A/N: I'm not sure if I'll have time to update as I'm fighting off demons for the five months of Hell on Earth after today (since there is no way I'm going to heaven. Possibly because of this chapter), so I thought I would update now. Have a fun apocalypse!
A/N: You guys are gonna hate me so much...please review, though, even if they are complaining. Oh, and a quick question: Would any of you read this if I continued it after I get Finn and Rachel back together, or should I just get them together and end it? I wanted to continue it for a little while with Finn and Rachel dating and starting afresh, but I want to hear what you guys think.
Rachel POV
I tried. God knows I tried so hard. And it wasn't a lie. I really cared about Sam. Sam was the best friend I never had…except for Finn. It always came back to Finn. No matter what happened, I always came crawling back to Finn. It never mattered what he had done to hurt me, or what had happened, I could never stop loving him.
Talking about him today…it brought back so many memories. Memories of us cuddling on my bed, watching Funny Girl for the millionth time. Finn had watched it so many times by our three-week anniversary that he would say the lines along with the movie. I knew he would never admit it, but he secretly loved the movie. At least, he did eventually. A small, watery chuckle escaped my lips before I could stop myself.
So that was why I was here, standing on the stage of the auditorium. I needed to let my feelings out, to sing them out. And to do that, I need to turn my distant mentor: Barbra.
Oh, my man, I love him so, he'll never know
All my life is just despair, but I don't care
When he takes me in his arms
The world is bright, all right...
What's the difference if I say I'll go away
When I know I'll come back on my knee someday
For whatever my man is, I am his forever more
It cost me a lot,
But there's one thing that I've got, it's my man
Cold and wet tired, you bet,
But all that I soon forget with my man
He's not much for looks
And no hero out of books is my man
Two or three girls has he
That he likes as well as me, but I love him...
Oh, my man, I love him so, he'll never know
All my life is just despair, but I don't care
When he takes me in his arms
The world is bright, all right...
What's the difference if I say I'll go away
When I know I'll come back on my knee someday
For whatever my man is, I am his forever more...
I didn't even think about how I sounded. I didn't think about looking stage-perfect. I just poured my heart and soul into the music. That's all I needed to do. Nobody was here to watch me, and for once I didn't actually care about being perfect. My throat was dry, my eyes were overflowing with tears, they stung with my grief. Choked sobs burst from me, the raw emotion of them overcoming me. I couldn't live this lie any longer. I wasn't letting my feelings out; I was admitting to them. Feelings that would never va-
Slow clapping stopped my thoughts in their tracks. To my horror, Sam appeared from behind the curtain, the source of my applause.
"That was the most beautiful and amazing thing I have ever heard. But…it wasn't for me, was it?"
"I am so sorry Sam," I told him, hating to see his red-rimmed eyes. "I just-"
"I know, Rachel," he cut me off. "This was never real. I care about you, Rachel, but this wasn't real."
The words stung me like wasps, or hard criticism from a director. "Not real?" Finn didn't feel anything, now Sam didn't either.
"Words don't describe how much I care about you, Rachel." He moved forward and cupped my face in his hand. "But tell me this. When you kissed me, what did you feel?"
He deserved the truth. I owed him that. "Satisfaction. Relief. Hope that I might move on."
"Kind of like fireworks," Sam told me. "But once that passes, the fireworks fade. You're my friend, Rachel, and that will never change."
"You're my best friend," I whispered.
"No I'm not," he corrected me instantly. "That role was cast as Finn a long time ago. But I'll always be there for you."
"Sam I-"
"I understand, Rachel." A small smile flickered on his lips, and I understood that in all honesty, he wasn't really upset. Yes, it hurt him like it hurt me, but he felt the same way I felt: tired. We both knew this would never last. We were both settling for one another.
Without another word, Sam pressed a small kiss to my lips, then turned on his heel, and walked away.
I was alone in the auditorium.
A/N: I'm sorry guys. I know you love your Samchel, but this is a Finchel story, and I felt like there just was not enough Finchel. I was bored. It was either end them quick or end the fic. Rachel and Sam will remain good friends, but they've accepted that they could no longer pretend to have a romance when they aren't right for one another. Finchel for the win.