(A/N: Set to Panic!'s Memories, you may read this knowing I've written it intending for a third person, Ted perhaps, as the narrator, and Barney and Robin the subjects. Or you could just read it the way it is. Very much an open-ended fic. Sorry it's taken me so long to update this, it's just harder to write good songfics for me.)
You could call it an amicable split, and they were still friends. At least, to their friends, they seemed like they were taking it perfectly fine. After all, theirs was what you'd consider a whirlwind romance - plenty of action, but it went as quickly as it came. I didn't know the full story, and no one would, since neither of them did either. They were too concerned with moving on with as little impact on the outside as possible, they forgot that a wound never heals on the outside if the tissues on the inside haven't repaired themselves.
We know they tried, but it wasn't easy for them. They weren't the kind of people you'd imagine in a real relationship, they needed a constant for them to stay on track and not veer too far away from what most would consider normalcy in relationship terms. They didn't last long, even though the build-up took them so long, took them more courage than they'd ever had to muster. They got past their non-committal ideals, and were finally opening up to the relationship-with-each-other idea, but there was still something that stood in their way. They were, in a sense, dysfunctional, lacking the balance to keep the sparks flying. Itwasn'tforthem,thisrelationshipstuff, they decided, theywouldtryandmakeitontheirown.
But I see the changes. I'm not the only one. There's a certain vibrance, a certain life, missing from them. From the way they see things, analyse situations; a negativity clouds their judgment, and as much as they try to deny, it gets more obvious by the day. Unrequited love on both sides, it's an odd situation, you'd say, ifthey'reinlove,whydon'ttheyjusttelleachother?But that's not their style, see, they're the kind of people that need a little push, a little pre-assurance, a little confidence booster, before they make their move.
The months wear on, and they look happy, they keep the smiles on their faces. They exchange the same friendly banter as they used to before they had the whole hurricane run through them. It isn't obvious, of course it isn't. They're careful, they're good at hiding, it was how this whole thing started. On hindsight, they should have been left alone for a little longer, to run away a little longer, let them fall irreversibly in love, perhaps that way, what they had would have been stronger.
But gradually, the signs are easier to notice, if you know where to look. He leaves the little lingering stares, laughs a little too loudly at her jokes, jumps too quickly to assure her of the weirdest things, even if it's painfully out of his call. She says "but...um" a little too often, drinks too many glasses of scotch when she's next to him or opposite him in the booth, and always avoids being alone with him by coming late to the bar. He watches what he shares about his conquests when she's around, invites her to laser tag games whenever he wants to play, although he hastily asks us as well, even though it's clear that he isn't really thinking about the latter option. She turns down date requests at the bar, even when the guy that's asking her out is what we'd call a perfect man, well-dressed, decent looks and all, and she only accepts his laser tag invites after we do, pushing us to go along before she gives her final word.
These memories they hold of each other while they were together, it's all they'll ever know. The familiarity of each others' body against their own, the kisses that progress from tender to searching and then claiming; the looks that they exchange without even meaning to. It's chemistry, and they won't ever lose it, even if they try to avoid the awkwardness that has resulted.
They secretly miss each other, and they don't want those memories to fade away. We try, to help them both realise that, but it's fight that they've got to win alone. It's a war they're fighting, and the first battle, they'd lost. But a war isn't just about that first battle. Sure, it's a hard one to come back from, because you'll always return from a battle with scars, bruises and fears. But they're the king and queen of comebacks, and they have got a fighting chance, as long as they don't let those memories fade away.