"Noah, how many women have you been with?"
Quinn was actually glad the question was being asked. It was something she'd always been curious about to.
Puck didn't hesitate. "Eight." His brow furrowed. "Wait, are we counting BJs and Handsies?"
Quinn buried her face in her hands. Maybe it had been a bad idea to bring him.
"I want you to count anytime you've felt physically intimate with a female."
Puck nodded. "Oh. In that case…ten and a half..."
"And did the bulk of these women come before or after Quinn got pregnant."
Puck shrugged shamelessly. "I guess before. Quinn here was my fifth home run, believe it or not."
"Oh my god," Quinn cried. "We're in therapy, Puckerman, could you use some gentler terminology, please!"
"No, I'm glad he feels comfortable enough to be himself," Doctor Jessup argued. "I like it…"
"I bet you do," Puck winked suggestively. Quinn's jaw dropped and she looked to Doctor Jessup in disgust.
The therapist pursed her lips regretfully. "I don't like it that much, Noah."
He sighed acceptingly. "Whatever. Are we going to talk about Beth or not?"
"We are," The doctor said calmly. "I'm just curious to know how having a baby affected your sexual conscious. I know Quinn took a vow of abstinence during her junior year, but I'm curious to know how it affected you. If you prefer to talk to me alone, though…"
"Quinn knows everything," Puck said flatly. "I didn't let it slow me down. I wasn't worried because Santana was on the pill, and everyone else had probably gone through menopause already."
"And you think that's the only negative consequence of having sex…?"
"Hey, come on, I'm not stupid!" Puck cried with his hand on his chest. "I know about the clap and all that. I just don't worry about it."
"You don't worry about a lot, do you?"
"I don't like stress," Puck said, matter-of-factly. "It's not good for my digestion."
"The trouble with schools is, they always try to teach the wrong lesson," Puck stood in front of the choir room, and belted out the first line of a familiar song. Kurt was standing next to him, looking thrilled. "Believe me; I've been kicked out of enough of them to know…" He casually strolled past the first row of chairs, making faces at everyone as he sung. "They want you to be less callow, less shallow, but I say why invite stressing. Stop studying strife…and learn to live the unexamined life."
The bass line kicked in and Kurt started tapping his foot and moving to the rhythm. However, Puck remained the only one singing.
"Dancing through life
swaying and sweeping;
and always keeping cool.
Life is fraughtless,
when you're thoughtless
those who don't try
never look foolish
dancing through life
mindless and careless
make sure your where less
trouble is rife
woes are fleeting
blows are glancing
when you're dancing
through life..."
Quinn watched thoughtfully. It was the perfect song for Puck, and she was impressed that Kurt had the brains to pick it out for him. It was weird how content Kurt was with Puck singing the majority of the song. Kurt joined in after the first verse, and at one point, the two of them were singing about being perfect together. Quinn looked around at the reactions. Finn looked absolutely horrified, but everyone else loved it.
At one point, Rachel joined in, and she and Kurt were singing about a hat. Then, Artie started singing about being in a wheel chair, and he and Blaine started singing about deserving each other too. Mike Chang got up and started dancing toward the end. In the last verse of the extremely long song, the six of them were singing together, harmonizing flawlessly.
"Dancing through life
Down at the Ozdust
If only because dust
Is what we come to
And the strange thing:
Your life could end up changing
While your dancing
Through!"
The few of them remaining in their chairs started clapping wildly.
"Guys," Mr. Shuester flew out of his seat, smiling. "That was great. But I should remind you that your assignment was to do duets. It's excellent that your groups wanted to collaborate, but Blaine, your partner barely even sung."
"It's a song about dancing." Mike Chang told Shuester. "I felt it was more appropriate to dance."
"Kurt wanted to do a real duet," Puck explained defensively. "It was some love song that he likes, but after he gave me the Wicked Soundtrack to listen to, I realized I related to this song more, even though I've never been to a ballroom."
"Well, I think you guys did great. But I'm not so quick to let you off the hook. I want to see real duets by next week."
The bell rang and everyone started gathering their stuff to go to their next class.
"I don't care if that wasn't a real duet," Rory told Quinn as they exited the choir room together. "It's going to be hard to compete with those guys."
"We can do it, Rory," Quinn said confidently, reaching up to place a reassuring hand on his arm. "Trust me…"
"Trust me…?" Doctor Jessup's eyes darted back and forth from Quinn to Puck. "That was enough for you to go through sleeping with him?"
"I was caught up in the moment," Quinn justified shamefully.
"Obviously,"
"I don't see what the problem is," Puck said. "We brought a perfect little girl into this world. We gave her a good home. Even if her mother has no idea how to treat a man; she's still a good mother. They deserve each other."
"You seem to be in the mindset that everything happens for a reason, Noah."
"Well, doesn't it?" He shrugged. "I just think it's better to sit back and watch life unfold. Regret is the worst kind of self-abuse there is."
Quinn furrowed her eyebrows and pursed her lips, confused. Since when was Puck so deep?
"It was Quinn's decision to give her up; not mine." He continued to assert. "She regretted getting pregnant."
"We talked about this already…" Quinn mumbled, wanting him to stop.
"So she gave Beth up, but when that didn't work out for her, she regretted that. Did she tell you what she did? She tried to get child protective services to get Beth back for her, and when that didn't work for her, she tried to convince me to get her pregnant again."
"Really…" Doctor Jessup was intrigued by this new information.
"Screw you," Quinn snapped at Puck. She hadn't been ready for Doctor Jessup to know these things yet.
"Quinn, calm down." Doctor Jessup said serenely. Quinn glared at her. How had this woman thought including Puck in therapy was a good idea? "Look, I'm not surprised. Your tendency to try to change history presented itself again. The first mistake of getting pregnant couldn't be undone, and you felt like you'd given your baby up for nothing. So, you tried to correct that mistake as well."
Quinn felt tears begin to form in her eyes. "Thank you," She was shaking as she spoke. "Really, thank both of you for reminding me that I can't do anything right."
"Whoa, Quinn…" Puck's voice got gentler. He tried to place a comforting hand on her shoulder but she scooted away from him.
"It's not fair that I have to live like this!" Quinn shouted hysterically. Then, she crumbled. She started to sob.
"Quinn…" Puck reached to her again. Doctor Jessup watched the scene expressionlessly. Puck held her tightly in his arms and let her cry.
"I think that's enough for today." The therapist said. "Noah, it was nice to meet you. Quinn, you can come back tomorrow."