My goodness...What year is this? Is it still 2011? Just barely.../sobs
I like how in the last chapter I said that new chapters would be few and far in between...I was not expecting that to mean...4 months later. I'm very sorry. This semester was a lot more tough than I thought it would be.

In here, it looks like I was able to follow the original Carroll text a little better...A few things were tweaked as usual. I don't know what else to write in here, I'm so out of my groove and to be honest, I really just want to publish this thing and go catch up on all the stories I haven't been able to read. I've got the next two chapters in pretty good shape, too, so if I'm really diligent, I'll be posting chapters every 2-3 days and get this thing DONE.

One Piece belongs to Eiichiro Oda and Alice in Wonderland to Lewis Carroll. I am only responsible for reacting the two together to see what sort of compounds will precipitate from it.

As Luffy got closer to the creepy mansion, he was able to make out two figures at the door.

"If you could go anywhere on vacation, where would you go?" Bartholomew Kuma asked.

"Yes, yes, I already know about your ability. What did you come here for?" Gekko Moria questioned back.

Kuma handed the shichibukai a card. "All shichibukai are invited to croquet with the queen tonight."

Moria took the card and looked it over. "Croquet tonight. Ugh. Fine, see you then."

Without another word, Kuma rotated himself 180 degrees and walked off, allowing Luffy the perfect chance to approach the main entrance.

Moria sat down and slouched against the door. "Oh, what is it now?"

"Can I go in there?" Luffy pointed inside the house.

The giant misshaped pirate glowered at the boy. "You're supposed to knock."

"But you're in the way."

"Well, I'm not moving."

"Then I don't have to knock!" Luffy huffed and marched right in.

His nose and ears led him straight to the kitchen where he nearly missed a plate smashing into his face and a cacophony of crashes and wailing were at its maximum decibel.

"Cindry! We need those plates to eat on!" Dr. Hogback gawked at the mess of shards that was rapidly piling up.

"I wish all plates would disappear…" the girl muttered.

"But I need to get this zombie baby to sleep!" the doctor protested.

Luffy did a double-take. "A baby with severe injuries?"

"Cindry-chan! Lunch is ready!" Sanji twirled from the stove.

Luffy did another double-take. "Hey! You're supposed to be MY cook, Sanji!"

At that point, Moria lumbered into the kitchen. "All right, time to head to the queen's court for croquet. Let's go already and get this over with."

"Yes, Moria-sa—Cindry, why are you standing in front of me? Here, you deal with this thing," Dr. Hogback commanded as he tossed the bundle to Luffy.

Luffy caught it with ease and took a look at the baby's face. To his astonishment, it looked just like Sanji. According to Luffy, anyways.

"Sanji? Is this your baby?"

"No way in Hell!" the blonde kicked his captain straight in the face. The baby continued to wail but it began to bulge and soon grew up to become Duval.

"Dis is all yer fault! Ah'm being persecuted like some pirate! Ah ain't a pirate!" Duval jabbed his finger in Sanji's direction.

"Shut up!" and with that, the cook proceeded to fix Duval's bone structure. Duval became so pleased with his new face that he left the mansion to start picking up chicks.

"Now that it's so peaceful, I can finally devote all my love and attention to…Robin-chwan!" He spun over to the woman had been sitting quietly with a book at the end of the dining table. She thanked the cook and directed her gaze to Luffy.

"Hello, Luffy. What are you up to now?"

The boy scratched his head. "Exploring, I guess. This place is really neat. Which way do you think I should go next?"

She turned a page of her book. "That depends where you want to get to."

"I don't care."

"Then it doesn't matter which way you walk."

The ever so bright captain tilted his head to side. "My brain's starting to hurt, Robin. Can you make it easier?"

"Certainly," Robin said. A hand sprouted out from the table and pointed to the left. "In that direction, lives the March Hawk." Another hand sprouted out and pointed in the opposite direction. "Over there lives the Mad Hatter. Pick whoever you'd like to meet."

Luffy reached up to pat his hat. "Hats are cool. I'll go see the Mad Hatter, I guess." He walked out the door and stopped.

"That's right, I also wanted to see that garden. Do you know how I can get in?"

The woman smiled. "Do you play croquet with the queen today?"

"I don't know. It sounds fun, but I haven't been invited yet."

She smiled wider and vanished. "Let's all rendezvous there."

"Robin-chwan? Where did you go? Nooooo!" Sanji fell to his knees as he choked back a sob. "You go on ahead, Luffy…I have to find her."

And so, Luffy walked out the door alone and headed in the direction of the Mad Hatter's house. It wasn't long before he could make out the sounds of a conversation and a very familiar voice…

Hats are cool. Seriously, cool people in One Piece wear hats. Mihawk, Ace, Trafalgar Law, Chopper, Dr. Hiriluk, to name a few. And if not hats, bandanas. Marco should wear a hat. But then it'll hide his pineapple hair. I like his hair, oddly enough. Okay, moving on...

I really liked how the original story had plates being thrown. It suited Cindry well. Everything after that, however...got kind of weird. Oops.

So what happened to Smoker? Did he manage to make it to Garp's despite his high? Well, what happened was that while strolling along, the hollow ghost that Garp haki-ripped out of himself flew smack into Smoker. Apparently, a high Smoker that becomes negative makes a normal Smoker, and the sight of the Buggy pirates sobered him up so well that the hollow ghost fled from fright and Smoker dragged the pirates to Garp's house as a gift to Garp.
This worked out fairly well, for Garp was hoping for some entertainment and he also needed a new door. What made the new door even better was that unlike normal doors, Buggy will actually duck when he hears Garp approaching. This results in a lot of time, money, and wood saved from having to constantly repair normal ones. Yayyy~