Disclaimer: No. I don't own the One Piece. I'll leave that to Luffy. ;)

I'm Not That Girl

Zoro had started to worry when Nami wasn't around after she left that morning, but he got really concerned when she didn't show up for lunch or dinner. Immediately after the incident months ago, Nami would often hide away and miss meals entirely, but she stopped doing that after about a week. The cook shot Zoro a questioning look, and all the green haired man could do in response was shrug.

After dinner, Zoro went to the sick bay and cornered the young doctor. Zoro strode into the room, stood up to his full height and demanded, "Did Nami come to see you yet? She hasn't been feeling well."

By the way Chopper started fiddling his hooves and twitching his body, Zoro knew that the woman had in fact been here and that something must have been wrong. "What happened?" he demanded. "Tell me!" Hopefully, the doctor wouldn't wonder at that strained note in the swordman's voice.

But then Chopper pointed a hoof at Zoro and narrowed his little eyebrows with resolve and spoke in a squeaky, indignant voice. "Hey! Just because you shout doesn't mean I'm going to tell you! There is a special bond between a doctor and a patient and I am not about to throw it away. If you want to know what's happening with Nami you'll have to ask her yourself!"

Zoro was torn between being angry that the doctor wouldn't tell him what happened and feeling respect for the physician who would protect Nami's secrets. In the end Zoro resisted growling and merely stalked out of the office leaving a nervous reindeer behind him.

Throughout the day, he had looked for Nami, but he hadn't seen her anywhere. Finally, he decided she had to be hiding in her room. Reluctantly, Zoro went to the kitchen to seek out the cook. Without a greeting or preamble, Zoro walked up to the cook and said, "You need to ask Robin if Nami is okay. From what I can tell, she's been in her room all day, just like right after...well, you know."

Though Sanji glared at the swordsman, his concern for Nami was enough to make the cook try to get along with that shitty marimo. If Zoro asked the archaeologist where Nami was, it would seem suspicious. Robin was the sort of person to notice unusual behavior patterns in her crewmates. Sanji asking after the navigator wouldn't be seen as strange at all, since the cook often liked to keep tabs on the women of the ship. And Zoro had already talked to one person about Nami today, so asking another would be doubly suspect. While Sanji grabbed two batched of fresh cookies, Zoro went up to take a nap on the deck where he'd be in full earshot of Robin and Sanji's conversation.

"Robin-chwan!" Sanji greeted energetically, "I've made a special batch of cookies for you! They are oatmeal raisin, you're favorite!"

"Ah! Thank you Sanji," Robin said politely accepting her cookies.

Putting on a good show, the cook flitted about with his a dreamy look to his eyes. "I've made some for Nami-swan as well, but I can't find her. Have you seen her Robin-chwan?" Sanji asked with a swooning face.

The slight smile on Robin's lips faltered as she regarded Sanji, "I don't think she'll want the cookies today, Mr. Cook. She wanted to be left alone. Perhaps you can try bringing some to her tomorrow."

Sanji pretended to be shocked. "Is Nami-san not well?"

"She says she's fine, but feeling out of sorts. It's best just to leave her be for now," Robin offered replacing her smile.

"Ah. Robin-chwan is very wise, I will not disrupt Nami-swan today," Sanji said with a little bow and returned to his kitchen. Well at least the men knew where Nami was and that she claimed to be fine.

Even though Nami hadn't been seen all day, Zoro was certain she'd still come to him that night. So he waited. He waited until the night sky gave way to the early gray light of dawn and still the navigator did not come. Putting aside the hurt feeling that stung his chest, Zoro knew he needed to remain strong for when she returned. He'd give her one more day before he went into her room and demanded answers!

As it was, Nami came to him only just before Zoro decided to go break down her door. It was two evenings later, after having stayed in her room the whole time. When she finally appeared in the crow's nest, her eyes were red-rimmed and puffy as if she had been crying for the entire few days straight. Instead of rushing straight toward Zoro and wrapping her arms around him like she had been doing, she crossed the room and sat down heavily on the bench where they usually sat and drew her knees up to her chest. She laid her forehead miserably on her knees completely obscuring her face.

During those days she had done nothing but lay in her bed under the covers repeatedly going over the facts. She wavered between feeling dismal and feeling gobsmacked. Almost nothing made sense anymore. Her world had been turned on its head so many times, she no longer knew which way was up. There was probably some correct way for her to think or feel, but she had no idea what that was. A pregnancy was the last thing she would have wanted at the moment, and yet she reminded herself that it had been happening to women for as long as there were women on the earth. She couldn't have been the only woman to be shocked or upset by the news. The biggest question was what happened next?

When Nami finally made her way despondently across the crow's nest, Zoro also walked to the bench and sat with one knee propped up so he could face her. "What's wrong, Nami?" he asked and then after a moment added, "When you didn't show up for two days I..."

Nami's head shook back and forth and Zoro could barely make out the words, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Zoro. I'm so sorry."

Not entirely certain what he should do, Zoro placed a hand awkwardly on Nami's shoulder. "Don't apologize, Nami. You've done nothing wrong." At this she looked up as if she hoped beyond hope that this was true. "Come on," the swordsman pleaded gently with a great deal more patience than he felt, "tell me what's wrong."

She didn't hide again, but she looked down at the floor so she didn't have to look at his face. Her voice was barely louder than a whisper as she said, "I'm pregnant."

Though her words had been barely audible, the volume of what she said swept through Zoro and he froze hearing the confirmation of his suspicions. Nami was pregnant- pregnant with his child.

Nami sat silently as the words washed over Zoro. She would give him time to think about it; after all she had spent the better part of three days trying to grasp the idea. But soon the reality of the situation had a hold of her. She didn't know how to feel. Part of her was scared- she had never wanted something like this to happen and didn't know how to cope with it. Another part of her was miserable- she had brought this on them by being weak, it didn't only affect her but Zoro as well. And yet another part of her was shocked and amazed- there was life growing inside her!

Most of her logical reasoning said this was bad and unexpected things like this could not bode well; but there was a part of her- a distinctively female part that she did not know she even possessed until a few days ago- wanted to cling to the idea as if it were hope itself. In any case, it was happening so it wouldn't due to spend the next eight months feeling depressed about it. Life, she reasoned, could never be a bad thing; and life shared between she and her closest friend couldn't possibly be bad. She had had to admit now that Zoro was closer to her than any of the others on the crew and she needed and feared his opinion on the matter more than anyone else's. She was almost afraid to let herself feel too much about the pregnancy until she gauged his reaction.

The focus began to come back to Zoro's face and he looked at Nami in wonder. "Are you sure?"

With a nod, Nami said, "Positive. Chopper did a blood test."

The swordsman did his best to remain stoic; it was Nami's decision here that mattered and he would not influence her, no matter what she chose. "Do you think... what are you planning to do?"

Nami's heart began to pound against her chest. Whatever reaction she'd been expecting or hoping for, this was not it! She had just told the man she was carrying his child and he was acting indifferent? This upset her more than finding out she was pregnant! Well if he didn't care, what did she care about his opinion? Suddenly things became very clear for Nami. "Do? What do you mean what am I going to do? It's a child, Zoro! It isn't some stray puppy that followed me home. You can't just ask me what I'm going to do like there was some way to undo it! There is a little being living inside of me and growing. It's a little of me and a little of you mixed up into something new and it's growing inside me! And you are asking me what I am going to do like I could abandon something like that? As if I could give up on something like that! I know... I know we didn't ask for it, and I know we never even thought... but it's there all the same! And if somehow one pure little speck filtered through that terrible night, then who am I to deny its existence?" After taking a pause to catch her breath, she added snappily, "And if you really don't like it, I can do it without you!"

By the end of her speech, her cheeks were flushed pink with her anger. The conviction with which she spoke was astounding. Perhaps she had misunderstood Zoro's disconnect, but it was obvious that in the time she'd taken to think about this she'd become quite passionate about the issue. As she spoke, Zoro stared in awe at the woman. This woman was telling him in no uncertain terms that she was going to bear his child.

Perhaps it was unwise, but he smirked at her. Naturally, this set Nami off further. "I'm sorry is this funny to you? I have been worried sick and frightened out of my mind and you... you are mocking me?"

At this, Zoro started to laugh. He couldn't take it anymore, Zoro reached out and grabbed her and pulled her to his chest and wrapped his arms tightly around her. He had pulled her so quickly and held her so fiercely, that she was completely sitting on his lap. One arm was around her shoulders and the other was holding her head to his chest. This woman had gone through hell, she had exited only to find herself with child and she had decided to bear the child anyhow. His child. She'd even gotten mad at him when she thought he wanted no part of it. Through his laughter he said, "It's good to see you get angry again. It's been a while. Most of the time, you just seem distant."

At his words, Nami eased into his embrace as he held her fast against him. She was confused by his first lack of reaction and then this display of affection. "Does that mean you aren't angry then? Or Indifferent? I thought when you asked..."

It was time for Zoro to make his own feelings known and to speak as honestly as possible. Slackening his hold so she could sit up and scoot off his lap, Zoro looked right into her eyes as he spoke. "I would never force you to bear a child you didn't want simply because it was my seed that found its way through you. That is why I asked. The child inside you now, is mine. That you choose to bear this child just shows how strong you are. If it's okay with you, I'd like to be involved. Like you said: who am I to deny the seed of hope that fate planted in your womb on even so terrible a night?"

Blinking Nami straightened up and reached for his hand. Her heart gave a little flutter at his statement. He wasn't denying the child after all. He was just giving her a choice. Now that her head felt a little clearer, Nami gave a tiny almost disbelieving chuckle. "You are taking this really well." Then she lifted a hand to his forehead. "Are you ill?"

But Zoro simply shrugged and said, "I've been giving it some thought. It's never been my ambition to father children, but men do like to leave their legacies behind. It doesn't displease me. In fact... it could be interesting."

The statement made Nami nod until she replayed the words in her head. "Giving it some thought?" Now, her face softened and she laughed, "In the last few minutes?" When Zoro didn't answer right away, Nami knew something was up. Her eyebrows lowered and she gave him an appraising look. "Zoro, how long have you been thinking about this?"

Trying to be nonchalant, Zoro shrugged and said, "A day or two. Maybe more. Give or take maybe a couple of weeks."

"A couple weeks?" Nami shouted giving Zoro a hard shove in the chest. "And you didn't say anything?"

This time Zoro's eyebrows lowered defensively, "If I asked you a couple weeks ago you would have thought I was crazy! Besides, it was mostly suspicion until you kept throwing up without having that nightmare. Then I was pretty sure. Why else do you think I told you to go see Chopper? Though I thought you of all people would have noticed yourself. Then when you went into hiding, I figured it was something serious. It's been on my mind even more these past couple of days."

In her whirl of emotions, she had forgotten how observant Zoro was. Thinking now, Nami realized it would have been more surprising if he hadn't notice. "So... you knew but you weren't freaked out? Do you want this?"

It was a hard question to answer, so Zoro took a minute to compose his reply. "I wouldn't have asked for it. We're too young and we both have too much left to accomplish. Even when I first suspected a couple weeks ago I would have said no. But now that I know it's happening,.. yes. I want it. I'm not sure what changed, but something seems different now. Maybe I just got used to the idea. And you?" The swordsman turned to look at the woman beside him, the woman who was most definitely carrying his child. "Do you want it?"

Nami had been nodding at his words, so her mouth snapped shut when he asked her to speak. It took her a moment or two to figure out what to say. "I never wanted a baby. Women who want children don't join pirate crews. They aren't trying to map out the whole world. I know a child will get in the way and slow down everything. And yet... I can't break the strange attachment that sprung up so suddenly. I think, knowing it's there, I do want it."

"Come here," Zoro whispered pulling her close and Nami took the opportunity to snuggle into his chest. "We'll make it work."

Somehow, everything seemed clearer now and Nami nodded. "I can't believe you already knew," she snorted in a half-amused tone. "You know I even thought about running away. I thought about leaving a note for you and going where no one would find me."

As he lazily lifted her hair and twisted it slowly around one of his fingers, he said, "I'm glad you didn't. But where do you think you could hide where Sunny wouldn't find you?"

"Weatheria," she stated matter-of-factly. "They would welcome me back anytime, even with a child in tow." The statement made the swordsman chuckle though Nami couldn't think of why. "What's so funny about that?"

His answer was simple. "Now I know where to find you if you ever disappear."

There was no reason for such a declaration to make her blush so furiously, but Nami felt flustered at his simple words. The notion that he would care to find her made her slightly giddy. To divert herself from the strange jumping sensation in her stomach, she quipped, "I'm surprised you didn't already know."

Nami didn't realize just how deeply Zoro was buried in her hair until she felt him smirk against her neck. "Who says I didn't?"

A shiver went down Nami's spine and she knew he felt her reaction because he gave a quiet chuckle. Rather than embarrass herself further, Nami fell silent and let her eyes flutter closed as she composed herself. Try as she might though, she could not get one question out of her mind. Still in his arms, she pushed herself away from his chest slightly so she could look into his face. There was a vulnerable look to her large amber eyes as she asked, "You aren't upset that the child is mine too?" A small ironic laugh fell from her lips, "You aren't upset that the mother of your child isn't strong?"

When she had spent days alone thinking about the pregnancy, she tried to imagine the sort of woman Zoro could want to have a child with. Every time, she imagines some Amazon-type woman who's beauty was only a testament to her strength. She couldn't imagine Zoro wanting to reproduce with a weakling like herself.

One of Zoro's hands found it's way to Nami's cheek and he said, "Never let me hear you say that again. You've proven your strength plenty of times especially since that incident. Even if you are not the best fighter on our crew you are strong and smart as well. I think it lucky for my child to have such a mother." After seeing a weak smile on her face, he added, "I never thought about having a child, but since fate decided to give me one, I am glad you are the mother."

Nami's smile was growing in strength and she tightened her arms around his neck and opened up. "I'm scared Zoro," she whispered too close to his ear causing a quiver to traverse his spine. "I don't know anything about babies or being a mother. I don't know how to reconcile the life of a piracy with a pregnancy and an infant- I won't be able to give up any of it, not now. But I'm excited too! I can feel the thrill of life growing inside of me I feel... I feel..."

And here she trailed off and Zoro looked into her wide eyes and could see the heavy thoughts behind them. "What do you feel?" he asked her, his deep voice soft as he coaxed her answer out.

The woman swallowed before she spoke and this time the smile was gone from her features. Whatever she had been thinking was serious indeed. "After that night I felt dirty and unclean, as if I'd never again feel the same way I did before. But now I feel... Maybe it's stupid, but knowing life is growing inside of me makes me feel as though I'm not as untouchable as I thought. I know that it doesn't erase what happened. But this spark inside me..." she smiled again as her hand came to rest on her abdomen, "It's good Zoro. What's inside me is a good thing. And something that good can't possibly come from something bad. So even though that night is burned in my memory it didn't make me bad or unworthy. This little being is the proof. It's the proof of our bond and proof that we are stronger than him. We'll beat him in the end Zoro, I know it!" As she spoke, her hand had found one of his own and their fingers tangled together of their own accord.

Her eyes were shining and her smile was bright- in fact, Zoro couldn't remember the last time he saw her beam like that. It was definitely before that night. He wouldn't deny the good feeling inside her and he was glad there was something that could make her really smile again. And he could feel a grin growing on his own face. For the first time in a very long while, he was filled with something other than self-reproach

"Nami," he warned with a smirk, "You're beginning to rave like a crazy pregnant woman. Is that all it takes for you women? You find out you've been pregnant and you get to start acting irrationally?" When he said those words, there was a smile on his lips and a tease in his voice and she laughed- really laughed! The sound was better than any music Zoro had ever heard. He tightened his arms around her and stroked her long silky hair.

Giggling still, Nami pushed playfully on his chest, "Shut up, Zoro! You should have heard yourself a few minutes ago!"

This time, it was Zoro who laughed and pressed his lips instinctively to the top of Nami's head in a soft kiss. She immediately stiffened and sat up and Zoro cursed himself for being so free with his affection. He was sure she was going to pull away from him now or reprimand him for his action. Something to let him know she wasn't pleased.

They had been getting along so well too, and he had to go and blow everything with such a stupid action! That was the problem with succumbing to pleasant feelings. When you let your guard down, you did idiotic things!

When Nami sat up looking so serious, he was certain she was going to tell him to back off, but instead she asked, "We're really going to do this, huh?" Her tone clearly showed that she thought it was a crazy idea, but that she actually wanted to do it.

Zoro nodded glad she had skimmed over his faux pas, "We really are."

The small smile was back on her lips as she nervously twirled a strand of orange hair around her finger. "The only thing I can't figure out," she said thoughtfully, "Is how to tell the crew. They will notice eventually when the child gets bigger. We'll have to let them know before that. But I'm afraid they wont understand when we tell them what happened. They might just think we're crazy. Or maybe they'll want me to leave."

Zoro thought for a long moment and while he thought, he lowered his eyebrows in concentration. "We'll they will probably thing we are crazy- I think we are crazy. But I doubt they'll ask you to leave. They can't get anywhere without you."

"Maybe you are right, but we still have to tell them." Nami chewed on her bottom lip nervously. "There is a way... we could tell them... without you know..." Zoro eyed her curiously, and Nami sighed before saying, "We could let them think we are... lovers... that the child was gotten in the usual way."

After thinking for a moment and clearing his throat, Zoro voiced the one problem with the plan, "That means we will have to give them a reason to think we were lovers. If you don't want that, we can just tell them the truth and let them think what they want about me."

Nami thought hard about this. What would it mean to act like lovers? She did feel safer in Zoro's arms than anywhere else right now and she wouldn't mind feeling his reassuring touches during the day. That part she could live with quite happily, but if the crew wanted to see them do things that lovers do... Nami couldn't imagine kissing him- well she hadn't imagined kissing him. Even on that night they had never kissed since such a tender act was not required for the sadistic pleasures of Doflamingo. And after the horrible events of that night, Nami couldn't imagine being intimate with anyone-possibly ever again. Being held by Zoro was all that Nami could handle. Well at least she wouldn't have to worry about other men if people thought they were lovers. Not that anyone on the crew was interested, but rumors of the Straw Hat crew traveled far. New Islands would seem less threatening if people assumed she was attached to someone so strong.

Overall, Nami trusted Zoro wholeheartedly. He was the one person she was now most comfortable with. She was certain that he wouldn't do anything that would make her uneasy. Anyone else and she wouldn't have been able to agree to such a thing, but the swordsman held up his honor to such a standard that she knew she was safe with him. And if being protected from other men as well was a bonus. They weren't lovers; they were two good friends who were about to have a child together. Would it be bad if others thought there was something more between them? Zoro was the person closest to her and the one she was most intimate with even if it wasn't in that way.

As her thoughts drifted toward the future, she realized that one day her child would be old enough to understand the circumstances around it's birth. Wouldn't it be better for it to think it was the child of a happy pair than the product of one terrible night?

Nami took a deep breath and said, "Let them think we're lovers. It will be easiest that way, only..."

But Zoro knew what she was thinking without having to hear it. With an expressive glance down at their rather personal pose he said, "They wouldn't need to see anything more than this to believe it. A few touches here and there will be enough to convince them. We'll let them assume other stuff happens behind closed doors. I won't ask anything of you, Nami. I know it's hard for you, and I will respect that. I have never spent my time chasing women and I've never needed romantic attentions to make me happy. Being a father and being your friend will be enough for me." It was there in his tone that this was a promise for the long term.

With a weak smile, Nami whispered, "Thank you, Zoro." He nodded and rubbed his thumbs reassuringly over her shoulders. After a moment, the woman added, "We should probably start acting like a couple soon. From what I've read, I will start showing soon- especially since I lost weight to begin with. Just little touches right? Enough to make them wonder?" Zoro nodded and Nami paused to think before she said, "We are going to have to tell Sanji the truth since he was there."

Zoro's face fell at the mention of the other man's name. A clear look of repulsion took over his features, and he grumbled in a low voice, "Do we have to? He really isn't going to like it."

"That is exactly why we need to tell him first! Other wise he might let everything slip," Nami reasoned.

Making a loud disapproving noise by sucking his teeth Zoro said, "Fine. I guess we can talk to him in the morning."

"I think," Nami started hesitantly, "I think I better talk to him alone. He's more likely to get angry if you're there."

"You think it's wise to go in there alone with such news?" Zoro had lowered his eyebrow and was acting very protectively.

Her gentle smile was reassuring, "Sanji would never hurt a woman, but I'm sure he wouldn't hesitate to brawl with you. It's better if I talk to him by myself."

Finally, Zoro sighed and let one hand come up to first cup her cheek and then slide down to her chin. "You know best."

Nami took a deep breath and mused, "I'll catch him while he's making breakfast; he's always more relaxed when he's cooking." After a pause she said, "I can't believe you agreed to all this. Are you sure it's what you want?"

Taking a good long moment to look over the woman carrying his child- a child that he'd never even hoped to have- and he felt a surge of protectiveness overwhelm him.. "Yes, I'm sure."

At this, Nami leaned in to hug him again. Tightening his arms around her, he whispered into her hair. "And you, Nami, is this what you want?"

He could feel her nodding against him and then she whispered, "Yes. For the first time since that night, I feel like I'm doing something right." Zoro didn't respond with words, but instead tightened his arms around her.

True to her word, Nami had woken up early to catch Sanji in the kitchen. There was a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach, but overall she had woken up in too good a mood for something like worry. Chopper's trick with the crackers and water really did help her queasy stomach, so she was even feeling better physically that day too.

In many ways, Nami woke up feeling like a new woman. She had spent much of the last few days worrying about Zoro's reaction to her pregnancy and coming to terms with her own feeling on the matter. Now that he had accepted it and in turn accepted her, she was sure about their decision.

As she got dressed she thought about the little body growing inside her own. There was still no visible sign of her pregnancy in her abdomen, but she could feel a tenderness in her breasts that meant they were growing again. Without paying much attention to the clothing she picked, Nami pulled on a skirt and a tank top, not even thinking about the fact that it was the most revealing thing she'd worn in months. Her clothing choice only further accented the fact that today was a better day than yesterday. After checking her reflection once more, she walked from her room to the kitchen.

"Good morning, Sanji!" she called brightly startling the cook.

The look in his eyes betrayed his disbelief at her cheerful tone, but he greeted her in a similarly pleasant manner. "Good morning, Nami-san," Sanji said quietly in the politely restrained manner he had adopted these last months with the woman. "You are up and about early. After the last few days, we were getting worried."

The cook hadn't said who "we" meant, but Nami was certain it was he and Zoro. A small smirk lifted the corners of her lips as she thought about the two men fretting over her. Their worry was probably the only thing that kept them from beating each other senseless.

"Sorry about that," the navigator intoned in the same pleasant tone, "I had a lot to think about." Nami crossed the room and sat on the stool beside the counter so she could watch Sanji scrambling eggs. It only took her a brief moment to decide to just shoot straight with the cook. After supporting her so well these past months, he deserved that much. "Listen, I have something to tell you, and I'm not sure that you are going to like it."

"Oh?" the blond man asked turning to look questioningly at Nami and quirking one long, curly eyebrow.

"There is no easy way to say it, so I'll just say it. I'm pregnant." She had stated it so matter-of-factly that it took Sanji a minute to realize what she had said.

The spatula in his hand clattered to the floor and his jaw slackened incredulously. "What? You're what?" The poor man's eyes had glazed over and he seemed to be somewhere far away at the moment.

"Pregnant. Sanji, the eggs... they'll burn." Nami pointed to the stove, but the cook in his stupor had completely forgotten the eggs.

There was no need to ask if it was Zoro's. "God damn it!" Sanji cursed kicking one of the cabinets beneath the counter causing the pots and pans inside to rattle and crash together. It was yet another pain that he couldn't save Nami from. "And Chopper he can... take care of it?"

It wasn't the first question she expected him to ask, but a valid one nonetheless. "He's attended a pregnancy before. As long as there are no complications, he'll be able to deliver the baby without any assistance. Sanji, really! The eggs!" Rounding the corner to the other side of the counter, Nami grabbed a new spatula and pushed it into the cook's shaking hands.

Sanji was stuttering. "D-deliver? Nami you're not... you're not actually having the thing are you?"

And as Nami bent to retrieve the spatula that had fallen, the term "take care of it" clicked in her mind and she realized what the tall man had really meant. Angrily, she hissed, "Sanji! Don't you dare say one more word like that or I'll... I'll" she waved the dirty spatula menacingly at the cook.

"Put that thing down!" he said removing the utensil from her hand and dumping it in the sink. "Is this what you really want? His kid? After he..."

"I told you, Sanji!" Nami interrupted hotly, "It wasn't his fault any more than it was yours! So just deal with it already. We are moving past it and so should you."

"And he knows about this kid?" Sanji said disbelievingly. "And he's letting you keep it?"

"Stay out of it, Sanji," Nami warned in a dangerous voice that left no room for questions. "It isn't your decision."

Flustered, Sanji took the eggs off the stove only just before they burnt and asked, "So I'm just supposed to sit back and watch you throw away your life for that brute?"

Nami had woken feeling so sure of herself, Sanji's disappointed reaction not only hurt but threatened to confuse her emotions as well. There was no room for doubt in her life right now. She had to straighten the man out. "I'd hardly call it throwing my life away!" Nami said gnashing her teeth together at the annoying cook. "I'm just doing one more thing with it!"

"So, I should say nothing and just let this happen. That's what you are saying?" Sanji practically spat out as he fixed the woman beside him with a searching glare. Even then Nami knew his anger wasn't directed at her but at Zoro and the situation they all faced.

"Yes!" Nami said losing her patience with the man.

"Why should I?" Sanji cried out. "Why shouldn't I go up to that bastard and kick his face in for what he did to you and for what he's going to let you do now?"

Without even really thinking about it, Nami reached out and grabbed the cook's arm. "Because I'm happy," Nami answered sincerely. "For the first time since that night, I'm actually happy." Her amber eyes locked onto Sanji's blue ones and the anger disappeared from both pirate's faces. When Nami spoke again her voice was soft and pleading.

"Sanji you keep acting like I need to get better, as if I were sick or something. I'm not sick I'm just different. I will never be that girl again. I won't just wake up someday and somehow feel miraculously like my old self again. Things happened, things changed. I know everyone has just been waiting for me to be 'the old Nami' again, and I've tried to push myself back to that. But it's just made the difference that much more obvious. Even now you are trying to fit me back into an ideal you have in your head."

With a sigh, Nami went on, "I've been wandering around without a direction trying how to figure out how to be the girl everyone expects me to be. But I can't be that girl anymore. I'm not that girl, but I had no idea who I was after what happened. Now, the uncertainty of my existence has been replaced with direction. I know who I am again! I know who I'm supposed to be. Sure, there are still a lot of things I still have to figure out, but I have help for that part. Stupid as it sounds, the pregnancy might be what I needed. Nothing else so adequately describes the changes that have happened to me. And now, no one will expect me to be that old Nami again. They will understand I've changed. They won't be waiting for me to turn back into someone I left back on that island. It's a new life, a new purpose. And it's exactly what I needed."

Slowly Sanji looked down at the small hand holding onto his forearm and back up into her open face. The spark that had gone missing was back in her amber eyes as they entreated him to understand. There was a hint of a smile on Nami's lips even though her face held a serious expression. The outfit she had selected today framed her figure well and she carried herself proudly in it. Just looking at her he could see the truth of her words. This was not something she would let hinder her. He finally looked at her and saw her as she was now and not in comparison to whom she once was. If anyone could bear this and move forward with a smile, it was their talented navigator. Here eyes shone with conviction in who she was and what she was doing. In that moment, she was the most beautiful woman Sanji had ever seen.

Very cautiously, as if trying to capture a butterfly, Sanji covered her small hand with his own. This time Nami didn't pull away and she didn't even seem to be struggling to bear his touch. The words were difficult for him, but he resigned, "If Nami-san is happy, I will not object."

Then an enchanting smile broke out across her face and she looked as if the taint of darkness had never once reached her. Sanji felt a pang in his chest when he realized the truth behind her comparative happiness. The term 'happy' itself he knew was relative. Was this the happiest day of her life? The cook highly doubted it. No, she wasn't happy in the way most women were when finding they were pregnant after trying for so long to conceive. Nami's happiness came in seeing the tiniest speck of light after lingering in nothing but darkness for so long. It was probably not what most people would consider happy at all, and yet compared to the hell she'd probably been feeling for months this contented feeling seemed nothing short of pure bliss. He could only hope the feeling would last until she could find some actual joy once more.

Still, it was good to see her smile so vivaciously again. People with as bright a coloring as Nami were meant to be radiant. Already he could see her beginning to glow as she took her hand back and spoke excitedly about her pregnancy.

"Don't tell anyone yet, okay? Zoro and I are planning on letting everyone think we are lovers. It's simpler than the truth. And we don't plan on telling them about the pregnancy until I start to show."

"Lovers? Are you sure you can handle that?" The concern was written all over the cook's thin face. No matter how many steps away from him her life was taking her, Sanji would always see it as his duty to protect her.

Nami nodded. "Zoro knows what I am comfortable with and won't do anything that I'm not. Truthfully, we are simply friends having a baby together, but it will be easier for others to accept if they think we are more."

Sanji wasn't sure there was anything "simple" about friends having a baby together, but to Nami it seemed the most obvious thing in the world.

"You trust him this much?" Sanji questioned, "To know when to stop and not push you too far? After that night you can do that?"

Growing quiet, Nami tried to find the right words. "I know you saw the brutal ways our bodies moved then, but from where you were you couldn't see his face or the look of pain there. You have no idea how much he hated himself for what his body was doing! How much it hurt him to do it. It wasn't just my body that was used that night against its will- his was as well. I trust him more than anyone else because Zoro alone knows how I feel. We were both violated and both used as a weapon to hurt a friend. I know you were enraged by what you saw, just make sure your rage is directed toward the right man."

Sanji lowered his head. Her words clearly showed that the darkness had not simply disappeared from her, but was just concealed behind something else now. What was it? Hope? That night had been intolerable on so many levels that Sanji had a hard time forgiving anyone. But Nami had repeatedly told him it wasn't Zoro's fault. Since then she had been getting further away from the cook and closer to that green haired swordsman. No matter how much he tried, Sanji couldn't protect her when she needed him most. It was hard to watch her getting close to the man he'd seen use so much force on her that night, but it was true-he hadn't seen the Zoro's face. For a horrific moment, Sanji imagined what it would have felt if he'd been the one forced into taking Nami. He wouldn't have survived it. With a deep breath of determination, Sanji ruefully said one of the hardest phrases he'd ever managed, "If you trust him, I will try to trust him."

His effort was rewarded by another bright smile from Nami. He really hoped to see more of those in the future. "Thank you, Sanji!" she chimed beaming up at him.

After that, Nami started to set the table while she talked to Sanji about some of her feelings on the pregnancy. There were only a few minutes left until breakfast was ready anyhow. As he listened, Sanji could tell by her voice that she really was happy-or close to it. At least she was as happy as she had ever been since that night. He doubted her previous tormented feelings had gone away, but it seemed that having something new to occupy her mind helped her greatly. Somehow this pregnancy had started a new chapter in her life and sadly for him, he was not the dashing hero that would be staring in her story. At some point Sanji smirked sadly to himself. Nami was too strong a woman to need a Prince Charming anyhow. A tragic hero really was more her style. Hopefully that shitty marimo could live up to the role and with any luck Nami realized what she was getting herself into.

As the crew started filing into the dinning room, Sanji watched as Zoro took the seat beside Nami. The swordsman gave her a small sort of grin and she smiled back at him with that excited expression she'd only found recently. Act like lovers, she had said. From what Sanji saw there was no acting going on. They were simply allowing themselves to be less restrained around the crew. How long would it take the others to notice? Sanji wondered. At the moment only Nico Robin was giving the fake couple a curious glance. The men of the crew seemed only intent on their breakfast. Sanji sighed and sat down trying to work up an appetite.

Acting like lovers came a lot more easily than Nami had anticipated. In fact it was mostly just acting the way that they acted in the crow's nest but more of the time. It actually made the sneaky way they had been behaving before Nami found out about the pregnancy seem like an act. But it was no matter, Nami found herself enjoying the new experience. For some reason, the more she was with Zoro, the less time she had to dwell on her own darkness.

Before they started, Nami had been nervous that touching him in front of the crew would somehow change the closeness that was between them. When they only held each other behind closed doors, it made their bond seem like their secret. Nami had been afraid that exposing their secret would ruin the feeling between them, but in actuality, Nami found the reverse to be true. The more the crew saw them together, the stronger the ties between she and Zoro seemed to get. The less they hid their connection, the more acceptable the association seemed.

The first day, after they put out to sea, Nami was standing on the lawn deck talking to Robin when Zoro passed behind Nami and put his large hand briefly on his shoulder as he went. Nami turned to flash him a bright smile that he replied to with a nod.

They started to sit next to each other at their meals- Nami on the right and Zoro on the left. Much of the meals were spent playfully bantering and chatting. Zoro had tried to steal one of her sushi rolls at lunch and she had playfully swatted at his hand. He easily caught her hand and held it under the table. Nami could feel the blush on her cheeks as she noticed Usopp staring opened mouthed at the exchange.

The second day, Zoro was sitting with Luffy, Usopp and Chopper on the grassy deck of the Thousand Sunny. They were all staring at some cards in front of them. Remembering how Zoro had touched her in passing the day before, Nami walked up behind Zoro and let her hand run through his hair for a moment before giving his head a playful push.

Then at dinner, Zoro playfully bumped her gently with his elbow purposefully though pretending it was an accident. When Nami told him he'd owe her fifty beli for every time he bumped her, the swordsman simply did it again. With a sly grin, Nami let her own elbow knock into his as well. When Zoro raised his eyebrows, Nami knew she was in for it. A long finger jabbed into her side just in the spot where she was most ticklish. If any of the crew had missed the beginning of their exchange, they were certainly looking now after the loud squeak Nami had given at his poke. Looking quite sheepish, both Nami and Zoro returned to their dinners.

The third day after starting their ploy, they had been at sea long enough for the evening breeze to grow quite cool. The sun was just setting as Nami stood on the deck reading the weather as if it were written in the air. A small chill passed over her causing her to shiver. When Zoro noticed this, he took off his own coat and slipped it over her shoulders. The gesture was so sweet that Nami wanted to believe it was genuine and not contrived as part of a plan. As she pulled the jacket tighter around her and inhaled Zoro's manly steel scent, she decided to pretend the act was real anyhow.

Not one Straw Hat missed this small action. As Zoro walked away from Nami bare-chested, Usopp was looking at the swordsman oddly while Chopper looked completely scandalized. A small "Yo ho ho ho," could be heard from Brook accompanied by a soft chuckle from Robin. At the same time the large cyborg pushed up his shades to wink suggestively at Zoro. On the other side of the deck Sanji was gripping the railing so tightly that his knuckles were white as he puffed on his cigarette while looking anywhere but at Nami or Zoro. The only one who seemed confused was Luffy and it was mostly by the crew's reactions.

The Captain scratched his head and whispered loudly to Usopp, "Why is everyone making a big deal about Zoro giving Nami his jacket? Is that important?"

"Shh!" Usopp whispered back to Luffy knowing that Zoro and Nami were two of the scariest members of the crew when provoked. "It's nothing stupid!"

"If it's nothing," Luffy argued back only just remembering to whisper, "Then why is everyone looking at Nami like that?"

"Just hush up Luffy!" Usopp whispered using his hands to mime claming down to the thick captain.

But it was too late. Nami's eyebrow was already twitching and she spun around quickly to the crew and shouted, "If anyone has something to say, they can say it after paying me one-hundred-thousand beli! Otherwise, shut your dirty yaps!"

Zoro chuckled at this while the rest of the crew furiously pretended not to be interested in the fact that Zoro's coat was wrapped around Nami's slender shoulders, except Luffy who was now trying to figure out what sort of a big deal it was to wear someone else's shirt. Deciding he needed to test it out himself, Luffy took off his own red shirt and put it over Usopp's shoulders and then tapped one finger on his own chin trying to discern what difference it made. Luffy was so caught up in thinking about shirts that he didn't notice Usopp's fist until the other boy had slugged him hard.

"THAT'S NOT THE SAME THING DUMBASS!" Usopp shouted throwing Luffy's shirt back at him.

"WELL IF YOU JUST TOLD ME WHAT THE BIG DEAL WAS!" Luffy shouted back.

Luckily, the crewmembers now had Usopp and Luffy to take their mind off Zoro's strange behavior and Nami's receptive reaction to it.

When they finally lowered the anchor for the night, Nami felt Zoro standing behind her. She was still wearing his shirt and had no intention of removing it. "Hey Zoro," Nami said calmly as she looked out over the dark sea, "Give them something to really get them wondering."

So Zoro walked up behind her, gathered the long strands of her orange hair and brought it forward over her right shoulder. Then he wrapped his arms around her waist from behind and held her tightly against him. His face came to rest next to hers. "How's this?" he asked.

"Mmm" Nami mumbled closing her eyes and leaning back against Zoro's shoulder. "I think they'll buy it."

Zoro let his eyes close too and without really thinking about it, one of his hands slipped under the jacket where he began to rub slow circles over her abdomen. Right now, the surface was flat, but in a month or so, it would begin to swell.

The two were so wrapped up in their embrace that they didn't even notice Sanji walk by and kick the kitchen door in. Though this embrace was entirely for the benefit of making their story credible to the crew, both Zoro and Nami forgot to pay attention to whether anyone had even seen them.

Their ruse was successful because less than a week since they started acting, Nami overheard a conversation between Usopp, Luffy and Chopper.

"I'm telling you, Luffy. She is definitely flirting with him!" Usopp insisted.

"Shi shi shi." Luffy laughed. "You don't know anything Usopp! Flirting is when girls tell you they are going to marry you even when you don't want to get married." After a moment of thought he said, "And they pull on your skin like this!" Luffy demonstrated by stretching his cheeks away from his face.

Chopper looked frightened. "Girls really try to pull your skin off when they like you?"

"You bet!" Luffy nodded enthusiastically. "And they even ask you to take off your Family Jewels and give 'em to them! I asked old man Rayleigh about it and he said that's just how girls are!"

Chopper's jaw was hanging open in shock, but Usopp was waving Luffy off disapprovingly. "I think you have been hanging out with the wrong sort of girls," the sniper said strangely. "Anyway, they are definitely flirting!"

Later, while Nami and Zoro were having a private conversation on the aft deck, Sanji was eavesdropping on a much different conversation.

Franky had pushed his glassed up over his forehead and was using a massive thumb to point at Nami and Zoro who now had their head slightly bowed toward each other as they talked. "What's up with Swords Bro' and the Girlie?"

Robin giggled behind her hand as she said, "I'm sure something nefarious is going on. Ms. Navigator hasn't slept in her own bed for weeks now!"

Feeling like he had been slapped, Sanji tried his best not to cry out and blow his cover. Next to the other two, the musician Brook's mouth was hanging agape as he gasped and asked, "Do you think Zoro has seen Nami-san's panties?"

The trio laughed as Franky shouted, "The way they carry on, I'd be surprised if he hasn't been in her panties! Ow! How SSSSUUUUUUUUUUPPPPPPER!"

Robin chuckled while Sanji slunk away wishing he could un-hear that conversation.

While Zoro was working out that evening, the hatch door in the crow's nest opened a good while before he expected it to. "Hmm?" Zoro called looking around. Nami knew what time he'd be working out until and usually she didn't come up until after.

But when Zoro turned around, he was standing face to face with Sanji instead. Immediately, the swordsman's eyebrows lowered and his face hardened as he grumbled, "What do you want?"

Sanji was practically shaking with rage as he said in a rather accusing tone, "'Ms. Navigator hasn't slept in her own bed for weeks!' Care to explain what that means you shitty swordsman? Despite everything, I trusted you because she insisted on it and all this time you were taking advantage of her?"

"It's not like that!" Zoro shouted back wondering if he needed to arm himself against the blond man. "We haven't done anything like that. All I've done is hold her so she can sleep."

"She can sleep perfectly well in her own bed!" Sanji yelled at the swordsman.

"You know damn well she can't! Would you rather I leave her to that terrible nightmare?" Zoro countered.

"I'd rather you left her alone!" Sanji was trying his best to refrain from being physical, but even just looking at that pointed one-eyed face under the mess of green hair set his teeth on edge. And the thought of that man sleeping with his arms wrapped around the beautiful orange haired navigator set Sanji's teeth on edge.

Through his clenched jaw, Zoro shouted, "I can't do that! She came to me for help. She needs me. She is having my child! I will not abandon her like that just to make you feel better!" His face was filled with determination and his broad chest heaved with conviction.

Sanji looked the other man up and down wondering how the hell Nami needed that man. The fact that Nami didn't need Sanji stung him, and made him eye Zoro more suspiciously still. "And you're sure that all you've done is hold her? You have no plans to do anything else?" It was a threat as much as it was a question.

"Of course not! Nami is... she's..." Zoro couldn't put the right words together and found himself verbally stumbling as he spoke. It was all so stupid anyhow. Why should he have to justify himself to the cook? "Eh! You wouldn't even understand. Just go away so I can finish my workout!"

But Sanji was intrigued in spite of himself. He didn't often see the swordsman so hung up. "She's what?" the blond asked in a challenging tone.

Frustrated, Zoro turned his back to Sanji and leaned against a wall with one hand while the other came to rest on the back of his head. "She's an important friend to me, alright? I won't hurt her. I want to protect her if it cost me everything! I won't let her get hurt again like that time. I hated myself for what happened more than you even hated me! But she forgave me. And now..." Zoro didn't like telling the cook so much, but Nami had insisted the only way to get the man off their case was to be honest.

Zoro trailed off again, but Sanji was held too spellbound by the scene to even interrupt. The cook was so used to thinking of the other man as simply a muscle-head, he often forgot the swordsman had legitimate feelings.

After running a thick hand through his short green hair, Zoro finally shouted at the cook.

"You have no idea what it's like to look at a woman and know she carries your child. There has never been anyone in my life so precious to me- so worth protecting. It's terrifying to look at one person and see your future within her, but it's thrilling too. I would never take something from her that she didn't willingly give. That woman is my hope."

Sanji's mouth had fallen open during Zoro's speech so that his cigarette butt fell from his thin lips and landed on the metal carpet with a soft thud. Blinking, Sanji rubbed his forehead with his hand as he pulled himself together. Though Zoro had shown his complex side from time to time, Sanji never expected the other man to have such depth. Even threatening Zoro not to hurt her seemed redundant at this point. Instead, Sanji sighed and said, "Well you better do something about your sleeping arrangements. Nami isn't going to be able to sleep on a metal floor for much longer!"

Zoro turned to look at the cook. The two men stood staring at each other for a long moment before Sanji made to leave. They had already reached their understanding. "She's more than you deserve, you shitty bastard!" the cook called as he went.

"I know," Zoro said calmly to the blond's retreating back. As he picked up his weights and resumed his workout, Zoro wondered whether he should let Nami know that her plan of being honest with Sanji seemed to work. Of course, she'd be impossible to deal with after that!

When Nami came up later to sleep, Zoro did tell her. It was telling that he even found the smug look on her face endearing. As they settled down on the futon, Zoro wrapped an arm protectively around her waist. They were both lying on their left sides and her back was pressed up against Zoro's front. His hand absentmindedly came again to rest on her abdomen above the new budding life within her.

With the feeling of life growing inside her and Zoro's arm securely around her, Nami closed her eyes and let sleep take her. It was always easy to fall asleep here, where the strange tangles of her life seemed to fit seamlessly into place.

Author's note: I wanted to get that one up a day or so ago, but life had other plans for me. But it's up now! I have been floored to the responses for this story! You guys have made me so happy! Up next they will have to tell the crew! I wonder how that will go. Next week will officially begin the holiday madness here as it's the last week kids here are in school and I will be going to cousins' Christmas pageants and plays and parties, and cookie exchanges and then the family stuff starts the following week. Then we also have a mixed-faith house so there is plenty of Chanukkah stuff happening that week as well. So it will be crazy here. Please forgive me if it takes me a few more days than usual. The next one needs to be embellished a bit as well as edited, so I will be working on it amidst the chaos! It won't take too long, but just a fair warning in case.

Who do you think (aside from Sanji) will be most shocked to find out the news?

As always thanks for reading and please review! 3