A/N: The song that Darren sings when he stops being subtle is Me and You by Joey Lawrence. I have marked it with ** Yes there is a copy on YouTube and I suggest listening to it while you read.
~o~0~o~
Wow trying to knock your boyfriend's socks off was exhausting. Darren had to do some major pleading and bribery at the studio for the pièce de résistance to his scheme and everything was coming together, but slowly. Too slowly. There was no way he would be able to talk to Chris before his show and he resigned himself to making his big move on Sunday – if he could hold out that long.
He was back at Chris' house and as he walked into the great room it was like he was seeing it with new eyes. In the day light the house was so open and bright. Unexpectedly, his breath caught in his throat. On the longest wall of the room was a cherry entertainment center. Their cherry entertainment center. He reached out to touch it, almost tenderly. He tested the doors and draws and shook his head in disbelief. How did he miss this last night? Darren was now more certain than ever that he was doing the right thing.
He gathered an armful of items and made the first of many trips upstairs, hopeful the delivery guys would be here and gone long before he had to leave for his show.
At six everything was ready. He surveyed his work and smiled. Christopher Paul Colfer wasn't going to know what hit him, but he was going to know who loved him. Darren's only regret was that it was that it would probably be another eighteen hours before he could share his feelings and his plans with Chris, but since forever was involved he figured he could wait a day.
~o~0~o~
Chris had not thought this through. Actually he hadn't done much thinking at all today – except to play last night over and over in his head. Everyone at the meeting had just worked around Chris' indifference, but Chris could tell they were surprised that he was not like himself. He finally told them he was feeling under the weather and had excused himself early.
He had sat home for two hours willing Darren to call him. It hadn't worked. None of his friends called when he was in meetings. Why had he made that stupid rule? He finally broke down and called Ashley. He had been such a weepy, whiney fool last night when she was there; he was actually half surprised she picked up.
"I'm thinking 'bout going to Darren's show" Chris blurted out when they connected.
"Why aren't you in your meeting?" Ashley questioned at exactly the same time. They both laughed and Ashley was glad to hear Chris' smile through the line.
"I left early – I wasn't feeling too good." Chris was answering.
"But you feel good enough to go to a club?"
"I'm not that kind of sick, Ashley." Ashley smiled; she couldn't help it. She loved the way Chris, with his lisp, said her name. Over the phone it was even more pronounced: Ax-chley. And so the 'Axe' had been born.
"Listen, Chisel…" she kept trying the nickname out on him but it never stuck, "Everything is gonna be okay."
"You don't know that…"
"– Listen to mama… everything is gonna be okay." Ashley bit her lip hoping she wasn't breaking any promises.
"So what you're telling me is …don't go…"
"Chris, I know you well enough to know that your mind is made up. When you go… at least carry a hoodie… its for your own good."
"…But my hair."
"Chris, I've changed my mind – this is a bad idea …don't go. I'll come over and we can troll… I've got some great new manips to show you…"
"I don't want manips, Axe" Chris sighed "I want the real thing."
" Chris…"
"Yeah?"
"Call me tomorrow and tell me 'bout the show …okay"
" 'Kay. …Thanks Axe. Love you."
" Love you more, Colfer.
~o~0~o~
Getting to the show early had its merits: less crowds, less fans, less chance of getting recognized. He and Darren had discovered long ago that when it came to fans, the two of them might has well have been Siamese twins. Fans always expected to see them together and where often shocked when they were told that the one being questioned had "no idea" where the missing half was.
So, they purposely did not venture out together. They kept their distance at show events and tried not to get photographed standing next to each other. But the irony was, that ninety percent of the time, they each knew precisely where the other was. Even when they were just friends, they knew exactly where the other was in the crowd, often catching each others eyes and sharing knowing smiles.
Chris pulled the hoodie over his head and slipped inside. He figured it was a good two to three hours until Darren came on, but he definitely was not feeling social tonight. At the bar he asked for the manger.
A few moments later someone was tapping on his shoulder while he scanned the menu the bar tender had giving him. "Hi, I'm Matt, may I help you?"
Chris turned to find a much younger guy than he was expecting grinning at him. Chris glanced around, took off his hood and proffered a hand. "Hi, Matt, my name is Chris. I work with Darren. I was hoping to see the show tonight without getting mobbed." It was short sweet and to the point, plus Chris was feeling a little self conscious. "Do you have a V.I.P. section?"
"Well not one where you can see the stage unfortunately. Plus, all our V.I.P. rooms are booked – Darren's kind of a hot commodity right now, you know." Boy did Chris know. Chris started biting on his thumb nail – he hadn't considered this not working out. He chastised himself – that's what happens when you don't think things through.
"Is it just you?"
" 'Cuse me?" Chris was roused from his thoughts.
"Was anyone else from the show coming?"
"No… ah …just me."
Matt thought for a moment. "Okay, I don't usually do this, and the Fire Marshall may have my ass, which he still might tonight, but I've got an idea, follow me."
Matt led him to the side of the bar where there was a narrow staircase. There was a narrow platform at the top. The rigging for the stage lights was a jumbled mess above and around them, but there were two long benches right up front with a clear view of the stage. "I set this up for my nieces, when they come to town, if its cool with you… you're welcome to watch from up here." Chris wanted to kiss the man – but restrained himself. Then he wondered if he should tip him or something.
"Matt, this is perfect, thank you so much."
"No problem, I'll send a waitress up occasionally to see if you need anything. Oh, and if the Fire Marshall shows up I didn't know you were up here – got it?"
"Got it! Can I ask one more small favor?"
"Mmm?"
"Don't tell anyone I'm here."
"Hey – what part of I'm-sorry-Officer-I-didn't-know-there's-a-guy-sitting-up-in-the-rigging didn't you catch?"
"Oh yeah… right… thanks"
"De nada."
And so Chris had two hours alone with his thoughts. He kicked himself for not bringing his lap top – he could have been writing, but then he admitted he was lying to himself if he thought that was gonna happen right now. So he settled on many, many games of Angry Birds and started to eat his feelings – something he has started in high school, but had been very conscious of ever since getting his big break.
~o~0~o~
Darren arrived to venue with time to spare, but he would be lying if he said his energy level was anywhere near where it should be for a gig. He'd had a long day, a long night and day actually, and he was living for tomorrow when he could (hopefully) see Chris. But he refused to let his fans down and so right now Red Bull was his best friend.
Matt came up to him about fifteen mins before he was scheduled to go on stage. "Your boyfriend's here." Darren choked on air and whipped his head toward the manager.
"What did you say?" Darren's pulse had taken residence between his ears.
"I. Said. Your. Boyfriend. Is. Here. From the show. The pretty one" Well, Darren thought, at least he didn't say 'the gay one'. "The gay one, the twink."
A million thoughts and emotions flooded Darren all at once. He would be lying if the first wasn't: OMG Chris Colfer is a twink. I'm in love with a twink But he pushed that thought out of his mind and gave voice to the second one. "Matt, that's rather offensive, he's a Golden Globe winning actor and I could probably think of a million other ways to describe him that have nothing to do with his looks or his sexual preference."
Matt was not about to look this particular gift horse in the mouth. He had a full house out front waiting for Darren and his band, so he decided to back track, quickly. "I'm sorry Darren, that was out of line. … Your …friend …said not to tell anyone he was here, but I don't think that meant you. The V.I.P.s were full so I put him up in the rigging where I have Erika and Melanie sit sometimes. Great view and no crowds, hope you're fine with that, he didn't ask to come back stage."
"Ch-Chris is here?" Darren stuttered.
"Yeah, …Chris, sorry I forgot his name. We cool? I gotta head back our front."
Darren made some kind of non-committed sound and dismissively waved his hand. He was hovering somewhere between not quite ready to let Matt off the hook and kissing him. Chris was here! This changed everything! And all of a sudden he was all hyped up energy and thinking about changing his set list.
~o~0~o~
Two hours, two steak tacos, two shots and two diet Cokes later the chanting had begun below Chris. "Darren. Darren. Darren." And he was actually more excited than nervous for a moment because hell – he was at his very first Darren Criss concert. *insert fangirl, ahem, fanboy, screaming here* He was quite certain he had the best seat in the house. A waitress, named Missy, had been checking on him every half hour or so and the shots along with the buzz of excitement below him had actually taken his mind off of, well …everything.
And then Darren was there, all smiles and gel free curls, cuffed pants and Top-Siders without socks and his standard issue Hanes V-neck undershirt peeking out from under their blue plaid shirt. The noise was deafening – louder than any arena concert Chris had ever attended. As Darren began with Do you think I'm sexy, Chris was relieved to find that the rigging also held speakers as well as lights and during the course of the concert, like when Darren started strumming I still think, he leaned back and let Darren's words wash over him, healing him from the outside in.
But mostly he watched, awestruck and hummed along with the lyrics while Darren charmed his way into everyone's hearts. During Sami he bolted upright. Maybe his ears where deceiving him, but no there it was again.
Sami, Sami
Why can't you see, see see
What you're doing to me?
And Chris heard: Why can't you see, CC What you're doing to me?
He leaned forward and there it was… Darren was looking right at him. Well he couldn't be looking right at him because Chris was behind a huge spotlight, but Darren was definitely looking up toward the rigging there was no mistaking it. Darren knew he was there. He wondered again if it was to forward to kiss Matt-the manager and thank him profusely. Darren knew he was there.
I see you singing on that stage
You look just like an angel
And all I do is pray
Than maybe someday
You'll hear my song
And understand that all along
There's something more that I'm trying to say
When I say…
Darren was in full on stealth-mode. He was gonna tell Chris he loved him as many times as he dared during the concert. A few CC's here and there, once in a while saying he when the line was she. Wrecking is brain for romantic tunes that expressed everything he wanted to say. His breath hitched when he saw an arm hanging from the rigging platform during Sami. He just knew Chris was listening and catching the subtle changes in his lyrics.
~o~0~o~
Mid-way through the set, Darren decided to hell with subtly **. He gave his band a five minute break and sat at the piano. He stripped off the plaid shirt *insert more fangirl, screaming here* and pressed his lips to the mike. "I'd like to play a song that's been bouncing around my head all day. This song was on one of the first albums I ever bought. Back then it didn't mean much to me, but now that I'm older I can really appreciate the lyrics and now I'm just babbling again, so I'm just gonna start playing…"
As two, we can make it through
As long as we stick together
Though the road ahead is rough
Our love will carry us through forever
I know times have changed
And things aren't always what they seem
But baby, let's work as one
Defy our odds to make things better
'Cause I know love is sometimes hard to figure out
But just know, together we can make it through somehow
You're like the sun that sets so far beyond the sea
You're out of reach but trust that we were meant to be
Romeo never felt for Juliet
The way I do …about you
If I'm gonna make it through this life
I gotta hold on tight to me and you
I know the chance we're taking …the sacrifices we're making
Paying our dues to make our dreams come true, ooh
You think true love exists in the minds of only fools
But please don't shut me out 'cause with love there ain't no rules
Oh, …and I know love is so hard to figure out
But just know, together we can make it through somehow
You're like the sun that sets so far beyond the sea
You're out of reach but trust that we were meant to be
Romeo never felt for Juliet
The way I do about you
If I'm gonna make it through this life
I gotta hold on tight to me and you
The crowd had been stunned into silence during song. Darren had put his heart into every line and every chord drifting up from the piano. (YouTube videos would later show that Darren had been silently crying during the last half of the song. The silence had provided the perfect back drop for recording and within twenty-four hours Darren Criss' rendition of Me and You had gone viral in both the video and MP3 version.)
We've got love, so don't let fear stand in its way
All I know is that I am here to stay
So believe in my heart, you will never ever be alone
And just know, you must know we were meant to be
Our love was destiny, baby, just believe
You're like the sun that sets so far beyond the sea
You're out of reach but trust that we were meant to be
And Romeo never felt for Juliet the way I do about you
If I'm gonna make it through this life
I gotta hold on tight, to me and you
Baby, baby, baby, it's, baby, it's me and you
The last notes from the piano hung in the air, the song was over and there was still eerie silence. Darren took their plaid shirt and wiped his face then dared to look up at the rigging. Before he could get to his feet the place had erupted into maniac applause, hoops and hollers and Matt was sure the restaurant next door was certainly dialing the Fire Marshall at this very second. Darren didn't acknowledge the crowd; he just walked off stage.
A few minutes later his band came back, sans Darren. While the guys filled the empty club with riff after riff the whispers grew. Where was Darren? What had happened? Was he coming back? Who was he thinking about while he was singing that song?
Meanwhile Darren was back stage vibrating. He had put his heart on the line, laid it bear for everyone to see. Was this the time to say it? To let everyone know? But he still had to talk to Chris, just to make certain. This was not the time. God how he wished Chris was back stage he could have held him and told him everything he needed to say. Just breathe Darren. Tomorrow will be here some enough. Right now you have a crowd to please. And with that Darren stepped back on stage.
~o~0~o~
Chris was a blubbering mess and Chirs Colfer did not cry, …well except for last night and except for right now. What was happening to him? He thought he had left all his tears in Clovis. Darren Criss had said (sung) everything he had ever dreamed a friend and lover would tell him. And two hundred people had heard it. The girls below had some how knew this song was not for them, this song was Darren's message to someone special. Chris' heart had been in his throat the entire time as the song unfolded in his ears like a rose opening up to expose the most delicate of buds at the core. My god how he wished he was back stage right then, he would have held onto Darren and told him everything he needed to say.
Thunderous applause rang out again, bringing Chris back to the here and now. Darren was back on stage, smiling, sweating, charming. Chris knew he would eventually get his time alone with Darren, but right now, well right now, was for the fans.
The second half of the set was faster, livelier. A little Katy Perry. A little Britney. A little Pink. And a version of Matt Nathanson's Faster that had Chris chair dancing and laughing out loud as Darren wigged his hips on stage while he strummed his guitar.
It's the way you swell slow
Pushing right out of your seams
It's the way you smile, baby
When you've got me on my knees
Your all night noise, your sirens howl
You make my heart beat faster
Chris did not miss Darren's lecherous grin as he got to the second verse, never taking his eyes away from where Chris was sitting. Then Darren whipped his hair, the sweat falling to the stage around him, and Chris, like the hundreds of fangirls below him, was left breathless.
~o~0~o~
Darren took his bow and ran off stage. Grabbing a towel, he absently rubbed his sweat drenched neck and chest and smiled to himself – Chris was right, he did sweat like a maniac. Immediately the doubt crept back into Darren's chest. Did Chris still want him? Had he screwed things up? He wasn't sure but he knew he wouldn't sleep tonight not knowing. He had to see Chris as soon as possible. And he had to make certain Chris would be willing to see him. Without giving himself time to change his mind, he dropped the towel and went back on stage.
The screams were deafening. Darren didn't think he would ever get over the fact that people liked his music enough to scream themselves hoarse for him – but he sure appreciated it when they fed him forgotten lyrics. But the screaming fans, mostly teenagers with fake IDs he was certain, would probably not know the lyrics of the next song. It had come to him in a flash of brilliance and he hoped the lyrics were enough to convince Chris to see him tonight.
Darren took the mike in his hands and began to speak into the shrieking crowd – he was certain the Fire Marshall was going to should up any second. He needed to make the crowd believe he was speaking to them, but his words and the song were intended for one person only.
"Okay, thanks everyone. I'd like to leave you with one last song and one last thought. I just want you to remember everything I do, I do because I care about you. And sometimes you may not understand everything I do, but I swear in the end it will be totally awesome!" Darren smiled at the thunderous applause, but he was not swayed from the true task at hand. He raised his eyes to the back of the club, staring straight into the left spotlight he continued "So have a little faith in me."
The crowd settled as Darren took a seat at the piano bench. He played the song intro a couple times waiting for the crowd and his nervous stomach to settle down. Then he took a deep breath and began:
When the road gets dark
And you can no longer see
Just let my love throw a spark
And have a little faith in me
And when the tears you cry
Are all you can believe
Just give these loving arms a try baby
And have a little faith in me
Have a little faith in me
Have a little faith in me
And when your secret heart
Cannot speak so easily
*whispered* Come here darling, from a whisper start
To have a little faith in me
And when your back's against the wall
Just turn around and you, you will see
I will catch you, I will catch your fall
Just have a little faith in me
Have a little faith in me
Have a little faith in me
Darren forgot his nerves and let the song wash over him. He smiled his 'hundred mega watt smile' remembering the last three weeks and picturing the man who had made them such a joy. He turned and looked up towards the lighting rigging again hoping to catch just a glimpse of movement, to know that Chris was still there and still listening, but not only that, hearing what Darren had to say.
'Cause I've been loving you, for such a long, long time
Expecting nothing in return
Just for you to have a little faith in me
You see time, time is our friend
'Cause for us, there is no end
And all you gotta do, is have a little faith in me
I will hold you up, I will hold you up
And your love, gives me strength enough to
Have a little faith in me
Heeeee-eeey hey
All you gotta do for me Baby
Is have a little faith in me
Darren was certain there was applause, but he could barely hear it over the thundering of his heart and the plans that were racing around his head. He stood up, gave a kiss to the crowd and headed straight for the Mint's back door.
~o~0~o~
Darren needn't worry; Chris was listening, his hopeful heart holding onto every note and every word. He had noticed every glance in his direction. Chris understood that more than one song tonight had been sung just for him and he realized without a shadow of a doubt that no matter what had happened last night he was still madly in love with Darren and that Darren felt the same. In fact, the headache he'd had since crying himself dry last night had actually eased during the show even though the two hundred fan girls below him had never stopped shouting song lyrics and declarations of love (for Darren) all night.
Chris would be lying if he said it didn't make his heart swell a little knowing that Darren had chosen him over everyone else.
A tingle in his hip pocket broke Chris' train of thought. The club was still buzzing and Chris was glad he'd remembered to put his phone on vibrate because he never would have heard it over the crowd. It was probably just Ashley checking on him and he was tempted to ignore the call and just sit back alone with his thoughts for a while until the mass of bodies below him thinned out. Only because he was conscious of the vibration a moment ago did Chris recognize the text alert chime. He opened his phone to find a text from Darren: Meet me in the canyon tonite? Please. – DC
Chris' heart gave a little leap without his consent. He grabbed the railing in front of him and looked down sweeping the crowd for Darren's hazel eyes. Chris' stomach dropped when he did not see a sweaty white T shirt and its tight bodied owner below. He wondered how long it would take him to get out of here unnoticed and make it to the house; unfortunately the crowd did not seem to be thinning out.
Give me 90 mins? – CC Chris typed hoping he would make it on time.
The reply was instantaneous.
See you there! :-D XX – DC The smiley face and kisses (yippee) let Chris know Darren was in a good mood too – and he wrapped his arms around himself trying to hold in the buzz of excitement that was radiating from his stomach. Now it was just a waiting game until he could leave.
~o~0~o~
Darren did not have the luxury of waiting. With one text he had moved his plans up by twelve hours. He fished a list out of his pocket and silently berated himself for not getting more done this afternoon. He grabbed a pen from the cup holder in the center console – CANDLES – he wrote. He needed candles and lots of them. He had never intended on doing this at night, but he would be lying to himself if he said he could wait until morning. So candles it was. Now… where could he get one hundred candles at eleven o'clock at night? He glanced at the list again. CANDLES. FLOWERS. ICE. Darren threw the car into drive, left leg shaking absentmindedly from the nerves he was feeling. For the next ninety minutes Darren was going to be a very busy boy.