A.N.: Well, here it is. Sorry it took so long, but this chapter was difficult to write. On the bright side, I think this is the best one so far! So enjoy.

The pale gray morning light shone faintly through the heavy fog as the company prepared to press on. The past evening they had ridden many hours. In that time they had crossed the Fords, and now it was only five more leagues until they would reach Isengard.

Having finished cleaning her teeth and gathering her few provisions, Ayelita mounted her horse, Scythe (a.k.a. Redundant). "Why you spend your time on that is beyond me," Gimli gruffly muttered behind her.

"On what?" Lita asked.

"Scrubbing your teeth."

"Eww," said Lita, making a face. "You don't brush your teeth? Remind me to never come within smelling distance of you!" Honestly, do any of these people have a sense of hygiene? Lita wondered. Disgusting.

They rode now on the highway, traveling slowly. Ayelita looked around at their surroundings through the fog. The land was dead looking, with no trees and the ground being covered with scraggly weeds and brambles. Once, she thought she saw a little hedgehog waddling through the growth that it so aptly matched. Everything about this place was depressing, except for the hedgehog.

After a few more miles the highway became paved, and beside the road a pillar with a great, white, stone hand atop it loomed. It pointed north. I am sensing a theme here, Lita thought, remembering the mark of the white hand upon the shields of the foes that they had fought.

As the company followed Gandalf past the pillar of the hand, they saw large pools of water in the ditches on either side of the road. There were occasional dips and potholes in the road, and those too, were filled with water.

SPLASH! Redundant had stepped into what had to be the biggest, wettest pothole on the whole road. Lita tsked, leading him out of the puddle. For the rest of the way, no matter how much Lita tried to guide him around them, Redundant continued to step into every single puddle on the road. He was probably getting some sort of enjoyment out of this.

Finally, Gandalf halted; they had arrived at vast gates of Isengard. Or what used to be the gates of Isengard, for the great doors lay twisted and broken on the ground. The arch still stood, but was reduced to a gaping hole. The walls on either side had huge chunks torn out of them. Stone and rubble lay scattered everywhere. Beyond, the stronghold was filled like a pool with dirty, steaming water in which all sorts of jetsam and junk languidly floated.

Lita sat, blinking and gazing in wonder at the complete and total destruction. She wondered in admiration at who could have done all this. Lita looked at the archway and saw two figures lying on top of a large pile of rubble, surrounded by plates, bowls, and bottles. One slept as the other sat back, smoking something. They looked to be young men, about her age, wearing grey cloaks that matched the rocks perfectly, and both had insanely curly hair. The one major difference they had from most other people was that they both seemed to be about only four feet tall. They had to be the two most adorable people Lita had ever seen! She suppressed a squeal of delight.

Suddenly, the little smoking person became aware of their presence and jumped up, bowing to the king. "Welcome, my lords, to Isengard! We are the door wardens. Meriadoc, son of Saradoc is my name; and my companion, who, alas, is overcome with weariness," he said, subtlety kicking his friend, "is Peregrin, son of Paladin, of the house of Took. Lord Saruman is within; but at the moment he is closeted with one Wormtongue, or doubtless he would be here to welcome such honorable guests." The little guy had a fairly high voice, but that was to be expected of someone his size. Already Lita liked him from his chipper speech.

Gandalf laughed, "Doubtless he would! And was it Saruman that set you to guard his doors?"

"No, good sir, the matter escaped him," Meriadoc answered seriously. "Our orders came from Treebeard, who has taken over the management of Isengard."

"And what about your companions? What about Legolas and me?" Gimli burst out. "You rascals, you woolly-footed and wool-pated truants! A fine hunt you have led us! And here we find you feasting and idling- and smoking! Smoking! I am so torn between rage and joy, that if I do not burst, it will be a marvel!"

"You speak for me, Gimli," Legolas said. "Though I would rather learn how they came by the wine."

Lita gaped, staring wide-eyed form her new companions to these little-whatever they were. From the look on her face anyone could have thought that Sauron himself had come over and said that he was really a sweet and kind bunny and that the whole war was just a big misunderstanding. "You know each other!?!?!!?" she finally burst out.

All turned to look at her. Several laughed. Had Lita not been so astonished and curious, she would have felt rather sheepish. "Yes, we know them," Legolas replied. "It was our hunt to rescue these two that brought us to Rohan."

Before either of them could say more, King Théoden said, "So these are the lost ones of your company, Gandalf? The days are fated to be filled with marvels. Are these not the Halflings, that some among us call the Holbytlan?"

"Hobbits, if you please, lord," said Peregrin, having woken up.

It was a short while later that Gandalf and the king, along with his company, rode off to find this Treebeard in order to speak with him. Lita was left behind with Legolas, Gimli, Aragorn, and the hobbits. The four dismounted, leaving their horses to go in search of some grass. Thinking better of it, Lita, using the longest rope she had, tied Redundant to Hasufel so that he would not get lost.

"This is Ayelita Karaban," Aragorn said, introducing her to the hobbits. "We met in Edoras and she was with us at the battle at Helm's Deep."

"Hello," she said brightly, shaking his little hand. "I'd prefer that you call me Lita."

"Likewise, you can call me Pippin and my friend here is Merry," Pippin said in the same manner.

"Now, how about a meal?" said Gimli. "I have a sore head, and it is past mid-day. You truants might make amends by finding us some of that plunder. Food and drink would pay off some of my score against you."

Merry and Pippin were glad to oblige and invited them all over to go have some lunch in a guard-house under the arch. They went up a flight of stairs and into a large, stone room where light poured in from the broken roof. They sat down at the end of a long wooden table while the hobbits went into a store room through a side door, coming out with dishes, cups, knives, forks, and various food items.

Lita took some salted pork, buttered bread, and wine (she was not a big fan of beer), gladly digging in. Merry and Pippin joined them for a second lunch, saying that they must keep their guests company.

"How does someone as small as you eat so much?" Lita asked bemusedly.

"Those are hobbits for you," Legolas laughed. "If we had not arrived, they would already have been keeping one another company again."

"Maybe; and why not?" Pippin demanded. "We had foul fare with the Orcs, and little before that. It seems a long while since we could eat to heart's content."

"I know what you mean," Lita laughed. It had been much the same after her journey from Linhir to Edoras. "Where are you from, anyway? I have never heard of hobbits."

"Our home is in the far North, we call it the Shire," Pippin answered.

"Are there any towns of Men or Elves nearby?" she asked, shoving the rest of her bread into her mouth.

"Bree is some leagues to the East of us, and the Grey Havens are a bit further to the West."

Lita nodded, knowing the general area from maps she had seen. "Are all of your people so short?"

"Many are even shorter," Pippin replied.

"Indeed, I would swear that you both have grown somewhat, if that is possible for hobbits of your age," Gimli said, looking them up and down. "This Treebeard has not been starving you."

"No, he has not," Merry said. "But Ents only drink, and drink is not enough."

"You have drunk the waters of the Ents, have you?" Legolas asked. "Ah, then it is likely that Gimli's eye do not deceive him. Strange songs have been sung of the draughts of Fangorn."

"Speaking of strange," Pippin continued, addressing Lita. "I wish to hear about you as well. How did a lady come to be riding with this lot?"

"I'll start off by saying that the word 'strange' does fit me in every possible way. I simply demanded to go to the battle that just happened back at Helm's Deep, and refused to go back after it was over. Just several days ago I worked as a maid at Edoras."

Merry and Pippin gave her a funny look, evidently noticing that she did not exactly fit in with the Rohirrim. "I'm originally from Linhir," she explained. "My background is a mix of Haradrim, Elf, and Gondorian. I came up to Edoras after my mother died and I had no family left." As she said this, Lita could tell that Legolas was thinking something from the look in his eyes, but she could not guess what. Lita had not told him that the reason she left her old home was because she had been orphaned.

"If you have finished eating," said Merry suddenly, "you shall fill your pipes and light up." He pulled out a small leather pouch. This caught the attention of Aragorn and Gimli. "We did some salvage-work this morning, Pippin and I. We found two small barrels; when we opened them, we found they were filled with this: as fine a pipe-weed as you could wish for."

Gimli took some, rubbing it between his fingers and sniffing. "It feels good, and it smells good."

"What is it?" Lita inquired, stretching out her hand for some. She rubbed and smelled as Gimli had done. Lita wrinkled her nose in revulsion. It smelled awful; bitter and somehow dirty. "You smoke this?!" she asked in disgust.

"Why of course; it is good!" Merry exclaimed indignantly. Pippin gave Gimli a pipe, since he did not have one.

"Well, I am going back into the open air, to see what the wind and sky are doing!" said Legolas, showing no interest in smoking. They all went with him, finding places to sit on the previously vacated pile of rocks. Lita sat with her back against the wall while Aragorn and Legolas both stretched out.

They relaxed for several minutes in relative silence, Legolas laying flat on his back with his hands behind his head as he stared up at the sky, singing softly to himself. Lita nudged him with her leg. "I now see that you don't need pipe-weed, you are already strange enough as it is," she playfully teased. This got huffs of laughter out of the companions.

"You think you are funny, do you?" Legolas mock-indignantly asked.

"Aye, as a matter of fact I am."

"Then tell us something amusing," Pippin demanded.

Lita thought a moment of some of the best jokes she knew, finally deciding on one. Smiling mischievously, she began, "There was a little lad who lived with his parents. One day, he walks in on them arguing, and hears the words 'bitch' and 'bastard.' When he asks what those words mean, his parents tell him that they are kind words for 'lady' and 'lord'.

"Later, the boy comes upon his father shaving and hears him say 'shit!' when he cuts himself. 'What does shit mean?' the boy asks. 'Why, it is a type of soap that is especially good for shaving,' his father replies." Merry and Pippin were already begging to crack up in anticipation for the rest.

Lita continued, "On another day, the child comes into the kitchen as his mother is cooking a turkey. 'Fuck!' he hears her exclaim when she burns her hand on the pan. When he asks what the word means, she tells him, 'why, it is a way of preparing a turkey.'

"Finally, the guests arrive to their home for supper. 'Welcome, bitches and bastards,' the boy greets them. 'My parents cannot receive you right now because my father is away rubbing shit on his face and my mother is busy fucking the turkey."

Merry, Pippin, and Gimli immediately burst into peals of laughter. Aragorn began with a hesitant chuckle that grew to match the others' hilarity. Legolas had a bizarre expression on his face, as if he did know whether to be outraged at such crude humor or to join the others in their mirth. The second option eventually won out as he, too, doubled over in laughter. Lita released a breath that she had not realized she had been holding, glad that they all found her to be more humorous than outrageous.

"That… was… amazing!" Merry managed to choke out. Lita grinned all the more proudly. They all took some time to recover.

"What of the tale?" Aragorn asked, remembering the hobbits' promise to tell them of their adventures.

"Well, my tale begins with waking up in the dark and finding myself all strung-up in an orc camp," Pippin began. For nearly an hour, he, with the help of Merry, told of how they had been captured by orcs, managed to escape, met Treebeard, and how the Ents demolished Isengard. Lita listened attentively the entire time, fascinated. The hobbits had a greater sense of heroics and adventure than she had expected.

Finally, they more or less finished with their tale. Gimli re-filled and re-lit his stinking pipe. Lita became aware of the gradual cramping of almost her entire body. Clambering to her feet, she stretched up, bent back, and touched her toes (though not simultaneously). As she did this, Lita thought she felt someone's gaze on her, though when she looked around, she did not see anyone looking at her.

"There is one more thing I wonder about," Legolas said, shifting his position. "You told Théoden Wormtongue was with Saruman. How did he get there?"

Pippin described Wormtongue's arrival that morning. Half an hour later, the discussion was over and Merry said, "I wonder what Gandalf is doing. The afternoon is getting on. Let us go look around! You can enter Isengard now, but it is not a very cheerful sight." Taking Merry's suggestion, they went through the damaged tunnel, entering the ring of Isengard.

A.N.2: OK, anyone who reviews gets to go hang out with adorable hobbits! And, if you write a nice and detailed review, and adorable Legolas, too!