Perplexities of Growing Up
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the places or characters used here except for Náriël-I did invent her and if she resembles anyone else's character in anyway, I'm sorry- not done on purpose. Everything else belongs to Tolkien.
A/N:
OMG! Im sooooooo sorry I haven't updated in forever!!! I started school, my junior yr, and ive been completely swamped w/ work!!! It's absolutely insane!!! I've been wanting to write so much and I just couldn't find the time, I hope I haven't lost any readers/reviewers! o.o once again, im so sorry!
Chapter 12
POV: Legolas
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I don't think you notice
when I can't reach out
I guess you're waiting
on somebody else again
Oh, so much for talking
It's all been said before
I'm hearing something
but I wish you'd just say more
But you're going off again
when I try to just hold on
But you're going off
(Finding Me by Vertical Horizon)
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A heavy feeling hung over my heart and weighed it down as if it were strapped to a boulder. I couldn't figure out why this bothered me so much. Why did it upset me so much?
'Because you know that elf is no good'
I scowled to myself as I made my way through the thickets and to the large waterfall on the other side. I needed some time to think; some time for myself.
'What is this elleth doing to me? I shouldn't be feeling this way...I have no right...'
I wouldn't let that thought continue. No. Yet, I can't help having it flit through my mind. I quickly felt a familiar pang of sorrow creep into my heart as an image flashed before my eyes.
'No, I'm not going to do this to myself again.'
Taking a deep breath I decided to return to the festivities, hoping to keep my mind occupied there. For the rest of the night I tried to avoid both Náriël and Aniolad; which turned out to be quite easy, seeing as Náriël was trying to avoid me, and Aniolad left altogether.
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The next few days passed by quickly, yet rather awkwardly. I wouldn't exactly have said that Náriël and I were on speaking terms. However, about a week after the ball, she finally approached me.
I was sitting outside on a bench, just reflecting and indulging in life in general. It was so peaceful that all I wanted was to freeze the moment. The air was thick and heavy, a summer storm hung threateningly in the air. I didn't mind though, I loved the rain in the summer. I loved to walk in the cool showers when it was warm...it made everything around me appear in such vivid greens
She stepped up behind me, breaking my train of thought. I knew it was her without even turning around. There was something about her presence that I just always recognized.
"Náriël."
"Legolas..."
She seemed slightly surprised and taken aback by the fact that I knew it was her. I smiled a small half-smile at that. Closing my eyes I took a deep breath, taking in the scent of the pre-rain air. The storm was going to break any minute...it was so heavy I could smell it.
She started again.
"Legolas...I'm sorry about the way I acted at the ball...and...I-I'm sorry I have been avoiding you. But I just, I thought you were angry with me, and didn't really mind my not talking to you."
"So what suddenly changed your mind about how I probably felt?"
I wasn't really angry, and I most certainly would have rather talked to her than avoided talking to her, but I was just curious to hear this.
"Well, I thought it probably best I ...ask first."
I spun around so that I had my right arm draped over the back of the bench with my upper body facing Náriël. I couldn't help but grin at what she just said.
POV: Náriël
I could see the playfulness twinkling in his eyes and a grin spread over his soft, yet slightly angular features. Relief immediately ran throughout my body. I really had felt awful the entire week after the ball.
I gave him a smile in return and picked up my dress so that I would not trip over the long skirts. I walked to the other side of the bench and sat down beside him. Neither of us spoke for a while. We just sat there in a comfortable silence, and we were content.
"Legolas?"
"Yes?"
He turned to me and I was once again amazed by how brilliantly blue his eyes were, especially against the darkening sky. It was about to pour, I could feel it. But I didn't care; I was happy just where I was.
"I know I have been a pain most of the summer, and I'm sorry. Half of the summer is already over, and I feel like I've gotten no where. I really haven't done anything this summer when I look back."
"What are you saying? You actually want me to teach you something?"
He raised an eyebrow at me. He looked absolutely adorable.
I couldn't help but giggle in response, which surprised me because I don't giggle very often! He raised both eyebrows at this and I attempted to stifle my laughs. Nodding in response, I voiced myself.
"Yes, I suppose that's what I'm saying...that is, if you still want to teach me?"
He slightly smiled before responding.
"Of course I do."
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The next month was spent mostly outdoors. Legolas taught me everything from archery, to sword play, to what it felt like to be treated as a lady. He was always a gentleman around me and I soon found myself conscious of things that I had never really been conscious of before.
I wanted to look my best when I saw him, and I even ended things with Aniolad. Legolas helped me understand that I didn't belong with him, whether he realized it or not. Before I broke it off completely with Aniolad, I found myself comparing the two, and Legolas would always win.
I smiled to myself at that thought. I had been spending so much time with Legolas lately. My feelings quickly became jumbled up and confusing.
'Am I falling for him?'
I shook my head.
'No, not Legolas. He's like...my best friend now...and that's it.'
I furtively stole a glance at the handsome elf beside me. It was a beautiful day in late August. Warm, but one could tell that summer was coming to a close. Some of the trees had leaves that were already changing and a cool breeze swept its fingers through our hair.
This morning, we had decided on a long walk. We actually thought we'd spend the day in the woods. Not for training purposes...not for riding lessons, but just to enjoy ourselves. I heaved a sigh. Yes, summer was ending. And that meant that Legolas would be leaving soon. He would be going home.
'When will I see you again?'
"Is something wrong?"
His deep voice broke through my thoughts. I was probably giving him a sad look of longing –how embarrassing. I shook my head in the negative and stared in front of me. We continued to walk in silence.
It was getting close to midday when I noticed a small path diverging to the right. It seemed so inviting. Something about the path drew me to it and urged me to follow it –to see where it would lead me.
I turned and it was as if the path were enchanted. It seemed that autumn had already set in. The earth below was covered in scattered leaves of gold and red. A small breeze passed through, sending shivers down my spine despite the strong sun overhead. I could vaguely make out Legolas following me from behind.
POV: Author
Legolas saw Náriël turn and go down a small path. Without saying a word, he followed. Something about where they were going seemed to call forth a sort of déjà vu . He felt like he was walking in a daze. His heart had a deep foreboding feeling settle about it. Yet he couldn't help himself; his feet seemed to be moving of their own accord. His curious nature won over and he gave in to the urge to keep moving forward.
He walked on, several paces behind Náriël. Legolas suddenly stopped.
He couldn't breathe.
It was as if some one had seized him by the throat and was crushing his lungs...cutting off his air supply. He felt like he was going to vomit. Black spots began to form before his eyes. He wanted to cry out but couldn't. A familiar panic spread through his body as memories flashed before him. How was it that he hadn't noticed until it was too late? He never should have come back here.
A/N:
Once again, so sorry for taking forever, but I should warn you guys that my updates are gonna be slow now (sighs). AP classes suck X( please just bear with me! o.o;; and don't forget to REVIEW!!!! Also, I know this is kind of a short chapter, but I guess its more of a set up chapter. It's prob gonna take me a while to do updates from now on, but I feel like ive gotten back into the groove of writing, so ill try my best to make the next update pretty quickly...maybe every weekend if im lucky. Anyhoo....please reviewwwww!!!!!!
ONE OTHER THING! Just out of curiosity, does anyone know the technoish song called "Children" by Robert Miles? I LOVE the song, its absolutely gorgeous and I was thinking about using it instead of the Moonlight Sonata but I decided the later fit better. Anyway, im thinking about using Children in another chapter later on, but I wanna know if anyone actually knows it or not, cause if no one knows it, it'll kinda be pointless for me to put it in.
Michelle Moonshine: well, I am going w/ my original idea, and honestly, I think I like it better myself! lol. anyhoo, thanks so much for your enthusiasm! It makes me so damn happy! LoL!!! my story is taking a twist to the more angsty side now...so I guess there wont be anymore cute moments like for a little bit. But don't worry, ill make it good, theres gotta be a bit of drama ya know?
Mush: sorry, I decided to go w/ the depressed Legolas. I think it'll add some good drama to the story...and I like reading fanfics with some drama. Well, I hope you like it anyway.
Unski: I completely agree with you! And as far elves feeling things deeper...well, you'll see soon enough just how right you are.
Beagle: yay!! (does happy dance) that chapter was so fun to write! Thanks so much!!!
Eryn Galen: thanks, and sorry you had to wait so long
CrzySxyCoolPirateOfMirkwood: hehe, don't worry bout it, im a total hopeless romantic myself (grins)
TK: hey hey! Thanks for the review!!!
The Luckiest: (huge ass grin) thanks SO much! I think im gonna add music stuff like lyrics or w/e for most of my chapters now just because I think music can really set the mood ya know? anyhoo, hope you enjoyed this chapter!
Crecy: thanks! Sorry it took me so long to update...grrrr...school... -.-
ShopGirl1: thanks so much! Im really glad you like Náriël's character. To answer your question tho, yes you are gonna find out about Legolas's past and why he acts the way he does sometimes. You'll also begin to understand why he sometimes says the things that he does...like when he made the comment about not being allowed to like Náriël a few chapters back. As far as the quote that you put in goes, that was more of him saying that shes kinda ignorant and naïve...like she doesn't even consider what Aniolad could really do to her if he wanted to (ie rape her or something). Anyway, to give you a hint of what is to come, ill just say that I have a lot of foreshadowing in my writing. Esp. concerning things that Legolas tends to say.
RubyLoamsDown: hehe, im really glad you like my story so much. It makes me happy to know that ppl actually enjoy reading my writing! : )
Tiger6: thanks! I want a dress like that too! Haha. About the spelling...I guess I switch because im not quite sure which one is correct -.-;; (I think its Elven) sorry.
Elven at Heart: YAY! Thank soooo much! I agree! I think ch. 11 was one of my best ones so far and its my favorite so far too! And she had to kiss the other elf because stuff like that happens. Shes still sorta confused, or at least she WAS confused. Besides, I like drama LOL! anyway, Aniolad still has a role to play in the story, so were not rid of him yet. Hehe.
Zurgiea: thanks for adding me to ur favorites! And ur right, it is just a story and I think that those people shouldn't read fanfiction, especially if all theyre gonna do is bash it. Im not quite done with the Silmarillion cause I just haven't had time to read. Ive got all this crap to read for school (sighs) anyway, I really liked the LOTR trilogy and the Hobbit. I've gotta start the HP series now hehe.
WindSorceress: hah, this chapter was def. not much happier huh? the next few chapters aren't gonna be very happy. In fact, I think that the next chapter will probably be one of the saddest ones in my story. Maybe even the next two. But don't worry, things have a tendency of working out...I believe in fate (smiles) now then...Legolas wearing that...I can totally imagine that myself (sighs) and it's a VERY nice image. lol ya know, I kinda want a dress like Náriël's myself o.o
Icy Lullaby: HEY! I resent being called a manwhore! XP lol! so I like attention...what can I say? Heh, actually, I used to be VERY shy myself...anyway, im glad that everyone seemed to really like the dress and that moment btwn Náriël and Legolas...I mean, while I was writing it I was actually listening to the Moonlight Sonata just to get myself in the mood of the story...and while I was rereading it too and I was totally entranced with the music and stuff. Gosh id love to have a moment like that...im sucha hopeless romantic! Lol!
Green Eyed Elf Goddess: yep, it sure is! (grins) hope you liked this chapter
Lazydoll06: so good to hear from you again! Thought id lost you for a while there lol!
Austin B: thanks a lot! I put so much into that one scene between Legolas and Náriël. I wanted it to...magical I guess you could say...I mean, I could see it all playing out in my mind as I was writing (dreamy sigh)
Jack-Sparrow-Lover: heh I guess shes finally realizing her feelings...or somewhat admitting to them...at least to herself anyway.
Maxie: a new reviewer! Yay! Glad you like the story, sorry that the update took forever.