Shinra sighed tiredly as he pulled the warm blanket over the unconscious body. It had taken him hours to get the bullet out of Izaya's head and even longer to make sure he didn't die. It was a miracle that he was even breathing; the bullet hadn't gone directly into the ravens head and had just about rested in the flesh on the side of his head. Izaya was breathing steadily now as he slept off the incredible amount of medication Shinra had given him.

"How is he?" Shizuo asked as be entered the room, he had helped Shinra bring Izaya's half dead body back to his apartment.

"Fine." Shinra said as he moved around the room to gather all his bloody tools.

"Will he live?" Shizuo asked curiously, he moved closer to the unconscious informant and starred down as his sleeping face.

"Do you care or are you just curious?" Shinra asked annoyed at the blonde, he glared at the bodyguard for god knows how long before turning his attention back to his medical tools.

"What was that look for?" Shizuo asked as he looked back at the underground doctor. Shinra didn't answer; he really didn't want to look at the blonde right now.

"Hey, what's your problem?" Shizuo asked angrily, he grabbed the doctor roughly by the arm and spun him around to face him.

"I wasn't the one who hurt him so you don't have to be all angry at me." The ex-bartender said angrily.

"I'm mad because you're here Shizuo, the only reason you were at his apartment in the first place is because you wanted to kill him. Now you're here being all worried about if he's going to live or not? What the hell is that all about?" Shinra rarely ever got angry, but in a state of confusion he really did get pissed off.

"…I'm not worried about him; I just want to see if he'll live. If he doesn't then I'll be fine with that." Shizuo said shrugging like he didn't give a fuck if Izaya died right there and then.

"And that's another reason why I'm mad, you don't even fucking care that he was just trying to commit suicide. I know you hate him and all but you could show a little compassion for him, he has been going through a lot."

"That bastard doesn't deserve any pity from anyone, he's an evil flea and he definitely deserves to die."

"No one deserves to die Shizuo, yes he does bad things but you don't know the whole story behind it. If you knew what I knew about him you wouldn't hate him." Shinra said angrily.

"Oh yea? What else is there to know about him? He's a spoiled brat who tortures anyone he pleases and has a huge apartment that he brags about having to random people on the street. He's also a complete ass-hole who is probably going to burn in hell after he dies." Shizuo grunted in frustration and went back to Izaya's bedside. He would be upset of Izaya died; they had been friend s for so long it would be hard not to care if he died.

"Just leave, you obviously don't care about him…so just fucking leave already." Shinra spat out at the blonde; Shizuo was shocked at this point, he and never seen his friend get so angry before.

"No, you're thinking differently about him and I want to know why you care so much about him? I know he's done some bad things to you and Celty and yet you still care about him?" Shizuo asked curiously as he went to go stand next to the doctor.

"Of course I care about him, we've been friends since we were in kindergarten…and the things he's done to me really weren't that bad and if he was awake right now I'd tell him that I forgive him for everything's he's done over the years."

"Why?"

"Because I know he doesn't mean it, he's just…" There was a long silence between the two before one of them finally spoke up.

"You know something about the flea that you're not telling me, just spit it out already." Shizuo said; he was starting to get annoyed at all this suspense.

"Alright well let's start with Izaya's bragging, he may have a huge apartment Shizuo…but he's still alone in it. Since we were little he's always been a very depressed person; I really didn't understand it because his parents were nice to him and his sisters were nice to him to… for some reason he just started feeling really useless and it got worse as he got older. He would see families and couples on the streets and would get mad because he thought he would never be able to have that. He had dated a few girls and even some guys but all of them were either using him or really just agreed to go out with him because of his looks. The people who hurt him were the first ones he started to torture; he would ruin any relationship they got into until almost half of them killed themselves. Then Izaya became an informant because that's what he always wanted to do; by doing this he was also able to get information on other people fairly easy and that's when he started to torture other people…he wanted to make other people feel as bad as he did." After the speech Shinra had just given Shizuo stayed quiet for god knows how long, not really knowing how to answer…

"So…basically the flea is taking out all his pain on other people?"

"Hm, I guess you could say that."

"But what I still don't understand is why he tried to hurt Kasuka? I know he never did anything to the flea."

"Well…actually Izaya did that out of jealousy towards you." Shinra said a little reluctantly.

"The flea was jealous…of me?" Shizuo asked completely dumbfounded at the idea.

"Yes, he won't admit to it though…Izaya thinks that you're some kind of social outcast like he is and he thinks it's not fair that you have people that love you and he doesn't. He wanted to get rid of the people who love you the most so he first tried to get rid of Kasuka…I think there's another reason why he was so angry you had people to love you…I was thinking that he was mad because he knew you would never love him…and if he couldn't love you then no one could love you."

"Wait a minute…the flea loves me? You must be wrong; we've hated each other since the first day we met." Shizuo said fiercely.

"…Izaya didn't really hate you, he just liked seeing you get angry and use that monstrous strength. That's mostly why he intimidated you all those times and sent those gangs after you." The two were interrupted by a slight whimpering sound; Izaya was trying to open his eyes but the bright light from the ceiling lights were making it difficult.

"Izaya-kun…Izaya can you hear me?" Shinra asked as he shook the informant gently.

"Sh…Shinra?" Izaya said almost to quiet for the underground doctor to hear; Shinra was smiling now as he watched the brunet slowly open his eyes.

"Am I dead?" That was the first question Izaya had asked as he starred up at his smiling friend.

"Nope, luckily Shizuo and I were able to drag you here before you bled to death. Consider it a miracle that you're even talking right now." Shinra said, almost laughing; his laugh was interrupted by a cry of agony from the informant.

"Why the hell did you save my life? I didn't want to be saved, I wanted to die." Izaya cried; he really didn't care if he cried at this point. Warm tears spilled out from the corner of his eyes and ran down his pale cheeks.

"I couldn't just let you die Izaya." Shinra said nervously, he placed a hand on Izaya's forehead and smoothed his hair back from his face; he was trying to get some kind of comforting feeling into the now crying male.

"He just saved your life flea, you could be a little grateful." Shizuo said annoyed; Izaya looked next to the doctor and noticed the familiar blonde starring at him through mocha eyes.

"Why are you here?" Izaya asked; his bottom lip quivered as a now cold tear fell on it.

"I wanted to see if you'd die; unfortunately you didn't so I'll just be leaving." Shizuo said as he got ready to turn around and start going home….but he didn't…he stayed there…starring at the crying male. Izaya arms had flown up over his eyes as he let out pain filled sobs; Shinra was still petting his hair back gently, he had comforted Izaya through crying many times before this.

"Stop crying and be a man flea, it's not that damn sad." Shizuo said annoyed…he was only angry at this point because he started to feel like he might just start crying as well.

"LEAVE ME ALONE!" Izaya screamed at the tops of his lungs, startling the other two males. Izaya was shocking both Shizuo and himself; he had never broken down like this before…and frankly he really didn't care.

"Kill me…please…kill me…" Izaya whimpered; he flinched when he felt someone grab his arms and pull them from over his eyes. Shinra had been pushed out of the way and Shizuo was now sitting on the edge of the bed, trying to make the informant sit up.

"S-stop." Izaya yelped as his voice cracked; Shizuo pulled him close and wrapped his arms gently around him.

"Stop crying Izaya." Shizuo said as he hugged the smaller male tightly; Izaya didn't struggle that long before just letting the blonde hold him.

"Please…I don't want to…I don't want to live anymore…please…"

Author's Note: Don't worry this will get better and less depressing soon! I hope this was good enough and I really hope you liked it! If it's ok could you please review, favorite, and alert! Thank you for reading and I'll see you in the next chapter!