Author's Note: I know this took forever but please forgive me. I've been on and off sick for like, a month now. I tried to update sooner but it just wasn't working for me. The song is "Anywhere but Here" by Safety Suit. LOVE this song. These scenes are a little longer than normal, so there aren't as many, but it's a great lead up towards where i'm taking this story. I can't wait until we get there.

Also, for those who don't know, my friend Angie made a trailer vid for this story. It's incredible! She's such a talented vidder and it truly looks amazing.
You can check it out at the following link (just erase the spaces!)
h t t p : / / w w w . y o u t u b e . c o m / w a t c h ? v = o 6 r H e 9 g q H i I
Check it out and make sure to comment her and tell her how fabulous she is!

I also want to thank everyone who has been patient with me through this long update. Hopefully the next chapter doesn't take as long. Well, enjoy!

Anywhere But Here

When I'm not with you
I know that it's true
I'd rather be anywhere
but here without you

He stands in the door frame, unable to move a finger.

It feels like he's just been punched in the stomach. It's a doubling over pain but he's stuck. He's a statue.

Just a moment ago, he had his hand against the side of her face. His thumb rolls over the apple of her cheek and dries a tear that has escaped from her green eyes. He sees the lines on her face turn down in a way he's seen a few times before. She bites her bottom lip as though she's trying to keep herself from saying something. Or worse, crying. She's such a strong person but one of her flaws is her insistence against letting anyone see her like this. It makes her feel weak, and he knows this because they've talked about it before.

They're so close now, closer than he's been with anyone but that look in her eye is a warning. It's a flashing sign that says she's about to do something she doesn't really want to do. He can feel it, like he's already losing her. "Brooke.." His voice is stuck between a request and a plea.

Her lips part but not a sound escapes them.

Lucas steps in, just a step but it's enough to bring them less than an inch away from each other. His eyes search hers. He has to find something to hold on to. He can feel like if she leaves, he'd lose her.. and that's the last thing that he can handle. It's the last thing he wants. As he starts to lean in, he thinks about the way her lips felt the night they made love. Warm and soft, tender and gentle, loving and full.. all the things that made Brooke Davis exactly who she is.

As he closes the distance, it's not the love-making that sticks out in his mind. It was the moment he woke up and saw her asleep beside him. He felt complete, in ways that he never expected. The moonlight was silk across her sleeping form, and his heart had come to life.

The sound of a Grace's voice came resounding from the hallway and Brooke had jumped so fast that it staggered him. She scoops up her daughter and is gone before he can even blink. "Wait.." He pleas as he steps forward onto the front step, but either she didn't hear him, or she wasn't answering. He watches her move to the car and as she buckles Grace into the backseat, he sees the last person he wanted to see.

Julian.

He sits in the driver's side, staring right back up at Lucas. Smirking.

"He was smirking?"

The voice jogs Lucas out of his memory. He's not back in that moment anymore. He's far from his front porch. A week has passed since he stood there, staring as Julian drove off with two very big pieces of his heart.

For most of that time, Lucas has been replaying it over in his head. Should he have done something more to get her to stay? He had just stood there while she was taken away, and he did nothing. Now he was really feeling like an idiot. After a week of beating himself up about it, Nathan decided to get him out of the house. Early that morning, he and Haley had stormed the house. She took Penny and Brian, while he and Jamie got Lucas out to the Rivercourt.

Lazily bouncing the basketball with his left hand, Nathan perked a brow as he listened to Lucas recount the story for him. "Like, actually smirking?"

Lucas nodded, sitting on the bleachers as he watched his brother and nephew shoot some hoops. "Yeah. Actually smirking at me like.. I got what I want and you didn't."

"What an ass." Jamie muttered under his breath. His eyes went wide though when he realized he said it outloud. He immediately looks over at his dad and chuckles. He nervously offers, "What happens at the Rivercourt, stays at the Rivercourt?" He doesn't want to hear his mom go off again about cursing, so he looks anxiously at his dad for a free pass.

Nathan shakes his head in amusement. "You're lucky Uncle Lucas is so screwed up or you'd be in trouble." He bounces the ball to his eleven year old son, who is incredibly thankful for the reprieve.

"Thanks for being screwed up, Uncle Lucas." He comments as he bounces the ball a few times, runs up to the net and jumps to dunk the ball. His fingers touch the rim before he falls back down to his feet. He smiles good heartedly at his uncle, not actually happy that his favorite-slash-only uncle was unhappy.

Lucas shakes his head, "No problem." Then he leans back against the metal steps and looks up at the sky.

With a pat to his son's shoulder, Nathan walks off the court and sits down beside his older brother. "What my foul mouthed son is trying to say is.." He thinks about it for a second but realizes that Jamie actually had it nailed pretty well. "What an ass." He reiterates.

"Heard that!" Jamie called from the three point line.

Nathan looks over, smirks, and then looks back at Lucas. "But it's not really news that Julian's a jerk. So what really bugs you about this?" He asks.

There was a part of Lucas that really wanted to fight with his brother about this. He wanted to say that it was just because of that smart ass look on Julian's face, but it wasn't. "He doesn't even get it."

"Get what?"

Lucas brushes his fingers over the top of his head and then leans forward. "Grace, and Brooke. He doesn't even see how lucky he is to have them. He takes them for granted every chance he gets. Grace deserves better than him, and so does Brooke."

Over the past couple of years, Nathan has watched his brother in this dance with Brooke Davis. The first time he saw it, Brooke had been six months pregnant with little Grace. He and Haley had the two over for a cookout beside the pool. Brooke had refused to get in a bathing suit with her big belly and spent most of the time on the lawn chair.

While he was flipping burgers and watching Haley and Jamie playing in the pool, he had caught a glimpse of Lucas as he sat down in the chair beside Brooke. Her face was filled with excitement, which mirrored his as he placed his palm against her belly. Nathan had known that look. It was the utter amazement of feeling your child kicking.

He had watched Lucas kiss Brooke's forehead as his thumb gently rubbed her swollen stomach, and Nathan knew there was something there, even then.

"So, you and Brooke, what's the deal?" Nathan asks, though he has a feeling he already knows.

"We haven't spoken in a week. She hasn't returned any of my phone calls." It's a sad, but true fact. Usually they didn't go a day without even seeing each other, and now it has been a week.

"What are you gonna do?"

Lucas just shook his head. It's a good question. "I don't know." What could he do? Brooke was gone now. She was in Los Angeles.. with him.

* * *

Grace sits at a glass table beside a window that overlooks the lights of Los Angeles. The city is bustling with life and energy. Nothing ever looks the same the second time you look at it. It's one of the things that Brooke first noticed about the scenary from Julian's loft apartment. While once upon a time it was something that Brooke enjoyed, having loved living in New York after high school, it just wasn't right. Not now at least.

She watches her daughter and it makes her heart race slightly. Of course logic dictates that those windows are very thick and there's very little chance of her falling out, it's not logic that churns her mommy brain.

Brooke walks over to the monkey play carpet that Lucas and Penny had given Grace for her last birthday, and places a box of crayons on it. "Gracie, come over here and color. Mama has to clean off that table."

Despite her age, Grace is smart enough to know that her mom doesn't like her so close to the window. Even though she has fun looking over the city, she doesn't want to upset her mother, so she slips out of the chair and walks over to the carpet. Laying down on her stomach, feet in the air, she picks up a blue crayon and starts coloring in the kitten on her page. Blue fur, red bow, pink nose. Next page.

As she plays, Brooke picks up a bottle of cleaner and sprays the table, she thinks about the dinner they should be having. Julian had promised they would sit down at the table and eat like a real family. Over the past few days, it's become clear to her. They aren't a real family.

She desperately wants that for her daughter.

Using the paper towels to clean in circles, she feels the anger start up inside her. Even if it didn't work between the two of them, she wants him to be there for Grace. Promising a family dinner and never showing up just wasn't going to cut it. He has been promising them ever since they arrived in Los Angeles. He'd been around for a total of two hours before he was called off to work. At first, Grace had been so sure he would come back but now, she seems so used to him not being around.

It actually hurts Brooke. It makes her think of her own father.

When she was a little girl, she used to wait by the window for her father to come home. He promised he'd be there for birthdays and holidays, vacations and weekends. Every time, she would say, "It's okay. He'll be here next time." But next time never came. And it took a couple years but she eventually stopped waiting by the window.

She could see herself in her daughter, and she really didn't want to make Grace go through everything she had been through.

The phone ringing catches her attention. She leaves the spray on the table and walks over to the phone. She's about to answer it when she sees 'Lucas's Cell' printed across her screen. Her fingers hesitate and ultimately she doesn't answer the phone. It goes to voicemail. He'd called earlier that day, and every day the entire week she's been here. She hasn't answered the call once. Why is it so hard to answer that phone call?

After a moment, she picks up the phone, calls her voicemail to hear her missed message.

"Brooke.. it's me. Again.

I think I'm starting to sound like a real stalker. I just.."

She misses his voice so much. She misses seeing him, spending hours relaxing on the couch with him as they watch their daughters play together. But it's more than that. She misses the way his arm usually curls over her shoulders as he pulls her close, the way his heart beat sounds against his chest when she rests on him. It's everything.

He sighs, "Call me back. Please." Click.

As Brooke stares down at the phone (saving the message without even thinking about it), she's surprised by her daughter's voice. "That was Uncle Lucas again, wasn't it?"

She smiles as she places her phone down on the table and walks over to sit down beside her daughter. Easily, she starts to braid the Grace's dark locks. "When did you get so smart, little girl?"

"I don't know," Grace answers sweetly. "I was just born that way." She exchanges the pink crayon for a purple one and continues to color in the new pictures. She's only distacted for a moment, then remembers the phone call. She doesn't take her eyes off the page as she sighs and admits, "I miss him."

Yeah, me too, Brooke thinks, but she doesn't say that part outloud. Once the hair is braided, she rests it over Grace's shoulder and smiles. Grace and Lucas always had a wonderful relationship. At first it had been because Julian wasn't around. Then it was because he and Brooke had become such close friends, but it had always been more than that. They were like two peas in a pod. "You really love your Uncle Lucas, don't you?"

Without missing a beat, Grace happily announces, "Mmhmm, I'm gonna marry him when I grow up."

It should be her father that she makes those statements about, but what gets Brooke is the voice in the back of her head that says, 'she is.' The sentiment warms her heart and she smiles, "Oh you are, are you?"

Grace finally looks up from her drawing with a beaming smile crossing her face. "Yep. That way you, and me, and Penny and Uncle Lucas can live together and play all the time."

Brooke lets a small smile tug at her lips as she crosses her legs in front of her, leans back against the couch and holds her arms out. "Come here." She watches her daughter as the girl crawls over and then curls up into her lap. Brooke's fingers slowly pull through the soft strands. She kisses the top of her head as she slowly rocks her. Was this a good idea? she wonders. When they are alone, Julian seems so sure that he wants to be a family with them.

What about how you show it? Her own voice pops back into her head from an instance she had with Lucas a very long time ago. How things have changed since then.

"When are we going home, mama?" Grace asks innocently. The truth is that she likes getting to see her father, but she misses her bed and her toys; especially her friends and her Uncle.

For children it's always so simple. They go after what makes them happy, where they enjoy being. It has little to do with the way of the world and everything to do with matters of the heart. You follow it and you don't think about where it may lead you. You know what you want and you chase after it with every fiber of your being.

"Soon, baby." Brooke whispers. Home wasn't Tree Hill. She'd lived away from it before and come back while everyone was out, chasing their dreams. It wasn't the town, or the school. It wasn't her house, or the Rivercourt. Afterall, it was just a basketball court. What made it special were the people who played ball on it. What made it magical were the memories that were made there.

It wasn't about Tree Hill.

It was about sitting in the stands and cheering Jamie on as he played ball for Tree Hill Elementary. It was about racing around with Haley to get the camera when Brian crawled for the first time, trying desperately to document that first moment. It was about cooking hamburgers in the backyard with two people who had become her best friends. And it was about Lucas's laugh when he watches the girls playing. It was his smile when he heard Penny trying to play dinosaurs while Grace wanted to play princess.

Brooke looks down at her daughter who is occupied twisting the charm at the end of her mother's necklace; a necklace that she got from a man that she was desperate to see again. She wants to give Grace a home but maybe that didn't mean following Julian around. Their home was a little less than three thousand miles away from here.

Maybe it's time to take her back to it.

"Real soon."

* * *

"Aunt Haley?" Penny looks up from her construction paper towards the older woman who's seated just feet away from her. It's that time of year again. Her birthday isn't that far off, and like every birthday, she draws a few pictures to leave at her mom's grave.

Haley turns her head as she takes the blue crayon from Brian's fist. He fusses, having wanted to put it in his mouth, but she quickly replaces it with a pacifier. He looks disgruntled and bangs his hands on the table but soon finds himself interested in something else. She runs her hand along the top of his head, "Yes, sweetie?"

The little blonde switches out colors and keeps drawing. "Do you think my mom sees the pictures I make her?"

The question surprises her a little. Haley hasn't been prepared to answer something like that, but she finds the words easily. "Of course she does. Why do you ask?"

She shrugs.

It's been in her head for days.. weeks. Maybe longer. "Well, my mom's in Heaven, right?"

"Right." At first, it had been hard, Haley remembers. She used to cry, wondering how her niece would grow up without a mother. That had changed though. Lucas has done a fantastic job raising his little girl. She was so smart, especially when she asks questions like these. She's just like her father was when he was a little boy.

"Then how can she see the pictures from all the way up there?" Penny's finally finished drawing. Usually she draws her mother a picture of herself and her daddy. This year the picture was a little more elaborate. She's really taken a shine to drawing over the last twelve months.

Haley reaches over and runs her fingers through the little girl's curls. Brian looks up like he's suddenly interested in the movement. He stares at his cousin and giggles without cause. It brings a smile to Haley's face. "Honey, your mom is always watching you. Even when you can't see her, she's there. So I promise you she's seen every picture you've left her."

Content with the answer, Penny just nods and looks down at her picture. She follows the lines and the bright colors with her eyes and smiles at it. This year it isn't just her and her daddy. This year shows her and her best friend playing in the grass. It shows her daddy smiling at them, but it also shows someone very important playing with them. Brooke.

"Aunt Haley?" Penny asks again, her eyes now rise to her smiling Aunt.

Haley turns Brian and sits him on the table, her hands on either side of him. He waves his hands like he's trying to fly and then laughs at himself. She laughs too. Once her head turns to look at Penny again, she grins, "Hmm?"

"Is it okay for me to love Aunt Brooke even though my mom's in Heaven?"

That question stops Haley completely, almost like the breaks were thrown on as she skids to a hault. That hadn't been a question she'd expected either. "Why wouldn't it be okay?" She asks. Something about the tone in Penny's voice, and the picture of her with a brunette, told Haley there was something deeper to this.

Penny however, has to think about it for a minute. She bites on her bottom lip and it's something, Haley notices, that Brooke does when she's working on something new. Haley wonders if she should call Lucas. Maybe he should be the one to address this?

Too late for that.

The blonde looks up, "I know I have a mom, but.. Aunt Brooke reads me stories before bedtime, and she cooks breakfast, and she hugs me." Penny lifts her leg on top of the table and points to a T-Rex bandaid on her knee. "She made my boo-boo all better. See?"

Haley listens and finds herself smiling, "She did, didn't she?" It hasn't just been Lucas raising that little girl, and this prooved it.

Penny nods, "Yep." She puts her leg back down, letting it hang under the table and lets out a small sigh. "You want to know a secret but you can't tell anybody in the world?"

With Penny's lowered voice, Haley leans in and whispers as well, "What is it?"

"For my birthday," She starts as she quickly looks around to make sure no one else is in earshot to hear her secret, even though daddy, Uncle Nathan and Jamie were at the Rivercourt. And Brian isn't going to tell anyone. "I want Aunt Brooke to be my mama."

Haley can't even find the words to say to that. She stares for a moment, before Penny continues. "but I don't want to make my mom sad."

She takes a breath as she looks at Penny. She can't deny that she had a feeling this would happen one day. Brooke and Lucas have been inseparable for years now, and soon it would be the kids that expect it to be like this. She makes mental plans to talk with Lucas later that night. For now, she scoots a little closer and tucks her curls behind her ear, "I think that your mom is going to be happy as long as you're happy."

"Really?" Penny asks, a light brightening inside of her at that.

Haley nods, "Really." Then she leans in and kisses her forehead. "I'll tell you a little secret too. All us mom's really want is to see our kids happy. Safe and protected, of course, but happy."

"I'd be happy if Aunt Brooke was my mama." All she thinks about are all the times that Brooke was the one who was there for her. Of course he father was always around. He rocked her to sleep when she had nightmares, made her laugh when she was scared, played pretend with her when she was bored. He was the best daddy in the world, but she wants want Jamie and Brian have. She wants a family with a real mommy and daddy, and Grace.

Almost matter-of-factly Penny adds, "I think daddy and Gracie would be happy too. And he could be Gracie's daddy!"

It's always so innocent to a child, and right now, there was nothing that made more sense then the four of them becoming a real family.

"Grace has a daddy, sweetheart." Haley reminds her, her smile wavers slightly.

Penny seems to think about this for a minute and then perks up. "She could just switch daddies! Mine's better anyway."

The comment brings Haley into a fit of giggles. How right she was.

* * *

It's almost three in the morning when Julian finally walks in. He has his phone stuck to his ear as he yammers on about set designs and partying actors. Brooke looks up from her spot on the couch as he enters the room, but she says nothing.

Even this early in the morning, and he's still going on about work. She understands what it's like to have to get something done, but this just wasn't going to work out for her and Grace. She crosses on leg over the other, arms over her chest as she looks in his direction, mentally willing him to put the phone down.

Julian knows he's in trouble the second he sees that look on her face. He holds up his index finger at her to signify another minute and wanders into the kitchen.

Brooke is just stunned, and now she really doesn't want to talk to him at all. Who was he to just come home whenever he wanted, without even giving them a call to let them know he was going to be late? She had agreed to come out here because he wanted to spend time with his daughter, at least that's what he said. Right now, she just wants to punch him. Instead she gets up, walks over to the kitchen and snatches his phone from his ear.

He turns with wide eyes and grabs for the phone but she holds it just out of reach. "Brooke. Give me back my phone."

"No." The voice on the other end is saying Julian's name, trying to get his attention, and Julian looks anxious.

"Brooke." His voice is a little more stern now. "Don't act like a four year old. Give me my phone." He almost sounds like he's talking to a child.

That doesn't soften Brooke's mood any. She's not a child, and she detests being spoken to like she is one. This isn't worth it right now. Instead, she pushes the phone into his stomach, maybe a little harder than she needed to. "Keep your voice down. Our child is sleeping." Then she turns. She knows now that she shouldn't have stayed up for this.

Julian catches the phone but watches Brooke as she starts to walk down the hall. He gets that feeling again. If she walks out now, she'll never walk back in. Brooke Davis is a very stubborn woman, and for as much work as she was, he wanted to be with her. At the very least, he didn't want to lose her to Lucas Scott. "Brooke." He hesitates and pulls the phone to his ear but the man on the other end hung up, so he closes it, puts it on the counter and walks after her. "That was a business call, Brooke. You can't just grab my phone because you want attention."

She spins on the heel of her foot, "Because I want attention?" She repeats. Her voice is a hiss, almost spitting venom with each syllable. "I know you did not just say that to me."

"Well then what the hell was that little stunt in there? That was the producer, and now he thinks I hung up on him." Julian motions back towards the kitchen, but he doesn't notice the little girl who peeks her head out from around the corner of the hallway.

Was he serious? "I don't care who was on that phone call. You can't just--"

He cuts her off. "And that's just the problem, isn't it?"

"What are you talking about?" Brooke asks. "This isn't about some stupid phone call!"

Julian's arms go up in the air like he's fed up. "And there it is again!"

"There what is?" She tries with each word to keep her voice down, but she finds it so hard. This isn't the first time that a fight was coming out of nothing. This happens all the time, and quite frankly, she's sick of it. All she wants to do is pack up her little girl and go home.. if it wasn't for Gracie wanting to spend time with her father.

"Did you even hear yourself? You did it twice. You don't care who I'm talking to. You don't care about my work. You never cared about any of it. You thought it was just some stupid phone call." Julian digs into her because this is how it's always been. She's never supported him.

She shakes her head, "I didn't mean it like that."

"But you said it." He insists. "Do you need me to rewind the tape for you?"

"Don't do that." Brooke says as her hands go to her hips. "Don't you antagonize me." She just wants to scream. When did this get so screwed up? There had been a time when she was wildly passionate about Julian Baker. He had been there for her once Peyton died. She'd cried on his shoulders and he held her. He stood by her during the funeral, helped her stand on her own. And now they were reduced to screaming at each other every chance they got.

"You said it." He repeats. He can't pinpoint it but there's something about winning this fight that matters to him.

"Oh my God!" She turns and walks into the living room. Why was he being like this? "Fine. Is that what you want? Yes, I said it. Does that make you happy? My God, this isn't about your phone call. It's about the fact that you came walking in here at three in the morning. Did you even think to call us? Grace was up until midnight waiting for you to come home."

When she mentions Grace, Julian turns, "Don't do that."

"Do what?"

"Don't use her to make me feel guilty!" He spins back to look at her. "You always go back to her. You always use her to make me feel bad for doing something I love! How do you think I feel about that? Like shit, Brooke. That's how I feel. You throw her in my face every damn chance you get! You act like I don't want to be around her!"

"Oh, do I? Well excuse me, I assumed if you wanted to spend time with her, you would--I don't know--actually spend time with her!" Her fingers are shaking but she hides them in fists that plant against her hips. She feels the anger inside her but it's so overwhelming that she knows she's about to cry. She really doesn't want to cry in front of Julian.

He's about ready to explode. It's always a fight with her. "Not all of us own our own business and can afford to sit back and do nothing. I've been working the past couple days, Brooke."

She knows that if she were younger, she would have snapped at him for implying that she doesn't work for her company. But now, the only part of his reply she took away was his work schedule. "And what about the past four years?"

Julian's ripe and ready with a reply but it's not Brooke who stops him. "Will you please stop fighting!?"

Grace's voice is filled with tears, like the ones on her face. It cuts like a knife through Brooke's heart as she turns to see her little girl. She's in her pink, footie pajamas with a purple stuffed monkey beside her. Her fist clamps down on its tail so she can drag it behind her. Usually her thumb's stuck between her lips but now not even that can hide the big pout.

Brooke's hand goes to her chest where she's sure she can feel her heart break. "Grace.."

But she turns and runs into her room. Not sure what she's going to say, Brooke starts after her but bumps into Julian's extended arm. "Let me." He says as he walks around her and heads into the bedroom.

Face down in her pillow, Grace has flopped down on the bed, snuggling her monkey to her chest as tight as possible as the sounds of gasping cries fill the room.

"Grace." Julian walks over to the bed and sits down on the side of it. She doesn't say anything so he tries again. "..Grace." He starts to realize that he doesn't know how to comfort his own daughter. "Grace Elizabeth, you need to look up and talk to me."

She wants to scream. She wants her best friend. "I just want to go home!" She cries, voice muffled from the pillow. "Leave me alone."

He sighs, "Fine. You don't want to talk, fine. You shouldn't be awake this late."

He gets up and when he starts to go to the door, he sees Brooke standing there. For a second, he considers continuing their fight but right now it's the last thing that he wants. He just had it shoved in his face that he really didn't know how to talk to his daughter. He didn't know how to handle her at all. He looks away from Brooke and walks towards the kitchen to grab his keys. He doesn't want to be here right now.

Brooke hears the door open and shut, then lock from the outside, as she crawls into bed with her daughter. She realizes just how much she apologizes to her for fighting. Well, no more. No more fighting. No more any of it.

Grace deserves better.

As her daughter cries herself back to sleep, Brooke runs her fingers through Grace's hair and whispers, "When you wake up, it's going to change. Everything will be better. I'll be better. I promise."

She looks over at her phone and considers picking it up, but a glance at the clock tells her it's too late. "I love you," she whispers to her sweet, sleeping baby. Tomorrow it would all change.

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