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Chapter Fithteen
Smithy sat in his office with his head down on his desk, he felt like there were elephants thumping around in there and last night really was a mystery to him. Terry knocked on his office door and smiled "Can I come in?". Smithy nodded slightly causing him to raise his hand to his head. "Suffering are we Gov?" Terry smiled sitting down oppisite him. Smithy smiled "I dont have a clue how much I drank last night". Terry nodded "Yeah you were drunk when we got to the pub". Smithy shook his head "I didnt know you were there". Terry lent accross the desk "Do you care about DS Moss at all?". Smithy glanced up at the man sitting oppisite him, not really sure of the connection between Stevie and his hangover. He sighed "Of corse I do... I know I need to appoloygise to her". Terry smiled "Yeah you do... but I would talk to Mickey before he tells her about the women last night". Smithy shook his head "Please dont tell me I pulled a bird last night". Terry smiled "No... but it wernt through a lack of trying". Smithy rose from his seat and as much as his head protested he had to talk to Mickey. "I would never forgive myself I hurt Stevie... I know what I said to her yesterday lunch time was out of order but I will make it up to her". Terry smiled "Smithy... I know these last couple of weeks have been really hard on you... and I havent warned you so you can use it against her.. I have told you cause I know you care about her." Smithy smiled walking towards the door "Thanks Terry, I'll make it up to her".
After hearing Stevie had phoned in sick at work Mickey had took it upon himself to go and visit her. He knocked lightly on the door and smiled as she opened it and sighed "What are you doing here?". Mickey smiled "I brought you a tin of soup.. make you feel better" he smiled passing the small tin to her. Stevie moved aside letting him come through. "You ok then?" he asked sitting down onto the chair in the kitchen. Stevie flicked the kettle on, glancing to her colleague. "Im fine... just felt a bit rough this morning". Mickey nodded "Got anything to do with a certain Inspector". Stevie placed a coffee down infront of Mickey before sliding down oppisite him. "Have you come to tell me about the woman at the pub?" she sighed. Mickey glanced at her, confusion covering his face "How do you know?". Stevie glanced to the floor "Smithy came round last night, he took great pleaseure in telling me". Mickey took a sip of his drink "Nothing really happened Stevie.. he was just chatting to them". He was defending him, he didnt know why but it felt like the right thing to do. "I know... thats why he came to me..". Mickey watched as she wiped the tears from her eyes "Did he hurt you Stevie?". She shook her head "No.." she smiled weakly "Nothing like that we did sleep together" Stevie smiled "He made it quite clear that sex is all Im good for", Mickey smiled "He was drunk Stevie" shaking his head "And I am sure he didnt mean it like that". Stevie laughed lightly "Oh yeah... and how many different ways can he mean I'm easy" she sighed. Mickey glanced up to the small blonde as she took a sip from her coffee. "He actually said that?". Stevie nodded "Yeah... that is what he thinks of me I never want to see him again, I really thought he loved me Mickey... he doesnt care about me he thinks Im a slapper". Mickey shook his head "No he dont.. I dont believe that, he was drunk Stevie... he wouldnt of ment it". He took a final sip from his drink "I have to get back to work... ring me if you want later and we can talk".
Returning to work Mickey made his way to the male locker room seeing Smithy already stood in there he turned to walk straight back out again. "Mickey please..." Smithy smiled grabbing his colleagues arm. Mickey turned to him "I dont want to hear it Smithy". Smithy walked back in from the door way sitting down onto the long bench in the centre of the room "Please... five minutes". Mickey nodded "Fine... go on then start talking". Smithy ran his hand through his hair "Tom... it has hit me hard." he paused "Everyone I care about has died... Kerry, Louise even Carly Sammuals, everyone dies" he paused to recompose himself slightly "Tom has just hit on some raw nerves". Mickey nodded "I know you have lost a lot of people... but you have taken it out on Stevie and its not her fault". Smithy nodded "I know.. I feel so guilty, Im just so scared something is going to happen to her". Mickey smiled "What so you are gunna treat her like shit and push her away". Smithy smiled to him. "Im gunna appolygise for the way I spoke to her, I will make it up to her". He smiled raising his eyes to Mickeys "Please dont tell her about the bird last night" he begged. Mickey shook his head "Shit... do you not remember last night?". Smithy laughed awkwardly "Not really". Mickey stood from the seat "You went to see Stevie when you left the pub... she already knows about the bird, you told her". Smithy placed his head into his hands "Shit... have you seen her? what has she said Mickey?" his sentence blurred into a scrammbled mess. "Smithy... I think you should speak to Stevie". Smithy stood up "Why what else happened?" he asked. Mickey shook his head "Smithy... you slept with her". Smithy let out a sigh of relief "Well.. it could of been worse, we have slept together before". Mickey shook his head "You left straight after.. told her she was only good for one thing, that she is easy". Smithy banged his fist against a locker "Fuck.." he span back round to face Mickey "I bet she hates me now... what did she say?". Mickey glanced to the floor "She wants nothing more to do with you". Smithy tilted his head back running his hand through his dark hair "Shit Mickey... what the hell was I thinking she will never forgive me now... I do love her". Mickey smiled "Try talking to her... she does loves you".
Smithy finished work and pulled on his civillian clothes leaving the station he pulled his hood up over his head, climbing into his car he began the short journey to Stevies. Arriving outside he glanced up at her flat before pulling himself from the car, he needed to face her. Knocking at the door he was surprised how quick she opened it, he smiled weakly. "Truce..." he smiled. Stevie pushed the door shut but Smithy jammed his foot so it flung back open on her. "What do you want?" she asked. "I just want to talk Stevie... clear the air". She glanced to the handsome man infront of her, however nasty he was to her it didnt stop her feelings, it didnt stop her heart telling her she loved him. Opening the door for him to walk through she nodded "This better be good". He led the way into the living room and watched as he sunk slowly down onto a chair. "I... Im gunna start by saying Im sorry..." he moved over leaning down infront of her "I do truely mean that I am sorry for all the hurtfull things I have said and done". He placed his hand to her lap "I am so in love with you Stevie... Im just petrified Im gunna lose you". Stevie smiled weakly at him "You have lost me Smithy... I'll help you the best I can to get over Toms death and I will always be here for you as a friend... but we can never be together". Smithy shook his head taking hold of her hand "Stevie... I didnt mean for last night to happen... cant we just forget". Stevie shook her head "No.. I cant forget it nothing can change how much you hurt me last night... you made me feel like a dirty slut". Smithy shook his head "Your not... you know thats not what I think of you..." she inturupted "I dont though... I do believe you love me Smithy.. but that doesnt mean you dont think I am a tramp". He shook his head "I dont". Stevie rose from the seat "I'll stand by you Smithy and help you the best I can... but we will never be more than friends... I cant". Smithy pulled her into his arms, hugging her tight "I will always love you" she smiled glancing up at him "I love you too... but we cant.." he nodded pulling her head back into his chest, fighting back the tears.
Christmas slowly came and went, Smithy and Stevie both spent it alone wishing they were together. As he approached her desk Stevie didnt know whether to be happy or nervous, the two feelings were mixed whenever she saw him. He smiled as he perched onto the edge of her desk. "Im after a favour..." he began. Stevie smiled at him. "Tom... his body has been realesed his funeral is on Friday, I just wondered if you..." he paused as she placed her hand to his hands resting in his lap. "Of corse I will Smithy... just let me know the time". Smithy smiled sqeezing her hand "Thank you Moss". He rose from her desk making his way from CID. He loved her so much and he needed to work things out with her. She was all that was important and he was determined to prove that to her.
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