A/N: I'm so so sorry this chapter took me so long but life kept me busy and also I had some problems with how to connect the present with the past in this chapter but somehow I still managed it, hopefully in a good way. And I wanted to let you know that I'm writing this fanfiction because of two reasons. Reason tone are you, the readers. I'm thankful for each one of you who reads my fanfiction, really. And reason two is myself, DE give me so many feelings and thoughts that writing is a kind of way to let it all out for. Especially after the current events in Season 3, duh DE is so on. Season 3 will be an amazing one for DE. Once again, I'm so sorry but I hope the chapter will make up for the long hiatus.

Info/Spoiler: In this chapter there'll be no blog entry but don't worry, there'll still be flashbacks. Different than you're used to though, also we'll get to see some Elena/Caroline friendship interaction and Stefan will make his entry *dun dun dun* Enjoy!

Chapter 6

If you don't love me so

Why won't you let me go

I'm running out of time

Forever will I cry

If you don't want me near

Why won't you disappear

I'm hanging on to life

"Damon... Please don't make this so hard for me. I'll leave and nothing will stop me. I've had enough of being the rebound girl for you. Me leaving is the best for both of us." She explained, the pain his words caused clearly showing in her voice.
"You are wrong." He replied bitterly. "You won't get away with this so easily, Elena Gilbert because I know what I want." His voice broke off. "It's you." The anger, sorrow and all the other feelings that had built up the last time she had seen him when he had hurt her the last time, boiled up in her.
"How come? Give me one good reason to stay."
He threw his hands up in despair. "Because I've been an idiot. A late bloomer."
Elena shook her head, trying to scarf the tears down. "Not good enough."
"Because I need you and you need me."
Elena lowered her head, thinking about his words and she had to admit that he was right. Whenever she needed him, he was there for her, giving her security and always was honest with her, no matter what. Of course, it didn't feel good to hear it but she needed it. She didn't need someone who sugercoated her actions. It had made her realize where her strenghts and weaknesses resided in her. He had made her stronger. He used to be her rock to hold onto in hard times and she used to be his. Still, he had broke her heart too many times. Used her, although he had assured her that he never had bad intentions or had done anything deliberately which she believed him but enough was enough. Her heart screamed "screw it" and she felt the urge to listen to that feeling that was about to take over her again but this time she wouldn't let it. This time she'd be a smart girl and listen to her head instead.

"Not good enough, Damon. That's not good enough!" She yelled, loaded for bear.
"Then tell me what you want to hear? What can I do?" He asked more determining, emphasizing every word. "What do you want?"
His eyes were darkened as if his grief and longing covered the piercing blue in dense fog and kept them from shining like they used to. "Do you want me to disappear, to disappear out of your entire life? To give you up?"

He shook his head in disbelief.
Her eyes were watery, staring at him. Her lips trembled, trying to find the right words.
"To give me up you would have to had me first of all."

The words cut deeper than expected, not only in him but also in her because she knew she was lieing, her heart knew it. "And now leave, Damon. Please. I don't want to see you anymore." I can't expect my heart to put up with even more, she thought to herself. "Besides you'll get yourself sick out there."
For seconds he stood there, completely paralysed and gazing into space.
"You know.. I don't care. That feeling will vanish but not the feeling your departure will cause." He lifted his head to look her directly in the eyes. Regret, fear and ache reflected in them and made her heart squeeze in her chest.
"Damon..."
"Oh I know. Believe me, I get it." He swallowed. "Good night, Elena."
Another tear trickled down her face.
"Good night, Damon."
He gave her a last glumly smirk and walked off with a lowered head.
A little bit she stayed by her window, considering the falling rain before it completely infiltrated into her and threw her off track.
With her arms clutched around her torso she sat down on her bad, uncontrollable waves of sobbing hitting her body. What the hell had just happened? Had he really, after all this time, said those things he had never said out loud. That he wanted and needed her. She couldn't believe it as much as she tried, it felt so surreal but the shaking of her body told her this was reality. Not knowing how to help herself otherwise, she dialed her best friend's number. Caroline had told me that she'd go to see Tyler because they kind of had a thing for each other. Loud music and a lot of laughter sounded on the other phone. Obviously the happy couple had made a slight detour to the Grill.

"Hey ho, who goes there?" Caroline mocked in a tipsy voice.

"Care.." Elena started but got interrupted by a sob she couldn't suppress.
She felt Caroline tense up as her voice immediately became more serious and worried. "Elena? Hey. What's wrong?"
"Uh, um.. nothing. I.. I just-"
"Want me to come over or shall I pick you up?"
"Coming over would be nice." Elena stammered.
"Alright. Hold on, sweetie. I'll be right there."
Caroline hung up and Elena let her torso drop into bed. Boundless questions buzzed through her head. Why had she allowed him to speak or allowed herself to even listen to one word coming out of his mouth? Heck, why had she even opened the window? What was he trying to achieve? But the question that most gnawed on her was, why on earth now? All these years she'd been right in front of him and obviously showing her affection towards him but that didn't make him see anything more in her than just a friend. His best friend. She had known exactly what she wanted to do before he had showed up. Her plan was to leave all the bad memories that Mystic Falls contained behind her. To start a new life and her career as a journalist like she always had wanted. She had seen it right before her very eyes but now everything looked blurred. She was supposed to be fully happy again, not hurting every day because of the thought of not being with him still living in the same place and crossing his path. God, damn you Damon Salvatore! She drove her hands through her hair. The hurt, anger and desperation inside of her seemed to merge into one and to come back to surface. The words he had said still buzzed in her head and haunted her. He had said he was a bloomer. Well, what if it was true. Put the case that he had said nothing but the truth and that his feelings had changed towards me. What if- Her thoughts got interrupted as suddenly the door of their house swung open and heels tinkled.

"Elena? Sweetie? Are you upstairs?" Caroline screamed urgently.
Elena wiped over her eyes in a feelbe attempt to make her look less of a bawling wreck, not even knowing why she bothered because Caroline would clearly see she'd been crying.
"I'm in my room, Care. I'm here." I wish I weren't though.
With fast steps upstairs Caroline nearly stormed in Elena's room but abruptly stopped at the painful sight of her best friend. Elena sat up to look at her friend with ashamed yet watery eyes and puckering one corner of her mouth as if she wanted to apologize for the state she came upon.

"I swear, who do I have to kill?" Caroline said, her voice in pain and rage at the same time and rushed over to Elena to take her tightly in her arms.
As she felt the warmth and support Caroline gave her, the dams broke open again.
"I'm so sorry for ruining your evening."
"Oh hun, don't worry." She said reassuringly and stroked over Elena's back, trying to soothe her. "Believe me, you're much more important."
Elena clung her arms more tightly around Caroline and sobbed.

"Wanna tell me what happened?"
"What happened? He showed up and screwed up everything! Everything!" Elena's breathing was pretty shaky and Caroline felt scared her friend might carry it too far.

"Okay sweetie, calm down first. Please, you have to calm down."
But Elena didn't listen, instead she continued blubbering out and was close to hyperventilating. "I hate him! His everything! Why does he even exist?"
Caroline loosened of Elena's embrace and grasped her by her shoulders.

"Elena. Hey, look at me. Elena! You have to calm down, do you understand?" Caroline said softly, emphasizing every word.
Grudgingly Elena faced Caroline's glance and nodded. Elena closed her eyes and deeply inhaled a few times. Her breathing and heart beat went back to normal and as she felt physically fine again, she told Caroline about her stirring meeting to the smallest detail.
"I hope for his own sake that he's already dug his own grave."
Elena gave her a significant glance.
"What? I'm serious. I won't let him make you go to rack and ruin." Caroline said pretty pissed off. That was her natural reaction to whatever concerning Damon. She used to get along with him just fine. Here and there some misunderstandings happened between them but nothing huge, till the day things between him and Elena had become rocky. Although it had never been his intention and he had reaffirmed it many times, Caroline just couldn't get over the fact of him hurting Elena. And so she chose a side. Elena's side.
"I'm not that in need of him."
"Oh no?" She questioned in an undertone of a fit of pique.
"Whoa, wait." Elena used her arms to express her bewilderment. "What is that supposed to mean now?"
"Nothing. It just slipped out." Caroline bit her bottom lip, shocked about her own cheekiness.

"Caroline. I'm waiting."
Caroline threw her arms up. "For what? You know what I think about him, so you probably already know what I was going to say."
"That I know, but I didn't know you think I'm like dependent on him or something." Sight disappointment and hurt sounded in Elena's voice.
"I didn't say that."
"Well, indirectly you did."
"Okay." Caroline sighed in surrender and darted an excusing glance at her friend. "That might have possibly crossed my mind. Sometime. In the past."
"You mean sometime in the past as in about a minute ago?"

"Oh come on, Elena. You know me, right? You know I always talk before thinking and that I talk a lot which doesn't mean that I know what I'm talking about and can't we just forget about it, please?"
"No, we can't Caroline. You started and now you're gonna finish." Elena wasn't in the mood to back down, another time she might have ignored it to avoid a fight but she felt still too upset.
"Well, I was just thinking you spent so much time on him. Wasted time. He made you go through so much pain and heartache, still you always let him back in your life and-"
"I let him in? Are you trying to say I wanted it this way?" Elena threw angrily in. Caroline couldn't be serious about this.
"You didn't let me finish, Elena. I'd never say you wanted it this way. I'd rather say you were too afraid to let go of him. Because somehow you prefered to feel happy just for a moment, well aware that pain will most likely follow afterwards over not having him in your life and in some twisted way he did make you happier than anyone else ever could. Even if just temporarily."
Elena was left flabbergasted and puzzled. She let Caroline's word sink in and thought about it. The gears in her mind started to rattle like crazy now, trying to find out whether there was some truth about Caroline's statement. To be honest, she had never considered it from this side. But who would want that? Had she really been that blind let alone naive? She shook her head, not believing she could have been so stupid.

"But what would this say about me? That I'm a masochist?"
"No, no, no sweetie." Caroline grabbed hold of Elena's hands. "It wouldnt't. It says your human. And head over heels in love."
Elena lowered her head and whispered faintly. "Was. I was, not anymore."

"Sure. Keep trying to tell yourself that." Caroline mumbled more to herself. "But there are more important problems to solve at the moment, so let's change this." Her voice warbled with renewed enthusiasm.
Elena raised her eyebrow in confusion. "For example?"
"How to save your day."
Elena shook her head. How could she think that was still possible.
"Care, that ship has sailed long time ago."

"Come on, rise and shine! You won't let him ruin your last days in Mystic Falls, will you? Well, I won't let him, so your argument is invalid anyway." She said cheerfully and jumped off the bed and encouraged Elena to do the same.
"No." She refused. "At least not before you tell me what you're up to."
"Having fun."
"Ah ah ah. What's the catch?" Elena backpedaled.
"Elena, friends of Caroline Forbes sometimes do have to live a little and enjoy life and that's exactly what we're gonna do. Pull yourself up, put on something fancy and have a good time with me."
Elena began to object but Caroline simply cut her off. "We're low in time before your departure either way and I don't allow him to corrupt the left time. Therefore I won't accept a no. Screw your doubts and even more importantly screw him. If not for youself, then do it for me."
Caroline put on her best puppy eyes look and hoped her bill would work.
Elena sighed deeply. "Fine."

She had nothing left to lose anyway.
As keen as mustard Caroline clapped her hands. "That's the spirit."
_

At the grill

Hey, babe." Tyler sing-sang and plant a kiss on Caroline's lips as we sat down next to him at the bar counter.
"Hey, adonis." She said, all smiling as they parted.
Immediately Elena ordered a liquor shot for herself. Oh gosh, had I really agreed to this? I must have had a devil in me. Watching them flirt with each other while I was stuck in an emotional chaos. Well, cheers to that, she thought and downed her drink with one gulp and ordered the next one right away. Tyler surveyed her with a skeptical look but didn't ask any questions after Caroline had punched him in his side.
Another few drinks later Elena found herself at the table where Matt and his friends sat, where she eventually got up to nonsense with them.
"You're such pussies, I swear. I can drink you all under the table." Elena blared out, the alcohol already working his magic on her.
"Don't talk too big, Gilbert" One of the boys mocked her.
"You bet!" She retortet encouraged.
"Elena? I think it's time to go. Come on. Tyler's already waiting outside." Caroline asked her exhaustedly.
"Nah, don't play fun police, Care. It's only just begun."
"You had enough fun in my opinion. Now, will you please come home with me?"
"Thanks but no, Caroline. Me and my boys are having way too much fun." With that said Elena and they all raised their glasses and gulped it down.
"I'll take care of her. I promise."
"What do you say, and why would I trust you of all people?" She answered snappishly.
"I wouldn't let anything happen to her, you know that."
"If you only had observed once before."
"Caroline.."
"Ugh, you know what? Fine. Whatever. I mean, she's won't listen to me now anyway and although you're a giant ass who still have to kill like at least once." She pointed her finger on his chest. "I trust you with her. Do not make me regret it."
"I won't."

One hour later

"Guuuuys? Why y'all leavin? Don't." Elena whined.
"You need to sleep, Elena." Matt's voice sounded in welfare.
"I'm fu-fully fit." She objected and jumped up to prove her conviction but fluctuated pretty much till one firm arm gave her support and guided her out of the Grill.
"Maaaatt! Lemme go. I wanna- I'm not- not a wee- tir-tr-tired.."

"Let's get you out of here, boozehound. Apparently, some things never change."

She mumbled something barely audible before everything went black and she drifted into dreamland.
_

"Good morning class."
"Good morning, Mr Tanner."
"I am very pleased to announce to you that we have a new student to welcome in our class. He's new in town, so I expect all of you to be extra nice and obliging. Like you usually behave either way." Mr Tanner let the class know and waved as a sign to enter towards the door frame where obviously someone was standing.
A whispering went trough the class, full of curiosity about the newbie as a brown-haired boy, wearing sunglasses and with his hands buried in his trouser pockets walked in.
"This is Stefan Salvatore."
The pupils nodded and continued whispering.
Caroline leaned over to me. "Damn. He's hot."
I shook my head. Of course, that's the first thing Caroline could think of when seeing a boy.
"By the way, why is his name Salvatore as in Damon's last name? Are they related or something?"
"Not that I know of." Although I'd like to know that myself.
"Is there a free seat anywhere? Ah there, right next to-"
"He can sit here! Right next to me, Mr Tanner." Caroline shouted cheerfully and pointed to her left.
"But that's m-m-my seat?" Dana complained.
Caroline faced her with a cocky glance. "Well, now it's Stefan's or do you have a problem with it? I mean, you heard that we shall be nice and obliging, didn't you? So you surely don't mind making room for him, do you?"
"Care, don't play mean girl." Elena reminded her.
"I'm just trying to be cooperative that's all." She justified herself.
Snorting Dana grabbed her utensils and moved to the free seat two rows forward.
Mr Tanner only rolled his eyes and turned back to Stefan. "Please take a seat, Stefan."
Nodding, he walked towards the free seat next to Caroline and sat down. Almost swooning she sat there, attentively considering him.
Nearly exactly like that the whole day went by. Caroline swooning over Stefan and dreaming about his oh-so-perfect everything. After the school bell had rung, she linked arms with me.
"He's marvellous. His face. His eyes."
"Caroline, he wore glasses. You couldn't even see his eyes."
"Whatever, I'm qute sure he has beautiful eyes and the glasses were great, too."
"Lord have mercy on me." I whispered and earned a hit for it from her.
We approached the parking lot where nearby Damon leaned on a tree.

"Hey." I greeted him.
"Hey, there."
"What's up?"
"Not much and with you?" He returned, seeming vacantly.
"You don't accidentally have a lost brother?" It bubbbled out of Caroline's mouth.
"Um, no? Why do you ask, Barbie? Want a piece of me?" He asked mischievously.
"Sorry to disappoint you but no. I was just wondering because another Salvatore is now walking around these school halls. Hopefully one who's not so full of himself." She muttered annoyed.
"Damn, I thought it was only a bad joke." He cursed. "I can't stand that kid."
"So you know him?" Caroline and me questioned at one go.
"I'm afraid so.. he's my cousin." He dropped the bombshell.
"Oh."
I didn't quite know how to respond. Stefan seemed to be a nice guy and his good looks didn't hurt either. Everyone in that family seemed to be a handsomeness.
"So one for me and one for you, huh?" Caroline said teasingly and blinked at me.
I'd loved to slap her face but instead hinted with my head at Damon and narrowed my eyes to glare at her in horror. He's standing right next to us!, I tried to tell her telepathically.
"Why can't you stand him?" I rebored, mainly to quickly divert and also because I knew Damon wasn't always one easy to endure but family was important to him.
"He's just spoiled and know-all. Also he's always been the goodie two shoes. The pride of the family. Unlike me, the black sheep." He laughed dryly.
Caroline twisted her face in disbelief. "He didn't seem like that. Like at all."
"For how long do you know him, Barbie? Five seconds?"
"Don't be that harsh, Damon. I can only agree with Caroline. He's made a nice impression, actually." Elena spoke up, supporting her friend.
"The operative word is actually, Elena."
The schoolyard bell rang.

"Have fun with slowcoach!" Damon's voice warbled after us as we walked back towards classroom.

A month later

"Hello, Elena."
As a reflex to hear her name she turned around but freezed.

"Stefan." She stammered awkwardly. "What's up?"
"Nothing." He smiled brightly. "Just wanna talk to you."
I couldn't help but feel really awkward. Since he had got here, he had constantly started talking to me and made flirty, little comments in our conversations. I wasn't the type of girl who could just like that tell him that he had zero chances. It wasn't so easy to say something like that in my opinion. I didn't want to hurt him although I had given him lots of hints that I wasn't into him. Sadly, he didn't understand and still made me feel uncomfortable around him.

"So, what about Friday night?" He asked, flirtingly.

"What about?" I played dumb and prayed for the school bell to finally ring, so I could grab my bag and - flee. For better or worse he didn't give me another choice.
"I'd love to take you out for dinner."
"You're asking me for a date?"
Why didn't he understand I wasn't interested? Wasn't I being clear enough? Did I really have to lay it on the line for him?
"If you like."
"Okay, look Stefan. I'm afraid you got this all wrong. I don't return whatever feelings beside friendship you might have for me." I pressed out, not able to look at him. I hated doing this. "Because there's someone else."
He let out a dry laugh. "And who should that be? Damon? I know you two are just friends."
Damon had been right. He really believed he was know-all. "Has it ever crossed your mind that you in fact don't know everything? Maybe there is more than friendship between him and me? Maybe you should take off your rose-colored glasses to see things clearly." Without waiting for an answer, I turned around and quickly walked away, nearly run.
Oh wow, I had just pulled a real Pinocchio.

"And?" Damon bounced into me after school. "Survived?"
"Either more or less.." I sighed heavily. The lie I had told Stefan still beared me down.
Damon's face twisted in confusion, knowing there was something cooking. "What happened?"
"Caroline was talking non-stop all day." I distracted although I was still speaking kind of the truth.
He laughed, clearly amused and reliefed. "As if that's anything new."
"Yeah, but it was all about Stefan. This has been going since he's arrived here."
"Let her talk. She'll find out soon enough that it's not all roses."
"But I fear she'll get carried away and get hurt in the end." I added worried. He was too focused on me to even pay any attention towards Caroline.
Damon stiffened, his attitude became more serious. "Why? Is he raising her hopes?"
Although he'd never admit it, he considered Caroline as a very good friend of his. He'd never let anyone he knew hurt her and get away with it. He was too protective of his friends, the few ones he had.
"Not really but she's still full of hope."
"Well, I don't get why you make such a fuss. She's pretty, he might go for her and if not she'll find a new one." He shrugged indifferently, trying to cover his worry. "Caroline is not one who gets too caught up on one anyway."
"Hopefully.." I sighed depressed. He was right. It wouldn't be the end of the world for Caroline, she'd find another guy in no time, also had she a healthier survival instict compared to mine to let such stupid thing happen to her.

"But actually that's not the problem."
Damon raised his eyebrow in confusion. "Then what is?"

"It's Stefan."
"Didn't we just talk discuss this?"
"Yes and no." I hesitated. "It's not about Caroline and Stefan. It's difficult and ugh, just so wrong."
Damon's eyes still focused on me, trying to make sense of me. I knew this look of him, when the rarity of frowns showed up on his forehead which meant that his mind was eagerly and driven from curiosity working on a possible declaration by himself.
"Okay." I took a deep breath and decided to eventually release him from his suffering. "He is hitting on me."
"Yeah, sure." He laughed briefly before reality hit him. "Wait, what?" He retorted, to all appearances dismayed about it.
"Why so shocked? Is it so unthinkable that a guy could possibly hit on me?"
"Not at all. You're smoking hot but he's a douche." He answered straight.
I felt the blood filling my cheeks and making me blush at his flattering words.

"Damon Salvatore complimenting me?" I grinned.
He smirked mischievously back at me. "That's something to be proud of."
Yes, it was, I thought, savored the moment and let the happiness flow through my body for a last time before returning to the unpleasing topic.
"Well, about Stefan. Is he bothering you? Making sexual innuendos, grabbing your ass or something?"

"Damon!" I cried out indignant.
"What? That's what I understand under hitting on somebody." He justified himself light-hearted.
"Well, luckily he's not you." Not in the mood to continue the conversation with his current attitude, I turned my attention to my mobile that had started vibrating, telling me I had got a message.
Alarmed by the sudden stop of unease on my face he checked. "What's wrong?"
"Stefan is wrong. He keeps texting me and simply won't stop, no matter how hard I try to make him understand. He's so stubborn."

"Runs in the family."
"Could you stay serious for a bit, please? You know you're not being helpful, right?" I hissed at him.
His amused appearance instantly disappeared. "Sorry."
I deeply exhaled. "It's okay. It's me who's sorry. I shouldn't have snapped at you" I softened my tone. "But he's just plundering my latest nerves."

"Don't worry, I can take it."

I nodded in appreciation.

"He's everywhere I walk, you know. Caroline probably makes out it's because of her but he's always making flirty eyes at me and stuff. He called me a few times at home and even gave me little presents at school. He literally courts me." Heck, I was afraid he'd show up at my door one day." I flourished filled with indignation. "Ain't gonna lie in the beginning it was fun but now it's nothing but tiring." My shoulders relaxed as the words left my mouth.
I had kept it all to myself because I thought the problem would solve itself after some time but instead it only seemed to get worse. Speaking to Damon about it, entrusting myself to him, brought me relief because I knew I could build on him.
His eyes grew wide at my revelation. "That's nuts, Elena. Why didn't you tell me sooner?"
"Because I told him all sorts of things, even that there's someone else and thought he'd get it sometime but nada. It's like I'm talking to a wall."
Maybe it was just my wishful thinking but I was quite certain that my eyes caught a small glimpse of jealousy in his eyes when I mentioned the part of there being someone else in my life. He didn't comment on it though, he was too deep in thought.
"Well, then you have to be more convincing." He reasoned.
"And how do I do that, smart-ass?" My voice didn't manage to hold back the eagerness about what he might have come up with.
"One easy step." He paused dramatically, teasing me. "Get yourself a boyfriend."
Absently I stared at him.

"Don't look at me like I told you I can't procreate or something. Which let's be honest, would be impossible cause mother nature wouldn't waste such great reproduction material."
I snorted with laughter. Sometimes he was so full of himself that one could only find it hilarious.

He glared at me and cleared his throat. "But what I actually meant to say was, that you need to get a boyfriend as soon as possible. Then there's a small chance that he gives up on you."

"And where do I conjure up one?"
"Be creative or convince a guy to pretend, shouldn't be so hard with your appearance." He listed. "In emergencies there's still Matt Donovan, I'm sure he'll gladly offer his help."
"Yeah, about that.. um, I might have already told him who my boyfriend is." I bit my lip and shyly looked at him with big eyes like I was the innocence in person. "I might have told him there's something going on between the two of us." Expectantly I focused on him, worried about his upcoming answer.
Shocked, he stared at her. "You did what?"

"I know but he didn't stop poking around so I said the first thing that came to my mind." I prattled helpless and lowered my head.

"And that was the first thing you came up with? Then you'd better leave making plans to me."
"Yeah.." I pretty much think 24/7 about you, so yes, I thought.I lifted my head again to face his eyes with my gloomy ones. "Please Damon."

"Did you know that I'm one of Mystic Falls' most eligible bachelors?"

"So, what?"

"I have a reputation to uphold."

"Damon, I really do need your help. Now...?"

What a unsolvable cliffhanger, huh? ;)

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Thanks in advance, xoxo