Well. I know I said not to get your hopes up for the next chapter to show up on the 20th, but I wasn't expecting it to be this late. I do apologize (whether or not you really cared) and to make up for it (whether or not you really care), I drew a Zoro Bunny. Check my profile for it, I hope it turned out okay.

Warning! For some poor reason, Smoker is rather out of character, and I am very sorry for that, but I couldn't seem to find any other way to make this work. I also need to change the rating to Teen...

My flow's all messed up what with that long break to clean up the desk to make room for new textbooks so...bear with me. The next chapters should start to get a little smoother. This chapter got really far off from Carroll's text...Oh well, enjoy!

One Piece belongs to Eiichiro Oda and Alice in Wonderland belongs to Lewis Carroll. I just stitched the two together to see if I could make a quilt.

Smoker and Luffy stared at each other. Slowly, Smoker removed one of his two cigars and addressed Luffy in a slow voice.

"Strawhat."

"Hi," replied Luffy. He was unsure of whether to run or not. Smoker means Marines and Marines means trouble and trouble means Garp and Garp means…Luffy lost his train of thought at that point.

Smoker then unrolled the cigar that he had removed from his mouth. "Tashigi bought me the wrong cigars."

Luffy tilted his head. "How do you know?"

Smoker showed the pirate the contents of the cigar. "There's nothing but marijuana in here."

"Ohh that must be why you aren't chasing after me right now."

"Probably."

After that remark from the marine officer, a sort of awkward, sort of baked, silence settled between the two. Smoker continued to smoke his joints and showed no signs of throwing them away. Luffy decided to sit down. And then he realized something odd.

"Hey, how did Usopp and Chopper get here? I thought they were on the ship."

Smoker took a puff before answering. "Maybe you're on something."

"Am not!"

"Are too," Smoker puffed out two smoke lines, the second one longer than the first, making the kanji character for the number two.

Luffy sat up straight. "So cool! How did you do that?"

"Not sure."

"Teach me! Give me a cigar so I can try, too!"

"Get your own."

"But you have two!"

"And neither are for you," Smoker puffed. As he said the last word, he puffed out a smoky "u."

"Commodore Smoker!" two voices cried.

Coby and Helmeppo climbed up onto the mushroom and saluted smartly.

"Commodore Smoker, you are cordially invited to Vice-Admiral Garp's house for tea and crackers!"

Smoker stood up. "Perfect, I'm starving." He took a few casual steps and stopped.

"One side will make you smaller, and the other side will make you grow."

The two marine boys looked at each other. "Er…the side of what, sir?"

"The mushroom," Smoker resumed walking and did not offer any more of an explanation.

The boys exchanged another glance. Helmeppo shrugged. Deciding that they could worry about it later, Coby turned to properly greet his old friend.

"Luffy!" Coby smiled. "How have you been?"

Luffy smiled back. "Great! But I want to get into that neat looking garden!"

"Garden? Oh, you must mean the queen's garden. You'll have to go back to the corridor with all those doors and go through the little one behind the curtain."

Luffy sagged. "But Buggy wouldn't let me in because I was too big and I almost punched him in the face and then I think I drowned him."

Coby pondered over the situation. It wasn't easy to reach a decision after hearing the last two thirds of Luffy's sentence, so he tried to make as much sense as possible. "Maybe we should follow Smoker's advice. He said one side of this mushroom will make you smaller."

Luffy looked down. "But which side?"

The mushroom was perfectly round aside for two black spherical nubs growing near each other on one side. After following it along the edge, they decided that the line that splits the mushroom in half was right between the two lumps.

Helmeppo pulled out his dual kukri. "So, we'll just cut off these weird growths and one should make you make big, but the other will make you smaller."

Before he could even swing, the black and white mushroom uprooted itself, looked around, and fled.

A few seconds passed before the group of boys realized what had happened. Luffy immediately took action and dashed after the runaway fungus.

"Get back here, I have to eat you!"

Although it had roots for legs, it was surprisingly agile. Luffy had a hard time keeping up with it and constantly ran into branches that the mushroom seemed to have been able to evade quite easily. When Luffy finally got out to a clearing, he saw an eerie looking mansion. It looked haunted…Spooky, rather. It looked like a good place to find beetles. Forgetting all about his chase, he headed towards the house's front door.

Sorry again for OOC Smoker...I'll try to make sure this doesn't happen later.

Oh, I never mentioned the battle against Mohji and Richie, did I? Well, they were about to fight, but a flying driftwood Buggy door flew smack into their faces and knocked them both out. Zoro, Usopp, and Chopper decided to just leave since it didn't look like they were about to wake up anytime soon. When the two finally woke up, they were happily reunited with their captain. Yayyy~

I start classes on the 29th so...new chapters will be few and far in between...Sorry. This is the fifth chapter so if I keep staying on course with Carroll's book, I got seven more to go...I'm almost halfway...I hope you'll stay tuned. Thank you!