Hi guys! Sorry for the late updates. You'd think that I would have more time now that summer is here, but sadly no. One, I've been bus with applications all summer long, and two, my muse has conveniently gone missing again, as always. I need to fire her but she has so much sentimental value, really.
Well anyway here's the new chapter! It's not all that great, and the characters may be a little out of character, but I mean it's a tragedy, how do you think they're supposed to react? At any rate, here it is!
Disclaimer: I own nothing. If I did... I'd keep it for myself! That made no sense.
13 – Death
It is Crystal who squeezes his shoulder when he realizes that his mother is dead, and there's no bringing her back; it is Crystal who doesn't hesitate to pull Gold in for a hug and cry along with him.
It was a Monday, the twenty-sixth of August, when the call came. Nobody was home: Gold was out with Crystal and Gold's mother was out shopping in Goldenrod City for her son's twentieth birthday. "Be good," she had warned Pichu and Exbo as she closed the door behind her, "I don't want to see glass shards on the floor again."
Two hours later, the phone rang shrilly, insistent and demanding for attention as it wailed louder and louder. Exbo looked up from its nap, flames crackling as its temper rose steadily. Are you sure we can't break it? it asked Pichu.
Pichu hopped up on to the table and stared curiously at the ringing telephone. What is it?
It's what they call a telephone. I call it annoying. Exbo got up and paced over to where the phone was. Here- It picked up the receiver with its teeth. Who is it?
A voice came over the line. "Hello? Hello? Is this the residence of the Pokedex Holder Gold? Your mother's in danger! You need to come help! Hello?"
Pichu turned to look at Exbo. Gold's mother is in danger? We have to-
I know, I know. Exbo dropped the phone in its haste. SUDOBO, it roared.
The Sudowoodo fell from its perch on the ceiling lamp, startled from sleep and alarmed by Exbo's demanding tone. What? Why do you always have to yell? I was-
Go to Goldenrod, Exbo ordered as Pichu hopped over to the door and began swinging on the handle to open it. Now.
Why do I need to go to Goldenrod? Sudobo wanted to know.
Gold's mother is in danger. The door swung open, and Pichu hopped down. It hopped over to where Exbo was and swung onto its head, perching slightly above the flames. Exbo pawed the ground. Tell the others to guard the house in case anyone comes. Take Sunbo with you. And hurry, Sudobo!
…
"What a wonderful day," Crystal said happily as she strolled through the streets of Violet City. "It's sunny, it's bright, it's not too hot-"
"Speak for yourself," Gold muttered, wiping off yet another bead of sweat off his forehead.
"Well, if you didn't insist on wearing your cap and a turtleneck…"
"It's not my fault that the weather forecast told me it would be cold today in Violet City," Gold protested.
"Oh please. We all know that you decided to wear a turtleneck because you thought it would be cold in Falkner's Gym."
Gold contemplated arguing with Crystal, but wisely decided against it. "Maybe that had a little part in it."
"Maybe?" Crystal's amused smile tugged at the corners of her mouth as she threaded her fingers through Gold's hands. The both of them stood at five feet seven, tall and lanky from years of strenuous training out on the field, and as such towered over most of the Dex Holders. Only Red and Green had the privilege of looming over the two at just over six feet; but then again Gold didn't mind, as long as he could make a dig at Silver every chance that he got.
"Where is Silver?" he asked suddenly, remembering that the redhead was supposed to meet them in Violet City for lunch. "He's somewhat late isn't he?"
"Just half an hour, Gold," Crystal sighed resignedly. "What is the point of me getting the both of you watches if you two never show up on time?"
"I resent that remark-"
"Gold," Crystal said in exasperation, "last time we had a date, you were late by forty-five minutes."
"I highly resent that remark," Gold began to repeat, but was stopped by Crystal craning her neck around him and squinting into the far off distance. "What is it now, Super Serious Gal?"
"I don't know." Crystal shaded her eyes. "From here it looks like a Typhlosion- but there are hardly any wild ones around here."
Gold squinted, too. "Is that a Pichu?"
"Are those yours?" Crystal asked.
"Maybe…" Gold frowned, feeling dread settle in his stomach. "I didn't take them out today. I figured that Silver's Feraligatr and Polibo would be enough to take out Falkner… and Mom borrowed Aibo when she left for Goldenrod this morning."
"You don't think something's wrong…" And Crystal let her sentence trail off.
"No. No, of course not," Gold laughed, even though he felt his skin prickle. "They probably got restless, that's all."
Crystal's phone rang just then, and she turned away. "Excuse me for a second."
Gold nodded absently, watching as the Typhlosion and Pichu neared them. That is Exbo and Pichu, he realized as the definitive shapes of the Pokemon became clearer. He recognized the Pink Bow he had given to Pichu as it scampered along next to the hulking Typhlosion; but what was unfamiliar to Gold was the rare, urgent expression written on both Exbo's and Pichu's face. "Hello," he greeted as his Pokemon skidded to a stop in front of him. "What are you- whoaaaa!"
Exbo grabbed his trainer's pants and began tugging. Gold stumbled along before digging his heels into the ground- "I love you too, Exbo, but I'm sort of busy here…"
His Fire Pokemon stared him in the eye, urgency and frustration written all over its face. Come on, it seemed to be urging, and for once Gold was at a loss at what to do. "Where do you want me to go?" he asked.
Pichu began pushing Gold in a westward direction. "Pi pi pi!" Let's go, you have no time to waste!
"But what am I-" Gold began.
"Gold," Crystal's voice said from behind him. His Pokemon immediately stopped what they were doing, and turned to face her instead. Gold sighed and turned around himself, smoothing out his pants as he did so. "I don't know what they're- Crys?" he asked in alarm when he saw the tear stains on her face. "What's wrong?"
"Gold," his girlfriend repeated, her voice cracking. "Gold, that was Silver."
"Was he calling to tell us he was going to be late? Because that shouldn't really make…you…cry…" Gold trailed off when he saw Crystal's shoulders begin to shake with new sobs. "Crys, what's wrong?"
"Gold, it's your mother. She's hurt. We need to get to Goldenrod right away."
The golden-eyed boy could only stand helplessly and stare at Crystal, unable to process what she had just said "My… my mother?" he stammered.
He didn't know how, but somehow he managed to release his Mantine, and Crystal somehow managed to drag him onto the flying Pokemon with the aid of Exbo and Pichu. My mother is hurt. Silver is with her.
My mother is hurt…?
…
Gold was met on the ground by an anxiously pacing Silver. "Well, it's about time you showed," Silver snarled, his tone brusquer than usual. "We called your house over an hour ago."
"I wasn't home," Gold said distractedly. "What happened? Is Mom okay? Are you okay? Where is she?"
Crystal laid a hand on his arm, and was alarmed to find that he was shaking with some sort of suppressed nerves. "You two," she said softly, "need to breathe."
She chalked it up to Silver's frayed nerves- Mew's tail, was that blood on his shirt?- when he completely bypassed her instructions. "I don't know, it was so stupid, I should have done something-"
"What happened?" Gold asked with more insistence.
"I don't know!" Silver pulled at his hair in frustration. "All I know is that one second I was in the Goldenrod Shopping Center finishing up a conversation with Whitney, and then the next second there's screaming from outside… a herd of Rhyhorn must have escaped from somewhere, and then the next thing I know-" He stopped, and Crystal was alarmed to see tears sparkling at the corners of Silver's eyes.
Silver never cried. The last time he almost had was when he thought Gold was dead.
Gold made to take a step forward, but Crystal gripped him tighter. "What happened?" he asked through gritted teeth.
"Your mother… she couldn't… she must have released Aibo but that monkey couldn't do anything against the Rhyhorn." Silver rubbed his eyes, swiping them with the back of his hand. "I tried stanching the blood, but there was just so much-"
"Is she okay?" Gold interrupted.
Silver tried to look into his best friend's eyes, but couldn't. "I don't know," he said to the ground. "She's in the Pokemon Center."
Gold's eyes blinked rapidly. "Did the paramedics say anything?"
Crystal, in her calmer state of mind, saw what Gold's hopeful gaze could not: the intense shudder of pain that ran through Silver's body even as he opened his mouth to lie. "Yes, they said she would be fine. Pokemon Center. Go."
Gold made to sprint off, but stopped himself. He laid a hand on Silver's shoulder. "Are you okay?" he asked, voice trembling as he gave his best friend a quick once-over.
"Perfect. Go." Silver tore his arm away from Gold's, still unable to meet those golden pain-filled eyes. Gold didn't need to be told three times- he sprinted down the street, kicking up dust as he ran towards the Pokemon Center.
Crystal moved slowly towards the redhead. "Silver," she began.
"Don't say anything," Silver snapped. "It should have been me in that Pokemon Center, and you know it."
"It's not your fault."
"Tell that to Gold when he realizes that his mother is about die."
…
The Center was in mass chaos when Gold burst in through the doors. "My mom," he babbled hysterically as he ran towards Nurse Joy. "I am-"
"Gold of New Bark Town," Nurse Joy supplied. "I know. Gold, sit-"
"No!" The word was ripped from Gold's throat with the ferocity of a thunderclap. "I need to see her now! You don't understand…"
"Gold, sit," Nurse Joy insisted. "Please."
Behind her, he could see several doctors and nurses rush in and out of the emergency room. Gold's legs gave out, and he collapsed into the plastic chair in front of the desk. "I need to see her," he mumbled, rubbing his eyes. "I need to-"
"-breathe," Nurse Joy said firmly. "You need to breathe."
Exbo nuzzled up against Gold, crooning something that Gold was completely tuned off to. Pichu hopped up on Gold's left side, attempting to hug its trainer but fell woefully short; instead it wrapped its tiny arms around Gold's left arm and buried its head deep into the fabric.
Gold slumped in the chair, feeling misery and exhaustion travel through his veins. "Can I say goodbye?" he asked, looking up.
"She's not gone yet," Nurse Joy said softly.
Gold just stared at her, and Nurse Joy turned her head away at the lie she was forced to tell. "Please sit," she said numbly, and hurried away to hide the tears threatening to spill from her eyes. I only deal with unconscious Pokemon, she couldn't help thinking, I've never had to look Death in the eyes before.
The glass doors slid open and a wounded Whitney stumbled in, dabbing Potion on her cuts and hissing as the medicine seeped through her skin. "Gold," she said in alarm when she noticed the slumped former Johto Champion, "Gold, what are you doing here?"
She realized what a stupid question that was a second later, and so she hastily backtracked. "I mean, I mean-" She changed topics before Gold's pain-filled expression could get any more misery-inducing. "Are you okay?"
Gold realized with bitterness that they were all avoiding the real questions: Have you said goodbye? How's your mother? What's it like knowing she won't live? There was no comfort, no sympathy they could verbally express, because to express sympathy was to admit that his mother was beyond repair, and to admit that would completely destroy him. Or maybe they just didn't think they could be close enough without being overwhelmed by this choking feeling of helplessness. So he only turned his head away at the sight of Whitney's blood-soaked shirt sleeve. "Where's the Rhyhorn?" he mumbled, ignoring her question.
"Unconscious. We think that it may have been spooked by an illegal explosion… but it's gone now, it won't…" Whitney stopped, seeing Gold's body turn completely away from her. "I…"
Silver and Crystal appeared behind Whitney just then, the latter completely in tears as she held on to Silver's arm. "Whitney," Silver said gruffly, "maybe you should come back later. He's just…"
Hurt. Frustrated. Angry. Miserable. Numb. All these were words that popped into Crystal's head, but she could say none of them. Instead, she watched as Whitney nodded, her lip trembling as she limped towards the nurse's station. Crystal realized that this was the first time she had ever seen Silver defend his friend verbally; so often it was insults and jibes at each other that it was easy for her to forget that they were best friends.
It pained her to understand that the first time Silver ever jumped to Gold's defense so quickly was under such tragic circumstances.
Up ahead, the door slowly swung open, and three sets of eyes darted to the opening door. Crystal took a step forward as Gold jumped off his seat eagerly, watching his Sudowoodo as it waddled down the road, blood all over its stubby hands. "Sudobo," Gold said too quickly, "are you hurt? What's going on?"
Sudobo only sat down heavily in the plastic chair next to Typhlosion, and closed its eyes. "Sudowoo…" it sighed heavily before looking up at its stricken trainer.
In that moment, all Crystal could think was, What sort of doctor sends a Pokemon out to tell a trainer that his mother is dead?
…
Silver held Crystal back as she made an attempt to follow Gold into the emergency room. "Don't," the redhead said quietly. "Give him a few minutes. It's a hard time… he needs to understand."
Crystal tried to understand why Silver looked so heartbroken about Gold's mother's death.
When she probed him about it, Silver laughed bitterly. "Because it was my idea. I was sentimental this one year because Gold's almost twenty…so I mentioned that I'd like to get him a present this year. A good one. Not a rock like I got him last year." He pulled his bangs again. "So his mother offered to come with me to Goldenrod. If I hadn't decided on today, if I hadn't stayed back with Whitney, if I hadn't-"
"It's not your fault," Crystal repeated.
"But it is." Silver fixed her with the flat stare he was so good at giving.
They were both silent for a minute before Silver spoke again. "She was a good woman."
Crystal could only nod, imagining that if it was difficult for both of Gold's best friends, if it was difficult for the ever-stoic Silver, how much harder it had to be for the lonely boy in the room.
…
Did the paramedics say anything?
Yes, they said she would be fine.
She's not gone yet.
All the unspoken I'm sorrys.
His imaginary retort: What are you sorry for?
Their unspoken reply: Sorry that you weren't there to save her.
He sat, dazed, by the bedside where his mother lay. Her face was deathly pale, her skin chalk white like the chalk she used to teach the second graders math with every Tuesday afternoon. Even her lips were white- Gold had always thought that the movies exaggerated that point.
"I'm sorry," he said to the room, his voice bouncing off the empty walls. At his feet, Sunbo hugged his leg a little tighter- its show of affection and comfort. Gold reached out to grasp his mother's fingers in his, and shuddered at how cold it was, and limp. "I'm sorry, Mom."
What are you sorry for?
"Sorry that I wasn't here to save you." He answered the unspoken question, pressed his mother's fingers against his lips. Her golden wedding band was cool, reminding Gold that just like his father, she was gone in the wind. "Sorry that I couldn't be a better son."
He felt two hands place themselves on his shoulders, and he inhaled deeply as the tears clouded his eyes. Crystal, he thought as he felt water drip onto the back of his neck- she was crying. "Sorry that I…" He couldn't continue for a moment, feeling the weight of twenty years press down on him. "Sorry that you will never get to see me grow."
Crystal whispered his name softly, and he took her hands in his even as he placed his mother's hands on her chest. "Sorry that you will never get to see me at my wedding. Sorry that I never said thank you. Sorry that I spent the years traveling without visiting home…"
He could remember the very first time he stepped out to explore the Johto region. He could remember her expression, longing and nostalgic as she watched her son do the very same thing her husband had done so many years ago. He remembered her delighted smile when he returned home after defeating the Masked Man- delighted, but tinged with regret because she never got to watch her son grow up. Gold began to cry then, because he hadn't understood till now how much his mother had sacrificed for him.
He heard Silver outside, talking in a low voice to someone. It sounded like Blue judging from the smooth voice and slight Kanto accent; Green must have been with her, because Gold heard Silver ask, "Shouldn't you be at your Gym?"
Gold tried not to feel hurt that his best friend wasn't in the room with him grieving, but he failed. Silver had somehow become one of the many people who abandoned him in his time of need, and it hurt.
Crystal moved just then to stand next to him instead. "Perhaps we should go," she whispered, gently picking up Sunbo with one hand. "Let her rest in peace, Gold."
Rest in peace… Gold took a deep, shuddering breath. "She's dead," he said aloud, feeling the words echo tonelessly through the room.
Crystal placed Sunbo down on the floor again, and the Pokemon chose to leave the room. "Yes, Gold," she said softly, approaching him with an outstretched hand. "I'm sorry."
"What are you sorry for?" Gold asked numbly, feeling the question come back to haunt him again. He felt as though it was an overused cliché, a trite question at this point. "Why are you sorry?"
Crystal did not miss a beat. "I'm sorry that you had to hurt this way." She stopped in front of him and took his face in her hands. "Come with me….please." Her eyes were glimmering in the hospital lights, and Gold wondered briefly if she was crying, too. "Okay," he whispered, his voice rough and cracked.
But he didn't move, and Crystal waited patiently for him. "She's really dead," Gold said after a while, staring numbly at his mother. He felt the first tear streak down his cheek as the reality began to catch up to him. "She's really…"
He didn't know when he collapsed, whether it was after the second, third, or fiftieth tear. All he remembered was collapsing onto the floor, sobbing as Crystal pulled him into a tight hug and rested her head against his shoulder. "It's okay," she murmured, her voice thick with tears as well, "it's okay."
Gold felt that with those two words, his heart shattered into tiny, tiny pieces, but at least he knew that Crystal's heart was breaking, too. "Am I alone now?" he whispered.
"No," Crystal answered quietly, leaning her head on his shoulder. "No, you're never alone. I've got you."
Crystal, the only one who entered into his own personal world of misery.
Crystal, the only one who read between the lines.
Gold took a deep breath and felt the fog of his misery recede by the slightest inch. "Okay," he whispered, his voice croaking. "I… let's go."
So in the end it was Crystal who held him as he walked out of the hospital room, feeling like he was older than twenty. It was Crystal who never let go amidst all the hugs from an emotional Blue and a wary consolation from Green, who looked like he wanted to be anywhere but here. And it was Crystal who finally asked him, "Are you okay?"- and meant it- a month later when he was looking at the urn that contained his mother's ashes.
Yes, Gold reflected later, everyone had kept their distance when he was raw and hurting, but at least he would always have Crystal. And as long as that was true, he would be okay.
You can tell where I began losing my muse right? Right? Sigh. Oh well.. reviews, constructive criticism always appreciated :) Thanks for reading!