A/N: Once again, I apologize for the late updates. Exams just keep on coming. Finn and Rachel will be together in the next couple of chapters. I can see this fic getting to chapter 20-25 and then it'll probably be over.

Sometimes I thought my life could never get more screwed up. Then it would just get worse.

Rachel should not be with Sam. The guy was creepy. Plus, he doesn't know her. He doesn't know the specific parts where she started to cry when she watched Funny Girl, or that when she bites her lip and looks up you with her head bowed down she really wants your approval. He doesn't know that she loves Hairspray because Link and Tracy remind her of us. He would never know just how terrible when she cried and you knew it was because of you. He wouldn't know that there was so much more to her than what you saw in Glee club, and more than the perky girl she was outside of Glee. She was also determined, and strong, and pained. She was…complex. And that was what made her really special.

If he hurt her…nothing would ever stop me from crushing his skull. Rach deserves better than some no good guy who would just break her heart. Yeah, Sam's a good guy, but I didn't trust him. I don't trust anyone with my Rachel.

Wait, hold on a second Hudson. Your Rachel? You're dating Quinn. She's not yours anymore.

Whatever. She's still my best friend. I still care about her. She's cute, and smart, and hot, and she helped me with my math homework. And she's sweet and bubbly and kind of crazy. I mean, Rachel isn't perfect. She's crazy and determined and thinks that Barbra Streisand is the only reason to live, but she can be really great when you get her at her best.

Quinn's cool. We had something last year, before the baby drama, right? Sure she yelled at me for trying to get a hobby, insulted my friends, and I was kind of in love with Rachel, but we worked, didn't we? It couldn't have all been bad. We can start over.

Why did everything have to get so complicated when it came to Rachel and Quinn? Couldn't I just date one and that be that? Sure, I may have admitted that I was still in love with Rachel and then gotten back together with Quinn, but after I talked to Sam…I just wanted to do something. I wanted to get back at them. I guess part of me wanted to hurt her like seeing them together hurt me.

Yeah, I know, that makes me sound like a total douche, and maybe that's what I am. But I just couldn't help it. I felt so equal with Rachel. Like I really mattered. Apparently that made me into a selfish jackass.

It wasn't like Quinn was that bad. She could be cool. She was hot, and popular. But that was the thing. Two years ago, that would have qualified a perfect girlfriend for me. Now it didn't. Now I needed more, I expected more. But why should I? Quinn and I aren't going to get married and have kids or anything, we're just dating. Sure, I cared about her, but didn't everybody say that you never find your soul mate in high school? So then what would be the chances of me finding two soul mates, before I was even eighteen?

Why couldn't I stop thinking about this? It was literally all I thought about. In math, in history, in Spanish, in English, especially in Glee club, it was just always on my mind. She was always on my mind. Her laugh, her smile, her lips, her legs…I could never get rid of her. It was like I was tethered to her. I just didn't know why.

Because you love her.

I had to stop listening to Kurt.