A/N: Hey everyone who reads this, I'm really grateful that you're checking out my fanfic and I'd love you even more if you review it *winks*. A big thank you to everyone who already reviewed and left such nice comments, thank you! Special thank you goes to Sonia. She's always there if I need help, so thank you ever so much, Sonia! And now enjoy the new chapter :)

Italics = Flashbacks; Normal writing = comments/present

Hey there!
So finally my items are packed to move with me to NYC in three days. Damn, I'll miss Mystic Falls. So much history happened here.. Well, but before I get all melancholy here, I'd better go on with the story and this time I have much time to talk to you. Probably, you are anxious already after I broke off all at once. I'm sorry for that but Caroline "forced" me to go out with her to the movie night on the town square. They showed "The Notebook" and Caroline needed my support to handle with "Noah and Allie's epic love story" to quote her. It's her favorite movie, you have to know and she dreams of meeting a guy who's just like Noah one day. Who can blame her? Probably every girl would want a Noah if one hasn't met his personal one yet.. Change of subject.

So, after the awkward moment on the school floor, I finally gave in to let him explain himself. We sat on a bench near the parking lot and started talking. I was right to do it. Wasn't I? I mean, he had put his back into the whole matter which essentually meant that he did care about me and our friendship. My friends disagreed with me but I didn't let me put off. My conversation with Damon came out other than I had desired, though. But unfortunately, it all made sense somehow.

"I'm sorry, Elena. I never meant to hurt you. I would never want that but everything is upside down at the moment. All because of that one person, you know. I remember like it's yesterday when she weaved a bit drunk over to me. Sounds familiar, doesn't it?" He had asked me mischievously. My heart was beating like a jungle drum and nearly jumped out of my chest.
"Her brown hair. Her doe eyes. Everything she does drives me nuts." He gushed and swallowed before continuing. "Elena, I am sorry but I didn't want to risk our friendship with this. That was my biggest concern and I tried so hard to keep it off. Even so, the feelings always fought their way back in." He said earnestly and deeply inhaled.

The butterlies in my belly started dancing like crazy.
"I fell in love."
A bright smile appeared on my face and I literally grinned from ear to ear.

"With Katherine. I know it's a shock but luckily she feels the same way about me." He smiled. "We met a few times when I wasn't with you and on Tyler's Halloween Party we ultimately got together. I know I should have told you earlier."
My heart had just broken to pieces. I wondered why it wasn't audible for him. My body felt paralyzed by the sudden news. I wasn't able to move only just managed to breathe as calmly as possible.I shouldn't have forced him to go to the party.

"Hey, can you maybe comment once in a while?" He wondered at my complete silence.
"I.. I.."

What was I supposed to say? That I was lucky for him? Conceal the fact that every piece of me was either hurting or lying shattered in front of him? That my world had fallen apart right now or at the end tell him the truth? About her being the wrong choice? About my feelings for him? To choose me instead of her?
"You?" He requested immpatently, interrupting my thoughts.
I promptly got up. "I gotta go."
"Wait, what? No, you can't." His voice flipped over in disapprove. "I just told you that I'm in love and that's all you've got to say?"
"Jenna's waiting. I'll get in touch." I said quickly, struggling to retain my composure.
"You really baffle me." Damon pandered and kissed my cheek. "See you soon, honey."
"Bye." I pressed out before rushing towards the parking lot.

Way too much was racing through my head.
"We're good again?" He suspicously warbled after.
"Mhm" I mumbled back so he was put to rest. Tears trickeled down my cheeks. I was tired of playing the broken-hearted girl and afraid of how many times I still had to bear it. The influence he had on me was way too unhealthy. It felt like he had just taken away the air I needed to breathe. How was I supposed to go on breathing with no air?

I wiped away the last tears and calmed down, Jenna couldn't see me like this.

When I got in the car, she casually asked about my day.

"Can we just go home, please?" I begged her gloomy.
My body was still transfixed with pain and on our way home, I didn't make a sound. Emotionless my eyes stared outside the window. This time somehow felt different. Numbness had taken over me. Technically I had lost him a moment ago. To Katherine, why her of all people?

Oh believe me guys, I'd love to rant about her at this point but she's not worth it. Also, I accepted the terms of use to keep my blog a peaceful place as is right and proper. Sadly.

"Meal is already prepared." Jenna proclaimed loudly, walking inside our house.

"Not hungry." I stamped upstairs in my room.

"But you need to eat something, honey."
"Don't call me honey!" I screamed churned up.

Only he gets to call me like this.

"And like I said, I'm not hungry."

My door slammed shut behind me. Gazing in abstarction I lay in bed. Everything felt minor, somehow cold. Maybe it was nothing serious between them? Just a brief flirtation. I couldn't imagine Damon to be in a serious and long-lasting relationship anway. He still enjoyed flirting with girls way too much to settle down with only one girl.

Tired of everything I fell asleep but awoke by my fitful sleep in the middle of the night. I grabbed my mobile to check what time it was.

It showed 2.30am and 3 messages of Damon.

Exhausted, I dropped back in bed. Some people write the names of the ones they love on their skin. Well, I didn't need to do that, not with him, because I had his heart written all over my heart. I'd always carry him with me but I was fed up of playing the broken-hearted girl. I couldn't lose him, though. Hence, I had to try to push my feelings away and lock them away.

Between Damon and me everything somewhat sorted out again as much as circumstances allowed. Although Kat and Damon didn't make it easy for me with holding hands 24/7 and bill and coo in front of me.

6 months later

"I'm bored."

"Oh what news, Care. When are you ever not bored?" I laughed.
"Tzzz. Well, if we would do something instead of just sitting here like couch potatoes, then you wouldn't have to listen to my whining." Caroline got cheeky.

"What about a night walk?" Bonnie suggested.
Caroline's mood skyrocketed. "Yeah, why not."

"Um-"
"Nothing um. We're going on a night walk. Period."
I rolled my eyes. "And where to?"
"We'll decide spontaneously."

Enthusiastically Bonnie and Caroline jumped off the sofa and slipped in their jackets. I dawdled over it to delay.

"Don't fall asleep in there." Caroline mocked.

"Not gonna happen." I went outside and the tour started.

We ran criss-cross through Mystic Falls without course and after all fetched up somewhere that looked quite like Damon's house.

"See, there's light! So he's home."
"Probably the slut is also there." Caroline spat out bitterly.
"Nah, I don't think so. It's not going well between them lately." I uttered mildly.

"Was about damn time. We had to endure the spectacle for half a year already. What does he see in her? She's just toying with him."

The music from his room blasted out loudly. I could only too well imagine what he was doing in there. Most likely, lying in bed, gazing into space and mulling over his situation. Kat and him were heading towards a crisis for quite some time which was recognizable in his mood. Permanently he was moody and had nothing to desire. He claimed that everything was fine with him but I knew better. "She is replaceable. She has nothing others have not." He had said yesterday. The entire time he had pushed it to the back of his mind but inside him it looked completely different. He felt broken and hurt, one could see it in his eyes. They usually gleamed like the blue ocean, downright beamed with joy of living, recently however they seemed rather dull and cold. Thinking of his pain hurt me, too. It wasn't only his pain, it had also become mine.
"Come on, girls. Let's bring him out of his shell." sing-sang Caroline, picked up a small stone from the ground and threw it against his window.

"What the hell are you doing?" I asked upset.
"I make him aware of us. What are you thinking?" Caroline replied like it's the most logic thing and threw another stone.

"Stop it!" I grabbed her arm and drew her off. "We've seen enough. I want home."

"No, we won't leave now. We haven't come here for nothing."
I arched my eyebrows. "You planned all this?"
Both acted innocent and shyly replied. "Um.. no?"
Angrily I stamped my foot. "You're impossible!"

"Oh come on, Elena. We're sorry, okay? But don't pretend like you didn't want to come here." They explained themselves, pouting, each grabbing one of my hands.

With judgy eyes I glared at them.

They grimaced and stared at me with puppy eyes. The corners of my mouth went up and heartily I hugged them both.
"Now it's my turn." I chuckled.
After a while and millions of thrown stones, we gave up.

"His music is simply too loud."
"Dumbass."
"Never mind, his loss not ours."
Hooking arms we marched thereof.

"Yes! She's a scheming bitch."
"Don't talk so bad about her. At least not behind her back, you don't want to sink on her level and why do we have to talk about her at all?" I declared annoyed.
"Because she's always with us, trying to ruin our lives. Also, why are you protecting her, Elena? She's a high class bitch towards you and clearly didn't care about your feelings while getting together with Damon."
"I know , Caroline! You don't have to remind me of it!" It escaped me loaded with anger. I paused to calm myself down again. "I'm sorry, Care. My emotions got the better of me."

This happened always when it was about Kat.

"She might be a bitch but she's what Damon wants, what makes him happy. So I'm accepting it." I continued more calmly now.
Bonnie and Caroline shook their heads. "You can't put his happiness before yours. You have to live your own life."
"I know you think I'm pathetic."
Bonnie gave me a compassionate glance. "We don't think that, Elena. But perhaps it's just time to let go?"
I felt the tears well up in my eyes. "I want to! Believe me, I want to but I just can't."

My heart won't let me.

Caroline's mom was already impatiently waiting in her car before our house to take the girls home.

"Bye, sweeties. Thanks for the lovely evening. It was fun, though." I thanked them with a genuine smile.
We all hugged and as they drove off, I waved them goodbye.

"Phew, what a night." I whispered, leaning on the closed front door.

Suddenly the door bell rang.

"Have you forgotten someth-"
"Matter of opinion." Damon muttered as he barged in.
"What's up? Have you once looked at the clock?" I asked troubled.

"You weren't at my house tonight, were you?"

"Um, no. I've spent the evening with Caroline and Bonnie at home." I made excuses in an unconfident voice.

"Maybe I've gone crazy after all." He replied thoughtful.

"No, you have not." I said reassuring. "I think you're just overtired and need some sleep."

"Alright." He nodded and walked up the stairs, aiming at my room.

"Damon! Whatcha doing?" I confused cat-called at him.

"Get some sleep. Like you said." His voice echoed from upstairs.
Sighing, I followed him upstairs and found him lying across my bed.
"You didn't give me instructions where to sleep." He smirked.
"You know, maybe I was wrong and you are crazy."
"Still you let me inside your house."

His hands grabbed my Teddy which was unfortunately sitting on my bed and fooled around with it.

Slightly edgy I wrenched it from him. "You aren't expecting to get my permission to sleep in my bed, are you?"
"No, actually I allow you to sleep next to me in this comfortable bed. That's a privilege. All your girlfriends will envy you." He said in a cocky voice.
"You're an idiot. Now get out."

I pulled on the blanket he was lying on.

"Ok, I get it but if you don't get out, at least move a bit." I grumbled.
He shoved himself aside and splashed with his hand on the empty place beside him.

"Come here."
Slowly I slipped into bed, right next to him and immediately after I had turned off the light, he snuggled up to me and we were lying close to each other.

"You smell good." He whispered in my ear, wrapping strands of my hair and smelling on it.

"Cannot say that about you." I teased him, grinning broadly.

"Watch out, little girl."

I giggled. "What are you thinking right now?"

"That you need to sleep." Damon answered in a low voice, stroking my hair.

"The truth, Damon."

He sighed heavy-hearted and rolled on his back. "That I'm a lost cause who is forcing himself on his best friend."

Perplexed, I sat up. "You're not. Why would you think such thing?"

"Katherine might have mentioned something."

"Oh.."

"We broke up today."

I gently cupped his face in my hand. "Listen, Damon. You're so much more than Katherine has ever seen in you. She doesn't deserve you. You're no lost cause."

With both of his hands he carefully pulled me on his chest and held me tight. "You're too good to me."

A good while we just lay there, not saying a word.

Attentively I listened to his heart beat and breathing with closed eyes. This way it could have remained forever.

"I don't deserve you." He started.

"Right, you don't."

I felt his chest rise because of a slight laughter.

"By the way, I was lying earlier."

"About what? Hopefully not about me being crazy or a lost cause. I wouldn't survive it."

"Haha no, it was about tonight." I painted pattern with my forefinger on his arm. "Actually, I were at your place." I confessed sincerely.

"You just can't stay away from me."

"You're so conceited." Playfully, I hit him.

"Ouch."

"Sorry, but you needed it."

"Well, you should tell me more often what I need and what not. Keeps me from being in mischief." He appreciated.

"We're a good match."

"Yes, we are." He yawned. "You're a really good friend." He mumbled before falling asleep.

"You, too." I replied smitten, one tear rolling down my cheek.

The next morning

The warm rays of sunshine tingled my face and awoke me. I still felt his strong arms wrapped around me, so I turned around and minced my eyes all over him till my hands reached out for his face to touch it.

"You're still here. It wasn't just a dream." I said amazed.

My thumb carressed his face and made it's way to his lips and brushed over them. He looked so tempting and unaware of anything.

One thought crossed my mind and rankled me. Would he be asleep enough to not notice if I kissed him?

Things can only get better, I persuaded myself.

I rode up, so that my face was on the same level with his. Carefully, anxious not to wake him, I lightly placed my lips on his cheek.

"Damon?" I whispered softly, curiously awating his reaction but nothing happened.

I approached his mouth with my lips. Inches before it, I paused for a moment to let my eyes linger all over his face for one last time. Then I pressed my lips on his, sensing their tenderness, completely drowning in the moment. For how long I had wished for this moment to come true, to be able to kiss him, to touch him this way.

Suddenly he started moving.

Scared and feeling insecure about what to do, I whiped away from him.

"Katherine?" Damon buzzed half asleep.

"Oh, hey Elena." He said slowly after opening his eyes.

"Morning." I answered, having my face turned away to hide it from him. I couldn't let him see see how pain-filled it was right now by the words he had just said.

"What are we gonna do today?" His voice rejoiced.

"Don't know. Jenna needs me." I mumbled, getting out of bed and walking into the bathroom, locking the door behind me.

So it seemed like he didn't know that I had kissed him. Well, that was actually a good thing but something he must have felt. He had reacted to it, just not the way I had hoped but it was all my fault. It was my idea to kiss him and now I got the consequence. He was still too caught up on Katherine.

"Hm. Can't you place that on hold? We could hang out like in the good old times. Especially now that Kat.. Well, what do you say?"

I curled up on the floor, leaning against the wall.

"I don't think that's possible." I said choked, wiping away the single tears that streamed down my face.

"Oh, too bad." Disappointment sounded in his voice. "Well, maybe I can ask her if she gives you a day off. She won't be able to say no to me." He suggested.

Fast I unlocked the door and sniffling came out. "No, no. It's fine."

He stood right in front of me and questioningly glanced at me. "Elena, what's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Doesn't look like nothing?"

"It's just my allergy. Yeah, my allergy. I.. it makes my eyes water and a runny nose. That's all."

I prayed that it was till too early for his brain to work porperly or that he somehow believed in my lie.

Skeptical and researching, his sight was directed at me. "Since when do you have this mysterious allergy?"

"Only since last week. We've accidentally come across it." It escaped my mouth like a shot.

"And against what are you allergic to?"

This was rock-bottom.

Okay, Elena. Think about it. It has to be something reliable.

"Against.. against.. house dust mites." I stammered.

He started pating my head. "She passed away far too soon."

"Shut up! I won't die because of this." I pushed his hand off me. "You know, you could make yourself useful as well instead of talking big."

We striked off downstairs.

"I'll make breakfast, Jenna."

"Much appreciated." She answered, sneaking out of her bedroom.

"Oh and what have we got here? Boy visit at the crack of dawn?"

"Good morning, Mrs Sommers. I swear I behaved myself." Damon smirked at her.

I dag in his side.

"Good morning, Damon. Yeah, I advise you that." She clearly was amused about all this. "You can have breakfast with us if you want to." Jenna offered pleased about his presence.

"Thank you so much but I think I've already asked enough of Elena. I'll help her preparing it but that's all." With a handkiss he said goodbye to Jenna who afterwards disappeared into the bathroom.

After arriving in the kitchen, he continued our already commenced conversation. "I know you've been lying."

"Excuse me?"

"I don't buy the allergy thingy. You cried, didn't you?" He obstinately rebored.

"Why should I?" I asked, facing him my back.

"You tell me." His voice came nearer with him standing now exact behind me.

The tension increased because I realized he was only inches away.

I turned around to look him in the face and found it hard to pull myself together.

"Damon, I have so many things to do. Please just go home, will you?"

He lowered his head and his blue eyes pierced into mine. He stroked my face. "Fine, if that's what you want. Have a nice day, honey. I'm always there for you."

Then he vanished outside our door.

I'm so sorry guys, but I have to cut you off here, I'd want to tell you more but something weird is happening here in my place and I have to go into the matter. I'll try to continue as soon as possible by no later than sometime next week. I promise. Take care everyone and have a nice week. Love, Elena.

"What the heck?" Elena cursed. Confused she looked around to find the source of the knocking she had heard. She walked over to her window where it apparently came from and squinted outside.

"Damon?" She quickly opened it. "Damon? What are you doing here? It's pouring with rain."

"I don't care."

Compassion emerged inside her and reflected on her face. "What do you want?"

The last month had been a bloody hell. Actually since she knew him she had been torturing herself because of him. Of course, it wasn't directly his fault but it was senseless. She couldn't waste more time on him, she had tried, fought and gave her all already. Elena couldn't carrry on much longer like this. Clean and final cut was needed.

"Bringing back old memories and appeal to your better nature."

I looked askant at him.

"I still remember that night you were throwing stones on my window. This time it's the other way around. Ironic, isn't it?"

"It's not ironic, Damon. It's rather foolish."

"No, it's not. I'm dead serious here." He insisted energetic.

After everything between them, he couldn't lose her. Just the thought of it was unbearable. She was the only constant thing in his life that secured him.

"Stay with me, please." He pleaded, the rain drumming down on him.

Please leave a review. Thanks in advance.

Btw, I haven't forgotten that it's supposed to be funny like I stated in the description but I needed to add some drama.

Next chappie will be funnier, I think and *little spoiler* we'll finally meet Stefan.. Stick around ;)