Author's Note: This story is really taking on a life of its own for me and I really hope that you enjoy it. Like I said last time, I want to thank Corey for her unflagging inspiration and assistance in making this happen. She's one of the most talented writers I know so if she approves on these chapters, then I know they have to be good. hehe.
Like I mentioned in the previous chapter, this is when the real story starts happening. Everything in italics are flashbacks. If you have any other questions, let me know and I'll be happy to answer to them.
I listened to alot of "Broken" by Lifehouse while writing this first chapter so it's title "Who We Are" come from the album title the song is located on. I hope you enjoy!
Edit 11/3/2009: For some reason the italics continued after the flashback so until it fixes, i'll point out which are flashbacks.
* * *
The keys jingle as a pair of slender fingers turn them in the lock. As the door creaks open, Brooke Davis walks into the familiar home belonging to one of her best friends. Lucas Scott, quite possibly the strongest person she has ever met, is a single father and nothing has ever seemed to slow him down. He had a rocky period after his wife passed away on the operating room table. Luckily, he found solace in the beautiful little blonde girl that she gave him as a final gift.
As the anniversary of that fateful night rapidly approaches, Brooke has been thinking about it a lot recently. But today is not a day to be sad, Brooke decides as she reaches down to take the small hand that she let go of to push the door open. A perky dark haired girl eagerly reaches up for her mother's hand and bounces once as they step inside the house.
"Luke?" Brooke calls out.
Usually the room is filled with energy but it feels quiet today. She places a bag of groceries on the kitchen table and listens for a sound but none comes. His car is here, Brooke remembers. He has to be home. She kneels down to get eye level with her blue eyed, beautiful daughter. "Baby, why don't you go see if Penny's awake and I'll look for Uncle Lucas okay?"
Grace Elizabeth Baker. She has the fiery personality of her mother and the inquisitive nature of her father. Born ten months after the loss of Peyton Sawyer, she has become a constant reminder, to her mother, that even out of the most horrible situations, good things can come. Grieving for Peyton brought her closer to Julian, who gave her this miracle.
Grace smiles and nods her head. "Okay Mama." She says as she turns and runs down the hall.
Brooke watches her and knows that she couldn't picture her life without her daughter. Sometimes it's hard, overwhelming, but always rewarding. Once Grace rounds the corner and walks into Penny's room, Brooke steps further into the house. It's almost natural for her to pick up the pink basket she finds behind the couch and put stray dolls that Penny left out back in it.
From down the hall, she hears two little giggles and knows Penny's awake; now to wake Lucas.
With the toys put away, Brooke walks down the hall and knocks on Lucas's bedroom door twice before he opens it. His hair is messy and the left side of his face is red. Brooke has seen him like this before and as the smile spreads across her lips, she shakes her head. "You do know they make beds for a reason, right?" She's sure he fell asleep in front of his computer yet again, writing the world's next great novel.
"Morning Brooke." Lucas says as he runs his palm along his face and then through his hair.
She smiles, "Good morning to you too, sleepy." The sounds of bubbling laughter widens her smile as she looks back towards his daughter's bedroom door. She can't help laughing along with them. The sound coming from Penny makes Brooke think about Peyton. Sure, it still makes her heart ache but it has been incredible to watch Peyton's daughter and her own become close friends. It's like a part of both of them will always live on. She turns back to Lucas and smiles when she sees the same look on his face that she's sure she's wearing.
* * *
Lucas looks at Brooke and sees a familiar look on her face. He doesn't want to think about what happened to make them have the same expression. It's already that time of year. They are only a couple days out now.
The day would be just like the other four. He would get Penny up, make waffles for breakfast and once they were dressed, they would go to the cemetery. By the time they get back home, Brooke, Nathan and Haley will have the decorations up so that they can celebrate her birthday, as well. Lucas hates that, for the rest of her life, Penny will always celebrate her birth and mourn her mother's death on the same day.
He shakes the thoughts from his head and leans against the doorframe. Brooke Davis has been an immense help in his life. She helped him through the early struggles of raising a daughter and continues to help raise his little Penny. He wants his daughter to have a strong female influence; Brooke is perfect for that. He smiles at her, "You know what I need?"
"A shower, because you're starting to stink of 'overworked author'?" She fires back.
He chuckles and rubs his hand through his hair again before he hangs it from the back of his neck. "I was going to say a cup of coffee."
Brooke holds up her pointer finger and smiles, "Luckily for you, I can accommodate. You get the shower, I'll get the coffee. I still have a little while before I have to be at the shop."
"Thanks, Brooke."
He watches the grin spread across her cheeks and into the crevices of her dimples as she turns. He steps back into his room but overhears her open the door across the hall to check in on Penny and Grace. He listens as she encourages them to wash their hands, tells Penny to get dressed and offers to get them breakfast. He doesn't know what he would do without Brooke Davis. Back in the day, he never would have imagined that his life would lead him here.
Sometimes he feels like he has become his mother, as he raises his child the way she raised him.
But he can't complain. Lucas has a good life, wonderful friends, a beautiful daughter, and finally the spark to write has come back. He walks into the bathroom and turns the water on. As the steam fogs the mirror, he leans on the sink and then wipes his hand along the glass to see his face.
* * *
Flashback
He doesn't want to see his face.
Lucas leans against the sink and as his eyes settle on his image, he stares at unfamiliar blood shot eyes and for a moment, he wonders who this stranger is looking back at him. But in the end, he knows. As a sigh crosses his lips, he leans forward and presses his head against the cool sink and he considers staying there all night.
The sound of the door opening, however quietly, sounds like an explosion and it jars him. "Go away." He moans, content to stay right there all night.
Brooke Davis still cannot believe what she sees. It breaks her heart to see him grieve like this and it frightens her for the infant asleep just a room over. "Lucas--"
"I said, go away." His voice is heavy, the words slur as they just barely make it out his mouth.
She looks at him and she wants to cry. She's stuck between sympathy and anger. He had told her that he was going to spend some time with Nathan tonight. She agreed to babysit Penny because she had been so elated that he wanted to go out. Halfway through the night, once Penny was already sleeping, she'd called Haley to have some girl talk. When she asked about the guys, Haley admitted that Nathan was home and hadn't made plans to go out with Lucas.
It was Haley and Nathan who found Lucas at the bar, drowning in his sorrow.
She presses her lips together and walks past him. Her three month pregnant belly is slightly rounded underneath the button up shirt. Her hand slides along the small swell as she pulls the shower curtains back and turns the knobs to get the shower running. "I told you to get a shower," she says. She already picked out a t-shirt and sweat pants for him to change into.
"You're not my mother," he retorts, drunkenly.
Her eyes widen slightly as she makes a face, "Excellent comeback."
The shower is running now and the steam is starting to cloud the air. She turns to Lucas and wants to say something meaningful that'll help him, but nothing comes from her parted lips. Suddenly, the cries of a woken four month old echo throughout the room.
Brooke walks to the door. "You get a shower. I'll get Penny."
He doesn't know why he says it but the words slip from his mouth like venom. "You're not her mother, either." When Brooke stops at the door, he wants to stop himself. He doesn't. "She doesn't need you." He doesn't know what he feels right now. He's stuck. While he is grateful that he has help, he starts to feel like he'll lose Peyton even quicker with another woman stepping in as her mother figure. He sees the pang of hurt that crosses her face and he wishes he could take it back.
She feels like she's been hit with a truck. Tears gather in her eyes that she swats at the moment they hit her cheeks. She gathers herself and looks at Lucas. She can't be angry at him. He's drunk. He's lost. She can't argue with him. She doesn't want to. A few moments pass as she just looks at him. Then through a tear clogged voice, she whispers, "No, she doesn't. She needs you, Luke." She tries to choke back the tears that want to fall.
"Sober up," She hisses as she slips out of the room.
He feels like a complete ass. He wants to tell her that he didn't mean it but the room is spinning. By the time he's out of his clothes, he notices that Penny is no longer crying.
With a sigh, he steps into the shower and lets the hot water run over his body. She's right. His daughter needs him but he hasn't been here for her.
He leans his head on the cold, slick tiles and lets the tears fall from his eyes.
End Flashback
* * *
"Alright," he says, as he steps into the living room where he hears the girls' voices. His shower had been very refreshing and exactly what he needed to get a jump start on the day. His plaid button up shirt hangs over a pair of blue jeans and socks. He claps his hands together, "Who's ready for breakfast?"
He smiles when he sees all of his girls. Penny's sitting on Brooke's lap as she lets the older woman fix her hair. Grace is on the floor by Brooke's feet as she mimics her mother and brushes one of Penny's dolls' hair. There's a cartoon on the television but neither girls pay any mind to it. Lucas takes a minute to just soak it all in. He would never admit it but he likes little moments like these when he feels like they have one real family instead of two broken ones.
Penny turns her head to look at her father and giggles, "We already had breakfast, daddy."
Lucas walks over to the couch and leans on the back of it so he can be closer to his daughter. "Is that right?"
"Mm-hmm!" She declares happily. "Aunt Brooke brought bagels and strawberries and peaches, too!"
Brooke has to adjust how they are sitting as Penny grows increasingly excited. She is a daddy's girl to the core and absolutely loves being around him. When Lucas looks into her eyes, he can see himself staring back at him. She's beautiful and he feels like he could be happy like this for the rest of their lives, just the two of them. Though, it isn't really only the two of them.
"Peaches, too?" He asks excitedly. "But they're your favorite!"
Penny squeals, "I know."
Lucas smiles at Brooke. "Thanks for that." He knows that if she hadn't brought breakfast this morning, he would have had to rush to make something. He hadn't planned on falling asleep in front of the laptop the night before but he was on a roll. Time flies when he can get into his story.
"No problem," she says. "And there's coffee in the pot. I left your mug on the table."
He definitely has no idea what he would do without her.
* * *
Flashback
What would he do without her? Lucas wonders as rolls over. His head is pounding like an animal trying to get out of its cage. He knows by the light that shines into the room it must be late. That means Brooke is still here, probably taking care of Penny. He groans as he pushes himself up and swings his legs over the side of the bed. He sees a glass of water and two aspirins on his bedside table.
Apparently, Penny isn't the only one she's taking care of.
He swallows the pills and finishes half of the glass before dragging himself out of bed. All he wants is to go back to bed and sleep for the rest of the day. His whole body aches. He knows he shouldn't have gone drinking but for one night, he just wanted to pretend all the hurt in his life was gone.
As he steps out of the room, he sees that the nursery door is open. He walks to it and peeks his head in as he uses the wall to keep himself up. He swallows the knot in his throat when he sees Brooke rocking in the chair with his baby girl asleep against her chest.
Penny squeezes Brooke's finger in her sleep and it makes her smile. She doesn't even hear Lucas at first.
"Brooke."
It makes her stomach knot. She spent most of the night trying to find the words she wanted to say but they never came. She presses her lips together and looks down at Penny. "She's a beautiful little girl, Luke."
He's expecting her to yell at him but then again, she wouldn't do that while holding the baby. "Yeah, she is."
Brooke nods, as she carefully navigates out of the rocking chair. She tries not to wake Penny, while leaning over the crib and placing the baby down. She smiles softly as she gently touches Penny's belly and she doesn't think about Lucas for a second. What she did think about, were the things he said to her the night before. Was she too clingy when it came to Penny? Penny was the only thing left in the world that was purely a part of Peyton, her sole reminder. Maybe she was holding on too tightly.
She lets out a sigh and slowly turns away from the little girl.
"Brooke, about last night--" He starts.
She cuts him off and dismisses whatever he's about to say. "She ate at eleven and just fell asleep about twenty minutes ago." She picks up her purse from beside the chair and hangs it on her shoulder. "Nathan and Haley are at Jamie's baseball game until three so if you want to call and apologize to them for throwing up in the backseat of their car, I suggest you do that then."
He threw up in the car? "Last night was a blur."
She looks him up and down. "Obviously." She walks by him and into the hallway. Only a couple feet til the front door.
Lucas feels like he's losing something. It hurt so much to lose something the last time that he starts to panic. He follows after her and grabs her arm before she gets to the door. "Brooke, I'm sorry."
She spins on her heal to look at him. "Don't be." She pulls her arm out of his grasp. "You're right. I'm not her mother. But you're her father and she needs you. I know you're hurting." Her hand goes up to her chest, tapping her heart, "I'm hurting, too but that little girl needs you to take care of her. Get your act together, Lucas Scott." It's a warning. She knows it and he can hear it in her voice.
As she leaves, he flops down on the couch.
End Flashback
* * *
Brooke giggles as Lucas flops down on the couch once he finishes his cup of coffee.
She loves seeing him with his daughter. His face lights up like she's never seen before. It's truly beautiful. She wants to stay home and just play with them all day. Just like last weekend, when the four of them played a very rousing, four hour game of hide and go seek. It makes her sad to think that Julian couldn't play with them. He's still in Los Angeles, filming another movie; the third in a row, now. But she's thankful that Grace has her Uncle Lucas and Uncle Nathan to be around for her.
As Penny crawls over onto her father's lap, he scoops her up in one arm and starts tickling her.
Her laughter echoes throughout the house and makes Brooke smile.
Lucas feels a tug on his shirt and looks over at Grace who now has her hands behind her back as she rocks on her heals. "S'cuse me.." she says.
"Yes, Miss Gracie?" He is always amazed at how much Grace resembles her mother. She has the same smile and nose, the same dimples. Brooke is doing an amazing job raising her daughter while Julian is always out of town. Lucas actually kind of likes it that Julian is out of town. He gets to spend more time with Brooke and Grace.
In a very polite voice, Grace asks, "Can I have some?"
Lucas tries not to smile too wide but he steals a glance at Penny. They have the same look on their faces, already knowing exactly what they're going to do.
"Some of what?" Lucas asks.
Before Grace has a chance to reply, he snatches her up off the ground and brings her down on the couch. Both he and Penny start tickling her. She squirms and squeals, laughing so hard that it probably hurts.
Brooke couldn't regret leaving more right now.
"Once the tickling gets involved, I'm out." She starts to walk by them but out of nowhere, Lucas's arm reaches out and catches her around the waist. He brings her down on the couch while the two girls jump on her, little fingers wiggle against her ribs and sides. Lucas can't help but notice how much Brooke's laughter is like her daughters.
He lets the girls attack her for a few moments before he pulls them off, Grace on his right arm and Penny on his left. "Alright, thing one and thing two. The grown up has to get to work." The girls look at each other and giggle as Brooke pulls herself together.
Once she fixes her hair and pulls her skirt back in place, she considers just staying home. No. She needs to go get some sketches done. "I'll be out at three. Millie's coming in early to close. You want me to pick up anything on my way back?" She asks as she walks towards the door.
Lucas shakes his head, "Not anything I can think of offhand. But thanks for offering." He puts Grace down, "Go say goodbye to mommy."
She runs to Brooke and jumps into her arms. Brooke holds her little girl tightly, "Be good for Uncle Lucas. I love you."
"I will. I love you, too, Mama," she declares.
Just like that, Grace runs towards Penny's bedroom. She calls for her friend, who stands now in front of Brooke, to join her.
Brooke opens her arms, "Come on, monkey. Give me a hug."
Penny leans into her hug and squeezes her a little tightly. As soon as they part, Brooke stands up with a smile on her face. "Try not to drive your daddy crazy, okay? It'll cost a lot to get rubber walls for him."
"Okay." She giggles and starts to run after Grace. "Bye, Mommy."
Lucas didn't notice it at first but when he sees Brooke's eyes widen, it sinks in. She just called her mommy. He opens his mouth to say something but Penny corrects herself, "I mean ... Aunt Brooke."
He doesn't know what to say to that. Should he go talk to Penny about it? He looks at Brooke and tries to find words. She looks like she's doing the same. He chuckles instead and walks to the door to open it for her. "Have a good day at work."
Brooke smiles and nods. "Yeah, sure. Right. You, too." Once the door is open, she can think a little clearer. "Bye Luke." She waves before she escapes out of the house.
She's not Penny's mother but she can't help the way her heart leapt when she was called by that name.
Lucas shuts the door and leans against it, as he replays the moment back in his mind. He doesn't know how to feel about it but he can feel his chest tighten as it sinks in.
Please review and let me know what you think. Good, or bad, just don't be cruel. ~Rosie