Disclaimer: Forgot to do this the last time. Anywho, I don't own Twilight or its character...not even Rosalie's sexy ass!
A/N; Oh wow, thanks so much for all the reviews, favs, and alerts! Didn't really think people would like this too much, but I guess I was wrong. I had a bit of writers block, but I came through and I just hope I didn't disappoint. Please read and review! Oh and you might have noticed the name change...yeah, I think it fits. lmao!
Red-Rum That Shit!
I'm walking with Leah, while my little snufficans, Rosalie, guides us down the hallway towards Alice's room. I know it's a little early for pet names, especially since I still haven't cashed out her coochie coupon yet, but what the hell?
I watch with great pleasure as her ass sways from side to side, and I find myself thinking about all the filthy, degrading, and unforgivable things I going to do to her when she's face down and ass up, because we ARE gonna fuck! And since I've already come to terms with this realization, I think it's time she does the same.
I pull Rosalie to the side and let Leah pass by us into the room, but not before she gives me that "all knowing" grin of her, and I move inward so that my hands rest against the wall on either side of Rosalie's face.
I give her a very so once-over, biting my lips and flashing my "fuck me face" for extra effect.
"Rose, why don't you and I just skip the foreplay shit, because that's basically what it is, and just get down to me pounding that sweet vag of yours?" I'm idly playing with her hair as I say this, and I'm a bit shocked when she gives me a rather seductive look and then leans into my face.
"Bill," she begins in that sinfully, low voice of her, "how many times do I have to tell you that...you will never, ever see, let alone touch this kitty cat. You wanna know why?" She says in a very sweet voice and I decide to go along with her little game and nod my nod. "Because….YOU DON'T HAVE A DICK!"
Dick? She wants a dick? Okay, well I'll give her a dick!
I brought my index finger up towards our faces and started flexing it.
"See now, that's where your wrong, Rosalie. I have a dick, and it's the only dick you'll ever need, Isn't that right, Bella Jr.?" I broke out into my weird gremlin voice and started impersonating that weird kid off of The shining.
"Bella Jr…. don't you think Rosalie should let us RED-RUM that sweet kitty of hers?" I asked to my finger, wiggling it for effect.
"Yes, she should totally let us RED-RUM that shit!
"You are such a fuckin freak!" She pushed me aside and I couldn't help but grin when I got a free feel of those boobies!
"Not that I'm complaining, but wont we get in trouble if your mom finds out that we're not working?"
Alice waves her hands dismissively. "Oh please! The only thing she's worried about is Emmet's dick going down her throat. She's got dick on her brain, so she probably wouldn't recognize me or Rosalie, let alone worry about you guys doing your job."
"Yeah, Emmet's probably so far down her throat, he could probably feel her lugs right now! Trust me, it's impossible for her to think clearly when it comes to Emmet. Rosalie was filing her nails as if it wasn't a big deal.
"So, you guys know about that, huh?"
"pfft! I'm pretty sure everyone knows by now, even Carlisle, but he's not gonna say anything since he's doing the same thing. Last week I caught him slipping condoms in his work bag. He's probably fucking that one nurse, what's her face…Victoria!" I looked at Alice like she was crazy, 'cause that shit was fuckin crazy!
"Nuh uh! Carlisle? Really? I'm not buying it. I mean, he's just so…so…so whipped!"
Rosalie let out an obnoxious snort. " I don't know why you're so surprised? He's a guy... and he has a dick….you do the math."
I sighed, I already knew where this was going, and I really want to avoid this whole conversation like the fuckin herpes! Ever since Mike-fuckin-Newton cheated on her with her skanky "best friend," Jessica Stanly, she has it in her head that all men cheat, and most of them do…but not all of them. I guess I should thank him though, because she'll be mine soon enough.
"Look, I'm just saying that it's a shocker…this is like Desperate House Wives or some type of Soup Opera bullshit! I wouldn't be too surprised if you told me that everyone in this whole community was just fucking each other."
"Pretty much." I furrowed my eyebrows at Alice in slight disgust. I'll admit that I get around when it comes to sex, but this shit right here is just fucking ridiculous!
"Ya know what? You rich people are on some really fucked up and twisted shit…fuckin weirdo's!"
"Whatever, can we just get on with this stupid game!"
"Oh? In a hurry to get fucked are we, Rosalie?" She flipped me off, so I grinned arrogantly. "Well, that's what I've been tryna do, but you're making it so hard for me and Bella Jr." I love torturing her!
"You're a dick!"
"Yeah and you're a fuck-me-tease!"
"That doesn't even make any sense!"
"Doesn't have to… I'm totally fuckin awesome!"
"If you two are done, then we'll begin our little game!"
"Oh yes, please do! The sooner we get started then the sooner I'll have Rosalie screaming my name."
And cue the fuck me smirk!
Alice went over the rules, to which I half listened to because I was too focused on Rosalie's legs to really give a shit about what she was saying. Yeah, those same legs that are gonna be hauled over my shoulder, twitching and shaking as I make her cum!
Well, some of the rules that I did gather from her little rant were….
Rule#1: You get one free pass.
Rule#2: If you refuse a dare after you've already used your free pass, you automatically have to do two dares.
Rule#3: If you lie, you automatically have to do two dares. And trust me, we've known each other long enough to know when someone's lying.
And Rule#4: Just have some fun!
We played a couple rounds of Rock, Paper, Scissors to see how the order would go. Alice would be first, Leah would go second, Rosalie was third and I was last.
"Leah, truth or dare? They are so typical! Leah had this really big, dumb grin on her face, which Alice mirrored and I just laughed at how obvious they were being.
"Um…dare!"
"Okay, I dare you to….kiss me!" I let out a snort; they were being ridiculous, but it was still cute.
Leah leaned forwards on her knees until she was a few inches away from Alice, and if it were possible, it seemed as though their grins got even wider. The kiss was innocent at first but it soon escalated into a full blown, lip smacking, flesh groping, tongue fucking make out session.
"Okayyyy! You said kiss, not tongue fuck each other!" I look towards Rosalie, who seems a bit flustered by the whole thing, but I on the other hand, am quite enjoying the scene.
They finally pull apart with a wet "smack" and I inwardly cringe at the sight of drool dangling from their mouths…. Sick shit!
Leah went on and dared Alice to give her a lap dance, which she happily complied and I was getting rather bored by this elementary bullshit. I mean, we just started playing and I already want it to be over with. So as Alice hopped onto Leah lap, I excused myself to the liquor cabinet and took a couple of shots of some unknown Vodka and brought the rest back with me; it was Rose's turn by the time I returned to my spot.
"What do you think you're doin?" The ever so insightful Rosalie asked.
"What does it look like, wonder tits? I'm havin a drink!"
"Yeah, I know that smart ass, the question is why!"
"Why? Because this game is fuckin lame! At least it'll be somewhat entertaining if I'm drunk!"
"Its lame, huh? Okay, truth or dare, Bella?" I raised my eyebrows questionably. Was she really tryna challenge me?
"Dare….and you better make it good."
"I dare you to go down to Edwards room, ass naked and ask if you can join in."
I sighed inwardly. This was the best that she could come up with? It's not a bad dare, but it aint a good one either. I was hoping she'd dare me to fuck her, but that's all in good time.
"Okay." I looked her straight in the eyes, dropped my shorts and underwear, earning two giggles and a gasp , and then took off my bra. Rosalie's eyes were wide as she stared at me appreciatively.
"See something you like, Rosalie?"
"No!"
"Look, we don't have to keep playin these little games…..If you wanted to get me naked, all you had to was say the word and I could've been two knuckles deep right now."
"Whatever! Just do the damn dare!"
I'm walking down the hallway, naked as the day I was born, open Edwards door and literally threw up in my mouth. Edward's bent over the bed, wide open, while Jasper positions himself at his entrance. Edward's all too eager for that cock!
I swallow that piece of regurgitated hamburger and clear my throat.
"So, room for one more?" I gave a lopsided grin, while my hands are on my hips. It was then that I realized just how unbelievable gay Edward is. He honors me with the gayest pose I have ever seen. He puts the back of his hand on his forehead, while he shifts onto his left side and squeals like the fuckin Twinkie that he is; Jasper throws whatever he could find and I take that as my sign to retreat.
"Was that Edward screaming?" Alice asks as I sit down.
"Yeah, and let me just say that that boy is a fucking cock pirate!" Everyone starts to laugh, but it soon turns deathly quiet, well until Miss CUNT TEASER decides to speak.
"Don't you think you should put your clothes back on?"
"Don't you think you should take yours off?" After receiving a rather fierce glare from Cuntalie, I decide to be nice and put my clothes back on.
"So, who's turn is it?"
"Its actually your turn, Bella. I turn towards Leah and flash a wicked smile. I already know who I'm gonna choose.
Hmm, who should I choose as my victim? Oh, I know!
"So, Rosalie," I begin slowly, tapping my finger against my chin, "What's it gonna be…. Truth or dare?"
I see her squirming in her seat as I smirk at her.
"Truth!" I shake my head at how predictable she is.
"Always playing it safe, huh? Alright, is it true you think about me while touching yourself?" I can hear Alice and Leah giggling, while Rosalie looks at me like I just told her to lick my ass, which doesn't sound too bad. "Oh, and you might want to really think about your answer 'cause in case you've forgotten, that's two dares if you lie."
I watch as she debates this information, and I have to say that I'm not too surprised by her answer.
"No!"
"You're lying."
"And how would you know?"
"Because I can see it; it's written all over your face….AND Alice told me."
Alright, so Alice didn't actually tell me that, but I just wanted to see what was gonna happen…and Rosalie didn't disappoint.
"You told her, Alice? That was supposed to be between you and me!" She was trying to whisper but I caught all of it.
"Ah ha! So you admit it?"
"What? No! That's not fair, you guys tricked me!"
"Nuh uh, you should have told the truth. Besides, all fair in love in war baby! Let's see, I believe that's tow dares?" Everyone nods their heads except for Rosalie; she just sighs and runs her hands over her face.
"You know what, Rosalie? I'm gonna make it easy for you. I'm gonna let Leah and Alice choose your dares." She visibly relaxes until she finds out what Leah and Alice have in store for her.
"YOU WANT ME TO DO WHAT!"
"I said, I want you to masturbate...right in front of Bella." Alice says nonchalantly.
"BU T," Leah continues, "I'm gonna walk you through it...AND you have to do whatever I say." And people thought I was ruthless? I mean, I was just gonna tell her to flash a boob or something, but this?
"Now, walk over to the bed, Rose, and lay down." Leah commands, and Rosalie hesitantly complies.
"Okay, Bella, I want you to do the same, but I want you to lay so that your front is pressed against her left side." She don't have to tell me twice! I lye next to her, and she gives me her signature glare, so I smirk.
"Can you not look at me like that, it's making me uncomfortable."
"Well, would you rather me stare at your tits, or how bout that vertical smile of yours?"
"God, I fuckin hate you!"
"Oh you love me and you know it!"
"Bella, I want you to take Rosalie's hand and slowly guide into her panties."
"Whoa, you said nothing about her touching me! I refuse to do it now!"
"If you refuse then you'll have to do two more dares, so the choice is yours." Alice flashes a triumphant smile as Rosalie huffs in frustration.
"Fine, but this better not leave this room!"
That's gonna be kind of hard since you're gonna be screaming my name!
I place my left hand on top of hers, and slowly start descending until our hands disappear under her skirt. Her stomach muscles twitch, chest heaves and I try to swallow that permanent lump in my throat as I "accidently" graze her soft flesh. And I'm SO glad she doesn't have a freakin Chewbacca down there! I think I feel a little Hitler goin on, but I'm not too sure.
"Okay, now slowly guide your hands in a gentle rhythm."
I did as I was told and started moving our hands. My hands slip occasionally, causing a sharp gasp from Rosalie, so I decide to test the waters a bit; I move her hand so that I'm fully cupping her. She tenses up a bit, but doesn't pull away, so ima just take that as the go-ahead.
I tease her a bit, tracing my finger over her opening, which earns me a soft moan, and her thighs clamp down on my hand.
"Somebody's enjoying themselves." I state arrogantly while sucking on her neck. "I told you I was gonna fuck you, Rosalie...you should have just let me do it sooner." I whisper into her ear before taking it into my mouth.
"Shut the hell AHHH!"
She's screaming and talking shit, so I'll just have to put her in her place. I shift so that I'm between her legs, being careful not to break contact, and once I'm settled I ease into her; I almost jizzed my pants when I realize just how wet she is.
"Um, I don't think they're listening to me, Alice." I can faintly hear Alice and Leah talking, but I'm way too focused on Rose to actually care.
As I slowly slide in and out of her, two things happen. 1: I jizzed my pants for the second time, and 2: The word to Ludacris' Ultimate Satisfaction Pops into my head.
I'm a giver; I like to give rather than receive. I get off on that shit! Don't get me wrong, I like getting pleasure too, but its somethin about having someone scream and writhe under me that just gives me ULTIMATE SATISFACTION.
I sometimes like to think of Rosalie as an Uncircumcised dick; you have to pull back several layers of skin just to see what's really underneath. So when I pulled back that extra layer of skin, for the for the first time I saw her for who she really was; a freakin sexy ass animal! And with that last thought in mind, I decide to renounce all my control; I start Red-Rumin that shit!
I pound into her, two knuckles deep and watch as she bucks her hips, clutches the sheets and bites her lip; I've never seen anything so fuckin hot in my life!
I move closer to say something arrogant, but she anticipates this and grabs my face, crushing our lips together. It shocks the hell out of me, but I can't think too much into it because she's tryna fight for dominance...and we can't have that now, can we!
I keep a steady pace, and I make sure to curl my fingers every time I hit that spongy patch, making her twitch uncontrollably.
Man, if I would have known this was the result of playing truth or dare, I would have played ALONG time ago!
She whimpers into my mouth, and I feel her walls contracting around my fingers as I devour her face. And just when I feel her about to let go, fuckin flick-a-dick, Edward and his little butt buddy, Jasper comes bolting through the door. And I knew...I just fuckin knew Rosalie was gonna flip out, and she did.
You remember what I said about her being an uncircumcised dick? Yeah, that what she did. She pulled that layer of skin back into its place, effectively putting that mask back up...and what a bitch! She pushes me off of her and runs straight out the door.
"What the hell's going on here!"
"WELL, I was about to make her cum, but since you HAD to interrupt and just HAD to be a fuckin dick-bandit, you just completely fucking ruined that for me...YOU JUST RUINED MY FUCKIN NUT!"
I shove pass him and run after Rosalie, because I know she's freaking- the fuck out right now.
"Rose, wait up!" She's just about to run out the back door towards the garden, but I stop her halfway.
"What? What are you crying for?"
"Because he just...he just saw that...what we just did." Her cheeks were a bit red, which I can only assume is out of embarrassment.
"So what if he saw us, you liked it, right?"
She wouldn't look at me, so I brought my hand up towards her chin in an attempt to get her attention, but she flinched away.
"I'm not gay...I don't like girls!"
"Well, you could've fooled me. Seems like you were liking that quite a bit!"
"I didn't like it, and I don't fuckin like you!"
Okay, she's really pissing me off right now! She's tryna act like she didn't like it and for what! Because of that dick diver!
"You're un-fuckin-believable! You're so worried about what other people think, that you can't even see what's in front of you! What? You're scared that he's gonna tell your skanky best friend or maybe Mike? They don't even give a shit about you! They're WAY to busy fucking each other to care! I'm not even gonna worry about it. Ima just do me and let you be the fuckin bitch that you are!"
Yeah, this is the main reason why I hate dealing with "confused" people; they never know what the fuck they want.
A/N: If you haven't already guess, Red-Rum means murder backwards. Yeah, I was watching The Shining...that movie is freakin weird!
I also I got that Chewbacca and Hitler reference from Sex-Drive...that movie is fuckin AWESOME!