Disclaimer: I do not own Durarara! and this original storyline is not my idea. It is based on fan-made comic strips by Akio from Pixiv. Please view her/his comics first. ^_^ His/Her art is awesome, by the way.
Part 1: zerochan(dot)net/709697
Part 2: zerochan(dot)net/733582
Part 3: zerochan(dot)net/764403
Part 4: zerochan(dot)net/821130 [FINAL]
Akio's other works (that are from zerochan) : zerochan(dot)net/Akio
My other translations: zerochan(dot)net/user/Xxmilky-candy1996xX
Full summary: Other than strength, it seemed that Shizuo had developed another ability—one that enables him to see Izaya's future deaths. Thinking that the only one allowed to kill the flea was him, Shizuo stopped those deaths. What he refuses to admit, however, was how stopping them—and those to come—would take a toll on his feelings and mind. Warning: numerous character deaths, dark Shizuo.
Reaching For That Hand
Chapter 4
~ Izaya's PoV ~
"Hey… Shizu-chan? !" was all he managed to utter when the supposed-to-be-invincible Heiwajima Shizuo suddenly slumped forward and fell in a dead faint. People turned their heads to look with shocked interest; of course, you don't get to see somebody like Heiwajima Shizuo faint just like that. And to those who knew of the twisted relationship between Izaya and him, were wondering what exactly he would do next. If things come to worst, he may seize the golden opportunity to terminate his number one enemy, once and for all, and they would get to witness a murder.
Honestly at the time Izaya felt a million questions invading his mind regarding Shizuo's… unnatural reaction, but as usual, kept his cool and tried to decide between taking the big brute to Shinra's or just kick him aside and leave him there.
For the moment he was compelled to leave him there since he could not imagine himself with the monster's arm around his shoulder as he walked them all the way to Shinra's, even with the burning curiosity to know what exactly had happened to him. No effing way.
But his hopes were shattered when he heard someone familiar crying out Shizuo's name with disbelief—Kadota Kyohei. He only noticed Izaya after he pushed through the crowd and found himself in the middle of the little ring of people surrounding them.
They had brought Shizuo to the van, which was nearby, and ignored Erika's chatter about how lovingly angsty the way Shizuo just passed out in the middle of the street like that, and how Izaya just 'happened' to be there.
Thank god Kadota had told the rest of his gang to go home and leave them alone.
It was totally worth it even if it meant Togusa or Walker couldn't stick around to help him carry Shizuo up to Shinra's floor.
And now, Shizuo lay in the couch as Shinra did a quick check-up on him, with the other two being harassed by Celty's questions. Though Izaya would've felt better if only Shinra had told them to haul their acquaintance to one of the guest rooms so he wouldn't have to feel the disgust bubbling inside him, he had told them to just lay him in one of the couches instead since it didn't look too serious. Izaya excused himself from Celty's torrent of questions and went straight to the kitchen sink to wash his hands of whatever germs he could have gotten from him. Yes, he was being cruel but as long as the other person didn't find out, everything would be fine.
A few minutes later they sat in a different section of the large living room, with tea and some biscuits spread across the coffee table. Kadota was the first to ask.
"So… What's wrong with him?"
Shinra turned briefly to glance at the couch Shizuo was currently sleeping on behind him, and then sighed. "He doesn't seem to have been involved with any fights, no wounds whatsoever, and no other substance in his body would've amounted to that sort of reaction. I checked and he doesn't seem to be sick either. But if you look at him closely you'll see that he's lost a bit of weight and there are dark circles under his eyes. I could only think of it as a result of stress, maybe from overworking or worrying about something else or even lack of sleep. But, you know Shizuo, this type of thing… shouldn't have occurred to a person like him. I'm thinking of asking him about it when he wakes up later, and I hope I'll get an answer out of it. But for now let's just leave him be."
Like Shinra said, this kind of thing shouldn't have occurred to a monster like Shizuo. Izaya had corrected the phrase Shinra used. No matter how you look at him, he is not in any way like a normal human being. But knowing that Shizuo had actually lost weight and didn't sleep well unleashed a fierce urge for him to know why.
"Well," Kadota started, trying to relieve the tension, and secretly glancing Izaya's way to see how he was taking this in, hoping that he won't think of something reckless to do. "Since we're all here anyways, and looking at the time, why don't we just buy some food and eat here? Might as well do a little reunion party since us four are rarely in the same place at the same time."
"Oooh~" Shinra clapped his hands together. "Are we drinking?"
Izaya smirked. "Since Shizu-chan can't hold down his alcohol much, we can use it for him to tell us what he's not telling later on…" he mused in a voice too low for anyone to hear. "I'm in, I'm in!" he said cheerfully. "So I'll be going out with Dota-chi—"
"Well then! Celty will be out on a job in a few minutes so might as well send my love off~ Kadota and I will go and buy food, so Izaya, won't you stay home and look after Shizuo a bit? Promise me you won't do anything to him, though. You don't even have to sit that close to him; all you gotta do is check up on him from time to time," Shinra said, already starting to gather his stuff.
"…Eh. W-Wait, Shinra, I can't—" Izaya started, although he already knew he would have lost anyway with the doctor being this energetic. Usually Shinra would move aside if Izaya made his point clear, but on rare occasions when the doctor got a little too excited he won't back down from something he's decided, no matter how twisted Izaya's logic got him to bribe his way out. Which was why Izaya sometimes lost to him during his high-stubbornness phases.
Izaya really did regret now he hadn't left quickly when he met Shizuo earlier.
~ Shizuo's PoV ~
Chatter filled his ringing ears at one point, and, feeling annoyed at those who dared to disturb his sleep, opened his eyes. His head was too fuzzy at the moment so he never did wonder about why there were people there to pull him out of his sleep in the first place. The first thing he saw when he opened his eyes was Shinra though, so it made sense. He was smiling down at him.
He tried to sit up, but Shinra stopped him by placing a firm hand on his chest, forcing him to lie back down. "You can't get up yet. You gotta rest for a while. Do you remember what happened?"
"… I was hit by a bus?"
"No, you passed out earlier. Izaya and Kadota brought you here a while ago."
Izaya…? Ah, now he remembered. "Oh…"
"I wasn't going to ask this until later, but… Did something happen to you these few days? Are you stressed out or something?"
"Ah…" He can't possibly tell him about all the visions he'd been getting, could he? It would only either make him worry about him—and his mental health—all the more or experiment on him. He averted his gaze and focused on the couch he was lying down on. "… It's nothing."
"But Shizuo…"
"You see, I kind of want to tell you, but I can't," Shizuo said quietly. True, he would give anything if it meant he could get any proper advice on what to do after this. All those fucked-up death visions made his feelings turn against one another; when he thought he wouldn't help one particular time for sure, he went ahead and looked for Izaya anyway, one minute he was hungry and prepared a meal, the next minute he'd suddenly lose his appetite and in the end all the food ends up in the trash.
He didn't want to admit that lately, more frequently, Izaya kept invading his mind, causing him to mess up.
There was a little pause as Shinra stared at Shizuo earnestly, trying to figure out what he was hiding. Shizuo was the type of person whose feelings show on their face easily and you can read them like a book, and judging by the way those eyebrows knit together, his eyes downcast, his lower lip looking like it was being chewed, and how he didn't put up a fight when Shinra told him to lie back down, and didn't have that much violent a reaction at the mention of Izaya's name, ensured him that something was worrying his friend deeply, but seeing as how he wasn't ready to tell him, he decided to not to push things any further.
"Okay," he said, patting his arm. "Celty has a job, and Kadota and I are going out to buy dinner, so you and Izaya have to stay at home for a while." He expected for Shizuo to flare up with rage at the mere thought of him and the so-called 'flea' having to stay in the same room for some time, but he took him by surprise.
Shizuo just nodded sullenly and turned to the side. "I'm going back to sleep," he mumbled.
~ Izaya's PoV ~
Izaya, with his chin propped up with his hand, stared at the TV screen without interest, channel-surfing but found nothing he could set his eyes on for more than five minutes. In the end he turned it off altogether, and regretted it a little since the silence produced after that was unnerving. He could faintly hear Shizuo breathing, deep and even. It made him wonder if he really was lacking sleep.
"But of course, I could just kill him right now and get it over with," he muttered, staring at his reflection in the empty screen.
He got up and made his way to the couch where Shizuo was sleeping in, and crouched in front of him, staring at his face. One would think that when you finally get some good sleep after a lot of stress your face would be relaxed, calm; but in Shizuo's case, even if he did manage to sleep his features were not at all relaxed. Truth be told it looked like he was having a nightmare.
This isn't… because of me, is it? Izaya thought, glancing at the bowl filled with cool water set on the smooth marble floor, and at the cloth in it. After all, this all seemed to start since the construction site incident.
He didn't know why, but he kind of… felt guilty when he looked at the tall man, eyebrows knit together, fists clenching, and perspiration glazing his forehead. He hesitated for quite some time. If he decided to pick up that cloth, wring it out and wipe Shizuo's face it would be a huge blow to his ego and pride. If he decided not to, he would have to find another way to get rid of that strange feeling within him, the very same feeling that enveloped him that one time when they were on the roof of the building with Shizuo resting his head on his shoulder.
He bit his lower lip as his fingers slowly reached for the cloth. I just need to wipe his sweat. That's all there is to it. If I get it done quickly I can get away from this monster. He drew in a deep breath as he settled the cool cloth against the man's brow, hoping against hope that he wouldn't suddenly wake up as he felt the cool sensation. If it did it would only lead to more arguing, and both of them will get scolded at by Shinra, Kadota, and most likely by Celty, too.
Izaya finished it soon and dumped the cloth back into the bowl, heaving a huge sigh of relief. He hadn't woken up. Then suddenly, it occurred to him. Why should he, of all people, have to wipe his sick archenemy's forehead? He scooted away from the other man and stood up instantly, frowning. Why should he help someone who'd done nothing but mess up his beautifully-executed plans? Why should he help someone who had left that bruise around his wrist?
And why should he help someone who'd managed to mess up his inner feelings like this?
Izaya's frown deepened and he got closer to Shizuo, and poked his cheek.
"I am not going to stay here any longer, Shizu-chan. Having you in the same room as me just makes me nauseous. And I don't care whether Dota-chin buys me ootoro or not. And I will make you thank me, mark my words," he said aloud, and then turned to leave, only to have his wrist locked in a strong grip and pulled. The force of the pull caused him to fall down on his butt.
It was something Izaya thought ungraceful for anyone to see, especially when he was supposed to be the most composed person in all of Tokyo.
"Owowow… What, Shizu-chan? !" He turned to look at Shizuo in the face. He had on this looking-like-a-sick-person expression he had never seen before, with half-lidded eyes and cheeks a little bit red. Seeing that sort of look made his cheeks grow hot, however, and Izaya guessed that he probably had a little red dusting his cheeks too.
"Iza…ya…"
The informant's eyes widened in confusion. He wasn't sure whether Shizuo was still somewhere in his dream world and was sleep-talking or whether he really saw Izaya right there in front of him. Any way it didn't seem like Shizuo would act normally soon.
"What," he snapped. "I was just on my way home. You can wait a little while for Shinra and Dota-chin to come back right?"
"… Don't go…"
"What?"
"Don't go… If you go, you'll die… Construction site… Blood…"
Yep. Shizuo was definitely sleep-talking. "What are you trying to say? I don't get you."
"… Don't go near any construction sites."
"Haa? !" Now that really ticked him off, who was he, trying to tell him where to go to and where not? "Shizu-chan, I am not—"
"Promise."
Izaya fell silent. It was really getting awkward. Shizuo has never behaved like this before. And he couldn't get used to the sudden change.
"Promise me you won't go to any construction sites…"
"But, well, why?"
"I… don't want to… see you die… anymore, so…" He brought Izaya's hand close to his face, pressing the ring on his forefinger against his cheek. "Please…"
Izaya blushed, not believing how his enemy had easily took hold of his hand and was now snuggling against it. He could feel his hot breath ghosting against his skin every time he exhaled. He tried to process what he had just heard in his mind. Was he going to die? At a construction site? Highly unlikely. If he could avoid Shizuo's flying artillery he could avoid anything from a construction site. Unless, of course, the whole building just decided to collapse on him.
No wait.
How would he know if Shizuo was just dreaming about it? Izaya's frown deepened.
But then, if he was only dreaming, then why did he say stuff like 'I don't want to see you die anymore'?
Izaya's mouth hung open. Did he actually dream about him dying multiple times? ! The nerve!
Then he thought of the incidents that happened since the time they were at the construction site. The truck incident. The time on the building. And with the yakuza. And also with that fucking drunkard who'd tricked him.
Each and every of those times, Shizuo was there. He never thought much about it before. During those times he could've died if he made a small mistake. But just when he thought he would perish Shizuo was there to pull him out. He would suddenly appear, bring him out of the mess and disappear again without a word.
Was he talking about those times?
Did he have, like, psychic powers or something? Izaya doubted it. But then again, this is Ikebukuro. If strong monsters like Shizuo and headless drivers like Celty exist, and Saika, having psychic powers isn't that strange when you think about it.
But it was all pretty complicated. Shizuo could have simply been to those places coincidentally, and he could have dreamed about it all and said those words to Izaya. In his dream world he may have conjured up an idea like him dying multiple times.
But even if he was there—coincidentally—he surely wouldn't have went out of his way to save the 'fucking flea', would he?
After all, he wanted him to die, didn't he?
Izaya shook his head to get all those confusing information out of his system, and looked back at Shizuo. He had went back to sleep again, but somehow Izaya could feel in his veins that if he woke up the next time he probably would not be happy to see Izaya right in front of his face. What's more, he was holding his hand. And was snuggling against it.
Izaya pulled his hand out slowly and went back to watching TV. Suddenly he didn't feel like going back anymore, and decided to stay long enough for some free food and drinks.
It has been three days since then.
When they were enjoying themselves, eating and drinking and him savoring his heavenly ootoro, Shizuo woke up, said a quick 'thank you' to Kadota and Shinra—not to him, yes, he noticed—grabbed a package of the sushi Kadota bought and left the place, not before throwing a cold glare Izaya's way. His actions at the time didn't tell Izaya if he'd forgotten about their earlier occurrence or whether he was glaring at him and sending a silent message telling him to forget all about it.
But he didn't mind.
Somehow Shizu-chan's behavior now was more interesting to him than just pissing him off and getting himself chased down the streets of Ikebukuro. And more unpredictable than usual.
Izaya stared down at the mug of coffee in his hand, stirring its contents and letting the rising steam heat up his face.
He wasn't sure if Shizuo's 'predictions' were right, but he had somewhere he had to be tomorrow, in a section of Ikebukuro, and nearby he heard that there was a construction site for a high-rise building. He couldn't be sure that he would avoid it altogether since what he said was probably all rubbish anyway, but he wanted to see how it goes.
Would Shizu-chan appear if he showed up in that area?
And how would he react?
He thought of the way Shizuo made him promise not to go near any construction sites that night. He smiled. Sure, Shizuo told him to promise…
But he never confirmed it.
So… Sorry for making both Izaya and Shizuo so OOC in this chapter… ;_; I'm kind of getting the feeling that the OOC-ness will increase in the following chapters since I intend to make Shizuo a little more… desperate. DX
Still, I hope you liked it.