Title: A Sibling By Any Other Name
Author: an-alternate-world
Rating: M (starts mild, rating will go up in future chapters)
Characters/Pairings: Blaine/Kurt
Word count: 7,119
Summary: When Blaine is forced into finding a new family, he never expected to meet the people he did. He never expected his life to turn out this way. He never expected to fall so hopelessly in love so early in life. He never expected any of this. AnderBerry siblings, eventual Klaine.
Warnings/Spoilers: A vague re-writing of canon Glee, but there are some huge differences, which you'll see as you go along. Angst, fluff, a little bit of smut.
Disclaimer: I am in no way associated with Glee, FOX, Ryan Murphy or anything else related to the Glee universe.
The concept of a solo for Sectionals had thrown Kurt into a complete nervous spin. Blaine really wanted Kurt to do well, but as he watched him singing Don't Cry For Me Argentina, he couldn't help feeling terribly sad. He knew Kurt had consulted with Rachel – Blaine presumed because Kurt saw him as competition – and it showed, because it was such a Rachel song. More than that, it was such a McKinley song sung by Kurt's old Glee club. Blaine knew Kurt was never going to get selected with that song and he hoped that if they made it as far as Regionals, Blaine would have educated Kurt on proper song selection that would meet the Council's ridiculous and strict guidelines. Had Kurt even read the Warbler constitution?
Kurt took the denial well, although Blaine hated giving him the news. He could see in Kurt's face that it was just another time he'd been turned down and it didn't seem fair but he agreed with the council that it wasn't a Warbler song.
Regardless, Blaine enjoyed Kurt being around. As Kurt's anxiety about his safety relaxed, he became more like his old self with snappy retorts and smiles. There were less tears and less states of panic. It had only been a few weeks and already Kurt was gaining strength in himself again, and Blaine felt like a proud parent as Kurt interacted with the other boys and didn't immediately shrink back when Nick touched his shoulder one time. He also found completing his French homework was far easier with Kurt around, although he would never admit to abusing Kurt's language skills. Because he had nothing to offer Kurt in return for the academic assistance, he tried to teach Kurt about the Warblers and their history, as well as catching Kurt up on some of the standard songs they performed when they went to nursing homes. Another little secret Blaine would never admit? He had insisted on the task with the council because he'd heard Kurt sing a handful of times and wanted a blatant excuse to hear Kurt sing more.
Rachel's calls were more frequent as the competition loomed closer, going completely mental as she shrieked about her lack of solo. Blaine listened patiently and wanted to explain that maybe it was a chance for her to admire the other talents in the group, except pacifying Rachel's lack of solo when Blaine was well-aware he was the one with the vocal lead felt like a ridiculous contradiction, so he kept his mouth shut. At times, Blaine was convinced he could hear Rachel within the walls of Dalton, screeching from Lima. With the amount she worked on her belting technique and projection, it wouldn't surprise him if she was approaching that sort of frequency in her voice.
Her calls did tell Blaine one thing though – that New Directions was trying something else. He talked it over with Kurt and then the rest of the Warblers, feeling that if their biggest competitors were shaking it up, the Warblers had to at least match it. The council was wary of changing things too close to the competition but he knew he had Wes' ear and Wes finally talked David and Thad around into at least allowing some adjustments. It would be absurd to drop out of the competition so early if they remained stalwarts to old favourites .
When the morning finally dawned, there was a drizzle against Blaine's window and he scowled, because it was always a mood destroyer when the weather was miserable.
Being awarded a tie was probably the best result Blaine could have hoped for. He was impressed with the dancing during Valerie and when he looked sidelong at Wes, David and Thad, they inclined their heads in a clear display that yes, they should have listened to Blaine more. Rachel came running over to him backstage, squealing and throwing her arms around his neck as she tackled him. Kurt snorted and Blaine patted his sister on the back.
"I suppose congratulations are in order," Kurt said diplomatically.
"Oh my God, isn't it wonderful getting to perform again at Regionals?" Rachel grinned, squeezing Kurt into a hug. "I mean, if Schue had let me sing lead, we definitelywould have won but I suppose he makes mistakes sometimes too. Quinn isn't nearly as vocally talented as I am and-"
"That's lovely, Rachel," Blaine interrupted smoothly when he saw Kurt trying to keep his face neutral. "But we need to get back to Dalton for the post-competition party and I think I saw Wes making gestures at me earlier so we need to be going."
Kurt covered his smile and kissed Rachel's cheek as he darted away to join Nick and Jeff. Blaine gave his sister a hug before joining the other Warblers, rolling his eyes at Kurt as they left the backstage area and headed for the bus.
The end of Sectionals meant the approach of Christmas and New Year. Jeff had tried holding a sprig of mistletoe above Blaine and Kurt but Kurt had beaten the game by kissing Blaine's cheek. Blaine knew he'd blushed and Jeff and Nick had teased him about it for days until David tried the same mistletoe trick and Blaine made sure he kissed Kurt this time. Kurt gazed at him, speechless, his fingers touching the spot on his cheek that suddenly felt like it was on fire before he turned around and ran back to his dorm room.
"Well, that wasn't quite what I was expecting," David admitted with confusion.
Kurt shyly exchanged Christmas cards with Blaine, his neat penmanship scrawled across the card. It felt like a generic message, and yet the little heart after the "Thank you for everything" made Blaine's own heart do funny things.
He got a text from Kurt just after midnight on New Year and smiled as he sent his own one back. He tried not to wonder why it took him five minutes to decide whether adding an 'x' was too flirty or not for friends. It was a sign of affection, right? Except Blaine was male and gay and Kurt was male and gay and he didn't want Kurt to get the wrong message. So he ended up backspacing over the 'x' and sent a smiley face instead.
"So Valentine's Day is coming up soon."
He sighed and put down his pen. "So, Rachel?"
"Just wondering if you had anything planned," she sing-songed over the phone.
He glanced at his bedside table where a framed picture of Kurt sat smiling back at him. Well, a framed picture of the two of them covered in flakes of snow after an epic snowball fight with Rachel and Finn, but that wasn't the point. All he saw in the picture was Kurt, flushed with exertion and the cold, and grinning, more free and happy than Blaine had seen him in…well, a long time.
"No Rach, I don't have anything planned."
"Not even with someone you like, such as Kurt?"
He choked on the saliva he'd been swallowing and gasped for air for several minutes. "W-what?"
"You heard me," she said dismissively, and he could just imagine her filing her nails to pretend she was totally disinterested while secretly she was analysing his every word and expression.
"I don't like Kurt."
"And I haven't been in love with Finn since I was eight or nine years old," she sighed. "Look, I've seen the way you focus on him. You've always had a thing for him when he was in the room but it's been stronger since he moved to Dalton. Or maybe since you found out he was being bullied. I know how much you like protecting injured baby birds."
"That was one time," he whined.
"And yet you would text me every time Charlie would seem more at ease with you than anyone else," she replied and Blaine pouted at his homework even though she couldn't see him through the phone. "And it wasn't one time. Have you forgotten the kittens you used to bring home? Or how you tried reviving Mrs Lacey's goldfish when you saw it had died?"
He wanted to say no but he remembered giving mouth-to-mouth to a fish at nine years of age and knew he couldn't deny it.
"I don't like Kurt," he repeated.
"Right, right," she said. "Well, just make sure you make that clear to him before Valentine's Day because otherwise your coffee dates with him will slow down and he'll be shooting you death glares for breaking his heart."
"He doesn't-"
"Blaine, just trust me on this?"
"Rachel, are you trying to set me up with your childhood best friend?" he asked suspiciously.
"No!" she sniffed derisively. "But, I know that you two are both really sweet boys so…"
"Sweet?" He gagged on the word. "You don't describe boys as sweet, Rachel. Even gay ones."
She laughed. "Just take care of my Kurt, okay?"
"I'm your brother, shouldn't I be more important?"
"I want to say something about blood is thicker than water and you'll always be more important except we aren't actually related and-"
"Rachel, shut up before I start driving there to strangle you."
"Okay, okay!" she laughed again. "Just…I don't know. Kiss him or give him chocolates or something."
"Kiss him?" he squeaked. "Rachel!"
"You know, you pucker your lips and-"
"OKAY, enough!" He really needed to get her off the phone.
"Bye, baby brother!" she cooed.
He rolled his eyes. "Bye big sister who is actually shorter than me!"
"Hey!" she shrieked, but he'd already ended the call.
He fell back onto his pillows, phone discarded by his Geometry homework. Was Kurt actually interested in him? He reached out and traced his finger over Kurt's smiling face in the photograph. It was a nice fantasy, but that's all it was. A fantasy.
As covertly as he could, Blaine tried to watch Kurt and analyse the way he moved and the way he acted when with people other than Blaine. But it was difficult, because Blaine felt like his body was glowing when Kurt was talking with him and he struggled to concentrate on the intricacies of how Kurt was and just focused on what he liked, which was everything. Kurt's voice washed over him in melodic waves, his eyes penetrated Blaine's soul, his smile healed the scattered pieces of Blaine's heart from months earlier when Kurt had been so broken and crying against his chest.
It was a few days before the fateful day of hideous pink and red when Kurt asked the bombshell question.
"How did you come to be adopted by Rachel's dads?"
They'd been quietly doing homework on Blaine's bed and Blaine hadn't even noticed that Kurt was studying him rather than his History essay.
"I-" He frowned and leaned back. "Why the sudden interest?"
"I've always been interested," Kurt said, fidgeting with his pencil. "I just…never felt like I knew you well enough to ask."
Blaine shoved his work away and curled up by the window seat, watching late-season snow swirling outside.
"Blaine?"
"I don't…" He tightened his hands into fists and tried to relax. "I don't talk about my life before Rachel."
"But-"
"Leave it, Kurt," he snapped, guilt surging through him when he saw Kurt's cringe. "Kurt, I'm sorry."
"Yeah, whatever," Kurt said, shaking his head and gathering his books.
"Kurt-"
"Leave it, Blaine," Kurt said, tone matching Blaine's from before. He slammed the door shut behind him and the bang echoed through Blaine's room. He curled into a ball, knees tucked against his chest as he stared out the window, silent tears staining his jeans.
He ignored Rachel's calls and texts to the point that he turned his phone off. He knew it would annoy her but he simply couldn't deal with her anger over the situation right now. Kurt avoided him, returning home over the weekend and locking his door when he was in his room. He skipped two Warbler rehearsals – to Wes' annoyance – and made sure that someone was always with him whenever Blaine saw him from a distance. His heart ached all over again and he wondered if he had damaged his friendship with Kurt beyond repair.
When a week had passed and the photo by Blaine's bed mocked him with its joy and freedom, he took out a notebook and started writing. There were things crossed out and tear smudges and a few balled up pieces of paper, but he got it out and it felt like he'd just ripped his soul into pieces. He tore the pages from the notebook and folded it into an envelope. He stared at it briefly but he'd made the decision as he left his room and walked down the corridor to Kurt's room. He knew it was pointless to knock because he'd tried so instead he shoved the envelope under the door and hoped Kurt would at least do him the courtesy of reading it.
He went back to his room, changing into sweats and a t-shirt and climbing into the bed, emotionally spent. The snow in the photo by his bed glowed in the dim light and he slammed it down so he didn't have to see it and switched off the light, tears trickling down his face and onto the pillow he clutched beneath his head.
He slept fitfully until he woke from the nightmare, dazedly readjusting himself to his surroundings and realising he'd been awoken by a persistent knock on the door. Flicking his lamp on, he shuffled over to the door and cracked it open.
"I'm so sorry," Kurt whispered, cheeks stained with tears as his fingers shook with the paper in his hands. "I'm sorry. Blaine, if I'd known, I never-"
"I was wrong," Blaine said, opening the door and returning to his bed. Kurt followed him inside nervously and shut the door behind him. "I shouldn't have spoken to you like that. I said I'd never get mad at you and I did, and I was wrong."
"But-"
"Kurt, stop, please? I was at fault and I admit that freely."
Kurt placed the paper on Blaine's desk and then hesitantly crawled into the bed next to Blaine. Trembling, he held his hand out to Blaine in a silent plea. Blaine's eyes met Kurt's and he was sliding his fingers between the nimbler fingers of Kurt's hand, each of them breaking into sobs. Kurt knew Blaine needed it, he needed to grieve, and he held Blaine's body snug to his as Blaine cried against him.
Slowly, Blaine's tears slowed and his breathing returned to a more normal pace.
"Sometimes I forget what they look like," he mumbled as Kurt petted his hair. "Sometimes I realise I can't remember what their voices sounded like, or the layout of our house. I don't remember if I had grandparents but I guess I mustn't have because I was taken into care so quickly. But I…Kurt, I can't remember my parents' faces."
"You were so young," Kurt soothed, nails scraping through his curls and it was so incredibly relaxing to be taken care of like this. "Your memory was only just starting to develop. It's not surprising."
"But they were my mom and dad," he whimpered, biting his hand to stop a fresh wave of tears.
"I was older than you when my mother died," Kurt replied. "And I forget her voice sometimes. I forget her face. But I have pictures. I have my dad to remind me. I have her old dresser which smells of her perfume when she broke a bottle." His fingers coiled into Blaine's hair and then released, over and over. "It's not wrong to forget."
Blaine sniffled and Kurt's hand cupped the back of his neck and squeezed gently, a reassurance that it was okay, that he wasn't alone. Blaine wondered when Kurt had gotten so strong against his demons.
"I never knew," he said, frowning as he tried to centre on the memories.
"Never knew?"
"That they were addicts," Blaine explained. "I didn't know…I didn't know that all the…the stuff in the kitchen was them cooking shit. I don't know what they used to do. I think an explosion like the one that ripped through our house must have been meth or something. When I asked my dads a few years ago, they said that all they knew was that they'd been found together in the living room and it looked like they might have been sleeping. They never would have known what happened. They were just…gone. Just like that."
"Oh Blaine…" Kurt breathed.
"And I-" His voice caught as tears rolled down his cheeks. "I'd been thinking such awful things going to school because they hadn't f-fed me. I thought it was my fault. I went to so many different schools and homes but no one ever asked me if I was okay. It was like they were trying to make me forget I'd had my own family ripped away from me." Kurt's grip tightened and he struggled to stay coherent. "What if there is karma? Or fate? What if thinking bad things makes them happen?"
"Blaine, no…"
"But what if, Kurt?" Blaine hiccupped as he raised his head off Kurt's chest to look at him. "What if it was my fault because secretly I hated them and wanted better parents?"
Kurt shook his head, thumbs wiping the tears on Blaine's face and cradling his cheek and jaw. "You are not responsible for having two parents who used volatile chemicals to cook drugs which exploded."
"But-"
"You are not, Blaine," Kurt said, voice firm as his eyes stared into Blaine's. "Listen to me. For once in your life, listen to me and not the thoughts in your head. It's notyour fault."
"But it's happened again!" he insisted. "I used to feel jealous of Rachel and you playing and then your mom died and-"
Kurt sucked in a breath and released it shakily. "Blaine, those are just awful, awful coincidences." He sat up, pushing Blaine up with him. "I remember when you moved in with Rachel. I remember because she came running into class on the Monday and she was screaming and I couldn't understand anything other than 'brother', and I kept wondering how her fathers had had a child, because it'd been explained to me that only mothers had babies, and neither of her fathers had had a pregnant stomach when I'd been over there."
Blaine smiled through his tears at Kurt's childish innocence. "But what I also remember is that my mother had been sick for long before you were adopted by Rachel and her fathers. I remember celebrating my seventh birthday holding her hand in the hospital," he said, eyes dropping to stare at his hands in his lap. "I remember telling my kindergarten class when I was sick that my mom couldn't come to Parent Day because she couldn't get out of bed very well."
His gaze flickered back up to Blaine's face and unshed tears sparkled in his eyes. "She was so sick for so long that I used to wish she would die because I knew she was in so much pain and I just wanted her to be at peace."
"Oh God…" Blaine whimpered.
"And when she died…"
"You blamed yourself," Blaine finished and Kurt nodded tearfully. "That's why you didn't smile for so long or sing. Because you thought you were to blame."
"And that's why I know you aren't to blame," Kurt said. "Because I know I'm not to blame either. My mother was so incredibly sick and there's no one to blame except nature or fate or whatever it was that gave her that illness which killed her. And neither your thoughts or mine were responsible for that." Kurt reached for Blaine's hand and held it tightly. "Just like your thoughts weren't responsible for your parents dying because they produced drugs."
Blaine felt like he suddenly weighed three hundred pounds less as Kurt's words seeped into parts of his psyche that were so damaged by guilt. Kurt's strength and determination had managed to heal wounds he'd forgotten existed because he ignored them and squashed them down and covered them over with flimsy protection.
Kurt's thumb rubbed over the back of his hand and he found himself staring at Kurt's eyes and unable to look away. Even as Kurt blushed under the sudden intensity, Blaine thought it was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. And then he realised what Rachel had meant, why she'd been trying to push them together for Valentine's Day, because apparently he did have feelings for Kurt and he'd been so caught up in old guilt and fears that he'd been utterly blind to what was biting him in the face.
"Blaine?"
"Kurt, I…" The words died in his throat. What if Kurt didn't feel the same way? What if it was just a really good friendship to Kurt and he messed it all up? "I think I need to sleep," he said, turning away and laying back down. "Do you…do you want to join me or-"
Kurt cut him off by placing a hand over his mouth and sliding beside him. His fingers laced with Blaine's and Blaine understood why Kurt held their hands to his heart all the time, because it felt so intimate and sacred and comforting.
Kurt cuddled behind him, humming softly until Blaine's thoughts settled and he couldn't stay awake any longer.
"Silly Blaine," Kurt murmured, kissing Blaine's hair and snuggling closer. "Goodnight."
The weeks blurred together as Blaine did an awkward dance around his feelings regarding Kurt, constantly questioning what was too much or inappropriate and what would seem out of character for him given how friendly he'd always been with Kurt. He felt exhausted at the end of every day from the constant over-analysing and one night when he tossed and turned with frustration, he found himself grabbing his laptop from underneath the bed and turning it back on.
He found the website he'd abandoned months ago and typed out his login details, glad he hadn't missed any messages and quickly checking Eliza's recent activity.
He was pleased to see that she'd found someone, although she seemed to feel the same way as he did as to whether the feelings were returned or not. In fact, some of her feelings were so familiar Blaine felt like they were living parallel lives. Her heart ached as his did, and he found himself composing a message to her asking her what to do, asking her if it was better to know and potentially spoil the friendship, or keep it trapped inside and run your mind in circles trying to figure it all out.
He felt better getting it out and telling a stranger, someone that was far away and couldn't judge him for it. If he'd gone to Wes, Nick, Jeff or any of the other boys, they'd have teased him for the rest of his life. And it was already pretty bad. He stared blankly at the screen for a few minutes after he'd sent the message before switching everything off and sleeping restlessly.
"So, Regionals is swiftly approaching. We need a game plan. I hereby open this meeting and the floor for suggestions," Wes said, gavel falling on the chock of wood.
Silence fell over the room as the boys debated what to say or do.
"We need something different," Kurt spoke up, cheeks pink as his fingers fiddled with the hem of his blazer. "We need something that's going to make us stand out from New Directions. I know them. I know Rachel. She's going to take the leads this time and she's going to do show-stoppers that will have people on their feet and chanting her name." He rolled his eyes and Blaine smothered his smile. "We need to do more than just a side-shuffle two-step. We need to do more than just being back-up to Blaine all the time. We need to challenge the audience and show them the full extent of the talent we have here."
A few boys nodded in agreement and Blaine felt a bubble of pride in his chest at how diplomatic Kurt had been about the whole thing, considering he'd trashed the Warbler choreography and Blaine's constant lead singing.
"You didn't actually make any suggestions there, Kurt," David pointed out.
Kurt shrugged. "I don't really have any specifically. I mean, we're an a capella group so an arrangement with the band is out. But we could change it up. Have multiple singing or a duet. You could make us wear something that would grab the attention of the audience. Maybe we do something with a theme and have themed costumes." He threw his hands up with mild frustration. "I don't know what we need. I just know that if we keep doing what we're doing, we'll have lost before we even perform, and that's if we go before New Directions. If we go up after and we're doing the same thing…well, we'll know we've already lost and then we'll just lose worse and looklike a bunch of morons up there on stage."
"Morons?" Thad said, eyebrow raised. "I hardly think our refined skills would make us look like morons."
"Kurt's right," Blaine interjected. "We will look silly if New Directions throws everything they have at the competition and blow everyone away and we do the same thing as always."
"So you're agreeing with his ideas of themes and costumes?" Trent challenged.
Blaine glanced at Kurt and shrugged. "I'm agreeing that we need to do something different. We're a group of attractive males. Maybe we should try smiling more and looking happier on stage. Maybe we can make girls swoon. Maybe we can highlight different voices or tug at heart strings with emotional songs." He could feel the nervous flush creeping up his neck at challenging the usual order of things in the group.
"A competition like this isn't the time to take chances that might not pay off," Wes frowned.
"A competition like this is exactly when we need to take chances when we know that if we don't take them, we're screwed anyway!"
Oops. The glare in his direction from Wes meant a serious talking to later. Oh well, he'd take it if it meant that they listened to him.
Flint raised a discussion about changing outfits which made the room explode into quiet discussions regarding anything and everything to do with the competition. Kurt threw Blaine a grateful smile and Blaine's heart skipped a beat or two and it made focusing on the rest of the meeting difficult because all he kept thinking about was what that smile meant.
"If you don't kiss him soon, I swear to God that I will make you eat your own testicles."
He cringed and crossed his legs defensively. "But I don't even know if he feels the same way."
"So you do like him!" she squealed and he hit himself in the head. Stupid, stupid, stupid.
"Rachel, you're missing the point."
"Look, I…I shouldn't tell you this, but I've spoken to him. About you. And…well, it's pretty obvious he feels something."
"He does?"
"Uh huh," she hummed. "And I don't even know why I'm encouraging it so much but I am so just go kiss him. I have songs to- learn. Songs to learn."
"For Regionals?"
"For Regionals," she agreed, clicking off.
Blaine sighed as he retrieved his laptop and logged back onto the website, delighting in seeing a response from Eliza.
'I say go for it! I know I sound like such a hypocrite given my own situation, but if you're as friendly with him as it seems from your writing, then you might be missing out on someone who truly matches you, who loves you and accepts you regardless of your flaws and errors and past. Don't let him go, Jeff. Don't give him up. Have strength and courage and faith in your feelings, and in his. Let your love shine. –E.'
He smiled as he touched the screen, wishing Eliza would take her own advice and tell the girl she was crushing on from a distance. He sent her a message back as such before turning in for the night, words and songs and thoughts whirling through his head as he tried to construct some sort of speech declaring his feelings for Kurt. And hopefully, not sounding like a totally lovesick dork while saying it.
The Warblers had listened to the concerns Kurt had raised, but the hum of activity surrounding Regionals was quickly overshadowed when Pavarotti, the little bird Kurt had been caring for since his arrival at Dalton and acceptance into the Warblers, escaped from his cage and flew out Kurt's bedroom window.
Slightly teary, Kurt had turned to Blaine and asked simply, "Thought anything mean recently?"
Blaine snorted and shook his head, hugging Kurt and saying that maybe now that Pavarotti was free, he could find a nice lady bird to settle down with. Kurt had gazed out the window Pavarotti had flown from and questioned what was wrong settling down with a nice boy bird.
"Absolutely nothing," Blaine replied, kissing Kurt's cheek before he thought about it and then disappearing to his bedroom and making himself scarce for the rest of the day.
After a night of nearly no sleep, he was roused in the early hours by knocking on his door. He still owed Nick for waking him when Kurt had initially arrived, so if it was Nick again he was-
"Hey," he breathed, seeing Kurt's smile as he wrapped his coat around him tighter. "What are you doing here?"
"Can we…can you…" Kurt stamped his foot which Blaine tried not to smile at, because goddamn that was cute. "Get your coat. We're going for a walk."
"Are we?" Blaine questioned as he grabbed his warmest coat from the rack and pulled it on. He slipped on a pair of loafers and shut his room door as Kurt walked beside him. "And what is wrong with going for a walk at a more reasonable hour of the morning, or at the very least day?"
Kurt didn't answer, rubbing his gloved fingers over his arms until Blaine reached out for it and gripped it. He wondered how long Kurt had been out of bed because of how cold his hand was and tried blowing warm air on it to defrost it. Kurt blushed and kept leading him up one of the hills at the back of the school grounds.
"Where are we going?" he asked, looking at the trees and grass and breathing the air that was a little too cool in his lungs this early in the morning.
They reached the top of the hill and Kurt landed with a soft thwump as he sat down, pulling Blaine with him into a tangled pile of limbs.
"A little warning?" he said, rubbing his knee and sitting up beside Kurt, who was looking so incredibly serene as he stared over the grounds of Dalton.
"Sometimes I leave my bed and come here to watch the sun rise," Kurt said softly and Blaine finally took the opportunity to notice that the sun was still hidden, barely, the dawn only just starting to…dawn. Well done, Blaine, great use of language. "I sort of wanted to share it this morning."
Blaine thought his stomach had transformed into a pancake factory with all the flip-flopping it was doing. "Why?"
"I recently heard that I should just go for it, lay it all on the line and deal with the aftermath later, rather than trying to question the ending before I'd even begun the story," Kurt said and something flickered in Blaine's memory. "It was good advice, even though it scares me and instead of, y'know, laying it all out there I'd prefer to hide under the covers of my bed."
"But then you'd miss the sunrise," Blaine mumbled as he examined his shoes as if they were the most interesting thing ever.
"Blaine," Kurt huffed.
"Sorry, sorry."
Kurt looped his arm through the crook of Blaine's elbow, resting his head on Blaine's shoulder and trying to steal some of Blaine's body warmth. His eyes squeezed shut as he drew on everything he had inside him.
"Blaine, I…I like you," Kurt admitted, trying to ignore the way Blaine tensed at the confession. "I like you more than I should because you're Rachel's brother. I like you more than I should because you're younger than me and shorter than me and that's not usually my thing."
"Hey!" Blaine protested weakly.
"But I like you," Kurt continued, voice wobbling as he stared at the sky beginning to lighten in the distance. "I like you and I can't hide it and I can't pretend anymore. It's too much. It's too hard. And maybe you don't feel the same but-"
"I do," Blaine interrupted. "Oh God, Kurt, I so do."
Kurt tried fighting Blaine adjusting him but Blaine was determined and soon he was staring into Blaine's dark golden eyes. And then the eyes were gone because he'd closed his again and was kissing Blaine before he even was aware of it. A part of his brain registered that Blaine's lips were cold and then another part decided that it would be a very good idea to warm those lips up. His hand slid over Blaine's neck and he felt Blaine's fingers in his hair and the whimper that escaped his mouth encouraged Blaine to kiss him harder and deeper, tongues meeting and moving wetly over each other.
He didn't want to stop. He didn't want to stop ever, but Blaine was literally sucking air from his lungs so the kiss didn't end and he had to break away to inhale oxygen.
The sun had made its first appearance over the horizon, golden beams shooting into the sky as clouds appeared to glow. It was magical, and Blaine could completely understand why Kurt would come and watch it. It was eerily peaceful and once again something intimate that he had shared with Kurt. The heat in his cheeks was matched by Kurt's, a sweet smile curving Kurt's red lips.
Kurt's hand found his again and they watched in silence as the sun rose slowly, dazzling them with a multi-coloured sky and washing the world with life. Birds that Blaine hadn't even noticed before were starting to rise and chirp and he distantly wondered if maybe Pavarotti was lurking in one of the trees nearby. The calm of the morning settled over them as their bodies leaned into one another. It wasn't just a new morning, but a new start for them, together.
The test for Rachel's screeching abilities apparently demonstrated she hadn't yet mastered sending her voice from Lima to Dalton, but Blaine was pretty sure he had some permanent inner ear damage from the volume piercing his phone.
"It's about damn time!" she ranted. "I told him to kiss you weeks ago and-"
"You told him?" he cut in, frowning at a picture on his wall that was askew. He touched it with his finger and righted it so it was level.
"Well, he has my number too, you know. Sometimes he wanted to know what you were thinking and we'd talk about you."
"You'd talk about me?"
"Since when do you repeat me all the time?" she huffed as Blaine fell onto his bed. "Anyway, that's so not the point! He's been so confused for months, the poor boy, and then something seemed to change and he became more determined. He said something about not wanting to be a hypocrite anymore and listening to his own advice and-"
Blaine zoned out because he'd dropped his phone in shock. He'd heard those words before. Well, no, he hadn't heard them, he'd read them. Suddenly pieces of a jigsaw Blaine didn't even know he'd been building smacked into place and he found himself making excuses to get Rachel off the line, ignoring her indignant yelps as he hung up and sprinted down the corridor to Kurt's room.
"You don't need to make such a commotion," Kurt squinted as he opened the door to stop Blaine knocking on it.
"I do when there's something bugging me," Blaine said, entering the room and pacing between the shelf holding Kurt's books and his window.
Kurt took a seat on his bed and watched Blaine with his head tilted to the side. "What's bugging you?"
"Your mother, what was her name?" Blaine said, pausing to gaze steadily at Kurt.
"E-Elizabeth, why?"
"That's your middle name too, isn't it?" Blaine continued, and it all started to come together when Kurt nodded.
"Don't you think it's strange, that she gave you her name? I mean, who gives a boy a girl's name? Family heirloom names are one thing but they stay within their genders."
Kurt frowned. "What are you getting at?"
"Your mother was sick before you were born," Blaine said suddenly. "She was sick before you were born and she knew you were going to be her only child. So she gave you her name."
Kurt gaped at him.
"She gave you her name and you have her voice and sometimes, sometimes you use it, her name I mean, or your middle one." His gaze fell on Kurt's laptop before he resumed pacing. "Except you shorten it. You change it. You mix it up so no one will recognise you. It's clever, because I did the same."
"Blaine, I don't understand-"
"You're Eliza, aren't you?" Blaine said, stopping in the middle of the floor and staring hard at Kurt. "On the website. You're Eliza."
Kurt's mouth moved but there weren't any coherent sentences being spat out. "How do you…what…I don't…"
"Say it, Kurt. You're Eliza."
Kurt crossed his arms and scowled. "So what if I was this 'Eliza' person?"
"Don't bullshit me!" Blaine yelled, and then knowing he'd done the wrong thing once again when Kurt jumped.
"Blaine, what's going on?"
"Don't you see?" Blaine said, breath shortening as he struggled to maintain some semblance of control. "Don't you get it? You're Eliza, and I'm…I'm…" His knees gave out and he slumped to the floor, clutching at the carpet weakly as emotions smacked into him with the force of a freight train. "I'm Jeff," he whispered.
"You're…" Kurt's hand covered his mouth. "Oh my God. Oh my God. No way, no way!"
And there it was. There was the confirmation that Blaine was right and the world was too small and Kurt knew things about him that even Rachel didn't know.
"But it's not possible," Kurt was muttering as he shook his head and tried to convince himself that Blaine hadn't said what he had most definitely said.
"It's not probable, certainly," Blaine said. "But it happened."
"But how…?"
"How did I know?" Kurt nodded as he joined Blaine on the floor. "It was something you said. Yesterday morning when we…watched the sun rise. You said that you had to stop thinking about the ending before you'd even begun."
"Which is what Jeff told me…" Kurt breathed with wide eyes.
"It made me frown because it was something so familiar to me but I couldn't place it. And then I was telling Rachel and she was saying how you hadn't wanted to be a hypocrite anymore and that's what Eliza had said. What you had said."
"But the chances…"
"Are ridiculously impossible, I know," Blaine smiled. "It's even more impossible when Jeff Smith lives in Seattle and Eliza Franklin lives in New York."
Kurt blushed. "You know I like New York."
"I didn't have that much thought in it. I just chose somewhere on the other side of the country to make it as unlikely to be me as possible."
Kurt's smile was bemused as he shook his head again. "I can't believe it."
"Maybe it was fate."
"Maybe I should think bad thoughts more often," Kurt teased.
Blaine chuckled and felt the uneasy tension of his realisation disappearing as Kurt seemed to accept it far quicker than Blaine had expected him to.
"I think I knew, maybe, somewhere," Kurt said, as if reading his thoughts. "Sometimes your problems would mirror mine so perfectly. Your thoughts when you wrote to me sounded so much like you." Kurt frowned and scratched his nose. "Or maybe I just wanted to think that it was you because it meant that you felt the same and were just too scared to admit it."
"It's not like you were any better," Blaine pointed out.
"I do believe that I took you to the hill, laid my feelings out there, and kissed you first, Blaine Anderson," Kurt said with a firm look. "So at least I got over my fear."
Blaine's lips quirked into a smile as he cradled Kurt's cheek. "I used to be jealous of you and Rachel. Maybe I always wanted to be a part of your world, and be someone more than Rachel's little brother. Seeing you so upset with the bullying last year…I wanted to help you. I wanted to save you and fix you and heal you." His thumb swiped the tear that sneaked free of Kurt's eye. "Eliza would write things that broke my heart, that made me want to wrap her in my arms and never let her go. The fact that it was you and you were so damn close…"
"But many times you did wrap me up and keep me safe," Kurt acknowledged, nuzzling his face into Blaine's hand and kissing Blaine's palm.
"It's not quite the same though," Blaine said, and Kurt conceded with a nod. "I don't really know when I realised how I actually felt. I think you helping me with my guilt opened my eyes in so many ways, and I think I was finally able to acknowledge my feelings and not feel bad about them." He shrugged as his fingers curled behind Kurt's ear to scratch at the ridge there. Kurt shuddered and hummed with contentment. "I've been so blind."
"At least now you can see," Kurt murmured, yawning and pressing into Blaine's hand. Blaine was distinctly reminded of a cat as he shifted to his knees and touched his lips to Kurt's. Whimpering, Kurt's fingers found his hips and tugged him closer and Blaine happily obliged because kissing Kurt was never, ever going to get boring in his opinion.
A/N: Congratulations to the few particularly savvy reviewers who picked up on the Eliza/Kurt thing. I also changed up a few of the details from canon, as I said I would, but I hope you still enjoy it and will go with it because it just felt more suited to the way I've written Kurt and Blaine in this story. Also, finally some understanding on Blaine's history! Yay! Did anyone guess what it might have been?
As always, I'm astounded by the response and forever grateful and thankful for all you, my wonderful readers. Without you, it wouldn't be worth writing. So thank you! xx