Okay, here is the 17th chapter of Those Darned SVU Songfics! Enjoy, and please don't forget to review! The song for this one is What Hurts The Most, by Rascal Flatts.
This chapter is dedicated to onetreefan, addicted, and Kelly. Ya'll rock!!
Disclaimer: They ain't mine... Grr..
"Elliot!" she cried happily as she ran to him. He met her halfway, snatching her up in his arms and locking her against his chest.
"Hi, babe," he greeted her, kissing her forehead as she threw her arms around his neck.
She moved to kiss him.
Olivia awoke to the rain beating against her window. Reaching across the bed, she sighed as the memories flooded back, and tears fell from her eyes. After a minute she pulled herself out of her bed, laying her hand instinctively over her large stomach. It had only been six months since she lost him, but still…
I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don't bother me
I can take a few tears now
And then and just let them out
Padding into her living room, she slipped her shoes on as she got ready for work. She had been put on desk duty nearly six months ago, right after she had lost her partner. But she still showed up everyday.
"I have to do something to keep myself sane," she had once told Cragen bitterly after he had suggested that she take her maternity leave early.
As she walked through her living room, something caught her eye. It was a picture of her and Elliot at the Christmas ball. He was standing behind her, his arms wrapped around her waist, his chin resting on her shoulder. They both had secretive grins on their faces, as though they held something that no one else knew.
Touching the picture reverently, she felt the tears slip down her cheeks. "Damn you, Elliot! Why'd you do it?" she sobbed, the picture falling from her hands and landing safely on the plush carpet. As she cried, her mind traveled back to that fateful day's events.
6 months ago…
The alleyway was dark and dank as Elliot and Olivia skidded through it, hot on Taylor's heels. Suddenly, they were at a dead end, and they edged slowly towards Taylor, their guns trained on him.
Olivia was a step ahead of Elliot, and her heart stopped when she saw the cold metal glint in the fluorescent light of the moon. He must've saw it too, because the next thing she knew, Elliot had ran in front of her just as the guns went off.
Taylor went down first.
Olivia screamed as her partner stumbled backwards, collapsing into her arms. They both sank to the ground, and Olivia desperately ran her hands over her partner's body, searching for the wound that was the source of the crimson blood spilling over her hands and onto the ground.
"Elliot? Elliot, stay with me!" she said, fighting back tears. He looked confused.
"My… chest hurts, Liv," he mumbled, and his eyes slid shut.
"Elliot! El, I need you to open your eyes. C'mon, open your eyes," she begged, and he looked up at her.
"Love… love you, Olivia," he whispered, and his eyes closed again. She pulled him closer against her and sobbed, rocking back and forth.
It wasn't until she was at the hospital that she found out that he had died in her arms.
I'm not afraid to cry every once in while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I'm okay
But that's not what gets me
Wiping the tears from her eyes, Olivia rubbed her large stomach. After her transfer to computer crimes and just a week before Elliot's shooting, they had spent one night together. And one night was all it had taken. She hadn't found out until a month after the incident. She thought had been suffering from a virus, but when she had gone to the doctor, he had informed her that she was pregnant. And every day since then, she had thanked God for blessing her with a piece of Elliot, and cursed Elliot for leaving her alone to raise their child.
A knock at her front door snapped Olivia out of her thoughts, and she shouted, "Door's unlocked, Alex!" The door opened, revealing a very flustered Alex Cabot.
"It's snowing out there!" Alex sputtered, and Olivia laughed lightly.
"It's New York. What do you expect, Counselor?"
Alex shot her a look, then said, "Come on, Olivia. We're gonna be late."
What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could've been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do
As Olivia stepped into the bullpen, she could feel every set of eyes in the room bore into her, and she took a deep breath and waddled to her desk, carefully lowering herself into her chair.
"Hey, Olivia," Munch greeted, handing her a cup of juice and a muffin. "Shouldn't you be at home resting?"
Olivia managed a tight smile at her coworker. "I should, but I'd lose what little sanity I have left." He nodded, and they got to work.
It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I'm doing it
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends
And I'm alone
Later that night, Olivia was laying in her bed, unable to sleep.
I should've told him how much I loved him, she thought, staring into the darkness. Maybe I wouldn't be hurting this badly. Closing her eyes, she could see Elliot's smiling face and his amazing blue eyes.
I hope he has his daddy's eyes. I hope he looks just like Elliot. She hadn't wanted to know the baby's sex, but she had a feeling, deep down, that it was a little boy.
I love you, El. I hope you know that, she thought as she faded off to sleep.
A sharp pain in her stomach made Olivia gasp, and she opened her eyes in panic. Shifting slightly, she realized that the bed was wet, and she thought, Oh my God, my water broke! My baby's coming! As she thought that, a contraction made her cry out in pain, and she reached over and grabbed her phone, hitting the speed dial for Alex's apartment.
Hello? Alex answered groggily.
"Alex, I need you to come get me!"
Liv, what's wrong?
"I'm having the baby!"
Okay, I'll be there in ten minutes. Just stay put.
Olivia hung up the phone and rubbed her stomach in fear and anticipation.
Ten minutes later, Alex rushed into Olivia's apartment, and Olivia looked up from her seat on the couch.
"Ready to go?" Alex asked as calmly as possible. Olivia nodded, and Alex helped her to her feet, guiding her out of the apartment and into Alex's awaiting car.
Still harder getting up, getting dressed, living with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade, give away, show the words that I saved
In my heart that I left unspoken
The next night, Olivia and Alex sat on the hospital bed, staring down at the baby in Alex's arms. A knock at the door announced visitors, and Olivia said, "Come on in, everybody." The door opened, and Alex and Olivia watched as Cragen, Munch, Fin, George and Melinda walked into the room. They surrounded her bed, but Cragen hung back and waited for his turn as each of the visitors hugged Olivia.
"We won't stay long, baby girl, but we had to come by and see the little one," Fin said, kissing Olivia's cheek. The group murmured their agreement, and she smiled, tears glistening in her eyes.
"Thanks, everybody. It really means a lot to me that you're all here. And I want you all to know that you're all be aunts and uncles."
"Except Don. He's a grandpa," Munch corrected, and everyone laughed. Cragen tried to look angry, but Olivia knew he was thrilled with the idea of having a grandchild to spoil.
"Okay, everybody, let's go," Cragen said, and the group filed back out of the room. But Cragen walked up to Olivia, an especially bright twinkle in his eyes. "Are you feeling up for one more visitor?" he asked with a grin. She couldn't think of who could be left.
"Okay," she agreed, and Cragen's smile grew wider, piquing Olivia's curiosity. Who on earth could he be so excited about her agreeing to see? Cragen walked back out of the room, and Olivia looked at Alex, who looked just as confused as Olivia.
"If it's Trevor Langan, I'll throw up all over him," Alex muttered, and Olivia suppressed a laugh. She started to say something, but she stopped when she saw the color drain from Alex's face. "What's wrong, Alex?" Olivia demanded worriedly.
"Son of a bitch," Alex choked out, and Olivia followed her stare to the door. Cragen stepped into the room, grinning like an idiot. The second person walked in, and Olivia felt like the wind had been knocked out of her.
"Hey, Liv," he said softly, his brilliant cerulean eyes meeting her chocolate brown ones.
"El… Elliot?" she whispered, staring disbelievingly at her "dead" partner. He took a step towards her, and she outstretched her arms almost unconsciously. That was all the encouragement he needed. In three steps he was standing beside her, wrapping his arms around her.
"Oh God, oh God," she cried, burying her face in his neck.
"No, not God. Elliot," he teased, fighting back his own tears. As they continued to cling to each other, Alex laid the baby in the clear bassinet and followed Cragen out of the room.
What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could've been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do
An hour later, Olivia snuggled closer against Elliot's side, smiling as he cradled their son in his arms.
"I love you, Liv," he said softly, kissing the top of her head, then kissing the baby's forehead. "And I love you, Christopher Elliot. I love both of you so much."
Olivia craned her neck upward and kissed the underside of his jaw, pressing her face into his neck. "I love you too, El. More than you know."
What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could've been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do
Not seeing that loving you
That's what I was trying to do
The End...
A/N: Okay, that one had been floating around since August, and I JUST got around to finishing it. Please don't forget to review and lemme know how I'm doing! Have a happy and safe holiday, and if you drink and drive, make it milk!