A Study in Text Chapter 2, a sherlock fanfic

TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES

SENT: 4:36 AM

New phone.

Mycroft has proven himself unusually useful.

TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON

SENT: 4:39 AM

Good morning to you too

TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES

SENT: 4:40 AM

Sarcasm is decidedly less effective over text, John.

TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON

SENT: 4:41 AM

Effective enough for you to know it was sarcasm

Why would you wake me up to tell me you got a new phone

TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES

SENT: 4:42 AM

Don't be ridiculous.

I woke you up because I'm bored.

TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON

SENT: 4:43 AM

Going back to bed

TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES

SENT: 4:43 AM

You don't fool me, John.

I know you can't sleep once someone wakes you up.

TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES

SENT: 4:48 AM

John. Answer me.

TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES

SENT: 4:51 AM

It's boring at this hotel.

And the in-room coffee is crude and undrinkable.

TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES

SENT: 4:56 AM

Bored bored bored.

TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES

SENT: 5:02 AM

I don't even have a gun this time.

Should have taken yours.

TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON

SENT: 5:09 AM

Was taking a shower to wake up

Any news with the case?

TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES

SENT: 5:11 AM

Not much.

Did some research about the hospital workers.

Apparently they've all been involved in some sort of gang violence over the years.

TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON

SENT: 5:14 AM

So a mafia hospital then?

Sounds interesting

TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES

SENT: 5:15 AM

Not in the slightest. Obvious. Predictable.

TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON

SENT: 5:16 AM

Right then

Have you tried finding a person that links them together?

That might give you an alias

TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES

SENT: 5:17 AM

I've already done so.

All aliases are tied to a Mr. Chip Lancaster.

According to criminal records, he's got a tattoo in an intimate place.

If I can prove the design and placement matches with the victim's husband, I've got him.

TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON

SENT: 5:19 AM

And just how do you get him to reveal his tattoo

Tell him to show you his arse?

TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES

SENT: 5:20 AM

Of course not.

I'll have to get him to reveal it himself.

TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON

SENT: 5:21 AM

What do you mean

TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON

SENT: 5:28 AM

Sherlock, you can't mean you're going to seduce this man.

TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES

SENT: 5:28 AM

Knew you'd get there eventually.

TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON

SENT: 5:31 AM

You can't be serious!

What if he's carrying some disease?

You can't put yourself into a situation where you'll be vulnerable like that.

TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES

SENT: 5:32 AM

Don't kid yourself, John.

It's perfectly clear that your concern over my actions stems more from jealousy than actual worry.

TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON

SENT: 5:33 AM

I'm not jealous of you for buggering a random bloke!

TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES

SENT: 5:33 AM

Come now.

We both know that's not what I was referring to.

TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON

SENT: 5:35 AM

Are you suggesting that I want you to bugger ME instead?

Because that's absolutely ridiculous.

TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES

SENT: 5:36 AM

Is it?

Your responses say otherwise.

TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON

SENT: 5:37 AM

You've deduced something wrong.

I haven't done anything but deny it.

How could you possibly have come up with that?

TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES

SENT: 5:38 AM

When you're relaxed, you don't punctuate and you forget commas in your contractions.

When you're nervous or worried, however, you type in full sentences with perfect punctuation.

You only started doing that when I mentioned sleeping with Lancaster.

TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON

SENT: 5:41 AM

What ar u tlking about

TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES

SENT: 5:41 AM

And now you're making intentional errors to convince me otherwise.

Pitiful, John.

TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON

SENT: 5:46 AM

Look, you've obviously made a mistake somewhere.

I would bloody well know if I were attracted to you.

Besides, I've got a date with Sarah tonight.

TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES

SENT: 5:47 AM

And did you decide to ask Sarah out before or after I made you question your sexuality?

TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON

SENT: 5:51 AM

Stuff it, Sherlock.

TEXT FROM: MYCROFT HOLMES

SENT: 2:07 PM

You haven't thanked me for the phone, dearest brother.

TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES

SENT: 2:08 PM

Piss off.

TEXT FROM: MYCROFT HOLMES

SENT: 2:08 PM

You're welcome.

TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES

SENT: 2:09 PM

PISS. OFF.

TEXT FROM: MYCROFT HOLMES

SENT: 2:16 PM

The Doctor will come around, you know.

TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES

SENT: 7:30 PM

How was the date?

TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON

SENT: 7:32 PM

You mean 'how is the date going'

Just finished dinner

Sarah and i are heading back to the flat

TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES

SENT: 7:33 PM

Fine.

How is the date going?

TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON

SENT: 7:35 PM

TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES

SENT: 7:35 PM

You know how I feel about using emoticons to express your feelings.

TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON

SENT: 7:36 PM

That's because your only emotions are disgust and disinterest

TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES

SENT: 7:37 PM

Regardless, I don't see how you hope to get an entire message across with a smiley face.

Humans are more complex than that, John.

TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON

SENT: 7:38 PM

TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON

SENT: 8:19 PM

BLOODY HELL SHERLOCK

WHAT IN GODS NAME WERE YOU THINKING

TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES

SENT: 8:20 PM

I expect the cadavers have arrived.

I bargained with Molly for them.

I just told her to bring them over whenever.

Rather unfortunate timing, actually.

TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON

SENT: 8:34 PM

You realize this is what Sally meant when she said one day we'd discover bodies and you'd be the one who put them there

TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES

SENT: 8:35 PM

Pish posh. I wasn't the one who killed them.

Sarah wasn't pleased, I take it?

TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON

SENT: 8:36 PM

She's just gone home in a cab

I hope you know youre paying the fare

TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES

SENT: 8:37 PM

She wasn't going to sleep with you, anyway.

TEXT FROM: JOHN WATSON

SENT: 8:44 PM

Bit not good, Sherlock.

TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES

SENT: 8:45 PM

Don't be such a child, John.

TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES

SENT: 8:57 PM

John?

TEXT FROM: MYCROFT HOLMES

SENT: 9:29 PM

You definitely owe me a thank you for arranging that little stunt.

It took a while to convince Molly to deliver them while John was out, but I eventually got her to agree in exchange for a few of your headshots.

TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES

SENT: 9:30 PM

I knew there was a reason you had those photographers tail me last week.

And I'm certainly not thanking you for making John angry with me.

TEXT FROM: MYCROFT HOLMES

SENT: 9:32 PM

You don't need me to make John angry with you.

Have you gotten proof of the tattoo yet?

TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES

SENT: 9:33 PM

Not yet, but I've been spying on him long enough to suggest that bedding him will be easy.

What type of person do you executive types usually go for?

TEXT FROM: MYCROFT HOLMES

SENT: 9:36 PM

Hmm, difficult question.

I'd say someone just competent enough to understand that I should be left to my vices.

Someone who appreciates my genius but is just a bit too stubborn to admit it.

TEXT FROM: SHERLOCK HOLMES

SENT: 9:37 PM

You do realize you've given a near perfect description of Detective Inspector Lestrade.

TEXT FROM: MYCROFT HOLMES

SENT: 9:38 PM

Have I?