Warning: This chapter contains Lea/Isa, Hayner/Pence (for the sole purpose of disturbing you all, mwahahaha!), Ansem/Kairi's Grandmother (for the sole purpose of disturbing you all EVEN MORE!), Santa's prejudice personality, the DARK side of Mrs. Claus, and A LOT of singing. You have been warned.
Flamesilocks
It all started a few years before the big snowstorm, down in the North Pole. One of Santa's main reindeer trainers, Hayner, had just become the proud father of a happy baby boy.
Hayner looked at his new son adoringly. "We'll name him Lea," he said lovingly.
His wife, Pence, smiled sweetly. "Lea is a lovely name," he said, too afraid to contradict with his husband.
The baby boy opened his eyes at the mention of his name. Hayner laughed. "Why, the young man knows his name already! He gets that from my side of the family!"
"Papa," said the baby boy. He lifted his head slightly out of his baby blanket, revealing a full head of spiky red hair.
His parents gasped. "Why, his hair is bright red!" exclaimed his mother.
His father frowned. "Indeed, he'll never fit in with the other trainers now. This is hopeless!"
Just then, Santa Clause himself entered the room. "Hello there, Hayner!" he said. He waltzed in without knocking.
Hayner sighed. "Hello, Ansem," he said, calling Santa Clause by his real name.
Ansem laughed. "I just thought I'd pop in to see the little fellow. After all, one day he'll have to be strong enough to become a professional reindeer trainer, just like his—GREAT BOUNCING ICEBURGS!" he screamed, taking a look at the boy's hair.
Hayner winced. "Now, I know it looks bad," he said. "But I'm sure it'll go away once he gets older."
"Let's hope so," said Ansem. He knelt down beside Lea. "You know, little guy, every year I string up my sleigh bells and select eight lucky trainers to lead my reindeer across the sky. In fact, just mentioning it makes me feel a song coming on!" Ansem winked at the baby boy, and cleared his throat.
Jingle, jingle, jingle, you will hear my sleigh bells ring!
I am old Chris Cringle; I'm the King of jingling!
Jingle, jingle reindeer, through the frosty air they'll go!
They are not just reindeer; they're the fastest deer I know!
Ho-ho-ho!
You must believe that on Christmas Eve, I will pass you by!
I'll dash away in my magic sleigh, flying through the sky!
Jingle, jingle, jingle, you will hear my sleigh bells ring!
I am old Chris Cringle; I'm the King of jingling!
Jingle, jingle, jingle, you will hear my sleigh bells ring!
I am old Chris Cringle; I'm the King of jingling!
And with that, Ansem leaped out of the cave to go bother someone else with his singing.
Lea waved one of his potatoey hands. "Bye-bye!" he gurgled.
Hayner sighed. "Oh, Ansem's right, he'll never make the team," he said. He paced across the room, trying to come up with a good idea. He snapped his fingers. "I've got it!" he cried. "We'll hide Lea's hair!"
Pence's eyes opened wide. "Hide it?" he said, putting her arm protectively around her new son.
"Yeah!" said Hayner. He ran to their bathroom as soon as he could, took Pence's shower cap off the hook, and stuck it on Lea's head. "Now he'll fit in with everybody else!"
Lea shook his head, trying to get the cap off his hair. Hayner laughed. "Oh, he'll get used to it," he said.
So for the next year, the family did pretty well with hiding Lea's hair. Hayner taught his son everything he knew; how to ride reindeer, and how to take care of them; but most importantly of all, he taught his son to beware of the Abominable Snow Monster of the North, for he was mean and nasty, and hated everything to do with Christmas.
Besides the Abominable, business goes on as usual. And soon, it is time for everybody to get ready for that big sleigh ride that takes place on the night of December 24.
Every toy that Ansem brings is made by elves. See, these elves have a certain knack for toy making, all except for one…misfit.
"Roxas!" screamed the head elf, Cid. "Are you done painting that wagon YET? There's a mile-long line behind you; what's taking you so long?"
Roxas sighed. "I'm sorry, sir, I guess I'm just not happy with my work."
"What?" screamed Cid, his eyes rolling around in his head. "What do you mean; you're not happy with your work?"
"I just don't like making toys," confessed Roxas, putting down his paintbrush.
Cid sighed with relief. "Well, if that's all-SLAP MY THIGHS AND CALL ME SUSANNA! YOU DON'T LIKE TO MAKE TOYS?"
"…No," said Roxas quietly.
Cid put his hands down on the table. "You hear that?" he said to the elf next to Roxas. "Roxas doesn't like to make toys!"
Soon, the fact spread as each elf told the elf next to him. They all glared at Roxas, their faces angry. "Shame on you!" they all said simultaneously.
"Do you mind telling me what you do want to do?" said Cid, afraid of what he was going to hear.
"Well, sir," said Roxas, looking down at his feet in embarrassment, "someday I'd like to be a…a dentist!"
"A DENTIST!" screamed Cid, his blood pressure rising. All of the other elves laughed at such a silly idea, but Roxas took it very seriously.
"Well, we need one here! I've been studying, sir, and it truly is very fascinating, you have no idea; there's molars, root canals, cavities…"
"Now listen here!" yelled Cid, interrupting Roxas' list. "You're an elf, and elves make toys!" He thrust a toy wagon into Roxas' arms. "Now, get to work!"
RIIIING!
"Ten minute break!" shouted Cid. All of the elves started filing out of the room. Roxas followed the crowd, but Cid grabbed him by the collar before he could leave.
"Not for you!" he said. "Finish the job, or you're FIRED!" Cid left the room, still mumbling about the ridiculousness of wanting to be a dentist.
Roxas continued painting the toy wagon, tears streaming down his face. Finally, he put the wagon down, picked up his big book entitled, DENTISTRY, and felt a song coming on.
Why am I such a misfit? I am not just a nitwit!
You can't fire me; I quit! Seems, I don't fit in!
Meanwhile, Hayner had finally found something better to cover Lea's hair.
"Now, try this on," said Hayner, holding up a curly blond wig.
"But daddy," said Lea, who was still a young boy, "I don't want to—"
"You're going to wear it, and you're going to like it!" shouted Hayner. He forcefully stuck the wig on top of his son's head. "No son of mine is going to be a reject!"
Lea sighed as the itchy wig was placed over his head. Slouching and dragging his feet, Lea moped out of their cottage and stood outside in the cold snow. He took off his wig, threw it to the cold ground, and suddenly felt a reprise coming on.
Why am I such a misfit? I am not just a nitwit!
Just because my hair's red, why don't I fit in?
Time passes, and soon it is time for school. It is the time when all of the children go out and meet new friends; it is also the time when Ansem makes his inspections.
Hayner gave his son a hearty slap on the back. "Now, don't worry about your hair, son. Just go out there, and show your stuff!"
Lea shrugged his shoulders and walked over to the group. A boy with sandy hair came over. "Hey there!" he said. "My name's Ventus! What's yours?"
"L-Lea," said Lea, a little shy about meeting strangers.
"Well then, Lea, wanna be my buddy?" asked Ventus, a hopeful look in his eyes.
"Sure," said Lea, feeling much more comfortable. He followed Ventus over to another group of kids who were playing games.
Meanwhile meanwhile, the elves were showing Ansem the new song they had practiced. (The author would put the song in the story, but it was so long and so bad that she would prefer not to.)
Mrs. Ansem stood up and clapped. "Bravo! Bravo!" She turned to her husband for support.
Ansem raised his eyebrows. "Bernadette, are you kidding me? That was crap!" he whispered. (I always pictured Kairi's grandmother as a Bernadette, didn't you?)
Bernadette slapped his leg. "At least they tried!" she said.
Ansem, not being in a very generous mood, sighed. "Well, it needs work. I have to go," he said, and walked out of the room.
Bernadette rolled her eyes, and got out of her seat. "What does he know? It was beautiful! You keep it just the way it was." She ran out of the room, trying to find Ansem.
Cid blew up. "That was TERRIBLE!" he screamed. "The tenor section was way too weak!"
"It wasn't our fault!" shouted all the elves. "Roxas didn't show up!"
"WHAT?" Cid ran out of the room, breathing smoke out of his nostrils.
Roxas sat in his workshop, "fixing" a doll's teeth with a tiny hammer. "Now, this won't hurt a bit," he said like a crazy person who talks to dolls.
Cid slammed the door open. "YOU!" he growled, reaching his hands out to strangle the poor elf. "WHY WEREN'T YOU AT THE PERFORMANCE?"
Roxas protectively hid himself behind a chair, and gulped. "Well, sir, I was just fixing this doll's teeth, sir—"
"Fixing-LISTEN!" hissed Cid, lifting Roxas up into the air by his hat. "We have dolls that walk, talk, cry, blink, and run a temperature! The LAST thing we need are dolls that can chew!"
"I-I just thought I had found a way to...to fit in..."
"You'll NEVER fit in!" Cid yelled. He walked towards the door and turned around. "Now you BETTER come to elf practice to learn how to wiggle your ears and chuckle warmly and go 'he-he' and 'ho-ho', or ELSE!" He walked away, mumbling to himself, "What did I ever do to deserve this kind of punishment! A dentist…"
Roxas sighed, and grabbed his DENTISTRY book from underneath the table. "It's like he said, I guess I'll never fit in," he said.
He opened up a window, and stepped outside. "I guess I'm on my own now," he said. And with that, Roxas shut the window behind him, and began his journey into the great outdoors.
Meanwhile meanwhile meanwhile, Lea and Ventus were playing together in the snow, when Ventus looked behind Lea and smiled. "Hey, check out those girls over there," he said.
Lea turned and saw a group of pretty looking girls standing in a row, giggling. But what really caught his attention, was the boy standing alone next to them; his blue-ish silver hair swaying in the breeze.
Ventus elbowed him in the shoulder. "Heeeey," he said, winking. "Watcha doin'?" he asked, nodding towards the blue-haired boy.
Lea shrugged him off. "N-Nothing," he said.
"Alright, ladies and gents!" yelled a loud voice. "Time to gather up!"
Ventus beckoned Lea over. "That's the coach," he said, a respectful look in his eye.
"Hello there!" said their coach, a tall muscular man with brown hair that almost looked as red as Lea's but not nearly as bright. "My name is Coach Lexaeus! My job is to make MEN out of all you wimps, so let's go!" He blew on his whistle, starting the session.
"Now then," he said. "Our first game is called, 'Takeoff', because all of you WIMPS are going to have to learn how to teach reindeer how to fly." He whistled again, and a young reindeer came out, his legs still wobbling a little from prematurity. "Who wants to go first?"
All of the young boys jumped at their coach, begging to go first. Lexaeus swatted them away with his cap. "ALRIGHT ALREADY! You there, you can go first," he said to a random kid.
Slowly, the young boy got on top of the reindeer, gave it a running start, and flew off, smashing his face into the snow.
While all the other children laughed, Ventus gave Lea the elbow again. "Now's your chance to make a move!" he whispered.
Lea nodded. He puffed out his chest real big, slicked back his wig, and walked over to the blue-haired boy.
"Nice day," said the blue-haired boy, looking down at his shoes.
"Uhh, yeah," said Lea, disappointed at how the conversation was going. He scratched his wig nervously.
"F-For takeoff practice, I mean," said the blue-haired boy. "I bet you'll be the best."
Lea blushed and scratched his wig again. "Aw, I don't know," he said.
The blue-haired boy looked at him strangely. "Is something wrong with your hair? It's just…you keep scratching your head."
Lea, embarrassed by his constant scratching, got very defensive. "Is it a crime to scratch your head?" he said freshly.
"Oh no," said the boy, worried. "I didn't mean it like that! I don't really care anyways."
Lea calmed down. "Y-You don't?" he said. He liked this boy already.
"My name's Isa," said the boy. "Hi..."
"My name's Lea," said Lea. "Hi…"
"Hi…" repeated Isa. They both stared dreamily at each other for about two minutes.
Finally, Lea broke the silence. "Say, Isa, do you…well, would you want to—"
"Lea!" shouted Lexaeus. "Stop talking and get your butt over here! It's your turn, you know!"
"Oh!" panicked Lea. He quickly finished what he was going to say. "Would you walk home with me?"
Isa blinked at him a few times. "Uh-huh," he said, a smile forming on his face. As Lea started to go, Isa finally found what he was going to say. "Hey, Lea!" he said.
Lea walked over. Isa cupped his hands around his mouth and whispered in his ear, "I think you're cute."
Lea's face blushed bright red. Excited with this new knowledge, he jumped on top of the practice reindeer, and flew two feet off the ground, landing beside Coach Lexaeus.
"Wow!" said the coach. "That's marvelous!"
Lea didn't hear him. "I'm cute! I'm cute!" he shouted. He steered the reindeer up into the sky again, flying higher and longer than before.
Right at that moment, Ansem appeared on the scene, apparently free from his wife for the time being. "Not bad!" he said, gaping at Lea with wide eyes that twinkled. "Not bad at all!"
Lea landed with beside Ventus, out of breath. "That was amazing!" complimented Ventus.
"She said I'm cute!" exclaimed Lea. Ventus laughed with excitement as they jumped up and down, giving each other slaps on the back and high-fives.
Unfortunately, Lea jumped up and down so hard that his wig flew off his head and landed in the snow beside him.
"CHRIS CRINGLE ON A CUPCAKE!" shouted Ventus, covering his eyes to shield himself from the bright redness of Lea's hair.
"What's wrong, Ven?" asked Lea, unaware of his hair-mishap.
"G-Get away from me, freak!" shouted Ventus.
"What's the holdup here, guys?" said Coach Lexaeus. "It almost sounds like—LADY GAGA ON TOAST!" he screamed, jumping backwards. "W-What's wrong with your hair?"
All the other kids gathered around him, gasping at first. Then they all started to laugh as Lea desperately tried to cover his head.
"Look at his hair!"
"Hey, Firehead!"
"Hey, Lightbulb!"
"Hey, Gingerbread-head!"
"How about Flamesilocks?"
"Yeah, Flamesilocks!"
Lea covered his face. "Stop calling me names!" he shouted weakly in his defense. This just made them laugh harder.
Ansem frowned at Hayner and shook his head. "Hayner! You should be ashamed of yourself! And to think, I was just about to put him on the team!" Hayner hung his head in shame.
Lexaeus blew his whistle. "Come on folks! Back to practice!"
Everyone groaned and started to walk back to the practice area. But Lexaeus put his arm in front of Lea, guarding the way. "Oooh, no!" he said. "You better go on home with your family! From now on, we're not going to let Lea join any of our flying games, right guys?" All of the other students cheered.
Lea, unable to stand the shameful looks on his parent's faces and the taunts of his classmates, ran off towards the woods, to somewhere where no one could make fun of him.
As Lea ran, he heard a voice shout behind him, "Lea! Lea, wait!"
Lea stopped in his tracks and looked back. Isa caught up with him, his face red from running so much.
"What do you want?" demanded Lea, wiping tears from his eyes.
"You promised you were going to walk me home," said Isa sadly.
Lea looked at Isa, confused. "Aren't you going to make fun of my hair, too?"
Isa smiled, making the whole forest light up. "I think your hair looks awesome, a lot better than that weird wig you were wearing, anyway."
"B-But it looks horrible!" complained Lea. "It's so different from everyone else's…"
"But that's what makes it so cool!" said Isa. "Anyone should consider themselves lucky to be with you!"
Lea blushed again. "Yeah?" he said, his voice gleaming with new confidence. But remembering that day made his confidence leave him again. "I wasn't very lucky today though," he said. "I wish…I wish…"
Isa put his fingers to Lea's lips as he felt an urge to break into song.
There's always tomorrow for dreams to come true
Believe in your dreams, come what may!
There's always tomorrow with so much to do
And solely to time in a day!
All of the sudden, small groups of woodland creatures gathered to listen to his song. Isa smiled and continued to sing as rabbits and raccoons swayed arm in arm, while Lea was slightly creeped out.
We all pretend that the rain will have an end
And you'll be there my friend, someday!
There's always tomorrow for dreams to come true
Tomorrow is not far away!
Lea nearly jumped out of his skin as all the animals started to sing along.
We all pretend that the rain will have an end
And you'll be there my friend, someday!
There's always tomorrow for dreams to come true
Tomorrow is not far away!
Lea and Isa smiled at each other lovingly, and started to walk towards the end of the woods, hand in hand.
"Isa!" shouted a gruff voice.
Lea and Isa suddenly turned to see a tall, scary looking man with a scar and an eye patch headed towards them. "Oh no," said Isa. "It's my father!"
"Isa, you go back inside the house right this very minute!" shouted his father, Braig.
"But, father—"
"This INSTANT!" he screamed forcefully.
Isa hung his head, let go of Lea's hand, and shuffled on home. Braig turned to Lea, and sneered. "No son of mine is going to be seen with a good-for-nothing-red-head-hippie like you!" he said like a meanie. He turned on his heel, and headed off after Isa, ready to scold him when they got home.
Even sadder than before, Lea sighed and walked off again, his confidence and spirit no more than the size of a pea at his point.
Out of the blue, an elf (Roxas) suddenly popped out of a snow bank, his head the only part of him poking out.
"I'm sorry," he said politely. "Is this your snow bank?"
Lea jumped back, startled. "Who are you?" he said.
Roxas jumped out of the snow bank, his feet landing on the ground so lightly they hardly made any noise at all. "Why, I'm a dentist!" he said proudly.
Lea tried not to giggle at the thought. "A…dentist?" he said, covering his smile.
Roxas sighed and looked down at his pointy green shoes. "At least I want to be," he said. "Right now, I'm just an elf."
His tone suddenly changed to anger. "But, I don't need anybody!" he said, raising his fist in protest. "I'm independent!"
"Really?" said Lea, delighted to know that there was someone else in the same situation as he was. "Me too! I'm…whatever you just said!" He smiled with one corner of his mouth.
A tree branch fell behind them. Neither one of them would admit it, but being out in the woods all alone scared both of them to death.
"Say," said Roxas, thinking of a good excuse not to go alone. "Why don't we be independent together?"
Lea smiled shyly. "You don't mind my hair?" he said, pointing.
To be honest, Roxas thought that the boy's hair looked absolutely ridiculous, but he didn't say it. "Just as long as you don't mind me being a dentist," he said.
Lea could never imagine an elf like him ever becoming a dentist; the thought was just too hilarious. But he didn't say it. "It's a deal!" he said, shaking hands with the elf.
And then, the strangest thing happened when they touched hands at that very moment—they both had the urge to sing.
We're a couple of misfits! We're a couple of misfits!
What's the matter with misfits? That's where we fit in!
We're not daffy and silly, don't go 'round willy nilly
Seems to us kind of silly, that we don't fit in!
We may be different from the rest, who decides the test of what is really best!
We're a couple of misfits; we're a couple of misfits, what's the matter with misfits, that's where we fit in!
Lea cleared his throat and prepared for a solo:
Why am I such a misfit? I am not just a nitwit!
Just because my hair's red, why don't I fit in?
Roxas created a snowman that looked like Cid, and then punched it down as he sang his own solo:
Why am I such a misfit? I am not just a nitwit!
You can't fire me; I quit! Seems, I don't fit in!
They walked over to the pond and stared at their reflections, just as a large fish came up and squirted water in Roxas' face. Laughing, they continued to sing together.
We may be different from the rest, who decides the test of what is really best!
We're a couple of misfits; we're a couple of misfits, what's the matter with misfits, that's where we fit in!
The two of them, arm in arm as if they had been friends for years, walked out of the woods and into the wild, unaware of the dangers that waited for them there.
In fact, as they shuffled through the cold night, they were almost spotted by the Abominable Snow Monster.
"He probably sees your hair!" whispered Roxas as they heard a low growl and footsteps. "Quick; hide!"
Roxas smashed Lea's head into the snowy ground as the Abominable lurked in the mountains behind them, and disappeared back into his cave.
But somehow, they managed to make it through the first night without any trouble.
Lea and Roxas clung together for warmth as they shuffled through endless snow banks, until they heard shouts and yells.
"Yaah! Yaaahhh!"
Panicking, Roxas and Lea fumbled as to where they were going to hide, finally deciding on shoving themselves into the snow mound next to them.
A man with a festive grass skirt came over on his sled, a pack of tired sled dogs pulling him forward. The man saw the two bodies sticking out of the mound and came over to inspect.
"What's this?" he said. He put away his whip, walked over to the bodies, and yanked them out with all his strength.
"You need to be more careful next time, okay kids?" said the man, even though it was quite obvious. He pushed back his silver hair like a model. "You could get frostbite that way!"
"Who are you?" asked Lea, his eyes wide with amazement. He had never seen a man so…exotic looking before.
"Allow me to introduce myself," he said. The man jumped up on a raised platform of ice, as if it were a stage. He bowed. "The name's Riku, The Greatest Prospector in the North! And this is my land, rich with gold! GOLD!" he screamed, making their whole environment shake.
He continued his speech. "Gold and silver! Silver and gold! Whoopeeeee!"
He flipped his pickax up in the air, where it landed by sticking itself into the hard ice. Riku picked up the pickax and sniffed it, even licked it with the very tip of his tongue for a spot of silver or gold.
He sighed. "Nothin'" he said sadly. Even though he couldn't find any gold, he couldn't help but feel a weird tingling sensation down in his throat, which spread all the way to his arms until he was forced to take a banjo out of his backpack. Why, it was the urge to sing, of course!
Silver and gold, silver and gold, everyone wishes for silver and gold!
How do you measure its worth? Just by the pleasure it gives here on Earth!
Silver and gold, silver and gold, means so much more when I see!
Silver and gold decorations, on every Christmas tree!
"What is a Christmas tree without tinsel and pretty silver and gold decorations?" he asked. Lea jumped back as the same woodland creatures from before started putting up decorations on a random pine tree to their left.
"Can't call it silver and gold, now can you?" said Riku. A squirrel shook his head.
Roxas pointed to the squirrel. "How does it…?"
Lea shook his head. "I dunno, I honestly don't know…"
"And think of all the fun and joy that would be lost on Christmas morning if all the young folks didn't get to see that sparkling, happy tree." He shook his head, and smiled.
Silver and gold, silver and gold, means so much more when I see!
Silver and gold decorations, on every Christmas tree!
Riku put his banjo away, and rubbed his hands together. "Well, I'm off to go get some more supplies, you know, gunpowder, cornmeal, more grass for my skirt, and guitar strings. I'll give you a lift; hop aboard!"
Riku helped Lea and Roxas onto his sled, picked up his whip, and started using it on the dogs again. "Mush!" he cried. "Muuush!"
But the dogs refused to move; they had had enough walking for one day.
Riku rolled his eyes, unhooked their harnesses, and used them to pull the sled himself. "Like this," he said, demonstrating.
But instead of taking it as a demonstration, the dogs hopped onto the sled next to Lea and Roxas, leaving all the pulling to Riku.
But they had only traveled a few feet when an ear-splitting roar pierced through the air.
ROOOAAARRRR!
"HOLY SMOKED HAM ON RYE!" screamed Riku. "It's the Abominable!"
The Abominable peaked his head out between two mounds in front of them, snarling and bearing his teeth.
"It's my hair!" wailed Lea. "It's giving us away again!"
"Well," said Riku. "In times like these, it is important that we outsmart the Abominable using our brains and knowledge!"
"What do you mean?" said Lea.
"Well," said Riku again. "First, we should—RRUUUUNNN!" he screamed out of the blue. He pulled the sled along behind him as he ran as fast as he could, the Abominable following close behind.
They reached the end of the road, for there was only water stretching out for miles and miles in front of them.
"We're trapped!" cried Lea, stating the obvious. "There's no way out! It's my nose! It's finished us!"
The Abominable was quickly starting to get closer and closer, his growls and shrieks getting louder and louder.
Riku narrowed his eyes. "Not quite," he argued. "The Abominable has one weakness, and I know it!"
Using his pickax one more time, he chipped away at the ice surrounding their sled, until they finally broke away into the water.
"Observe," said Riku, "the Abominable's one weakness!"
The Abominable looked questioningly at the water ahead of him, and stepped in with one foot. Faster than they thought, the monster quickly sank down below the water's surface, practically drowning.
Riku jumped and cheered. "The Abominable sinks!" he said.
Unfortunately, the Abominable wasn't dead yet; his quickly boosted himself back out of the water and onto the snow banks once again, growling angrily at them, as if to say he would plot his revenge.
For the meanwhile though, they were safe. "Riku scores again! Whoopee!" Riku flipped his pickax into the air again, where it stuck into their ice float.
Once again, he yanked out his tool and inspected it closely for any signs of riches, smelling it and tasting it. "Nothing," he said disappointed once more.
Slightly weirded out by all of his random pickax inspections, Lea went on and asked the important question of the moment. "What's going to happen now?"
"Why, you're coming to live with me, of course!" exclaimed Riku, his face cheery and red from the excitement and cold. "And we're going to be rich! Rich on silver! SILVER!"
Roxas cocked his head. "But…I thought you said you were hunting for gold."
Riku put his hands on his hips and rolled his eyes. "Well, I changed my mind," he said matter-of-factly.
Lea and Roxas glanced at each other, fully comprehending the level of insanity this man had to offer. But even if Riku didn't make any sense, and even though they all had no idea where they were going, they continued their journey with high hopes for what the future had to offer them.
Back to the meanwhiles, Hayner was naturally pretty upset about what had happened, and decided to go out looking for his son.
Pence protested; he wanted to go with him. But Hayner refused. "This is man's work," he said sexistly.
But no sooner had he left, that Isa appeared at their home. Together, he and Pence decided to go out and search for Lea themselves, no matter what everyone else thought.
As for our other travelers, they were still floating along on their ice raft when they started encountering a thick layer of fog.
"Helloooo!" shouted Riku, waiting to see if he could get any response. He sighed as he was only returned with an eerie silence. "Humph, thick as peanut butter," he muttered.
Roxas cleared his throat. "You mean, pea soup," he said in his know-it-all tone.
Riku rolled his eyes again; he was really starting to get ticked at this little elf. "You eat what you like, and I'll eat what I like!" he growled.
CRASH!
The group fell forward as they crashed into another snow bank, presumably land.
"Land-hooo!" hollered Riku.
Roxas rolled his eyes; the crusader's sudden outbursts found to be quite annoying. He rubbed his aching back. "No kidding," he said.
Lea sat right side up and looked around nervously. "Where are we?" he said.
As soon as he said that, the sun suddenly passed through the fog and rested its bright light upon a beautiful ice castle rested between the mountains.
While the two kids were busy staring in awe at the palace, Riku gasped and pointed up at the sky. "Look at that!" he said.
Lea and Roxas forced their eyes away from the shining palace and looked up. There, flying high in the sky loud and proud was an angelic man with long silver hair and a black wing.
Roxas gasped and backed up into a box behind him, in which a person popped out. "Who goes there?" he cried. Actually, he wasn't even a person; he was a talking jack-in-the-box!
"Us of course; who'd you think?" said Riku, folding his arms. (As if he was being the stupid one in this particular situation.)
"Oh," said the toy. "Well, that's okay—OKAY? Well then, who may I ask, are you?"
"We're Lea, Roxas, and Riku," said Lea politely. "Who are you?"
"Why, I am the sentry to the Island of Misfit Toys," he said, a dignified gleam in his eyes.
Roxas couldn't help but giggle. "A jack-in-the-box for a sentry—"
"Yes!" interrupted the toy, annoyed. "My name is—"
"Don't tell me!" Lea interrupted the interrupter. "You're Jack!"
"N-No!" stammered the toy, tears forming in his eyes. "I-It's Seifer!" he wailed. He burst into tears. "I'm a misfit; don't you see? Nobody wants to play with a Seifer in the box!"
"What is here, exactly?" asked Roxas. As if on cue, music suddenly started to play as toys from all across the island came over and explained—in song, naturally.
We're on the Island of Misfit Toys; here we don't want to stay!
We want to travel with Santa Claus in his magic sleigh!
A packful of toys means a sackful of joys for millions of girls and for millions of boys!
When Christmas Day is here, the most wonderful day of the year!
A jack in the box waits for children to shout, "Wake up, don't you know that it's time to come out!"
When Christmas Day is here, the most wonderful day of the year!
Toys galore scattered on the floor!
There's no room for more, and it's all because of Santa Claus!
A scooter for Jimmy, a dolly for Sue - the kind that will even say "How do you do?"
When Christmas Day is here the most wonderful day of the year!
Some of the toys shook their heads sadly. "How would you like to be a spotted elephant?"
"Or a choo-choo with square wheels on your caboose?"
"Or a water pistol that squirts jelly?"
"We're all misfits!"
"How would you like to be a bird that doesn't fly; I swim!"
"Or a cowboy that rides an ostrich?"
"Or a boat that can't stay afloat?"
"We're all misfits!"
If we're on the island of unwanted toys, we'll miss all the fun with the girls and the boys!
When Christmas day is here; the most wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, wonderful,
Wonderful day of the year!
"Hey!" shouted Lea, sprouting an idea. "We're all misfits too; maybe we could stay here for a while!"
"Well," said Seifer uncertainly. "You would have to get permission from our king, Sephiroth!"
"Who's Sephiroth?" asked Lea.
"He rules here! Every night he searches the entire Earth; when he finds a misfit toy, one that no little boy or girl loves, he brings it here to live on this island 'till someone wants it. In fact, he's holding court in his castle right now! Follow me!"
So the group followed Seifer as he led them up a steep slope and into the grand palace, where Sephiroth sat on a throne made of crystal and ice.
"Come closer," he said, the tiny crown on his head shining in the light. "What do you desire?" Frankly, the king didn't care what the group desired; it was stated in his contract that he had to say that every time a tourist lost their way and ended up on the island by accident.
"We're misfits from Christmas Town, sir," said Lea. "And now, we'd like to live here!"
"No, that wouldn't be possible!" panicked Sephiroth. He was having population problems as it was—what with the risk off rebellion and all. He made up an excuse on the spot. "This island is for toys only."
"How do you like that?" said Riku. "Even among misfits; you're a misfit!"
Now that hurt. "Unlike playthings," spat Sephiroth, holding back tears. "A living creature cannot hide himself on an island. But perhaps, being misfits yourselves, you might help the toys here."
"Help them?" questioned Lea.
"Yes," said Sephiroth. "When someday you return to Christmas Town, would you tell Santa about our homeless toys? I'm sure he could find little boys and girls who could be happy with them. A toy is never truly happy until he is loved by a child…or until he gets his own condominium with a Jacuzzi." The king, of course, muttered the last part under his breath longingly.
"When and if we ever get back," said Lea. "We'll tell Santa, sir!"
"Good. You are free to spend the night," said the king. He clapped his hands together, and some toys appeared at his side. "Footmen," said Sephiroth. "Show them to their chambers."
In their chambers (which were rather small considering it was meant for toys), Roxas argued with Lea. "No, it's settled; we leave tomorrow at dawn together."
"But the Abominable will see my hair and get us all," complained Lea, running his fingers through his bright red hair. "I have to go alone!"
"Nonsense!" cried Riku. "It's all for all and one for...not wait, it's all for two and one for...no, no wait..." He groaned at his own fumbles and mistakes. "Let's just get some shut eye!"
"But..." began Lea.
"It's all settled!" pushed Roxas. Before anybody could say anything else, he turned off the lights, and he and Riku fell fast asleep.
But Lea knew that he couldn't put his friends in danger, so he snuck out while they were still asleep, and continued his journey on his own.
"Goodbye Riku," he said. "I hope you find lots of tinsel. Goodbye Roxas. Whatever requirements you need to become a dentist, I hope you become the greatest dentist ever."
And with that, he floated away on the ice raft, towards his future, or sudden death.
Time passed on once more. Lea continued to travel on his own, for the Abominable kept him on the run. But once in a while, he stopped to make a friend or two with the woodland creatures that used to freak him out so much. But it would never last long, and before he knew it, he would be on his own again.
And during the time he had on his own, he slowly transformed. He was no longer a boy on his own anymore; he was a young man, with more knowledge with every passing day. And with that knowledge, came understanding: you can't run away from your troubles. He knew he was going to have to go home.
But by the time he got home, it was far too late already; his parents were gone. "Mom! Dad! I'm home!" he shouted, his new deeper voice echoing throughout their empty house.
"They're not here, Lea," said a familiar voice.
Lea turned and saw Ansem standing in the entrance of the cave, a sad look on his face. "They've been gone for months, out looking for you."
Lea pondered this. He had never realized that his parents might have cared enough to actually go out and look for him. "What about Isa?" he asked.
"She's gone too. And I'm getting worried. Christmas Eve is only two days away, and without your father, I'll never be able to control my reindeer." Because of course, he didn't care about the rest of them.
Lea nodded. "I'll find them," he said. "I'll find them all sir, and bring them back! I promise!"
And just as he left, it hit. The ultimate snow storm. It ripped the shingling off of Ansem's house; it tore igloos right off the ground; it even tore off Cid's clothes, much to the dismay of all the other elves.
Now Lea knew that he had to find them fast, before the storm got even worse. And what's more; he knew just where to look: the cave of the Abominable Snow Monster.
He burst in through the cave entrance, and not a moment too soon. The Abominable was holding Isa in one of his big paws, and was just about to eat him right up.
"Put him down!" screamed Lea. The monster noticed Lea at the cave entrance, and his attention was suddenly caught. He put down Isa, and slowly started to stumble towards the man, a hungry look in his eyes.
But Lea was quicker; he stepped out of the way right as the monster jumped at him. The Abominable fell to the ground with a loud CRASH, his eyes spinning around in his head.
Angry with the monster for tearing him away from his friends, hunting him down relentlessly and almost eating his boyfriend, Lea grabbed a sharp stick and jabbed at the monster's butt as he lay there.
The Abominable roared with the pain, and jumped up onto his feet again. His eyes red with rage, he broke a stalactite off of the ceiling and threw it at Lea, knocking him unconscious and possibly dead. The monster roared in victory.
For the last meanwhile, Roxas and Riku were still out searching for their friend, as they had been ever since he left. Fortunately, upon arriving at Christmas Town, Ansem told them of Lea's whereabouts.
Roxas and Riku peeked into the cave. "What do we do?" asked Roxas, hopping up and down with worry. "We can't let that monster get a hold of them!"
Riku thought for a moment, and then snapped his fingers. "I've got a plan!" he said. "But I'm not sure if it'll work!"
While he whispered the plan into Roxas' ear, the monster was creeping closer and closer to Lea and his family.
Isa stroked Lea's hair as he continued to not wake up. "Oh, why doesn't he just get it over with?" he cried, losing all hope.
Lea slowly stirred. "Mother...father...Isa..." he mumbled.
Roxas' eyes went wide as he understood his plan. "But are you sure we can get him outside?" he said.
Riku shook his head. "I don't know," he said. "But I've never known a snow monster yet, who would turn down a tasty pork dinner! Do your stuff!"
As Riku took his position hanging on the rim of the cave, Roxas crawled towards the cave entrance. "Oink, oink," he mumbled. He wanted to be a dentist, not an actor.
Riku groaned at his weak attempt. "Put some heart into it!" he said. "That monster's hungry!"
Roxas rolled his eyes and tried harder. "Oink! Oink! Oink!"
Convinced that there was really a pig out in the middle of the North Pole, the monster stopped trying to eat Lea and his family, and started stumbling towards the cave entrance, licking his lips.
"Whahooooo!" called Riku. From the top of the cave entrance, he pushed a hard ball of ice and snow down onto the Abominable's head, and knocking him down. He then proceeded with pushing a rock onto the monster's head, knocking him out completely.
"Alright, dentist!" shouted Riku. "Do your stuff!"
Roxas nodded proudly, and walked over to the monster's mouth with a large pair of teeth-puller's in his hands.
Lea gasped. "Hey, Riku, long time no see!"
Riku bowed before him like he did when they first met. "Tah-dah!" he announced. "In person!"
"We're saved!" cried Isa.
"Let's get out of here!" shouted Hayner.
RROOOOAAAARR!
Everyone gasped as the Abominable appeared before them again, angrier than before. Curses!" cried Riku.
Just then, Roxas walked out from between the monster's legs. "No need to worry anymore, fellahs," he said. "Just walk right past him!"
He pointed up to the creatures mouth, where everyone noticed that he no longer had any teeth; just gums!
Roxas twirled the teeth-pullers in his hand like a pro, a pile of large white teeth lying beside him.
Riku laughed. "Why, he's nothing but a teddy bear now! Let me at him!" He ran forward and jumped at him, making the monster jump back in fright. He kept jumping at him and psyching him out, marveling at how he had turned into a complete coward.
But sadly, neither Riku nor the monster saw the cliff behind them, and as Riku jumped on him one last time, the two of them fell down down down.
"Riku!" Lea and Roxas shouted. They both ran to the edge of the cliff and called his name over and over again. "Riku! Riku!"
Lea hung his head. "He's gone," he said. "Gone, gone, gone!"
Everyone mourned deeply for the loss of their friend, but they knew that they had to get everyone home before Christmas. So, with heavy hearts, they all headed back to Christmas Town together.
As soon as they got back and told everyone their story, the people of Christmas Town realized that maybe they had been a little hard on the misfits, and that maybe there was a place for them, too.
Even Ansem admitted he was wrong. "Lea," he said. He put his hands on the young man's shoulders. "I promise, when this storm lets up, I'll find a home for all the misfit toys."
Cid sighed. "Alright," he said. "I guess...you can open up a dentist office near the workshop. But after Christmas!"
Roxas shook his hand excitedly. "You've got yourself a deal!" he cried. "Say, open your mouth."
Reluctantly, Cid opened his mouth and let Roxas take a look. Roxas shook his head. "Tsk, tsk," he tsked. "You're going to have to schedule an appointment with me right after Christmas!"
Cid, taken aback by the thought that he would even have to visit a dentist, just nodded his head like a codfish.
Hayner sat down with his son and had a long chat. "And I'm sorry son," he concluded after spending ten minutes talking about his childhood. "For the way I acted...
Knock! Knock! Knock!
"Open up!" shouted a familiar voice from outside. "This night is neither fit for man or beast!"
As the double doors opened, Riku entered on his sleigh, carrying a leash behind him. "Here's the man," he said, introducing himself. "And here's the beast!"
Everyone gasped as the Abominable came in through the door behind him, a large collar around his neck to where the leash was attached.
"Now, now!" said Riku, putting his hands up to silence everyone. "I've reformed this creature! He wants a job! Just look at what he can do."
The beast stood up, and put a star on the top of the Grand Christmas Tree. Everyone ooed and awed. Now the elves wouldn't have to use a stepladder anymore!
Lea was confused, and so were the others. "But...you went over the side of the cliff!" he cried.
"Didn't I ever tell you?" asked Riku, winking at him. "Abominables bounce!"
Everyone laughed at the little joke he made. (Was it really a joke?)
The next day, there was no more celebrating, for everyone was rushing to get ready for Christmas.
"Papa, eat! EAT!" shrieked Bernadette to her husband, who hadn't even touched his food. "Nobody likes a skinny Santa!"
Ansem groaned. "But how can I eat, when they're singing that song again?" he moaned, pointing towards the elf workshop where they were singing their song from before.
"You're going to disappoint the children!" whined his wife. "They're expecting a fat Santa! Now, eat! EAT!" Her crazy bloodshot eyes got bigger with every word.
Before Ansem could point out that she was CRAZY, an elf walked up to Santa's table. "Here you go, Santa," he said, giving him sheets of paper with the weather reports.
Ansem looked them over and sighed. "It says here that the storm isn't going to clear up before Christmas," he said. He sighed. "It looks like we're going to have to cancel Christmas this year. Oh, the poor children. And they've been so good this year. Oh, well, I'm going to have to go tell everybody" he said.
He slowly strode into the workshop, where everybody was singing and talking and laughing as they put together the presents and the sleigh. "Everyone!" shouted Ansem. "Quiet, please!"
Slowly, everyone went silent to hear what he had to say. "I've...I've got some bad news," he said.
Everyone around him gasped and came closer. "We're...going to have to cancel Christmas this year," said Ansem.
They all started to cry. All that work, for nothing. Ansem put his hands up again to silence them. "I know this is very disappointing to you all," he said. "But it's...it's...ugh, Lea, can you step out of the way? You're hair is right in my eyes, it's driving me...that's it!"
Ansem grabbed each of Lea's shoulders and shook him back and forth. "Your hair! You're grand, beautiful, luscious hair!"
Lea backed away. "Huh?" he said, unsure of whether Ansem was coming onto him or not.
"Everyone!" Ansem shouted. "Christmas is not off! Christmas is most certainly on again, and I want Lea to lead my sleigh team!"
"I-I am?" stuttered Lea, shocked and excited all at the same time.
"Yes you are! You and that wonderful head of hair of yours!" said Ansem, almost reaching out his hand to stroke it.
Lea coiled back. "My hair, sir?" he asked.
"Yes!" shouted Ansem, for he had gone as crazy as his wife. "From what I see, your hair is going to shine through the murkiest storm Mother Nature can dish out!"
All the elves and reindeer trainers smiled in approval as they understood his plan. Ansem cleared his throat nervously, and put his hand on Lea's shoulder. "I guess what I'm trying to say is...Lea, with your hair so bright, won't you guide my sleigh tonight?"
Lea smiled. "It would be an honor, sir!" said Lea. Everyone cheered.
Hayner wiped away a man tear. "I knew that nose would be helpful someday," he said. Pence rolled his eyes.
So the next night, Ansem made sure he was good and fat for his Christmas journey, while Lea saddled onto the first reindeer up front.
First stopping at the Island of Misfit Toys, Ansem made sure that all the toys were put into his bag to give to all the children of the world.
And as for Lea, he went down in history!
The End.
Hope you liked all the random song outbursts! And please R/R!