Thanks to Amanda for her review, and being a faithful non-FF reader/reviewer. :)

Chapter 8: Right Diagnosis?

Lillian and Clara made it to the city after two hours of trying to maneuver their way through the little villages and confusing roads. The two found a quaint restaurant to have lunch, and after ordering their meals, Clara leaned forward with curious look.

"So, start explaining Lillian. What's complicated between you and Major Winters?" she asked, raising an eyebrow. Lillian took a drink of her water before leaning back into the seat.

"I knew him before the war started. He and my brother were the best of friends, even though they were very different. They went through elementary and high school together—"

"You and your relationship Lillian, stop beating around the bush!" Clara demanded.

"I was getting there Clara! So, because they were close, I saw him often when I was a little girl. I played with them all the time. We'd go to the park or each other's houses and just fool around, making our typical, routine Pennsylvanian life not so boring. Like, we used to make up names for one another."

"Really? What'd he call you?"

"Lily."

"Oh, that's precious, but why Lily?"

"My brother suggested that I have a nickname that's a flower because my middle name is a flower as well," Lillian chuckled.

"What's your middle name?"

"Rose."

"Lillian Rose … that's adorable! I'd love that name, oh, but what did you call Winters?"

"My brother called him Dick, but I called him Rich," Lillian shrugged, and Clara nodded. "Then, as we got older, Oliver and Rich—Major Winters went to Lancaster School for Boys, and my parents started coming down on us about our familial duties." Clara made a face at Lillian's tone.

"I think I remember you telling me something about those and some people, um, some guy named Rover maybe?" Clara asked.

"Rover?" Lillian repeated, a laugh ready on her lips. "I told you about Grover?" A wave of realization washed over Clara's face like she had an epiphany, which made Lillian laugh.

"Oh yeah! David, Michael, or something, right?" Clara asked.

"Not even close Clara. Try Charles," Lillian smiled.

"Charles Grover! Right," Clara proclaimed.

"You might want to speak a little louder. I don't think they heard you in California," Lillian teased, and both of them began to laugh before Lillian explained her situation with Winters.

"So, have you told him yet?" she asked.

"Told him what? That I—no, Clara. I can't!" Lillian shook her head fervently.

"Why not?" Clara exclaimed, absolutely astounded.

"I can't just walk up to him—we're still in war. We're preparing for Japan!" Lillian argued.

"So? Lillian," Clara leaned forward a little more, "who knows if you're gonna see him tomorrow or not? For all we know, the outpost could've blown up, or some Nazi who still thinks the war is going on, could've waltzed in and shot him dead." Lillian fidgeted in her seat.

"You gotta take chances while you still have them! Take an opportunity, and change your life! You don't know what's going to happen, and from what I saw, I think he feels the same way." Lillian leaned forward as Clara leaned backward.

"You know I believe that opportunities can change your life; I'm living proof of it. But, this? This is different. We could get into serious trouble, and there would be serious consequences, like being dishonorably discharged for starters, if someone knew we had some kind of romantic relationship—it's against army policy, you know that." Lillian argued, shaking her head. Clara made a face and looked away.

"Clara, under any other circumstances, I would, but not here, not now. It's still dangerous." Clara sighed as she turned back to Lillian.

The two nurses spent the rest of the night around town. They went to a play, which Lillian translated bits and pieces of. The two were pretty confused by what was going on, and had more fun taking guesses at what the play was about than actually paying attention. They came to a little inn and took baths before going to bed considerably earlier than their norm. They were in one room with two beds and a bathroom with some dressers and a bedside table, so they were pretty comfortable even though the beds were creaky and made noise whenever either of them moved. That was what woke Lillian up originally.

Clara was tossing in her sleep, and Lillian, who had become a light sleeper, heard her in the next bed. Lillian closed her eyes again in an attempt to fall asleep, but then she heard Clara muttering to herself. Lillian opened her eyes and turned over to see Clara's sweaty face etched in worry against the moonlight from the window.

"No … wait, no Peter … she's coming with morphine … just, please, hold on …"

Peter. Lillian sat up slowly as Clara's eyelids tightened, and her breathing became shallower and quicker. Lillian remembered Peter. He was one of their first patients at the 56th, and he seemed to come back almost every week with something to be patched up or just visiting one of his buddies. Clara and Peter had grown close, and one day he came back in as a patient, but in the worst condition he'd ever been. He had been hit by two grenades and had severe burning and bleeding in his chest and face especially. Clara and Lillian did all they could, but he died ten minutes later. Clara was shaken by his death, but seemed to return to her normal, bubbly self. Still, there were some days that Clara didn't seem completely herself, and now Lillian knew why for certain.

She got up and did her friend the favor of waking her up from the dream. Clara's eyes quickly opened before covering her mouth. The two nurses had a moment with one another; Lillian looked empathetically at a bewildered and disturbed Clara. She shot up and hugged Lillian tightly before beginning to sob and shake in Lillian's arm. Lillian hugged her just as tightly back and rocked her slowly, quieting her gently. It wasn't until two in the morning that Clara fell back asleep in Lillian's arms.

The next morning, they didn't speak about what happened. The two nurses continued on and went for breakfast and a quick walk around the city before returning back to the outpost. The Easy company men they passed on their way to the checkpoint waved to Lillian. One former Easy commander smiled at Clara and Lillian as they got out of the jeep.

"Major, reporting back for duty," Lillian greeted, both Clara and she saluting Winters. He looked at his watch and then back at them.

"You're ten minutes early, lieutenants," Winters told them before saluting.

"We're sorry, sir. There wasn't much traffic on the roads, and we went twenty miles an hour," Clara said with a completely straight face. Winters eyed the two serious nurses before smirking and chuckling.

"Alright then, head back to your stations," he ordered.

"See you around Lillian," Clara said, hugging her.

"See you around Clara," Lillian said before the two split ways. She smiled at Winters gratefully.

"Thank you again Major Winters."

"Did you do something on your day out?" Winters asked, curiously.

"Yes sir, we had lunch then went to go see a show which neither of us could really understand, but it was still fun," Lillian explained, nodding her head before turning back to Winters with a suspicious look. "Do you think I'd lie to you, sir?" she asked, crossing her arms over her chest.

"You were always better at it than I was," Winters replied simply, shrugging. "I'm just glad you had a nice time out," Winters said, earnestly.

"Thank you, sir, but how did you know?" Lillian asked.

"Thank Captain Nixon. He complained to me about you," Winters replied, his smirk coming out again. Lillian's mouth gaped slightly, cocking an eyebrow at Winters.

"Did he now? About what I wonder? After I helped his arm to heal properly—"

"This was before he knew that actually listening to what the nurse told him to do would help him," Winters explained, making Lillian laugh lightly with Winters. "You should probably get back to the aid station."

"Yes, I should. Roe is probably wondering what's keeping me, thank you again," Lillian said for what seemed the billionth time to Winters.

"Like I said, I'm just glad you had fun and that you're better," Winters said.

"Better, sir?"

"You look better, happier … more you."

"Gene, I'm heading out, alright? I should be back before twenty-one hundred," Lillian told him, putting her hair in a ponytail. Roe nodded.

"You've been headin' out the past few weeks since Janovec died. Something bothering you? Or are you meeting someone every night?" Roe teased, which made Lillian shake her head and laugh.

"No, I'm not meeting anyone Gene," she replied.

"Are you sure you're alright though? If you wanna talk it out, you know I'll listen," Roe said, coming closer to her.

"I don't talk things out. I walk them out, remember?" Lillian grabbed her musette bag and attached it to her uniform with a smirk. Roe gave her a look and shook his head. "Thank you though, Gene."

"Be careful, alright?" Roe told her as she walked out.

"When have I not been?" Lillian called to him, turning around and smiling.

Soon enough, Lillian was out of his sight and far away from most of the eyes of the regiment. She had walked down to the lake. She would've continued and turned back around, but with a look at her watch and a glance at the picturesque lake, she figured why not stay and have a look around. Admiring the view while she still could, Lillian sat on a nearby rock and closed her eyes, letting the light breeze caress her body. It vaguely reminded her of the balcony she'd sneak out to late at night back in her home. At that thought though, she opened her eyes, and her jaw tightened.

"Lillian? Are you okay?" She turned to the voice, and her eyes narrowed.

"Don? What're you doing out?" Lillian asked as he got out of his jeep.

"Finishing my rounds, what are you doing out?" Malarkey asked, walking up and sitting next to her.

"Clearing my head," Lillian explained, vaguely.

"From what? What's on your mind?" Malarkey asked, genuinely concerned.

"How many points do you have Don?" Lillian asked seriously after a moment.

"Points?" he asked.

"How many more do you need in order to be discharged?" Lillian rephrased.

"Seven … why?" Malarkey replied, unsure of why she was asking about points.

"Okay, say that you did have enough points to go home, would you go home?" Lillian asked, turning to him completely.

"Are you kidding me? Of course! I'm tired of this war," Malarkey replied, which made Lillian bite her lip. "Why? Do you have enough points to go home or something?"

"We don't go by a point system. We stay in until the end of the war," Lillian explained. Malarkey's eyes widened, and his mouth gaped in surprise.

"Are you serious? That's ridiculous!" Malarkey exclaimed.

"It's what we signed up for," Lillian replied.

"Well, say if you did go by a points system, and you did have enough to go home, would you?" Lillian looked at Malarkey before she looked out on the tranquil lake.

"You won't like my answer, Don," Lillian warned, shaking her head slowly, looking away from him.

"Try me," Malarkey insisted.

"If I was to abide by a point system and have the choice to leave like you and the boys if I had the points, I wouldn't," Lillian replied. "Don't get me wrong. I want this war to end as quickly and with little or no more casualties at this point. It's just—complicated to go back home."

"What do you mean?" Malarkey asked, turning to her completely.

"I didn't leave the States on good terms with my family," Lillian explained, after a pause. "They were still recovering from my brother's death and figuring out how to help his wife when I decided to enlist. My mother was completely against it. 'A job as degrading and gross as that will never get you a husband!' is what she said." She shook her head with a laugh of disgust.

"After my brother died, my father estranged himself from everyone. He was never the same after he received the news. When I told him, he wasn't upset or begging me not to leave. He was livid and gave me an ultimatum: Stay and be the good daughter he wanted me to be, or leave and not expect support from either of them when I returned, if I returned, he said."

Lillian looked down at her feet and was quiet for a moment. "I left, but even if he didn't give me the ultimatum, I still would've gone. As I much love and miss my brother, I was so sick and tired of people mourning him. And that dismal atmosphere in my house—it was as if life was ripped out of it, and there was nothing left. I hated it."

She sighed, pulling a fallen strand of hair behind her ear. "I'm just hoping that I can figure out what I'm going to do before the war's over for good." Lillian explained.

"Well … you can come back with me," Malarkey explained, seriously. Lillian turned to him.

"Really?"

"Really. Sure, it's probably a lot different from Pennsylvania, but I mean," Malarkey started with a smile, "Oregon is a great place. You've got a lot of different jobs, you'd be able to own a nice piece of land. You can start a new life out there. That's what my grandparents did when they came off the boat—headed west, came round to Oregon and made a lot babies."

Malarkey stopped himself for a moment then said, "We obviously wouldn't be making a family, but you know what I mean." Lillian chuckled and nodded.

"Until we find some stable, hiring jobs, I'm sure my parents wouldn't mind having one more person in the house. My mom was always the one for entertaining people. Oh man, and I could back to fly fishing out on the Columbia! I used to do it when I was younger, and did that pay. I felt like one of the richest kids in the state when summer came around. Then, oh! A few friends of mine own some stores, not too big and not as good-paying as a nurse probably, but they're great, and you'll fit in fine. Aw man, to see the looks on their faces when I come back with you, and from the paratroopers too—"

Malarkey abruptly stopped and looked at Lillian. She was smiling gently, which made him shrug his shoulders, slightly embarrassed that he went on in such a passion. "It's a thought," he said, scratching the back of his head.

"Thank you Don, I mean it. It's very generous of you to offer," Lillian said, sincerely.

"Well, just know you have options," Malarkey said to her. "What were—what are you planning on doing if you're staying?" Lillian didn't answer at first.

"I'm applying for a transfer," Lillian explained, and Malarkey's eyes widened. "Well, I don't know. I'm still thinking about it."

"Are you crazy?" Malarkey exclaimed.

"The 13th Airborne are being redeployed to the Pacific soon." Lillian continued as if she hadn't heard him, sterner than before.

"Lillian," Malarkey said, shaking his head as both of them stood up.

"I can't wait around anymore to help people," Lillian elaborated. "If they need me to, I'll go to Japan earlier to help, even if it's not with the 101st." She continued, "They're going to need every medical hand possible to keep fighting over there. All I have to do is hand in the paperwork."

"You can help around here! You've seen what's happened to our guys—"

Lillian cut Malarkey off, concerned about his reaction. "What's wrong Don?"

"What's wrong? Lillian!" Malarkey exclaimed, "There are other—you have other options besides getting yourself killed by trying to save others in this war!"

"I've been a nurse for two years—"

"I knew guys that were soldiers for longer that got killed—"

"I'm not going to be on the frontline—"

"It doesn't matter! They have bombs—"

"And the Germans had tanks, what's the matter—"

"There're people who love you that want to see you make it through—"

"Just because I transfer doesn't mean I'm going to get killed—"

"But the Japs are worse than the Germans! Didn't you see what they did to Pearl Harbor—?" Malarkey argued.

"Didn't you see what the Germans did at Landsberg?" Lillian retorted dangerously, which silenced Malarkey and closed his mouth from argument. "This is my job, remember? To save others—to make sure people stay alive to keep fighting." Lillian shook her head at Malarkey's expression.

"I didn't take a vow just to go back on it. If there is a place that needs my help, I'm going to try and get in if I choose to do so." Lillian eyed him wearily before saying, "I'm sorry Don, but it's just—" however, seeing Malarkey's unfaltering expression, Lillian gave up her possible niceness to help the situation and shook her head. "Never mind, goodnight." Lillian stuffed her hands in her pockets and walked off, leaving Malarkey shaking his head, cursing himself. He walked back to the jeep and drove back to his building, stalking inside.

"Someone looks happy," Luz greeted.

"Fuck off Luz," Malarkey greeted in return.

"Oh, someone's real happy," Luz affirmed sarcastically, nodding his head to the others there.

"What's going on Malark?" Perconte asked. "Found out George here kissed Nurse Lil?" He laughed as Luz's mouth dropped, and Luz hit Perconte upside the head. Malarkey just slumped into a chair and massaged his face slowly.

"That's not true, you know I wouldn't do that," Luz said. Malarkey nodded weakly in return, taking his hands away from his face.

"She's definitely on your mind," Perconte said, more seriously now after a moment's pause.

"C'mon Malark, spill it. We'll find out eventually anyway," Luz suggested, smiling. "If not, I can always go ask the lady herself."

"I'm not sure you can," Malarkey said, taking out a cigarette box.

"Why's that?" Webster, who had just been watching, asked.

"She might be applying for a transfer," Malarkey explained simply, lighting a cigarette. The men became quiet and confused. The looks of mischief dropped from Luz's and Perconte's faces as Malarkey sat there smoking.

"A transfer?" Perconte asked.

"She's going to Japan with us?" Webster asked, slightly surprised.

"Yeah, she is. But, if she gets the transfer, she'll be heading out with the 13th instead and sooner," Malarkey explained, letting out a breath of smoke. "I just got into an argument with her about it, so if you don't mind, I'd like to forget it for now and smoke my goddamn cigarette." The men didn't speak any further on the matter and slowly regressed into what they were doing before as Malarkey continued to smoke.

Lillian continued to weigh her options, finally making up her mind about an hour later. She'd go back and apologize to Don for getting angry and yelling at him the way she did, but in the morning, she would hand her transfer papers in. Although she understood his position on the matter, Lillian believed her position took priority and was more sensible. And there was something about what he said that irked her that she needed to find out or understand. He said that there were people who loved her who want to see her make it through, but what was he really saying? Was he implying her parents and family in Pennsylvania? Or … was he talking about other people? Was he talking about himself? Some of the men in the company?

Lillian's mind filtered through endless scenarios and possibilities because of that vague statement. He had been acting a little odd for the past couple of weeks, all starting with V-E Day. She couldn't tell what it was, but she couldn't dwell much more on it out here. She needed to get back to the aid station. Lillian didn't need Roe worrying about her too. So, she began her jog back. As soon as she found road however, she slowed down and continued on walking. A few jeeps were heard faintly in the distance from time-to-time, but none ever came near her, and she figured they were on the other side of the woods.

"Hey Nurse Jenkins!" Lillian turned to find jeep headlights roaring towards her. She smiled as soon as she saw familiar faces.

"Hello Sergeant Grant, how are you doing?" Lillian asked, to which he shrugged.

"Good, you know, patrols." Lillian chuckled and nodded.

"I do."

"Wanna catch a ride back to base? Passenger seat's open, you know, instead of walking all the way back to base," Grant offered.

"Sure," Lillian said, climbing into the jeep.