Author's Note:

Thanks to the site that shall not be named stupid post limit, I wasn't able to read this stinkin' anon's fanfic for me and it was so dirty, I was crying the entire time, but NO, the person only continues the story when I publish my reply. And thanks to the stupid post limit, I could publish and the person didn't continue with the story and now I'm drowning in my own tears.

On the bright side, I managed to finish the chapter. Whee.

The loud speaker echoed through as the backstage manager gestured us to step onto the stage.

Oh, god. Okay, so there's like tons of people here. And I mean TONS. The applauding was loud though. It's ten times louder up here then it was in the seats.

I glanced and scanned the place for a friendly face as I made my way up to the microphone. I spotted the huge telecommuter and took in a deep breath. Then, I spotted him. Logan sat, grinning up at me, his eyes shinning. God, he was so perfect. His dimples appeared a slight smirk on his face. He gestures to Katelyn and I wrinkle my brow. What was he talking -

"Right, Caitlin?" I heard Katelyn say. My head snapped back and I looked at Katelyn.

"What?" I blinked.

"You're line." Katelyn whispered under her breath, trying not to laugh.

"My - Oh." I quickly said before looking up at the telecommuter. I had forgotten "Um, well Katelyn, I could have sworn I saw Robert Pattison wearing a skort."

"A skort? Robert Pattison?" Katelyn said frowning.

I looked back at the telecommuter and took in a deep breath. "Yeah. You know, skirt in the front, shorts in the back. It's kind of like a mullet for your butt. Pause for laughter." My eyes widen. The laughter was pleasing, even though I didn't say it correctly and it wasn't my joke. Whatever.

"Right." Katelyn slowly nodded. "As we all know the next award that will be given is for Best Band. The nominees are … "

"Black Eyed Peas, Big Time Rush, Jonas Brothers and Burnham." I announced one by one as the video behind me played.

"And the winner is…" Katelyn and I said together as I tore the golden envelope open with shaking hands. Joy washed over me as the band I loved and knew appeared in curvy letters. "BIG TIME RUSH."

Applause erupted and it was then did I realize that not only were celebrities here, but fans were too. Three rows at the back were filled with fans, wearing fan made t-shirts and waving signs. Great. More people to please.

I watched with glee as the boys stood up, waving as they walked up onto the stage. I hand the orange blimp to Kendall and step aside, letting him take the microphone.

"Um, wow." He lets out a small laugh."Honestly, I can't believe we're actually here. I mean, we've always dreamt about getting a award and now it's coming true. We want to thank Nickelodeon and Sony. Um, our producers and directors. Uh, let's thank these two cuties who introduced us," He says, pointing to me and Katelyn. "But mostly our fans, cause without them, we're nothing and we wouldn't be here without their help. So, this one's for you, alright, Rushers?" Kendall said, holding the orange blimp in the air.

The stage director gestured for us to leave the stage and we walk off as the loudspeakers come on once again. "AND WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK. COMING UP NEXT, A PREFORMANCE BY JASON DERULO AND THE AWARD FOR BEST CARTOON VOICE OVER." I tried to walk calmly off the stage but also lost my balance. Logan held me by my waist to hold me still and kissed my cheek.

"You did great." He whispered into my ear as we walked off the stage and headed backstage.

"Not really." I whispered back. The stage director took us to our seats and we were once again, seated near the Victorious crew.

"Nice job, Caitlin." Leon said, smiling brightly.

"Um, no." I said, letting out a small laugh. "I totally screwed up."

"You did fine." Daniella said, waving me off. "It was your first time."

I shrugged. "If you say so."

"ANNNNNND, WELCOME BACK TO THIS YEARS KCA SHOW. PLEEEEEASE WELCOME JASON DERULO WITH HIS NEW HIT SINGLE, IT GIRL!" The loud speaker said, making us turn out attention back to the center stage. As the song It Girl began to play, Logan reached over and grabbed my hand, giving it a tight squeeze.

I looked over to him and he gave me a wink. I smiled at him once more before turning back to the stage and watch fireworks burst from the ground. I don't know what Jason Derulo was doing but whatever it was, it wasn't dancing. I mean, I like his songs and everything but that poppin'-and-lockin' thing just wasn't working for him. If he wasn't embarrassed, I was embarrassed for him.

I paused, then looked around the place again. Everyone was jammin;, bopping their heads, in their perfect dresses and the boys in their perfect suits. Jason Derulo finished his song and Taylor Lautner and Selena Gomez stepped on stage. They began to introduce the next award but I tuned them out. I bit my lip nervously.

I suddenly felt as if I didn't belong - and I didn't. As much as I hate to admit it, maybe Erin was right. I had no talent, therefore, I was only at this award show because of Logan. What was my purpose here? No matter how many times Logan and the others assured me I belonged, I knew deep down I didn't. They were all singers, fantastic singers. And they act too.

It was weird. Just a few months ago, Logan didn't even know I was alive. A few months ago, I was hanging with my friends and working on our band music. I paused, I was probably replaced in the band already. A slight pang went off in my chest, but I bit down on my lip and tried to enjoy the show. Hey, they were probably watching the show and I was here enjoying it. Right? Right. And while they were at home, all together, I was here with tons of more people, right? Right.

And that was the thing.

In a roomful, no, arena full of people but I never felt more alone.