Perving and Persistent Moms.
Okay I'm not normally that pervy, in fact I'm normally known for being one of the reserved ones in the pack. But oh my god the newbie next door was just too appealing to look at. Plus you know what horney guys are like and I'm a horney wolf man so I think that's a good enough excuse as any, that I am currently straining my neck out my bedroom window to check out my neighbour who was currently sunbathing in the rain! Yes, sunbathing in the rain. No normal person would strip to a bikini in the dull rain of La Push and sunbathe but my girl, man she could make anyone do it. She had her head phones in and was singing rather badly along to Wham. Now Wham used to remind me of my mum and her obsession with George Michael, now all it made me think of was my luscious 80's fan girl neighbour, in a bikini in the rain.
"Embry Call what are you doing?" My mother shrieked behind me, startling me so much that in my effort to hide what I was looking at I bashed my head rather hard on the window pane.
"Owww!" I rubbed my forehead. If I get a bump, mommy's gonna get it. "Damn woman! Did you clearly not see the poster on my door saying keep out?"
"I thought that didn't apply to me seeing as I own this house, I spent 6 hours in labour giving birth to you and I let you live here for nothing when you are twenty three years of age." It was always the same speech, every single time.
"Yes well… what if I had a girl round?" Now it's always going to be a hit to the ego when your mom burst into fits of laughter when you mention you have a girl round.
"Oh Embry you do make me laugh some times. Now clean this room." One minute she's laughing, then the next minute orders. She started kicking my discarded clothes on the floor into a pile and scrunched her nose up at the half eaten sandwich on my floor. "This is how I knew there was no girl round."
"Gee thanks mom."
"Well live like a slob, you become a slob Embry and no girl wants to be with a slob. Tell you who you should be like… that friend of yours… Paul handsome young fellow him." I swear all the moms had a thing for Paul, little did she know that he was La Push's number one man whore and still unable to settle down.
"Think I would rather boil my eyeballs."
"Now why would you do that… clean this mess I won't tell you again." And with that she was gone. Mothers… seriously who needs them. All mine does is make me clean, cut grass and work at the shop. I looked at the pile of clothes and decided it best to ignore it and resume with… not perving but observing the beauty that lay next door.
SHE WAS GONE! Great my mother distracts me and now I have nothing to look at. Bloody mothers. I groaned dragging my hand over my face and checked the time. Suppose its best she vanished anyway as I have to go to Sam's in fifteen minutes. I grabbed the pile of dirty washing, shoved it in my already overloaded laundry basket and quickly swiped up the half eaten sandwich taking a sniff of it to check it was still edible. In my books it was safe so I finished it off and grabbed a clean T- shirt as I vacated the house. A wold whistle sounded and I stopped in my tracks to see who had clearly liked what they had seen.
"Up hear topless!" My head darted to my next door neighbours house and the second window along where my beauty was stood watching my with a gleeful grin on her face. "If you carry on walking around half naked neighbour I may have to pounce." My dreams come true! So instead of acting like… well a normal human being back… I became a babbling mess as per usual.
"You urghh… pounce… huh… me." Well done Embry you thoroughly look like a dickhead.
"Yes. You." She laughed. Oh that laughter, if only I could hear it every day. "Have you got a speech impediment, or a stutter or something?"
"Me? Urmm.. n.. no." She raised one of her thin blonde eyebrows at me.
"Aree… urghhh .. you s- sure?" She's making fun of me but I don't care. At least she's talking to me. I cleared my throat and decided now I could talk like a gentleman.
"Well my speech only becomes affected when talking to a beautiful lady such as you."
"Please tell me that was not a chat up line… because that was lame and quite the turn off." Shit. She was going to be a hard imprint to crack.
"In doesn't have to of been a chat up line if you don't want it to of been one." She seemed amused by that.
"I think it's best we both erase that from our memories hey." Phew! Least she's still talking to me. "Where you off too then hey? You're always running in and out your house half naked I've noted." She's been checking me out; she's a perv like me. My grin continued to grow.
"Ohhh im in… a… pack…of strippers." Why in hell did I say that?
"Strippers hey? Well maybe one day I and my friends could come and watch." Shittttt… now what will I do?
"Maybe." I checked my watch one last time and grimaced. I was supposed to be at Sam's five minutes ago now.
"Go on handsome, you should go see your friends and get naked. " I let out a loud chuckle myself.
"Okay but only because you told me to." I turned away knowing full well she was watching me and wiggled my ass that little bit more.
"SHAKE THAT THANG!" Oh I am going to enjoy living next to my beauty.