A/N: Okay, I would like to say that I was highly pissed off when I wrote this, so there are a lot of f-bombs, bitches and anything else you can imagine in this chapter. My shitty mood revolves around a shitty ass computer, which crashed a few days ago, wiping out all my shit..fuckin bitch! It also revolves around my irritating family and my ex, who doesn't seem to understand that I'm done with her bullshit...so I would really appreciate it if everyone who reads this chapter leaves a review. I don't care if it's one word or 100, just please leave something..It really makes me happy and I need that right now.

Fuckin Slore Bag!

You wanna know who's a waste of a perfectly good face and body? Megan Fox, that's who! I cant stand that slore! I mean yeah, she's hot and I definitely wouldnt mind seeing if i can fit them jeans, but she's a total fucking cunt..and not in a good way. She's also a bitch and that makes her fugley as hell, which is a turn off, just like that bitch Cuntalie!

"Ugh! Fucking cunt-mangling whore!" Yeah, thats pretty much all thats been running through my mind right now. Its been like two hours since our little incident, and Rosalie has practically hauled herself up in her room. She did come down for something to drink, but she totally ignored me. Since then, I've been sitting in the servants courters or as I like to call it, the "slave " courters, which consists of Leah, Alice and myself at the moment.

"Bella, you really need to calm down. If its bothering you that much, then maybe you should just go talk to her?" Was Leah serious?

"Her? Man, I don't know what you're talking about."

"Really Bella? You're really gonna act like you weren't just fuming over Rosalie? Its written all over your face; not only that, but you've looked through that Us magazine like ten times... .AND its has Megan Fox on it. YOU HATE MEGAN FOX!"

I thought about protesting, telling her that she was wrong, but my thoughts were cut short when Emmet came barging in with a big fuckin "I Just got fucked, and I got fucked good!" grin. He didn't know it, but that stupid grin just added fuel to the fire.

"Oh, well look who decided to show his fuckin smug little face! Mr. "I want to get my rocks off for four hours straight, while my dear sisters slave all god-damn day! THAT'S REAL FUCKED UP WIT YOU'S!"

"Whoa, what the hell did I just miss?" He asked, putting his hands up in mock surrender.

"Rosalie," Leah states nonchalantly as I glare at her. "She totally pulled a Broke Back Mountain on Bella earlier."

"What, she took it up the ass from a cowboy?"

"What! No, you idiot!" She sighs and shakes her head. "You remember the part right after they fuck for the first time, and Heath's looking all disgusted with himself and Jake tries to comfort him, but Heath flips out and punches the shit out of him?" Emmet nods his head dumbly. "That's kind of what happen, but minus the punch."

"Ah, I see."

"Yeah, so now Bella's all pissed off because she really like Rosalie, even though she won't say it."

"Mannn...FUCK THAT BITCH! I DONT GIVE A SHIT ABOUT THAT HOE! SHE CAN SUCK ON MY NON-EXISTANT RIGHT NUT SACK!

"Wow Bells, don't you think that you're taking it a little too deep? Maybe you should just go..."

"-No! You gets no say in this! Why don't YOU..just go do us all a big favor and go back to Cougar-cunt, and just let me dwell on my own problem?"

"WELL, maybe I WILL!

"GOOD!"

"FUCKIN GREAT!"

"FAN-FUCKIN-TASTIC!"

"TOTALLY FUCKIN AWESOME!" He replies, putting his hands on his hips and wiggling his head with each word; he was looking so stupendously gay. I couldn't do anything but laugh, which ultimately led to everyone else laughing.

"God, I fuckin hate you Emm...you always know how to make me feel better."

"Awe, and I love you too, honeybunz! And it's what I do best!" "So, what are you guys getting into tonight?"

Hopefully Rosalie face! Whoa, where the fuck did that just come from?

They were all looking at me expectantly, well Alice and Emmet were, but Leah had an amused look on her face; almost like she knew what I was thinking.

"Well, I was thinking about going to see Ang but..." The lyrics to "she said" by young Ray, blasted through my cell phone speakers, signaling Angeles Call. "Speak of the devil herself."

"Angela! How are you? We were just talking about you, that's so weird."

"Hey Bella! Um, I'm good and I was just thinking about you too, which is why I called you...and yeah!" Her voice is shy and timid, which only adds to her charm.

Angela is my best friend, well besides Leah of course, but she doesn't count because she more like a sister. Anyway, I've had a major crush on her since high school, and we've been off and on since then. I treat her WAY differently then I would compared to some random chick, but I not gonna lie and say that I don't want to get into her panties, 'cause I do. She not like other girls and I refuse to treat her as such, which is why I'm not gonna force anything. She does have a boyfriend, but that's not gonna stop me, 'cause he's a total douche bag!

"So, did you still want me to come see you tonight?"

"Yes of course, but I was thinking we could maybe go out instead? There's this party a few blocks from my apartment and Jake invited me; you remember Jake, right?"

Oh, I remember that freaking sasquatch! I met him in high school and we dating for like a week; this was during my "confused" stage. Jake was thirsty. He would always try to get in my pants, and I did give him a hand job once just to make him shut up, and let me tell you...I know they make chap-stick for lips, but somebody needs to invent some chap-stick for dicks. I never knew a dick could be ashy but his shit had my hands chaffing!

"Yeah, I remember him. He still rocking that long ass Fabio dew?"

She makes this weird wheezing sound, which only means she's laughing. "No, I think he finally got tired of being mistaken him for a girl, so he cut." " The party starts around 8ish, but I probably won't be there until 9; I told Lauren I'd cover for her at work."

"Alright, well ill call you later." We said our goodbyes, and I was once agian met with several expectant looks.

"So, you guy's wanna go to a party?"

Fuck, that's all I can say is fuck! The plan was to only take Leah, Alice and myself, but somehow we ended up with three extra people, whom I don't feel like being bothered with.

In between the past two hours, Alice begged to me to allow Rosalie to come along. Of course my first answer was no, but she hit me with the "puppy-dog pout" and promised me some boob action later on. How could I refuse an offer like that?

Then somehow, Edward overheard our plans and pretty much threatened my job if I didn't let him or his little ass-master come too. Emmet said he'd cover for us by keeping Mrs. Cullen preoccupied with his dick..not like he was complaining.

We're all posted in my Blazer right now. Alice and Leah are in the back seat, while Jasper and Edward took the trunk, and of course, Rosalie just had to have the passenger seat. She keeps glaring at me every now and then, and that shit is really getting old! I mean if she's got something to say, then fuckin say that shit. But it better be something good, 'cause I swear if she says anything negative towards me, Ima use this fist to straighten out whatever confusion she thinks she has! Fuckin bitch! I can't lie though, she is looking mighty fine right now. She has on this tight little slutty orange dress that has a slit going up the thigh. God, I want to taste those pumpkin tits! I'm imaging all the things I could do to her right now, and I can feel myself salivating at how magically delicious she probably tastes.

I shake those thoughts out of my head and look in the rear view mirror, only to shake my head. Alice is practically dry humping the shit out of Leah leg, while Leah whispers things into her ear; things that would probably scare the crap at out a kid and even me. I can't help feeling a little jealous at how openly affectionate they are, and I'm starting to wonder why Edward still hasn't tried to twat block Leah yet. Speaking of the little tinkle fairy, he and Jasper are talking animatedly, flicking their wrist every once in a while; those two gossip more than two old ass broads.

I'm definitely gonna need a little pick me up if I'm gonna have to deal with this shit for the next couple of hours. So with that thought in mind, I take a little detour.

"Um, this doesn't look like a party to me, it looks like squalor filth!" I really hate when snobby little rich kids try to get all uppity and basically put other people down. Just because they're wealthy, they automatically assume they're superior? Well FUUCKKKK YOU!

"That's because it's not, you pompous jack-ass! My throat itches so I need to stop by the 'pharmacy' and get some 'medicine.'

"But there's no stores around here, it's just filth." Edward is really pissing me off right now!

"Its not some ordinary 'Pharmacy,' its special."

"She going to go get drugs, Edward." Rosalie says matter-of-factly, annoyance evident in her features; that glare working overtime.

"What! I'm not going to be some type of delinquent with you...be a hooligan on your own time!"

"Look, Cock-ward! If I gotta deal with you, your little cock-muncher, and your fuckin thundercunt of a sister over here, then I'm gonna need something to mellow me the fuck out! So if you or anyone else don't like it, you can either get out and risk getting rape by a gang of dudes, which you'd probably enjoy Edward, or you can shut the hell up! It's your choice."

Complete utter silence.

"That's what I thought." I parked the car on the a familiar street and flashed my head light twice. I could see Paul, my dealer, in the distance nodding his head, so I took that as my signal.

"Alright look, I'm gonna go get this medicine real quick, so just stay here and don't say or do anything. Leah, you might want to take the wheel just in case." Everyone except for Leah looked at me like I was crazy.

"Wait, what the hell do you mean 'just in case'! What the fuck type of shit is this!" I really wish Edward would learn to shut his cock-filled mouth, he's spraying semen everywhere!

"Just chill, I got this." I closed the door and made my way towards Paul.

Paul is massive. He looks like a freaking man-bear or some shit, but looks are deceiving. Paul thinks he's a "gangsta," but in reality, he just as soft as Rosalie's tits. He's a baby gangster, or a wannabe, who apart of some bullshit gang called "The Wolf Pack." Sounds like some wack shit to me. In all honesty, he just Sam's little lap puppy; Sam is the leader and Paul will do anything that guy says.

"Hey Paulie!"

"What the fuck are you doing here, Swan!"

"Oh come on now, is that any way to talk to your favorite customer?"

"Pfft, Swan you're lucky I drop you where you stand right now, especially after that shit you pulled with Maria!"

Ah yes, Maria. Maria is ...well... a hoe, and his girlfriend. Everyone around here that knows her, has had her, except for me and Leah, of course. Well, I almost had sex with her this one time, but luckily I chose not to ignored the overwhelming smell of Red lobster emanating from between her legs. I should've slapped that bitch for even trying to pull some shit like that with me, knowing that her vag was a freaking sea habitat! I mean, that bitch needs to walk, jog, sprint, and just flat out run to the clinic and get her shit taking care of! I don't know what she told Paul, but ever since then, he just gives me trouble. The worst part is that Paul is in denial of the fact that she's a hoe. You can't turn no hoe into a house wife, and the fact that he's cuffin that bitch just makes me want to throw up! You can't tell me that she hasn't giving him some type of disease. Hell. I wouldn't be surprised if he was burning as we speak.

"First of all, Paul you're not a gangsta so just stop. You're a baby gangsta, and as far as Maria goes? Yeah, she's a set out, and I never touched that shit. Now your boys are a different story; they're probably hitting that shit right now as we speak. Oh and you might want to tell her to invest in some Summer Eve, Vagisil, Monistat, and anything else she can find."

"What he fuck did you just say to me!" What the fuck did I just say to him? I thought I was pretty damn clear!

"Nothing Paul, absolutely nothing. Now, ya think I could get some that lovely product you just so happen to have in your back pocket?"

"sixty, straight up."

"Sixty? What the hell happened to the thirty!"

"You fuckin my girlfriend, that's what happened!" Wow, he really showed me, didn't he? Idiot!

"Look man, I told you nothing happened a million times already, but if you're really gonna act like an ass...then here, here's your stupid money!" He gave a shitty little smirk and reached into his back pocket. My eyes lit up with childlike wander as I gazed at that magic sack. He was just about to hand it to me when something behind me caught his eye. His face twisted in anger and I just prayed that it wasn't what I thought it was.

What the fuck is taking so long, Bill!" You're kidding me, right? Did this bitch really just get out of the car when I made it quite clear to do the opposite? WHAT THE FUCK... AND WHERE THE FUCK IS LEAH!

There's one thing you should know about Paul and just drug dealers in general...THAY DONT TAKE TOO KINDLY TO STRANGERS! Its taboo to them; they automatically assume that the stranger is a cop. This whole situation just looks bad on my part; he already doesn't like me and this just gave him all the more reason to hate.

"Bill, I really don't like this place, its creepy and there's no cops around..." PAUSE! She just made another big no-no. You never EVER mention the word cop to a dealer, unless you have a death wish.

I met Paul's gaze and the look on his face just told me that I'm screwed.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS!" Oh boy, Paul is in his "gangster" mode, which only means he's gonna do something reckless. Sure enough, his hands start reaching for something silver tucked under his shirt, making me shake in anticipation of the worst.

There's a squeal from behind me and I can feel Rosalie grasping for my arm as he lazily points the gun between the two of us. In the back of my mind, I'm praying that Leah has the trunk running.

"Okay, I know what this looks like Paul but..."

"Oh you do, huh? Well why don't you tell me, 'cause it looks like some pig shit to me! I fuckin knew you were suspect...and you just gave me permission to use this."

"Whoa whoa, Paul, just relax man, this ridiculous..you know me, just calm down, okay?

"Fuck that!" He cocks the gun, and it was then that I realize that he's dead serious and that I really need to think of something...and fast!

"Alright man, its chill...just give me my stuff and we'll be on our way. You'll never have to see or talk to me again."

"Your stuff? I don't think you really comprehend the situation here...I have the gun, so that means I have the power, which also means that I have your dough and that I'm keeping it. And you'll be on your way right now homie, unless you want your little pig buddies at the station to receive a call about a 187...'cause I'll be more than happy to oblige."

Okay, I know what I'm about to is probably stupid, but I never said that I'm a smart person.

"Ya know, that sounds all well and dandy, but I paid good money, Paul... and I'm not leaving until I get it back or get my weed..it's your choice."

"WHAT! BELLA HE'S GIVING US A FREE PASS AND ALL YOU CAN THINK ABOUT IS MONEY...AND..AND WEED!" WHAT THEHELL!

"You must be really brave or just really stupid to even suggest such a thing to me. BUT, I'll tell you what, I might reconsider your offer right after the two of you get on your knees and suck my dick!"

That immediately scared Rosalie, but I on the other hand was PISSED! Not only did he just suggest such an atrocity to me, but he had to nerve to say to Rosalie? Oh hell no! Only I can say shit like that to her!

I pursed my lips and made a "clicking" sound with my tongue, before peering at Rosalie with an arched eyebrow; she looked scared out of her mind. And then I thought back on his words.

I'm a very passive person. I let a lot of bullshit slide most of the time, So derogatory things like certain name calling doesn't bother me. You can call me bitch, slut, hoe, cunt, anything, and It won't bother me in the slightest. But the one thing you never EVER do is tell me to suck your dick. That's a big no-no and little baby gangster, Elian Gonzalez needed to learn that the hard way.

"Hmm, suck your dick, huh?" He nodding his head, smirking all the while, but soon that smirk turned into a grimace because I totally just Jet Li'd his balls. And I couldn't just NOT say anything awesome...so I did.

"No, you smoke on my dick bitch, and you better not fuckin choke!"

Awesome, right?

I picked up the gun and through in across the street, and then calmly took the weed and the cash before making my way back to the truck. I was halfway there when Leah started shouted , so I turned around and it was like somebody flicked the lights on and dozens of little cockroaches just came out the wood-works, but these weren't cockroaches, they were men..ANGRY MEN. Then shots were fired, so I kicked it into high gear and got the hell out of there. Leah met us half way and I immediately jumped into the trunk as it skidded off. The pack were still firing shots but due to their poor aim, They only managed to hit my side view mirror.

The next few minutes consisted of random screaming and yelling.

"HOLY FUCKING FUCK BALLS! THAT WAS AWESOME!" I wasn't too surprised by Alice' exclamation, but of course, Rosalie just HAD to rain on her parade.

"Alice, how the fuck was that awesome! WE COULD HAVE BEEN KILLED!"

"Oh please Cuntalie, they couldn't have killed us even if we were still in front of them. Firkin live a little for once. They're not tripping off of it, so why should you? Besides, it was a nice cardio, right? Ya know, all that running and whatnot?"

"You are so fucked up! Do you care about anyone but yourself?"

Oh no she didn't! Was this bitch serious? Did she really just try to call ME selfish! Oh ho ho, it's time for a fuckin wake up call!

"Really Rosalie? Did you really just say some shit like that to me? I'm a little confused 'cause I could have sworn I just told SOMEBODY earlier, that I basically liked them, but NO...THEY HAD TO GET ALL UPPITY AND SHIT!

"Oh don't even go there, Bella, because you know that has nothing to do with this!"

"Oh but it does Rosalie. The fact that we were even in that situation is YOUR fault. YOU'RE the reason why I feel like I need this shit!" I reply, pointed to the bag of weed in my lap. " YOU'RE the reason why my heads all fucked up and why I can't stop thinking about you! You want to know one of the thoughts running through my mind when Paul pulled out that gun? YOU! You were the main thought for the past six hours just like you're the main thought now!"

"That's funny, because I could have sworn your main thought was on weed.

"Okay, so I was thinking about getting geeked, BUT I was also thinking about you!...you're the main thought.. you're ALWAYS the main thought!

She's quite now, probably feeling a little overwhelmed, which is understandable.

" If you were REALLY thinking about me back there, then you would have also thought about the consequences of your actions AND you wouldn't have put me in danger like that!"

"OKAY, I fucked up, I get that. I know it was stupid for me to do that, and I realize that I could have been killed and that Paul probably won't hesitate to kill me IF he sees me again..I GET IT, but do you understand where I coming from? Do you realize how much your face torments in every possible way.. to the point where I need to smoke just to have a moment of clarity? I fuckin like you and I know you feel the same way; you're just too uptight to admit it."

"OMG, this is WAY better than the Young and the Restless!"chug-a dick Edward exclaimed, clapping his hands like a child.

"I'm not uptight and I DONT LIKE YOU!"

"Oh my god, why can't you just be honest with yourself for once!"

"I am being Honest! I don't fucking like you! You're immature, a total perv, a slut and a whore!"

"Hey now, I resent that whore comment! I might be a slut but I'm not a whore!" She gave me an annoyed look, so I just shrugged my shoulders.

"See, that's what I mean..you're so immature! And you're beneath me...what could you possible provide for me, Bella... that I don't already have?"

I just knew I looked like I got bitch slapped in the face.

"So that's it, huh? You won't give me a chance because you think I can't "provide" for you?" I couldn't believe what I just heard. "Wow Rosalie, I knew you were a cunt, but now you're just a gold digging cunt." I could feel the anger rising within me with each passing moment. "I sit here and tell you how I feel, and you just spit in my face with the whole "you're beneath" crap! WELL FUCK YOU TOO! No, ya know what? I'm gonna make that a BIG fuck you by giving you TWO middle fingers!

"Um Bella, maybe we should all calm down, yeah?

"Oh, I'm perfectly fuckin chill, Leah!" I really tried to calm down, but this bitch really went overboard.

"You know, Rosalie? Just scratch everything I said about you, 'cause I don't even know why I like you. At first I thought maybe it was the pussy...maybe if I actually fucked you, you'd get that stick out your ass and stopped being so uptight! But I was wrong, and ya know, your pussy wasn't that great either! It's just like you..a fuckin parasite! It just engulfs and sucks the life right out of you! YOU HAVE A VAMP PUSSY, THAT WHAT YOU HAVE!" I'm pretty sure everyone's looking at me like I lost my mind but I don't care, this bitch has to pay! "No, no, no, you know what it reminds me of? That one movie...uh uh..what's the name of that movie ,Leah? The one about the killer vagina." I started snapping my finger in recollection.

"Um, teeth?"

"-Yeah, that's it..teeth! You have a killer vagina that won't stop until it just kills everything in its path!

Okay, so maybe the whole "killer vagina" was a bit over the top, but I couldn't think of anything else at the time.

My anger had me doing about 75mph, so I wasn't too shocked when I realized that we finally made it to our initial destination.

"I totally see why Mike cheated on you, 'cause you a fuckin bitch!

SLAP!

I should have already seen the slap coming, but my anger had blinded me, so when her palm connected with the side of my face, I was a bit stunned along with Leah and the others.

"How dare you! You don't fuckin know me or what I've been through! You're such a jerk!" She's crying her little crocodile tears, like I'm supposed to care or some shit. Sorry sweetheart, but I don't.

I nodded my head and pursed my lips."That slap might have ACTUALLY stung..just a little bit, IF I actually gave a shit about you, but I don't! And I know you VERY well, Rosalie. I know that you're a selfish, self-absorbed, cunt teasing little bitch that goes around spending her daddy's hard earned money...why don't you do something with your life, instead of mooching off of other people? YOU PATHETIC SACK OF SHIT!"

And with that said, I climbed out of the truck and left her sitting there looking like a fucking idiot.

A/N: Alright, I'd like to apologize if I've offended anyone with the many gay jokes that were aim at Edward. I don't know why it would offend anyone, but I just decided to say it anyway. And I utterly despise Edward, so he will be receiving any and all cock and ball jokes. I would also like to apologize for the Elian Gonzalez comment, no harm intended, but my friend and I were just talking about him and I was like, "what the hell ever happened to that kid?"

I've been getting some random PMs from some of my readers about this story, telling me about their weird eating habits or just weird ass family. Some of them were pretty hilarious and some were just..well weird, but still, I totally encourage you guys to PM me whatever messed up story you have. I'm all about funniness over here, so please feel free to entertain me.

I would basically like to reiterate what one of my readers said in a review. This ish would never ever happen..it's just a silly ass story, so please don't take it seriously...it's all in good fun people and thank you for the review Me. I'm happy I can provide you with weird entertainment. And that goes for everybody reading this...THANKYOU!

"She said" is a song by Young Ray, its old but it's kind of funny. Oh, and I don't own that shit!

Slore=slut +whore

Geeked= slang for high, basically you're tweaking

That whole "red lobster" incident is true. My guy-friend told me he was about to do some random chick, but he pulled down her panties and said that he smelled Joes Crab Shack and replied, "Bitch, fuck taking a stroll down Summer's Eve, run yo ass to the clinic and fix that shit!" It was probably one of the funniest things I've heard.

And yes, I honestly can't stand Megan Fox! She's hot and I would totally demolish that shit, but she's a bitch for no apparent reason and it's a turn off. I remember watching some late night show with her and Seth Rogen, and she just acted like a major bitch to him. I don't like that shit!