!"

She turned her eyes towards her family's house in protest. She almost never contradicted him, but at this particular moment, her mind was in a turmoil, and she simply could not think. Yet, even as she was terrified, her heart warmed as it always did when He was there.

"Are you deaf? Get to the hideaway now!" His eyes were cold as he yelled at her, and she knew that he would not take no for an answer. So she nodded and ran in the direction in which all the other villagers were going as well.

When they reached the center of the village, there was a well. The people were crowded around that well, pushing and shoving to get into it. It was a small village, but only one person could jump into the well at a time. She did not join the pushing and shoving, instead looking around for him, as well as her mother and little brother. They were nowhere to be seen, and eventually there were hardly any people left by the well. With a single backwards glance, she lifted her body to the edge of the well, and then jumped in. The water was cold, but before she had been in it a moment, hands reached down from above, dragging her into an opening on the side of the well. The floor was damp, but she was drenched, and paid no attention to that.

The two men who had pulled her up quickly pushed her deeper into the tunnel so that they could pull up the next person.

It was pitch black, so she felt her way along the walls. Before long, she came out to a large open cavern. The slightest amount of light filtered in from somewhere, although it was impossible to tell where. It was freezing, and her wet clothing did nothing to help. The cave continued in a number of directions from this cavern, but everyone of the village who had managed to escape was here. It was a little crowded, but it was not suffocating. She walked cautiously to an area where there were less people, and suddenly her foot was even colder than before. Hastily pulling it back, she realized that it was an underground river. She bent down and felt along with her hands to find a place where she could sit not too close to the water.

Hours seemed to pass as she sat there in the silent caves, hugging her knees. All that could be heard was an occasional cry of a babe or a slight whisper as someone spoke to someone else. But not many did speak. She did not speak, nor did she edge closer to others as most were doing to calm their terror. She was anxious for her family as well as him. Although she knew that he was more likely to be all right, for some reason, she found herself more anxious about his wellbeing.

No one entered the cavern any longer. Everyone who had survived was already there. Yet, somehow, she was sure that he would come. She sat motionless, staring at the tunnel from which she had entered.

It was when most others in the cavern had fallen asleep that he entered. His eyes scanned the cavern sharply, falling on her. She breathed a sigh of relief as he approached her with steady steps.

"…I apologize." His words were said in a voice so low that she barely caught them, but the sight of him had warmed her cold, lonely heart, and she smiled at him. She knew that he was apologizing that he had been unable to save her family, but she had given up on the survival of everyone she loved. The survival of one among those she loved was more than enough of a miracle for her.

He lowered his body to sit beside her, and then wrapped a warm arm around her. "Sleep." They knew that when she woke in the morning, the shock would have worn off and she would then grieve her family in earnest.

Snuggling against the warm body beside her, she obediently drifted off into slumber.

When she opened her eyes, for a moment, she had no idea where she was, for she had expected to wake in a dark, damp cavern. She realized that it had been a dream, but somehow, she knew that it was more than a simple dream. Her heart was warm, and she had an overwhelming desire for something—or someone—that she was missing. Had it been the man, perhaps? Or the family? Maybe the time? Or the place?

Higurashi Rin shook her head, but remained lying in bed. She closed her eyes, recalling everything she could of the dream. The tunnel…the cave…the feeling of warmth as she fell asleep… And then she thought of the man. Just thinking of him made her heart ache, and she groaned in frustration. So it was the man that caused the ache. Again.

Rin had been having such dreams for about five and a half years now. They all differed in time, place, and circumstances. There were violent dreams such as the one that she had just had, but there were also peaceful ones. There were two reasons why she classified them in a single category: an unbearable ache in her chest when she awoke, and His presence in them.

She could remember nothing of him. All she knew was that she felt strongly for him in some way, although she never could remember any of his features when she awoke. Yet, somehow, she thought that she knew who he was. But she refused to think about it, for she could not know for certain whether it was actually so or simply her own wishful thinking.

Sighing, Rin sat up in bed. Rubbing her head in half-hearted annoyance, she reached for her diary. Though she had no idea why, she felt the need to record these strange dreams, and had therefore begun doing so two years before.

Naturally, the first time she had had such a dream, she had thought nothing of it. It seemed to be a one-time thing, and the unbearable desire lessened and eventually vanished as the days went by. But then she had had a second. It had struck her as slightly strange that her emotions were so stirred by simple dreams, but still dismissed it as nothing of particular importance.

But then she had had a third, a fourth, a fifth, a sixth… She had begun to think it quite strange, and had tried going to a dream-reader to interpret her dreams. However, she could no longer even remember what she had been told—she only recalled that she had instantly deemed it all utter rubbish.

So she had turned to books. She had read all manner of novels with people having strange dreams. However, none ever seemed to relate to her. There were stories where people had special dreams every night, or repeatedly had the same dream over and over, or where they knew that they were special because they remained vividly in their minds… But Rin's dreams were infrequent and unpredictable. She had no idea what the man looked like, and if she did not think about it often or record it, she would forget such dreams as easily as any other. There were even times when she would awaken with no memory of any dream, only knowing that she had had one because of the ache in her heart.

After recording all that she could remember and dating the entry, she closed her diary and sighed. She would have to be getting downstairs soon, but first needed to clear her mind. She was generally the type to let her emotions flow openly, but she had come to know that it was not a particularly good idea to do so after one of these dreams. After the first dream, she had found herself often sobbing for no particular reason over the course of the week, and after the second, she had become irrationally bad-tempered. In addition, the entire times, her thoughts would not leave him. It was quite frustrating to feel so strongly for one who she had known for five years through her dreams, yet had no more than an inference as to his identity.

Maybe, she thought, it's my wishful thinking that causes the dreams in the first place. I dream about him because I know nothing will ever come of it in real life.

"Rin!" she heard her elder sister call at the same time as there was a knock on her bedroom door. "Are you awake?"

"Yeah, I'm awake," Rin mumbled as she mentally stomped once more on the emotions stirred by the dream in an attempt to hold them down. She heard her sister walk away from the door, and shortly afterwards heard footsteps heading down the stairs. Rin slipped out from under the covers, letting her feet touch the floor softly.

Two minutes later, she was heading down the stairs in sweatpants and a T-shirt. Entering the kitchen and muttering a 'good morning' to her elder sister, she sat down at the table for breakfast. Her sister, Kagome, looked quite like Rin in that she also had black hair and brown eyes, but there were differences. If a person knew to look, they could tell that the sisters were not related by blood.

Kagome looked around at Rin and frowned.

"You didn't comb your hair again, did you?" Her sister's voice was reproachful. Indeed, Rin had only brushed the surface of her thick black hair with a comb, and then tied a small ponytail with the upper layer of hair on the side of her head.

"I'll brush it properly after breakfast," Rin promised. Kagome shook her head with a small smile.

"Really, Rin. I doubt that there ever was a teenager more obedient than you. But I'm going to have to cut your hair if you don't take care of it properly." Rin only gave one of her bright laughs at that statement, and went to look at the rice maker.

"O-ne-san, the rice is done."

"Good. I've just finished the miso soup," Kagome replied as she turned off the stove and began ladling the light brown soup into bowls. Meanwhile, Rin opened the rice maker and began dishing the rice into bowls as well. They placed one each of the soup bowls and rice bowls at each of the three places set on the table with chopsticks, a glass and a third bowl containing a raw egg. Kagome then went out into the hallway to call her husband once more.

"Inuyasha!" she called up the stairs. When Rin heard an angry shout in reply, she broke her egg into the bowl that had held it and began to mix it with her chopsticks. When she was satisfied, she dug a hole at the top of her rice and poured in the raw egg. As she mixed that and then began to eat, Rin picked up the newspaper, effectively tuning out her sister and new brother-in-law's arguing.

Normally, Rin would have preferred to rent her own apartment than live with the lovebirds, but her mother had insisted. Kagome and Inuyasha's house actually was quite near the college that she had begun attending, and Rin knew that her mother was having enough trouble paying her college tuition. Although Rin was working as well, helping her mother with her tuition and her sister and brother-in-law with the taxes on their house, her salary was not substantial enough to make very much of a difference.

Rin had finished her meal by the time Kagome finally dragged a sleepy-looking Inuyasha into the kitchen and ordered him to eat. Inuyasha had startling golden eyes, and his dark black hair was always kept long. As Kagome and Inuyasha began to eat, still bickering, Rin washed her dishes and put them into the dish drainer before returning to her room.

She picked up her diary and read the description of her dream that she had written only minutes before. Remembering as she read, Rin contemplated the girl that she had been. She remembered wearing a western dress, tattered and torn, and the hut that she remembered running towards was, doubtlessly, western. However, what puzzled Rin most was the detachment she had felt from her 'family'. She had felt no particular sadness upon learning that her mother and younger brother had died—He had been all that mattered.

It was rare, she had come to realize, for her to feel any attachment to her family in those dreams. In some, she did not even have any family.

As Rin continued to contemplate, trying to figure out what she could, another knock came at her door.

"Yes?" called Rin. The door slowly opened and Kagome entered looking worried.

"Are you all right, Rin?" asked Kagome. Her brow was furrowed in concern as she sat beside Rin on the bed and reached out to touch Rin's hair. Rin let her elder sister stroke her hair. "You've been a little gloomy this morning. Is something wrong at college? Or does it bother you to live with us? Is it something else?" Rin considered smiling and saying that nothing was wrong, but she had never liked faking emotions. So she shook her head and sighed.

"It's nothing, Kagome-ne-san. I had a disturbing dream last night, and that's been on my mind. Nothing's wrong."

"Like what you used to have all those years ago? They've started again?" The look on Kagome's face was suddenly intense. Rin found herself wishing vaguely that her thirteen-year-old self had not told Kagome about the disturbing dreams. But back then, Rin had been finding it difficult to keep one secret, and had therefore wished not to keep another—especially since it affected her so strongly.

If she had wanted, Rin could have lied, or told a half-truth. But she did not like lies, and she trusted her elder sister. In addition, the turmoil of emotions seemed to only grow, and she now wanted to talk.

"They never stopped, o-ne-san," Rin said. "It's just that after a while, I stopped talking about them."

"You said…they're emotionally involved? And you remember someone in them?" Kagome asked. Rin nodded. After only slight hesitation, Kagome asked a question that was gnawing at her mind. "Rin, do you know who 'he' is now? I mean, you didn't know five years ago, but do you now?"

Rin shook her head slowly, a thoughtful look coming to her face.

"I can't say for sure. It's the same as it was—in the dreams, I think I know who he is, but when I wake up, I can't remember anything about him at all." Rin's words were just as thoughtful as her expression, and Kagome looked at Rin in surprise.

"But then how do you even know that they're the same person?" asked Kagome "I mean, couldn't he just be no one in particular? Not to offend you, of course, but what if it's just a person that your mind's been making up—sort of like your dream Prince Charming?" Rin stared at Kagome for a moment, not quite understanding. "What I'm trying to say," Kagome began slowly once more upon seeing Rin's expression, "is that maybe it's just the ideal man for you that your mind's been making up. Not anyone you know or anything."

A smile lit up Rin's face when she understood what Kagome was trying to say.

Rin shook her head. "I know who I always think it is while I'm dreaming. It's just that when I wake up, I can't remember anything about him except who I thought he was, so I can't be sure if it was just my dream-mind playing tricks on me." This time it was Kagome's turn to laugh.

"Come on, Rin," Kagome said. "They're just dreams, after all. You're talking as though they're apparitions."

Rin blinked. Now that she thought about it, she had not been thinking of them as simple dreams for quite a while. She had begun to think that they had some special meaning to them. But Kagome was right. They were probably no more than dreams, and she was better off thinking of them as simple dreams until she had something that proved them to be something else.

"You're right, o-ne-san," Rin said with a bright smile. "Thanks. I was starting to get carried away." Kagome gave a smile.

"But remember—not all dreams are nonsense! Some can be…well, some can really tell you about yourself."

Rin smiled wryly. "Your dream theory again."

Kagome opened her mouth as if to argue; then she closed it again, shaking her head. "So, you said that you know who he is in the dreams. Who is he?"

Rin froze. Kagome, surprised, peered into Rin's face apprehensively.

"Rin?" asked Kagome worriedly. "Are you all right?" Rin did not reply. Kagome called her a few more times before quieting and waiting for her sister to speak.

But the seconds ticked by, and Rin said nothing. She did not even move. It was a chance to begin the telling of the secret that she had kept for all these years, and she was determined to take it. Yet the words were not coming to her lips.

Kagome was just beginning to think that she should leave the room and leave Rin alone, when Rin mumbled something.

"Sorry?" asked Kagome, her brow furrowed, as she leaned her ear towards Rin, who was staring fixedly at the floor.

"Sesshoumaru," said Rin again, once more in a mumble. But this time Kagome heard.

"Sesshoumaru?" asked Kagome, blinking. This couldn't possibly be an answer to her question. "But…you hardly know- Wait, have any of these dreams taken place in feudal Japan?"

Rin blinked. She picked up her dream diary and began leafing through the pages. "Nope, none with that style of clothing."

"Strange," said Kagome, shaking her head. "You hardly know Sesshoumaru in this li- I mean, I've only seen you speaking with him once."

Rin breathed hard—this was her chance to tell. But the words were—again—slow in coming, and just as she opened her mouth to tell the truth, Kagome stood.

"Well, I suppose you want to be alone," said Kagome. Rin, who had jumped at Kagome's sudden movement, looked up at her sister and only nodded mutely. Kagome left the room, closing the door quietly.

Rin turned her eyes to the wall, and let herself get lost in her thoughts—memories—and wished that she could end this meaningless secret that she kept.