Title: Jaded Amber 6/9
Pairing(s):Lucius/Remus
Word Count: 32,705
Rating: NC-17
Language: British English
Warning(s):Prostitution, OC Character death, hurt/comfort, dubious-con, switching, . Er... there's a six year age difference between Remus and Lucius (courtesy of HP Lexicon)
**See chapter 1 for full Disclaimer and Author Notes**
Summary: Lucius never would have thought that such an impulsive act of rebellion – spurred by Rabastan, of all people – would change his life so profoundly. Remus never would have thought that accepting one unlikely client would have such a profound effect on his outlook.
***
Jaded Amber 6
It was quiet when Lucius next opened his eyes. Some hours must have passed since he'd been awake, as the night was now fully upon Edinstowe. He moved slightly where he lay and felt a slight twinge of pain. Did Remus feel like this all the time? He gingerly sat up, wincing a little as he moved and swung his legs over the side of the bed. Turning, he realised Remus wasn't even in the room. The whole room was empty and the box with the moving pictures and sound was completely black. The silence, however, instead of being oppressive, was actually peaceful. Getting up, he located his wand on the nightstand and walked slowly out of the room towards the bathroom. He searched the wall for the small cream coloured lever in the wall he'd seen Remus use to turn on the lights.
The small space was exactly how he'd left it and he walked in to stand at the sink. The pale blue tile against the wall did nothing for the decor. He ignored it. Looking at himself in the mirror, he wondered who the man before him was. His hair was in complete disarray and his skin was pale – paler than usual. His eyes were red and felt tender and swollen when he pressed against the redness softly. As he leaned, other parts of him pointed out how tender they were. He frowned in concentration and, reaching down, he awkwardly – and carefully – aimed a healing spell at himself, seeing his face tint pink in the mirror. The spell took effect immediately and Lucius sighed in relief, turning the tap to splash some cold water on his face. Though the sensation was relieving, he did not feel any better than before. He stood straight and walked away from his reflection, switching off the light as he left the bathroom. The bedroom was still empty when he walked inside. Sitting down on the edge of the bed he looked around the room again, listlessly. He wondered where Remus could be, until he noticed the pale light shining through the trees to create a fluid silhouette against the wall.
The moon.
He stood up quickly and cast a warming and cleaning charm on himself. He found the pyjama pants that had been lent to him, hanging out of the bottom of the bed, and pulled them on before making his way downstairs. He hadn't expected to find Remus down there, but was surprised nonetheless when he saw the man sitting at the dining table in the kitchen with a hot cup of something and staring at what looked like an empty phial.
Remus looked up at him just as Lucius returned his gaze from the kitchen window. Though the full moon's glare wasn't shining directly into the kitchen, he could still see the brightness of it from inside. Lucius frowned. It looked like the moon was high. "It's been up for hours."
Remus took note of the disbelief in his voice and smiled a little. He too remembered their last encounter during a full moon. "I won't change," he said quietly, shaking his head, "since I was in here when the moon rose." He sighed, his finger tracing the rim of the cup in front of him. Remus stared down at it, unable and unwilling to meet Lucius' eyes. "Last month," he began. He shifted in his seat, feeling awkward. "Last month my wolf was angry, but, I had no right... I'm sorry." He shook his head. "That probably doesn't mean anything to you, but... he was guilty. I still feel guilty. The Wolfsbane, it keeps me here," he explained pointing to his temple. "But the rest of me is gone and, that night, he just... whined all night." He looked confused. "He hasn't been fighting me lately. I haven't been getting angry. I thought it was this place but, until you turned up this afternoon." His eyes rose to meet Lucius' inquisitive stare. "I think it's you." His stare returned to the empty potion phial in front of him. "I've been waiting, to see how long it would take him to want out. I mean, I'm feeling the pull, but nothing at all like last month."
Lucius took a seat opposite him, obviously interested but trying not to come across that way. He was dying to ask, though. "So, why not just stay inside?" He leaned forward, placing his wand next him as he studied the man in front of him.
James had once asked him that. Remus shook his head deciding not the dwell on the fact Lucius had brought his wand. After what happened, he was surprised Lucius hadn't left completely. "In general, the wolf inside me angers very easily." His gaze rose to the pale moonlight on the window sill. "I am drawn by the moon when it's full. If I just glance at its shine on a wall, it tugs at my baser instincts to run outside." He'd been trying to fight it since the moon rose. His last encounter with the man asleep upstairs had made him pause. Would he leave as soon as he woke up? Would he come looking for him? What the hell would Lucius Malfoy do if he came into contact with an actual werewolf? All those questions had been whirling through Remus' mind as he sat there.
Lucius noticed the way Remus stared. "So if you stay here, you won't turn at all?"
Remus shook his head. "No," he whispered. He blinked rapidly, tearing his gaze away to focus on Lucius. "But it makes my next change even harder." His brow marred. "It's already painful. Besides, I'm drawn by the full moon at a regular change." He chuckled humourlessly. "If I deny my wolf his time in the real world, I'm positively moonstruck by the next cycle."
Lucius bit into his bottom lip, not knowing what to say to that. "Sounds difficult," he settled with.
Remus shrugged. "It's only three days and the worst of the three is the second."
Wide grey eyes stared at him, worried. "You turn for three days?"
Remus seemed alarmed by the prospect. "Merlin, no." He laughed a little desperately. "And thank God for that too. No, before and after the full moon it's waxing and waning." His eyes went to the calendar next to the fridge. When he'd come in earlier his eyes hadn't been able to stray for too long away from that area. "The day before and the day after I get very...on edge." He paused looking bemused. "At least I did. This month he's been... calm. Usually, I snap at people and get angry off the cuff." He could see Lucius' confusion at the muggle expression and tried to try another way to explain. Sirius had once likened his moods to a woman PMSing or something like that. Needless to say Remus had found it a little offensive and snapped at the man in dog form when they'd changed. He didn't think Lucius would get that particular expression either. He didn't even know where Padfoot got it from. Probably a muggle he'd dated. "I have sporadic bursts of anger." That should do it. Lucius had witnessed it after all, firsthand.
Lucius nodded. "You said it's painful?"
"Yes. It's better now that I'm through with puberty, though," He conceded. "It's hard enough to face the changing of ordinary bones, let alone the shift of extraordinary ones. I didn't know if half the changes were usual or not. I got a self help book from the library."
"What about your magic?" He remembered the man's wandless abilities from before, but had been so distracted by everything else that was going on that he'd pushed it aside in the moment.
"It's wilder, yet contained." Remus shook his head as if that didn't make sense. "It's hard to describe. It multiplies, yet it knows its boundaries. Only at the full moon, though." He shook his head again.
"Go on." Remus' head snapped up to stare at Lucius, as if he were crazy. "You need to change, so go ahead." He rolled his eyes when Remus still stared at him. "Go."
The teenager stood, but didn't move anywhere. "But you-"
Lucius shook his head. "I'm not going anywhere." He gestured outside with his head. "Go."
Remus took halting steps towards the door and paused for a second before taking off his jumper and pyjama pants. "Um... I'd rather you didn't see me change. I'm told it's rather gruesome. I don't think you need that after the day you've had." The blond cocked an eyebrow at him. "Please, don't watch. I'll still be me up here." He pointed to his temple again. "So I won't hurt you after." He gave a small smile. "I'm told I'm rather pretty after, actually."
Lucius eyed him. He was very curious now. He clucked his tongue softly as he thought it through. "Fine." He took the jumper Remus handed him.
He'd kept his word, barely. The decibel level of his screaming was phenomenal. It sounded so painful. As soon as Remus had set foot into a beam of moonlight, his whole body had looked like it was put under pressure from something very heavy. He'd fallen to the ground and the slowly closing door had allowed Lucius to see the first few seconds as vertebrae popped in a line down his spine. The door had closed then, cutting him from view. Lucius didn't want to see anymore. It took him a second to realise that Remus wasn't screaming anymore. He'd put on the jumper, feeling cold and not being bothered to cast anymore warming charms. He brushed his hair back off his face with his hand and sat waiting.
Is it over? he thought to himself.
Something scratched at the door lightly. There was a large shadow cast over the window of the kitchen. He knew what it was, but it made his heart jump all the same. It was one thing to know, it was something completely different to see. Still, he was curious. His inner Ravenclaw, as his father often called it. Just like his mother. He swallowed around the lump that thought formed and got up, picking up his wand on the way and walked to the side door. He twisted the knob and pulled it open. He looked up.
Oh. His breath caught in his chest and for a moment, Lucius was struck dumb. Remus was magnificent.
The wolf sat on his haunches, looking wild and seeming feral. No one coming upon them now would dare to come any closer. However, Remus' first impression was waylaid by how he sat silent, patient and watchful. The wolf stared at Lucius knowingly, a comprehension in his eyes absent from normal animals. He was huge and auburn. Even in the night, Lucius could see the lightness of his irises. The amber he knew so well. His tail moved as Lucius took the two steps down from the kitchen doorway to stand outside and look up at him. It swished side to side on the ground sweeping over the grass. The heat that Lucius had felt before, radiating from the man, it was here now too, and the chill of the night disappeared the closer he came to the creature before him. Slowly, his hand rose to touch his pelt. Remus seemed to think he was taking too long and he moved his foreleg forward to meet him.
Lucius gasped at the sudden movement, but buried his hand in the fur all the same. "Soft." He looked up. "I could make a nice coat." He smirked to see if Remus understood, like he said he would. Remus growled a little. "I was joking." He felt a rush of air as Remus huffed. He turned to the forest behind him and back. He let out a breath as if he was sighing and fell to the ground to lie down.
Lucius ran a finger along Remus' pointed ear and saw when he shut his eyes. "You want to run." A puff of air fell over his other hand. Those amber eyes stared up at him. "Do you understand me?" A nod, "How?" the wolf's eyes turned to the house, the kitchen. He remembered the potion. "Wolfsbane, of course." He stopped the addictive stroking and stepped back. "Go on then." Remus sat back on his haunches and cocked his head to the side. "Go." Remus didn't seem to want to move despite his earlier desires. His tongue lolled out of his mouth. "Go on, you want to be free. I know how that feels. Go." Standing up, the wolf feinted left, right and then turned completely and ran, faster than Lucius thought possible, and disappeared into the trees, a loud howl echoing in the night. Lucius watched him go wondering if, perhaps, he should try becoming an Animagus. His arms broke out with goose bumps, despite his commandeered jumper and his renewed warming charm, so he went inside to look for a blanket or something. He'd be outside for a while, he knew, since he didn't feel like sitting indoors, staring at the walls on his own, and couldn't be bothered to recast charms all night.
When he woke up, inexplicably, he was staring at blades of grass and hair. He frowned and turned over, even more confused when all he could see was sky, acres and acres of it. Then it hit him. He'd slept outside. The concept was so new, that those three words were the only things to circle in his mind. Sitting up, he looked around. He was in the same place. The cottage was behind him to his left, the forest to his right further down the hill. Next to him, Remus was sleeping. Naked.
Lucius, still reeling on the fact he'd slept outside, just pulled the blanket he was covering with over the both of them and pulled Remus back towards him. He was still feeling very hot. It was September and the sun was up, though that did little good. But it looked to have been up for a while now. They were lucky it wasn't raining. I'm lying down on grass. The sentence alone was baffling to him.
Remus stirred in front of him and then turned onto his back. He blinked and shielded his eyes from the light and looked down. A confused look was directed at the blanket covering him, until he looked to his left and saw Lucius lying next to him, staring at him. "Still creepy. You really need to rethink your staring policy." His voice was thick and laced with sleep, but Lucius liked the sound. Remus sat up, stretching his back. Lucius stared at the vertebrae as he heard some of them pop, looking away again as he remembered how they moved and popped the night before. Remus turned and looked down. "I don't suppose you'd give me back my jumper?"
Lucius sat up slowly and stared at him. He smirked and shook his head. "Give up this heat? You're mad."
Remus chuckled lowly. "Could I at least get the blanket?" Lucius raised his hands enough for Remus to pull it away.
Lucius watched as Remus pulled the blanket around him. There were small scratches on his skin that had already begun to heal. Was that a frequent occurrence? "How long have you been one?" he asked knowing he didn't have to elaborate.
Remus paused, and then slowly continued covering himself from the chill of the morning. "A while. Since I was nine."
Lucius let out a heavy overwhelmed breath. "Nine? Merlin..." He bent his knees and put his arms around them, leaving his wand in the grass.
Remus turned his head to look at Lucius Malfoy in the wild. The breeze picked up and his hair blew forward over his shoulders. The light strands were long and straight. Remus realised that it had grown a lot since he'd first met him in June. He'd read in history books at Hogwarts library that in most pureblood families, the head of the home portrayed his position with the length of his hair. Lucius was being groomed for that, for the exquisite means he was born into. Remus stared at the rich man sitting in the grass wearing his old aran jumper and a pair of his sweatpants he'd had since he was sixteen. The blond looked rather comfortable where he sat. If a little lost.
Remus sighed. "You have to go home at some point, you know," he said wisely.
Lucius scoffed and then turned his head, his eyes alight with amusement. grey eyes stayed on him for a moment before he answered, "Yeah? Says who?"
Remus laughed and tilted his head. "Lucius, you have a family to take care of and a household to see about." The amusement slowly dwindled and Lucius turned away. "You lost your mum, but your father just lost his wife. That's got to be killing him too, even if he won't show it." He waited.
Lucius stared back eventually. He could see himself, barely there as a glossy reflection in Remus' eyes. A light breeze blew around them disturbing Remus' hair, ruffling it almost like a hand would. It wasn't the most amazing thing he'd seen, but still it captured Lucius' attention. Remus turned away from him to look out over the hillside. He reached down with one hand to scratch absently at his knee, shifting the blanket ever so slightly so that the outside portion of his upper thigh poked out, smooth with a light dusting of hair. It was a brief look at a length of muscle, toned and exercised, but Lucius still felt himself shift and looked away. However, his eyes were drawn back by Remus raising his hand from his knee to tuck a stray, slight curl of deep auburn hair behind his ear. The lock immediately decided that it preferred its former location, though, and resumed its position. He watched this process repeat a few times before Remus gave up on it and just let it fly over his face with a huff. Lucius tried to hide a smile and turned away before Remus could see.
Remus glanced over to see Lucius looking out over the hillside. He seemed amused, but nothing out there looked amusing to Remus. He shrugged, let him smile. Merlin knew there was very little else for the blond to smile about. There was sadness in his heart, Remus could tell, and it wasn't going away for a very long time. He would have to go home soon, return to his life and get married, take over the family name and provide an heir. It would have to be his focus from now on.
Remus looked down to his lap, ignoring the hair that blew over his face to look at his hands. Last night, he'd been seen- no studied in a way no one ever had before, not even by his friends. It had touched a part of him that had remained hidden until then. He wanted that feeling back and for a moment, when Lucius was staring at him before, he'd felt it again. But it wasn't real, and it wasn't forever. For once, it would have been nice to have something like that, to have someone's focus be on him. The thought made him sit up suddenly. He noticed Lucius look over at him, probably wondering what had startled him. He wondered when that had happened. When had they started getting so curious about each other? He smiled and looked away.
Their dynamic had changed somehow, and neither was sure if they wanted to change it back.
tbc...