Author's Note: This chapter is a little longer but I couldn't stop myself. I also like to think that I did something I always wished that Mark would do on OTH. You'll see what I mean. As always, big thanks to my Corey-Bean for taking such good care of me and my story. It means the world to me. I'm having a lot of fun writing this. Thank you to everyone who's left reviews. I really enjoy reading them. They're the reason I keep going like I do!
Please enjoy! This chapter is called "Somewhere In Between." Apparently I'm on a Lifehouse streak so um, thanks Lifehouse, I guess?
EDIT: IDK what's up with the format. I tried fixing it but today just is not my day for the internet. Oy! Please ignore the format.
Brooke Davis taps her pencil against the pad of paper which holds her newest designs. She's had an overflow of ideas lately. She realizes that sitting in her store, letting her imagination take control, has been very cathartic. After feeling frustrated from the message she received earlier, she knew she had to find a way to calm herself. Normally, she would pull her little girl into bed with her to watch Aladdin, but considering she had to get some work done today, this was working beautifully.
She sighs as she puts her tablet on the desk in front of her and leans back in her chair. She stretches her arms way over her head and arches her back until all the muscles are pulled and fall into place as she leans forward.
While her mind should be on her work, she looks at a picture on her desk and it makes her smile. Her fingers stretch out to curl around the corner of the picture frame that had been made just for her. One afternoon while Lucas watched the girls, Grace and Penny had glued elbow macaroni and glitter over a two hundred dollar frame she had owned since she was a little girl.
When they presented it to her, little faces stretched with wide smiles, she realized that her life was much like that picture frame. It had been put together and manufactured to be top of the line, but with her beautiful daughter in the picture, Elmer's glue and some dry pasta made it so much better.
She draws her thumb along the picture and it makes her feel at home. She feels like that's right where she belongs.
"Brooke," Lucas says with a shake of his head, "You're not going to just take the picture."
He chuckles as he rises from the couch and walks over to her. Grace and Penny posed perfectly on the couch like little angels, big smiles creasing their tiny faces. "You see," he continues as he starts to mess with the camera. "There's this new, fancy thing called a timer."
She playfully backhands his chest, "Oh, shut it." She shakes her head slightly, "I look a mess, Luke. Let me just get a picture of you three so I can stare at it all day when I'm supposed to be working."
Grace sits up a little straighter as she swings her legs from where she sits. "Come on, mama! Please?"
How could she possibly say no? She watches as little Grace pouts out her bottom lip and bats big, blue eyes at her. "Oh, no. Not the pout. You know I'm helpless to the pout!"
Once Lucas finishes setting the timer, he curls his fingers around Brooke's slender wrist and escorts her towards the couch. He leans in close to her ear and whispers, "You know, I taught her that pout."
"Yeah, to torment me." Brooke whispers as she lifts Grace from the couch and sits, placing her daughter in her lap. Penny is to her right and snuggles between her and her father.
In the sweetest, most innocent voice, Penny asks, "How long do we have, daddy?"
He slips onto the couch and then scoops up his little girl in his arms. He lets her sit on his knees so he can lean back against the couch. "Thirty seconds," he answers. "Can you smile big for daddy?"
Penny obliges as she reaches for Grace's smaller hand. "You too, Gracie!" Penny squeals. "Smile really big!"
For a moment, it reminds her of a familiar scene with Peyton. The two were only ten years old when they sat on a couch much like this and posed for the camera. 'Smile real big,' Peyton had said as she leaned against a much smaller Brooke.
The smile that widens Brooke's face isn't a sad one anymore. She's happy. She can feel Peyton, still, through her beautiful, blonde daughter. It comforts her.
As she looks up, she hardly notices that Lucas has slipped his arm over her shoulders. The lights on the camera start to flicker. "Alright everyone," Brooke says. "On the count of three. One, Two.."
Lucas joins her and announces, "Three."
The camera flashes.
Brooke lets out a small sigh and puts the picture back down. Things are always so easy when she is with Lucas. They have each other to lean on, and it has meant more to Brooke than anything has before. Her daughter is the most important person in her life. And Lucas is an amazing father. He's strong and sweet and caring and attentive. Though, that doesn't surprise Brooke in the least.
She had always known he would be a great father. Ever since the night, in high school, when he came to her room and assured her that he would always be there for her and the baby he thought she was pregnant with. That was a long time ago. They are very different people now, but in some ways, they're still the same.
She glances at the clock and jumps. How did it get to be three thirty without her realization?
Brooke leaps up from her seat, and after she slips the pad into her desk, she walks out of her office ... leaving the picture in the center of her desk.
* * *
"Alright, girls," Lucas says as he turns from the stove with two small plates in his hands. One has a caricature of Mickey Mouse underneath the sandwich he has placed there; the other has the vibrant tiger, Raja, from his goddaughter's favorite Disney movie. "The famous Scott-family grilled cheese."
He places one, cut diagonally, in front of his fair-haired daughter; the other, which has no crusts and is cut in half, goes in front of Grace. "Eat up!" he exclaims.
"Thanks daddy!" Penny squeals as she reaches for her sandwich and takes a big bite. Yellow cheese hangs from the corners of her mouth as she starts to chew. She has a big grin, and as Lucas holds a napkin out to her, she giggles.
Grace, on the other hand, sits still in her chair, legs swinging as she looks at the sandwich.
Lucas notices, leans his arms on the table, and looks at her. "What's wrong, Gracie?" he asks. "It's cut just how you like it."
She doesn't look up, just continues to swing her little legs for a moment. Then she turns her bright eyes up to him and he recognizes the inquisitive nature rise in them. He's seen this same look on her face many times before. Even when she was an infant, she would often get this flicker behind her eyes as she explored her new toys. Finally, her soft voice pipes up as she innocently asks, "Why doesn't Penny have a Mama?"
He isn't prepared for that question and doesn't say anything for a minute.
Easily, almost too much so, Penny answers for him, "Because my mommy's in heaven." She takes another bite of her sandwich like she isn't bothered by the question.
Lucas has wondered, for a long time, how to explain it to his daughter when she becomes more curious about her mother. He just never expected Grace to be the one to ask him about it.
He looks at his daughter for a moment and notices again that she doesn't seem affected. He's almost confused. He knows how much Peyton meant to him and how strongly her loss has affected him, but sometimes, it's difficult for him to remember that Penny never knew her mother. When he was a young boy, he remembers asking his own mother the same question about his father.
He considers calling her to ask her how she managed to explain that to him when he asked.
Instead, he turns back to Gracie and asks, "What made you ask that?" He needs a second to think.
Gracie shrugs, "We were playing with my barbies and my family had a mommy and a daddy but Penny's didn't have a mama."
That's a good answer, Lucas realizes. She's too smart for her own good.
He lets out a small breath, and while it hasn't gotten much easier thinking about Peyton's death, it doesn't bring him to tears anymore. He's not about to withdraw. A lot has changed over the past couple years. "Well," Lucas begins. He tries to find a way to say it so that a young child would understand. "Penny's mommy got really sick. She went to Heaven so she wouldn't be sick anymore."
The brunette baby considers this for a moment, then questions, "I've been sick before. Does that mean I'll go to Heaven?"
Just the simple thought of that makes his heart ache. He reaches out and tucks her dark hair behind her little, pink ear. "No." He answers with complete conviction in his voice. "You're always going to be safe here with your mommy and with me." He gives her a reassuring smile and it seems to sate her curiosity for now. He then turns to Penny, "You both are." he says.
He chuckles as Penny reaches for the second half of her sandwich, seemingly unaware of the conversation around her. He smiles again and reaches for his cup of coffee. As he sips it, he watches Grace finally turn to eat her grilled cheese. The two girls start to chatter with each other as Lucas leans back against the counter. All he can do is let out a slow breath. He really needs to get his thoughts together on how to answer these questions.
If Grace is asking now, it won't be long before Penny is curious as well, and Lucas has no idea what to say to her.
For now, he pushes those thoughts from his head and just watches the girls.
* * *
Brooke taps her fingers against the counter as she looks at the clock. Millie had called to let her know she would be running late so Brooke had no choice but to get one of the other employees to cover her shift. She's dying to get home to see her little girl. All she wants to do is scoop Grace into her arms and hold her against her chest. Every second away from her beautiful baby is a second too long.
Brooke feels like she was born to be a mother. While she made mistakes growing up, she had learned from them over the years. And this is exactly who she wants to be. She loves taking care of people, and being a mother is all she really needs to be happy. So what if Julian is away filming most of the year? She has her daughter to look at every morning, to tuck into bed every night. She's happy. Content in a way she never thought she could be ... or ever considered she deserved.
Grace had come along and changed everything- from Brooke's heart to the way the stars were arranged in the sky.
Falling into a daydream passes the time seamlessly and when the bell above the shop door goes off, she jumps.
Her eyes fall on a dark haired girl wearing a band tee and a pair of jeans that are ripped at the knees. She smiles at the familiar face and starts to gather her belongings. "Hey! Thanks so much for coming in." As she stuffs things into her purse, she feels a surge of energy pump through her. It won't be long now until she's home. "Millie's running late and--"
A snicker stops her mid-sentence. "Brooke. Chillax."
Sam Walker is a girl that Brooke knows very well. Although she'd once stolen from the store, Brooke trusts her to run it now. She's tall, nineteen, and just as quick tongued as she had been as a young teenager. Sam walks over to the counter and drops her cargo bag onto the counter. "You can repay me with a big, fat bonus. I'm pretty sure saving the boss's day counts for something."
"Trust me," Brooke tells her, "Saving the day definitely pays."
She sits on a chair and props her feet on top of her bag. "It better. I have a paper to write for class tomorrow."
In one swoop, Brooke swats Sam's feet down from the counter like she does every day that she comes in to work. "Wait til the last minute again?" she asks with a perk of her brow.
Sam just laughs, "Teachers only give two weeks for an assignment so they don't have to come up with shit to do in the mean time. Besides," she rifles into her messenger bag and pulls out a three subject notebook. She flips it open somewhere in the middle. "I got started early." She holds the empty page to show Brooke. "I gave it a title and everything."
"Wow," Brooke says with mild sarcasm. "You even wrote your name down."
The younger girl gives a simple shrug as she places the notebook down in front of her. "Yeah, well, I'm an overachiever."
Brooke smiles. She remembers when Sam was just a rebellious, lost little girl. It wasn't that long ago, but time has definitely changed her. She's growing into a beautiful young woman. It brings a glow to her heart to think she had some part, however small, in her growth. She is attending community college and working now. Plus, she just started dating a nice boy named Chris, a classmate of hers. Brooke heard about the whole awkward meeting over spilled soda one afternoon and even teased Sam for blushing.
She feels compelled to comment, "You're doing a really good job. I'm proud of you, Sam, you know that?"
The smile that grows on Sam's face lasts for a second before she hides it behind her notebook. "You should get out of here before I change my mind."
"I'm going," Brooke says. She knows that Sam isn't really into 'squishy, girly' moments, as she usually refers to them.
She starts to walk towards the door when Sam stops her, "Hey B."
Brooke turns easily, one hand on the door.
Sam shrugs and says, "You're doing a pretty kick ass job, too. Give Little G a big hug for me, ok? And why don't you try bringing her by here sometime. I haven't seen her in awhile." Sam started working for Brooke at the store shortly before Grace was born. She helped out while Brooke was on maternity leave and is on her list of babysitters. Though Brooke made a rule about no sneaking out and trashing her store. They had laughed.
"I will." With a small wave and smile, Brooke walks out of the store into the warm afternoon air. Today would be the perfect day for a walk to the park. She smiles as she gets into her car and heads back to Lucas's house.
Who ever said life couldn't be perfect?
* * *
Why are things so far from perfect?
Brooke slams her cell phone down on the table and lets out a frustrated cry. She feels like her heart has been ripped out of her chest, thrown on the ground and danced upon ... in six inch high heels … again. She stares down at the cell phone and her thoughts swirl. It feels like that stupid cell phone is mocking her, laughing at her.
There are hot tears on her flushed cheeks and her eyelids feel heavy.
She knows it's probably hormones, but she doesn't stop herself as she reaches for the phone. Her fingers tighten around it like she's trying to squish it as she places her free hand on the arm of the chair.
She doesn't get up nearly as quickly as she wants to because she has to push an additional twenty pounds, all in her belly, up. Five months pregnant and she already feels like she can't possibly get much bigger. Her hormones run wild most of the day. While she tries to wrangle them most of the time, there are moments when she feels like she has to get everything out or she'll explode.
Today is one of those days.
"Your son of a bitch father--" she mutters under her breath as she sways, not waddles ... she refuses to think of it as waddling, towards the front door. One hand clamps down on the door handle to twist it. As she gives it a hard yank, she lets out an angry yell and throws the cell phone easily outside. She doesn't want to hear from Julian right now. At least with the phone in the front yard, she won't have to.
Lucas Scott watches the flying device land in the yard as he walks up towards the door. He finally gave in to Haley's constant pleas to take Penny for an afternoon. She had insisted he go out and get a breath of the outside world. He had fully planned on spending some time down at the Rivercourt but as he walked through town, his feet lead him unknowingly to this house.
He stares for a moment and almost considers leaving, but one sound catches his attention.
He hears her small sob from inside the house, completely unaware of his presence. Lucas walks up to the open door and carefully peaks his head into the house, on alert in case something else comes flying out. But all he sees is Brooke Davis sitting against the stairs. The image of her with those tears falling over the apple of her cheeks brings a tightness to his chest. "Brooke?"
She knows she should have shut the door but the tears are falling so easily from her eyes, and she hasn't been able to stop them long enough to close it. She looks up to see him and groans as she covers her palms over her slick face. "Oh ... God, don't look at me." She begs, her voice muffled from her trembling hands.
He stands there for a moment, then steps into the house, and closes the door behind him.
When she hears the lock, her heart drops. She doesn't want to ask him to sit with her. She's supposed to be stronger than this. So what if she got into another argument with Julian? So what if the dinner she had planned on making him tonight was a bust because he was staying another week on location? She's supposed to be strong and now that the door is shut, she feels alone.
More tears fall from her eyes now that she thinks she's in privacy.
Her body momentarily tenses when she feels a weight on her shoulders. She drops her hands and turns her head to the side. Through her tears, she makes out Lucas's face. For that moment, her tears stop. Her voice shakes as she whispers, "I thought you left."
Lucas hates seeing her like this. He hates seeing the strong and independent woman he knows crumbling like this. He shakes his head no, and with his arm resting over her shoulders, rubs her arm. "You never left me." He says as a small smile crosses his lips, trying to be reassuring. "Come here." He whispers as he coaxes her closer against his chest.
She hesitates but then slowly leans into him, relaxing against the comforting touch. Why is it such a struggle for her to ask for this? Though, she realizes to herself, she doesn't have to ask Lucas for this. He's just here.
He nuzzles his nose against her hair and can smell apples. She always smells like apples lately. He sometimes teases her about how many she's been eating ever since she began craving them. He holds her against his chest a little tighter when he feels her body shaking from the new tears she's shedding. In the back of his mind, he starts to feel very angry. He knows this is about Julian and for a second, he sees red. He has more than half a mind to go out to Los Angeles or wherever he is and have a serious talk with him; one that involves fists.
"What happened?" he asks when she stops crying. His voice is low, soft enough that no one but they can hear.
Brooke sniffles and suddenly feels very tired. Crying takes so much out of her and now she feels completely depleted. She hesitates over the answers. After everything that Lucas has been through, is it even fair to complain to him about her boyfriend? His wife died. Her problems don't seem to compare. "It's nothing." She answers softly, face against his cotton tee shirt. "Just hormones."
He closes his eyes. He knows this side of Brooke Davis. It's her 'I'm okay. Don't worry about me' face. He knows that she wears it often, too much for his liking. "Don't give me that, Brooke." He curls his hand to the side so he can cup the side of her face, and he directs her to look at him. His blue eyes are deep with worry. "You can pull that with anyone else in the world but not me, okay?"
She just stares for a moment.
She knows her face is puffy and red, and she's sure she looks like a beached whale, but this is the only thing she's wanted for so long. She doesn't have the strength to put up a fight. "It's ... stupid." she warns first, wiping her palms along her face to dry the tears on her cheeks.
"Try me." Lucas says as he crosses his arms over his chest.
Brooke lets out a heavy sigh and averts her gaze to the ground. "I just ... I had a fight with Julian. He's," she flourishes her hand out and looks towards the door, "staying away for another week. And I told him I wanted him to come home because I wanted him to see the ultrasound picture I got today." She sniffles and realizes how stupid all of this sounds. She just shakes her head, but now that it's started, she doesn't stop herself. "He starts going on about how I'm being unsupportive of him following his dream and that I have to be understanding but..." The tears start to well up in her eyes again. "It's our baby! I just want him to be here."
"Hey... Shh..." His urge to talk with fists starts to grow. He wipes under her eyes with his thumbs. "He's the one who's missing out, Brooke. And if you want me to be frank with you, I don't know another person in the world who supports the people who matter to her more than you do."
He shakes his head, "Julian's just being an idiot." There. He said it.
He sees the big smile pop onto her face, and the way she lights up with a giggle. And it's worth it. That's the Brooke Davis he likes to see. "There's that smile," he says as he touches her cheek. Then he asks, "Can I see the ultrasound?"
Her smile only grows. She nods and pushes herself up from the stairs to walk over to her purse. She shifts a few cards and then grasps onto the black and white picture. It is a profile of her baby. Seeing it is a little surreal, and she already has a place in her baby book for this one. Her thumb slips along the outline of her child as she turns.
Lucas rises from his spot and meets her so she doesn't have to wander back. He takes the picture she offers and the second his eyes fall on the outline of the baby's face, he feels his heart skip a beat. He remembers seeing Penny's first real outline. He knows everything Brooke's going through right now, exactly how she feels, and if Julian chooses not to be there, Lucas surely will. "Oh, wow, Brooke..." He looks at the little line of the baby's face and touches his fingertips tenderly to the picture. "That's incredible."
She leans in so she can look at the picture again. She can't quite keep her eyes off of it. She wants to share this moment with Julian, but she doesn't necessarily feel like she's losing anything by sharing it with Lucas. Her eyes turn up to his as she beams while whispering, "It's a girl."
He turns his head to the side so he can look down at her. He sees the big smile on her face now and he knows, as if he didn't know before, that Brooke Davis is going to make an amazing mother. He smiles along with her and then kisses her forehead before he wraps his arm around her again. He eyes the ultrasound again and feels a warmth descend upon him.
It's still awhile before he can see her but he already knows... she's beautiful.
* * *
She's beautiful, even covered in strawberry ice cream.
"Grace," Lucas chuckles, "Grace. Slow down. The ice cream's not going anywhere."
She looks up with wide eyes and shakes her head, "Yeah-huh!" She says very matter-of-factly. "It's melting so I have to finish it!"
He smirks as he sits down at the park table across from her. She's a little ball of fire sometimes and reminds him of Brooke in every way. She always has an answer for everything and constantly talks about what she wants to do. She's driven, even at four years old. Lucas just shakes his head and leans on the wooden table. His eyes scan the playground and fall on Penelope Sawyer Scott, his almost five year old daughter. They had come such a long way since she was born.
He watches her as she bounces in her sneakers beside a woman who's become his best friend. Brooke Davis. He can't take his eyes away from them as she turns from the ice cream truck and hands his daughter a cup of vanilla with rainbow sprinkles, her favorite. She happily grabs the spoon, digs in and shoves her mouth full of it.
When Brooke had gotten home, she suggested a trip to the park, which the girls quickly jumped on. And to be fair, he was easily out voted by the X chromosomes. He watches as the two come back to the table.
Brooke tries to hand Penny a napkin, but she decides to ignore it, quietly and happily munching away at her ice cream.
"It's useless," Lucas says. "I'm always trying to get her to use a napkin but that little munchkin doesn't care for them."
She watches as Grace and Penny share a glance. Whatever they said with their eyes brought giggles from both of them without ever saying a word. Brooke is humbled by them. They are innocent and perfect in their youth. She knows that things won't always be as easy as walks in the park with ice cream, but she hopes that life spares them the heartaches that she and her friends had to endure.
All she wants is to keep her girls safe.
She puts the napkin down by Penny's cup of ice cream and then turns to Lucas. "She's your daughter. I should expect her to get food all over her face."
Lucas gasps, "And what's that supposed to mean?"
"Nothing." Brooke answers, slyly.
She's amused, though, when Grace swallows her bite and adds, "It means Uncle Lucas is a messy eater like the Christmas movie."
He looks up curiously. "The Christmas movie?"
Brooke smirks as she looks on at the two girls. "A Christmas Story." She answers simply. "When the brother won't eat his dinner so the mom--"
"--has him eat like a piggie." Lucas finishes as he replays the scene in his head. He turns to Penny and Grace, who both start to giggle uncontrollably. He makes an animated face at them. "What?" They start to laugh louder. The sound of their amusement is infectious and it makes him chuckle. "Do you think I eat like that?"
The two girls share another laugh, tiny faces crinkled in delight.
Brooke shrugs with a winning smile across her lips. "I think the jury has come to a decision, Luke."
He shakes his head. "That's crazy! I don't eat like that!" He leans over the table to Penny's dish of ice cream. "Do I look like I eat like that?" He asks as he takes a few small, but overanxious, bites. Cold, vanilla ice cream spreads over his lips. "See? I don't eat like a piggie!" This time he dives into the ice cream and starts snorting like in the movie, sending the girls into side splitting laughter.
Brooke's face hurts from her own snickers as she takes one of the napkins from the table and turns to Lucas. "I think Daddy lost his mind." She says, shaking her head in amusement as she turns his chin with her fingertip to face her. "You're such a mess." She tells him as she dabs the napkin along the melting dessert on his face.
She's still smiling as she dries it off of his face. "I think you got ice cream up your nose." She teases, cleaning him off carefully. Once his face is dry, she hesitates for a moment. She suddenly realizes how close they are and the smile starts the fade. She feels her stomach tighten in neat, little knots as she averts her eyes up to meet his.
He doesn't even realize he's staring at her until he catches her eyes, and he's stuck. It feels like everything is swirling around him for a minute. Nothing is clear, but he doesn't have the power to pull himself away.
Lucas slowly moves his hand up to touch Brooke's slender wrist. His fingertips brush the skin and in the back of his head, he sees himself leaning in. He watches as he brushes his lips across hers. He imagines they're just as soft as they had been years ago when they shared their last kiss. His stomach tightens and his pulse races momentarily.
He could do it, he realizes. He could lean in. He could kiss her.
He's sure he's already leaning when the sound of a phone ringing shatters the bubble that had wrapped around the moment. Suddenly he's back in the park with his daughter and god-daughter. He's shaken for a moment. Had he just imagined kissing Brooke Davis? Had he just tried to kiss her? He stares into her eyes and sees the same questions shimmering there.
It's a fight for Brooke to turn away, but she does.
Had she really just pictured herself kissing Lucas Scott? After everything they had been through, how could that thought have come to her head? Her cheeks redden as she crumples the used napkin in her fist and realizes it's her phone that's ringing. "Oh..."
She puts the napkin down and tries to push the image of her kissing Lucas out of her head as she grabs her cell phone from her pocket. It almost takes a second for her eyes to adjust to the ID on her phone. She clears her throat, "It's Victoria. I have to get this." She looks at Grace, then Penny... and finds herself afraid to look at Lucas.
"I'll just be a second." She says as she rises from the bench, thankful for the distraction, and flips her phone open.
What the hell is wrong with her? She wonders.
Lucas shakes his head as she walks away and he wonders what is wrong with him.
Please review! Good or bad, just don't be cruel. Thanks!!