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Chapter 6: Accumulating Fears

Lillian shook out a sheet and began to fold it. Thankfully, Austria was proving to be one of the most resourceful countries she had been to. In taking over a nice, spacious building, the aid station had enough room to fit twice the amount of beds and wounded they could in Haguenau. It was a beautiful, breezy day. The sun wasn't too bright and perfectly warmed the little area the 506 had occupied. She could get used to this …

"Hey Nurse Lil! Doc got you folding sheets 'cause the aid station's so empty?" Lillian looked up at Frank Perconte and smiled.

"I take it as a good distraction," Lillian replied. However, seeing the rest of the group of men walking towards them, she added, "You boys heading out somewhere?"

"Got a distraction of our own," Perconte explained, putting his rifle over his shoulder.

"Christ Frank, you'd think you're in love with the girl you ran so fast," Ramirez commented exasperatedly and greeted Lillian, "Hey Nurse Lil."

"Hi Joe, Frank was just telling me you boys are going somewhere," Lillian said. "Care to elaborate?"

"We're gonna go hunting," Malarkey replied as the rest of them caught up. Lillian nodded.

"Shifty's gonna shoot us some dinner," Randleman further explained, nudging towards the shy Virginia native that she had not met. She put the folded sheets in the basket she had found in an abandoned room and walked towards Shifty Powers.

"Shifty? I haven't seen you in the aid station before," she began.

"Haven't been injured, ma'am," Shifty explained.

"Oh, please, Nurse Jenkins," she said, shaking her head.

"Or Nurse Lil," Ramirez added.

"Or Lillian," Malarkey put in.

"Just not Second Lieutenant Jenkins," Liebgott said, shaking his head.

"Or ma'am," Randleman finished. She eyed all their smirking faces before they burst into laughter.

"Yes, well, it's nice to meet you Shifty. Can I call you that?" she asked, shaking his hand.

"That's fine Nurse Jenkins. Hardly anyone calls me by Darrell or my last name now," Shifty explained.

"Alright, well, I won't keep you. Go get your dinner, but be careful, alright?" Lillian asked.

"Will do Nurse Lil!" Perconte proclaimed before the men walked off. The men gave a nod, and Malarkey waved goodbye.

"I could definitely get used to this," Lillian thought to herself as she smiled, generally happy with the way this war, her life really was progressing. She continued folding for a few minutes and came back to the aid station with a basket full of clean sheets.

"Done already Lillian?" Roe asked.

"Yeah, have anything else for me to do?" she asked.

"No patients, everything's basically prepped …" Roe said, glancing around as the two of them leaned against the edges of a bed. "It feels odd."

"Definitely. I'm so used to seeing and taking care of patients, it's almost worrying me that there aren't any," Lillian agreed. Roe raised his eyebrows, which made Lillian explain, "I feel like it's a bad omen that there aren't any, you know? Almost like we'll jinx ourselves if we relax?" Roe shrugged.

"Nurse Jenkins?" Lipton came into the doorway and nodded his head with small smile. "Hey Doc."

"Hey Lip," Roe greeted as Lillian walked to Lipton.

"Yes, sir? What can I do for you?" she asked.

"I was told that you should report to HQ for a screening," Lipton explained.

"Screening? For what?" Lillian asked, confused.

"Oh, to see something, not a medical screening," Lipton clarified, shaking his head.

"Oh, alright." She walked out with Lipton to HQ and found many officers there. Since most of the men had already been there, the seats were taken, but Lillian didn't mind standing. She leaned against a wall as the room quieted down. The lights were shut off, and the reel began to play. Lillian crossed her arms crossed over her chest, watching a bloody, fiery battle unravel before her eyes.

"The heroic dead of the combined Army and Marine Corps mark the grim battlefield of Okinawa where one of the bloodiest engagements of the war is being fought," the voiceover announced. She watched as what could've been a tropical place was consumed by smoke, fire and machine guns, firing at an enemy not caught on camera.

"Thousands of Yanks have been wounded, and other thousands have sacrificed their lives. Along the Japs southern defense line, the Yanks progress slowly, facing one of the fiercest artillery barrages of the war. Each small advance gained by bravery in the face of withering fire from a suicidal enemy slowly being hammered back into the hills."

She began to notice that most of the men in the room were silent. She noticed the serious expressions. Lillian knew what this meant; and making eye contact briefly with Winters only confirmed her suspicions. Looking at how the boys over in Japan could use some reinforcements, it seemed like the 101st would be redeployed to Japan and to go back to war.

"The going is brutal, and our casualties are high, but Okinawa is the next big step to victory over Japan. A victory that can only be won by work, war bonds, and heroic sacrifice."

The men immediately started to converse as soon as the lights came back on. Lillian closed her eyes and massaged the bridge of her nose, desperately trying to get the last scene out of her mind. A medic standing over at least a dozen soldiers on stretchers, not even near a field station. That hit her hard, and she suddenly felt that the bliss of no war, no more patients would soon be a thing of the past. Lillian pushed off of the wall and passed by a few other men she knew.

"So, when are we going?" Speirs asked.

"We don't have a date yet," Winters replied.

Lillian walked out of HQ and slowly back to the aid station. "Redeployment to Japan?" She exhaled deeply to calm the slowly increasing butterflies in her stomach. They didn't have a date, but Winters had basically said they were going. She wasn't sure if she could tell Eugene or Spina or any of them that. Of course, they would find out by other means, but she didn't want to tell any of them anything about war unless it was over or they were going home. She knew these men had seen and lived through plenty of war; and that was probably one reason why they were being redeployed—they had experience, and they were good. That would hit them hard. She knew that when she first heard someone she knew was going off to training for war, she felt like her world had just stopped and snapped herself out a perfect world.

Lillian walked up the stairs and onto the platform, putting on a smile that her mother had ingrained her memory would be the only to get any wealthy man's eye the right way. However, this banquet was only to raise money for charity. The highest bidder would get a dance with her. They would be repeating the lineup of young ladies until the banquet was supposed to end.

"We have Lillian Jenkins up next, and as you've seen gentlemen, she is quite the dancer," the announcer said, nodding his head confidently. "Her next dance is the waltz, oh, a fine choice for one with her grace and beauty." Lillian, knowing all too well that she had to showcase herself, smiled a bit wider before picking up one side of her dress and spinning slowly, revealing the entirety of her pale blue, sleeveless dress.

"Let's start the bidding at ten dollars. Do I have ten? I have ten, do I have fifteen? Fifteen, twenty? Twenty, do I see twenty-five? I have twenty-five, do I see thirty?"

The bidding seemed to go on for ages, but she saw who was waiting to put in his bid. Charles Grover was an old friend of the family thanks to the Great War and had graduated with Oliver from high school. People said he was richer than the governor. She didn't really associate with Charles, and he rarely attended things she did. Her mother always told her to act interested in Charles, and to encourage him, but Lillian found nothing attractive about the man.

"One hundred and fifty," Charles finally called out, substantially increasing the current bid of eighty-five dollars, not wanting to wait any longer. Most of the men turned to him in complete surprise, but they all put their cards down and stopped bidding. Lillian was as equally surprised, but she knew was going to have to dance with him sooner or later.

"One hundred sixty!" a voice called out. Lillian's heart beat a little faster at the sound and presence of Richard Winters walking in, looking exceedingly handsome in a tuxedo. Everyone looked around to see who had bid higher than Charles Grover, and to say the least, they were amazed when they saw Dick.

"Two hundred," Charles challenged, not paying attention to Dick, even though Lillian knew they knew each other.

"Two ten," Dick challenged.

"Two hundred twenty," Charles stood up, turning to Dick.

"Two thirty," Dick overruled, coming closer. Surprised that he was still going higher, Charles managed to get out,

"Two hundred and for—!"

"Two fifty," Dick said, simply. Charles sized up Dick and scoffed.

"Aren't you running out of money Winters?" Charles challenged.

"Are you?" Dick asked, innocently. Lillian's smile grew, and Charles stood in front of a farm boy, his mouth gaping like a fish.

"Two hundred and fifty dollars, going once? … Going twice? …" The announcer was waiting for a response from Charles, but when none came, he smiled widely. "Sold! To Mr. Winters, thank you sir!" the announcer proclaimed, excitedly at the amount of money that he had just collected off of one dance. Charles, after regaining some composure, glared at him before walking off, and Lillian walked down to him from the platform as the music began. When the two met on the dance floor, she curtsied, and he bowed before they came together in dance position.

"Richard, how did you—?" Lillian asked, completely blown away, but on the inside overjoyed that he would pay so much money to dance with her.

"From my job and my car," Dick explained as they began to dance.

"You sold your car?" Lillian gasped, "but, how did you get here then?"

"Walked then found a taxi," Dick explained. Thankfully, other couples came onto the floor, so the two weren't completely alone.

"And you did all that just so you could—?"

"Donate to charity, dance with you, and get these looks from everyone in Lancaster like I'm crazy, yes," Dick said, spinning her. However, Lillian's head was turned away from Dick, and she didn't hear his second reason. And he didn't see her face drop.

"Oh," Lillian said, trying to mask her disappointment. As she looked around the banquet hall to distract herself, she pursed her lips at an unpleasant sight.

"What's wrong?" Dick asked, eyeing her uneasy face. She quickly masked that and turned her head closer to him so she could whisper to him, without making it seem like they were talking.

"Charles' parents are talking to him … and looking at us," Lillian replied. As soon as Dick was able to see Mr. and Mrs. Grover, he wished he hadn't. The trio, one of the richest families in Lancaster, was glaring at the couple. The hard, Navy stare from Charles' father was one that reminded Lillian of her father's own stare.

"Mrs. Grover looks absolutely aghast," she said, cringing.

"She's probably wondering who would turn down her son," Dick joked. Lillian stifled a laugh.

"Well, it is for charity. It's not my fault if someone bid higher than her darling boy," she joked, which made Dick smile wider.

Then, out of nowhere, Dick became a dancer. It seemed like he was using all of his brain power and ballroom knowledge to make sure that Lillian was smiling and enjoying herself. Whatever his intentions were and for whatever reason he was doing this, Lillian could not stop smiling. It was like something out of a dream she had, a daydream that she longed to become reality. Her pretty, aristocratic façade faded, and it felt like she was flying; not just because of the speed she and Dick were moving, but she felt as if she had been released from all societal, familial and personal burdens. She felt she was just a simple version of herself, and Lillian liked it. It was worth seeing the looks on the faces of the society matrons, who never thought the daughter of Frederick and Caroline Jenkins could behave like this in public; Mrs. Grover's certainly had to be the best. He spun her as the final notes dragged out and the song ended. He bowed, and she curtsied as the audience hesitantly applauded.

"Lily," Dick said, which made Lillian her smile wider. However, his face was serious, and hers became quickly concerned at his tone. "I have to tell you something."

"What's wrong?" she asked, moving closer to him. When Dick didn't answer her right away, she demanded in a gentle and worried voice, "Richard, tell me."

"I'm enlisting," Dick finally said, which made Lillian's eyes grow wide. "I'm leaving for South Carolina tomorrow morning."

"What?" Lillian managed to say after a moment of total shock and silence. "We aren't fighting a war though! It's Europe!"

"We will, and I think we're going to be entering it pretty soon," Dick explained. Lillian slowly raised her hand to her mouth as he continued, "If we are, I want to be a part of it."

"But-but what about college? Your life here? Your family? Us—" His eyebrows shot up, but she shook her head and clarified quickly, "Oliver and I?" Dick shook his head with a small smile, attempting to calm Lillian.

"I think a year or two away from Pennsylvania isn't going to kill me,"

"I'll never forgive you if it does."

"Excuse me!" a man called out from behind. Lillian was taken out of her thoughts and turned around, not knowing who was speaking to whom. She saw a tall man, in a paratrooper uniform, but she had not seen him around the base or ever before. However, he was coming towards her with determination and anger in his voice and steps. He pointed at her, and challenged, "Who are you?"

"Lieutenant Jenkins, Lillian R., Captain," Lillian answered, standing at attention.

"Jenkins, what are you doing with the paratroopers?" he demanded, staring maybe even glaring at her. He moved closer, and Lillian managed to catch his name on his uniform before she looked straight in his eyes. "Women should not be with the paratroopers."

"I'm sorry Captain Sobel, but I was reassigned here—" Lillian started.

"From where?" Sobel cut her off.

"94th EVAC Hospital, Italy, sir," she replied, trying not to get angry at his impatience.

"Why would the 506 need a woman like you?" Sobel asked, quietly and degradingly as he sized her up.

"The 506 needed more medical hands sir, and since I am a nurse with station, field and evacuation hospital experience, serving since D-Day, Colonel Sink believed it to be in the best interests of the regiment to have nurses in the 101st, particularly in the 506." Lillian explained quickly, certain her tone bordered resentment at times. Sobel's eyebrows shot up, but said he nothing. "If you so desire sir, you can go to Colonel Sink or my CO, and they can verify that for you."

"Your CO?" Sobel questioned.

"Major Winters, sir," Lillian replied. Sobel looked at her suspiciously.

"Major Winters?" Sobel repeated, emphasizing the rank.

"Yes sir," Lillian said, simply. Sobel nodded, although looking like he didn't believe her. Then he looked out and nodded again before going off. Lillian turned around to look at Sobel from the back before heading back to the aid station.

"Lillian!" Malarkey came jogging to her.

"Don?" Malarkey looked back and forth between her and Sobel's retreating figure.

"Were you just talking to that man, down the street?" he asked, curiously.

"Yes, Captain Sobel. Where did he come from?" Lillian asked, turning around to watch him go with Malarkey. "I've never seen him before."

"He used to be Easy's CO, and now he's a teacher at a jump school or something like that." Malarkey explained. "What did he talk to you about? He looked, uh …"

"Infuriated?" Lillian filled in. Malarkey nodded.

Winters was walking down the street when a string of laughter interrupted his thoughts. He turned to the aid station to Lillian and Donald Malarkey laughing as if everything in the world was right. They began to talk, both completely comfortable and at ease with one another. He had noticed they had become friends over time, but he didn't expect them to be as close as they looked. A twinge of jealousy ran through him. He wished he could just walk up to her and talk to her like that. Winters wished he had the time and the freedom to go and do that; in his mind, it would seem weird for a major to talk to a nurse so casually. It didn't matter if they were friends or not, it would still look a little suspicious to the men. And Lillian did look like she was having a good time with Malarkey … could she have feelings for him? Sure, Winters had danced with her, but as soon as it was done, she went to go talk to Malarkey outside. Doubt and worry ran through Winters' thoughts; he might've missed his chance. Those feelings that he had kept quiet, waiting for the right moment and just to make sure that his feelings were correct, might've been kept quiet for too long now.