At the Bottom of Jaggerjaw Bay…
The water had finally settled around the coral spires and shipwrecks of Jaggerjaw Bay. While the rest of the island participated in the wedding above, a forgotten figure lay motionless at its bottom. The bright red armored body of Torteau was sprawled out on in the sand in typical fashion for a decapitated body. The head of the crab man rested several yards away, wearing the same flabbergasted look it had when it was severed from its body.
A sneeze interrupted the serenity of the water, a few telltale bubbles rising to the surface. Slowly one of the eyestalks of the severed head dared to open, scanning the area for any sign. "There is no one…" the head spoke before both of its eyes opened, its moustache twitching in indignation, "Does my body not even get a proper burial? Shouldn't someone be searching for me at least by now?" Satisfied he was completely alone, Torteau grunted as several small legs and two tiny crab pincers popped out of his body. "Even if they did know that decapitation isn't fatal to us crabs, what with all the vital organs being stored in our heads, shouldn't someone at least have come looking for me? I am the chef after all."
Torteau swam with his new tiny legs over to what once was his body. "Well, I suppose this shows how much I'm appreciated around here. Let them scrape together peasant dishes for all I care! I will simply be appreciated elsewhere!"
The frustrated crab got to work burrowing in the sand to bury the shell, all the while filling the silence with his own somber melody…
"Look at this shell,
Broken and cracked.
Wouldn't you think that they'd cut me some slack?
Wouldn't you think that the chef
Would be a bit respected."
"I miss my stove
and recipes bold
How many dishes did my kitchen hold?
Looking at my body here you'd think
What should I've expected?"
"I've got sirloins and fillet's a-plenty
I've got chocolates and cheeses galore
You want dessert courses? I've got 20!"
"But who cares?
Who needs them
I want more"
I want to be where the people are
I want to see
Want to see them cooking
Over a boiling pot
Strung up by their feet!"
"Killing them too soon will spoil the meal
Patience is required for freshness, tenderness
for the moistest, delicious
divine dish of meat."
"Sprinkle some parsley
and marinating brine
Serve with a 15-year glass of red wine."
A delicious supper
Pass the black pepper
Part of my meal."
"But everyone looked
At their precious cook
As a diseased animal.
I cooked their meals
What a raw deal
For them to stab
Me in the back
With verbal attacks
And they all called me a cannibal."
"For eating humans
But I'm not human
I'm a crab"
"They're not ready to know what my palate knows
They're all philistines, idiots and apes
If they made themselves cereal
It'd probably burn
When's will they learn?
When will I eat
Again some delicious human meat?"
"Surely not here
Guess I'll disappear
Because I deserve more
Than to just settle the score
For part of my meal."
His old shell buried, the bitter crab swam out into the open sea to seek his fortune elsewhere in the world, vowing never to return to the island again...
Author's Notes:
Bonus Chapter for you all this new year. Would have gotten this up at Christmas but I left my flash drive at work over the holidays.
Good news for you all: the second arc will start soon. The plan is currently to get the first chapter up on the 9th, my birthday, as a birthday present to you all (wait, that's not how it works). As for my previous concerns with continuity, I'll try to find a way to explain discrepancies, but in the end, there will likely be some contradictions. Oh well. I guess that's why it's called fanfiction.
I'll have the start of another story in a different shounen at the same time. I'll leave that as a surprise. Happy holidays everyone!