Title: A Sibling By Any Other Name
Author: an-alternate-world
Rating: M (starts mild, rating will go up in future chapters)
Characters/Pairings: Blaine/Kurt
Word count: 7,829
Summary: When Blaine is forced into finding a new family, he never expected to meet the people he did. He never expected his life to turn out this way. He never expected to fall so hopelessly in love so early in life. He never expected any of this. AnderBerry siblings, eventual Klaine.
Warnings/Spoilers: A vague re-writing of canon Glee, but there are some huge differences, which you'll see as you go along. Angst, fluff, a little bit of smut.
Disclaimer: I am in no way associated with Glee, FOX, Ryan Murphy or anything else related to the Glee universe.
Kurt had thought the Warbler's do-over of Queen's You're My Best Friend and Pink's Raise Your Glass had been outstanding performances that showcased a variety of voices and talent. It exposed their camaraderie and cohesion and the cheers had been huge. Wes and Thad had both personally come over to Kurt and thanked him for giving the council the challenge they needed to try something different and Blaine had grinned and squeezed his hand.
But no one, not Kurt or Blaine or anyone in the Warblers or indeed the rest of the competition including Sue's ridiculous troupe of poorly organised vocalists, could have predicted New Directions writing their own songs. Kurt stared at Blaine and Blaine stared at his sister singing her heart out. He'd been so distracted recently with his feelings for Kurt that he hadn't paid much attention to what had been going on in her life. He wondered what was going so wrong that she needed to desperately get right.
And if Kurt had been stunned by one original song, he was never prepared for two. He couldn't help laughing in his seat, even when Jeff smacked his shoulder from behind, because he understood exactly what the song was about and it was so utterly perfect. And more than anything, he wanted to be up there and singing in Sue's face. Instead he was on his feet, ignoring the scowls of the other Warblers, and grabbed Blaine's hand when Blaine stood to jump around to the song as well. But when Wes conceded that yes, New Directions had written a great song and found himself bopping his head, David and Thad had stopped looking quite so scandalised.
The win for New Directions was clear from the get-go and Blaine congratulated his sister backstage because she truly deserved it.
"Something more going on in that song?" he said quietly as she held onto the back of his blazer, face buried against his shoulder.
"Finn and I broke up," she whispered, pulling away and wiping the tears away from her eyes. "Again. Quinn actually gave me the right degree of hurt and anger to channel into the song."
"Oh Rach," he sighed, tugging her to his chest again and resting his head on the top of hers. It was the only benefit of her being so small, that he could snuggle her like this while they stayed standing. It made him feel like an overprotective big brother even though he was younger than her. "I've always said you could do better than Finn," he said, rubbing a hand over her back.
"I know, I know," she sniffled and he held her tighter. "But the heart wants what the heart wants, huh?"
He smiled ruefully and kissed the top of her hair. "I love you too."
"And I know that too," she said, giving him a watery smile and kissing his cheek. She breathed deeply and gave a determined nod. "I need to go celebrate the win with my teammates. I'll talk to you soon, okay? And don't spend too much time with Kurt and fail your finals!"
"Yes, sis," he teased, pushing her towards her teammates her were squealing over the latest trophy and the opportunity to go to Nationals.
Wes sidled over and nudged Blaine's arm. "At least we didn't look like total asses up there."
Blaine snorted. "I did warn you."
"And we listened."
"Barely."
Wes shrugged and stuffed his hands in his blazer pockets. "We're heading back to Dalton. Are you and Kurt coming, or are you going with your sister and his old teammates?"
Blaine glanced over at where Kurt was laughing with Brittany and Santana. "We'll come back. Just…give him a few minutes?"
Wes nodded and wandered away to join up with some of the other seniors in the group. Even as Kurt smiled, he couldn't help analysing it and feeling it was more strained than typical around the Dalton boys. Kurt caught his eye and he made his way over.
"Hey, Wes wanted to know if you were nearly ready to go?"
Kurt's arm looped through his and his smile was grateful for the briefest second.
"No! Kurt, come with us! You were one of us too!" Brittany pleaded.
Kurt bit his lip but ultimately shook his head. "I was one of you. I'm not anymore. You guys go have a great time." He reached for her hand and pulled her into a brief hug under Santana's envious gaze. "You guys deserve it. I never could have predicted original songs."
"Yeah, well," Santana said as she flicked her hair. "We needs to do something to beat boys in blazers."
Her gaze raked over Blaine and he rolled his eyes. "Not only am I gay, Santana, but I've known you since you were in primary school and I know Rachel would kill the pair of us."
She shrugged as Brittany linked their pinkies. "Gay doesn't stop me," she replied with a wink and turned away, dragging Brittany with her.
Blaine shook his head and tugged Kurt away before he clawed out her eyes. He saw Rachel standing to one side with Sam and Mercedes while Finn stood with Quinn and he wondered at the frequency with which partners got transferred at that school. Honestly, it boggled his mind.
"Did Rachel put you up to this?"
"No, I-"
"Is it me?"
"What? Blaine-"
"Why? Why would you go back to a place like that? Why would you go back to torment and fear and terror?" Blaine yelled.
"Because my Dad can't afford this place anymore!" Kurt yelled back.
Blaine paused as his anger deflated like a popped balloon. "But I thought-"
"I don't care what you thought, Blaine. It's expensive and he's working so many hours to pay for me here and pay his medical bills and it's too much for him and it's too much for me because it's placing too much stress on him and I'm worrying myself sick!"
He stepped towards Kurt with his hands outstretched. "Kurt-"
"No, Blaine! Don't try and coddle me or mollify me or soothe it with words! You think I want to go back there? I'm the one that knows what it was like, not you!"
"Kurt-"
"Shut up. SHUT UP!" he cried, hands clapping over his ears as he burst into sobs and sank to his knees. "It's the last thing I want to do but I don't have a choice anymore."
Blaine fell in front of him and desperately pulled him into a hug as Kurt broke into tears. "Surely there's something…"
"I can't apply for scholarships or special requests. I don't qualify for anything. I've checked."
Blaine clutched Kurt's trembling body and it felt like his heart was breaking all over again. Kurt was going to leave and he hadn't even been here that long.
"I had a meeting with Karofsky and his Dad a couple days ago…"
"You what?"
Kurt cringed in Blaine's hold and he sucked in a breath through his nose to try and calm down. "He's changed. He wants to be a better person and protect me from being hurt by other guys in the football team. He's in some league thing with Santana, which is hilarious since they're both just closeted gays." He snorted and wiped his eyes.
"Wait, Santana's gay?"
"Did you completely miss the way she hangs on to everything Brittany says, how she shoots glares at anyone and everyone that touches Britt, how she's always next to her and touching her?"
"Well, no, but I just thought-"
"That it's perfectly acceptable for girls to do that but not guys?" Kurt laughed bitterly as he blew his nose into a tissue. "It is acceptable. No one's ever batted an eyelash at it. It doesn't change that Santana's in the closet and bearding for Karofsky."
Blaine grimaced at the thought of anyone being interested in the hulking, smelly bully, beard or not. "It doesn't excuse his behaviour or actions towards you."
"I know it doesn't," Kurt sighed, leaning back into Blaine's arms. "But he's made his peace and he's promised to leave me alone and I'm out of options here."
"I don't like it."
"You're not the one going back."
Blaine knew it was true and nosed at Kurt's hair. "Promise you'll still call and text? Promise you'll still see me?"
"Oh Blaine," Kurt smiled, tilting his face up to touch Blaine's cheek. "Like I could get rid of you so easily."
"Well, you could."
"You live with Rachel."
"So?"
"And I'm pretty sure if I broke your heart, it would be the end of my close friendship with her as well as the close friendship my balls have with my dick."
Blaine blinked and tried not to think inappropriate thoughts, although it was difficult. "Yes. Well. Um. Let's just…let's keep all body parts attached."
"I'm good with that plan," Kurt nodded, tugging Blaine's head down and kissing him softly.
Releasing Kurt back into the care of his dysfunctional and self-absorbed friends was probably one of the hardest situations Blaine had had to walk away from in years. Rachel hauled him back for a hug and made promises about taking care of him, but watching him amidst the New Directions, Blaine felt a little like Kurt had been a broken, tarnished toy sent to Dalton for repairs and polishing. Now that he was fixed, he was shiny and new and exciting again. And then the coat of polish would wear off, faster than usual because they all knew Kurt and he wasn't someone they needed to learn the ins and outs of, and Kurt would be back to the curb. He watched with tears in his eyes until Nick pulled him away, hoping, hoping, that Kurt would be okay in the hallways of horror.
"What the hellare you talking about, Rachel?"
"Kurt's cheating on you! I saw it! I was with Finn and we-"
"Were spying?" Blaine supplied.
"No. We were trying to figure out what was going on and-"
"Spying."
"Watching at a distance!" she hissed. "And Kurt came out and then Sam was wearing one of his jackets and I know it was one of his jackets and Blaine, you need to listen to me!"
Blaine's heart was honestly twisting into pretzels because he couldn't block her out and everything with Kurt was still so fresh and new and he knew that Kurt had had a crush on Sam earlier in the year and God, what if Sam was one of those people who wanted what was unobtainable?
"Blaine?"
"God, Rachel. You just want to rip people's relationships apart left and right. Leave me alone. Leave Kurt alone. You said you'd look out for him and his best interests."
"I am. And I'm trying to look out for yours too! I thought you'd break his heart but maybe he'll break yours!"
Blaine flinched away from the phone and hung up on his sister before switching the phone off and flinging it at his desk. He was hurting and furious and terrified. He hurled himself onto his bed and buried his face in the pillow, screaming like he hadn't done since he was a child because it was too much to take in.
It was Saturday, three days since that damned call from his damned sister, when he was disturbed by knocking on his door.
"I told you I didn't want to play Halo, Nick!"
"Open the goddamn door, Blaine."
Oh.
He cracked it open and peeked out. "Kurt?"
"What the hell is going on? Your phone is off and no one would tell me what was wrong or let me talk to you!" Kurt's fingers trembled by his sides and Blaine could clearly tell he'd been crying. "Do you not want me anymore? Because it would have been nice to have known it a bit more directly."
"Rachel says you're cheating on me."
"Oh my God, I told her not to talk to you about it!" Kurt shrilled, face contorting in fury.
"So you are?" Blaine said, heart dropping. "Thanks a lot, Kurt."
He slammed the door in Kurt's face and felt his heart splinter at his feet.
"What the shit, Anderson? Open the fuck up! I'm not cheating on you! I'm trying to help Sam for crying out loud!"
He shook his head and stumbled away to his bed, collapsing in a heap and burying his head under the pillows, but he could still hear Kurt yelling.
"So help me, I'll break your door down or get someone to help me break it down! I don't care if it's solid oak or walnut or whatever the hell all the wood is in this place, I'll blast it off its fucking hinges!" Kurt was raving.
Tears dampened the mattress beneath Blaine's face as he heard Kurt grow more and more enraged and hysterical, his yells turning to desperate pleas.
Finally Kurt fell silent even as Blaine sobbed into his pillow. He never thought Kurt would have done this. He never would have thought it would hurt so much.
"Blaine? Dude, are you in there?" He tucked the pillow around his ears tighter. "Blaine, Kurt's having a panic attack. He can't breathe, man."
He peeled the pillow away. "What?"
"Blaine, get the fuck out here and help Kurt before he passes out."
Blaine flung the pillow away and leaped from the bed, stumbling over his feet as he ripped the door open. Wes and Nick were kneeling beside Kurt while Jeff held other boys back.
"Kurt, come on, breathe," Wes encouraged, glaring at Blaine.
Blaine fell to his knees and scooped Kurt into his arms, ignoring how pale Kurt was as he trembled uncontrollably. "Kurt, baby, it's okay. It's okay. I've got you. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry…shh…"
Blaine didn't think he'd ever held Kurt, or anyone else for that matter, so tightly before. He rocked back and forth humming while Wes kept telling Kurt to breathe and Nick shooed several sophomores back to their rooms.
He stopped humming when he felt Kurt's breathing catch and he stared desperately at Wes, tears prickling his own eyes. "Please Kurt, please…don't pass out on me…it's okay…you're safe, I've got you honey…shhh…"
Wes eased Kurt into a different position where the side of his face was pressed into Blaine's chest. He picked up Kurt's hands between his and searched for Kurt's wildly frightened eyes. "Kurt, can you pay attention to me, okay? Can you squeeze my hand?" Kurt tightened his grip and Wes smiled. "That's great, Kurt. Okay. What I want you to do, you can hear Blaine's heart, yeah? You can hear it beating beneath your ear? Squeeze my hand once for yes if you can hear it."
Kurt slipped down a little and Blaine clutched him closely until he saw the squeeze of Kurt's hand.
"Okay Kurt, that's great. What I want you to do, I want you to listen to his heart. I want you to listen to it beating beneath your ear and thudding against your cheek, okay?" Kurt's fingers twitched in affirmation. "Okay, and I want you to feel Blaine's lungs expanding. I want you to try and inhale once for every four beats of Blaine's heart, okay? I know that sounds really impossible right now because your pulse is so high, but I want you to concentrate on counting to four, and then inhaling, okay? And then I want you to count another three beats and let your breath out as slowly as you can. You don't need to count that time. It can be a slow release or a whoosh, I don't care."
One of Wes' hands came free to brush the hair that had fallen into Kurt's eyes back and his dark eyes focused on Kurt's. "Four beats, okay? Do you want to do it together?" Kurt's head shook slightly. "Okay, okay. Just focus on counting. Focus on listening and counting to four and inhaling."
Nick and Jeff watched from nearby as Wes gradually talked Kurt around and his frantic panting slowed.
"I'm sorry," Kurt whimpered, pawing at Blaine's t-shirt when he was able to collect his thoughts enough to speak.
"You're sorry? God, Kurt, I said I'd be calmer and listen to you and look at me, look at you, look at this," he said, cradling Kurt and kissing his forehead. "I'm the one that's sorry. I should never have done that without listening. Never. I was, once again, completely in the wrong."
Kurt trembled and his fingers curled into the fabric.
"Can we move off the floor in the corridor and take this inside, maybe?" Blaine asked and Kurt gave a wobbly nod.
"I'll stay with you if you don't mind," Wes said. "I'll sit in the corner by the door. I just want to make sure he doesn't throw up or anything."
Blaine agreed and together they helped Kurt onto Blaine's bed where he curled up around a pillow and patted behind him for Blaine to spoon against him. Nick and Jeff departed awkwardly while Wes sat, as promised, in a corner by the door, watching closely.
"I'm sorry," Blaine whispered, petting Kurt's hair. "I'm sorry. I was so out of line."
"I just wanted to explain," Kurt said softly, voice shaky and heartbroken.
"I know, I know. Rachel planted the idea in my head days ago and then I took everything you said wrong and it just exploded in my head and I was wrong," Blaine said, kissing the back of Kurt's head. "Please honey, I'm listening now. I'll keep my calm, I promise."
Kurt breathed carefully and sought out Blaine's hand to grip between his. "I'm just helping Sam, honest. He…his family home got repossessed and all they had were the clothes on their backs and whatever they could carry in the five minutes they were given to get out. I let him take some of my old clothes that were more his style because he needed something and I have so many."
Blaine really needed to manage his temper better because it always made him look like such an ass. And Wes' criticising look wasn't helping his guilt at all.
"Rachel must have seen me when I went over to drop the clothes off, only she missed the part where I gave him the clothes and just saw me leaving. I spent some time with his kid brother and sister and talking to his mom and trying to tell her that it would be okay and the Glee club would help Sam and his siblings as much as we could while she and Sam's dad tried to find work." He shuddered with the aftershocks of the adrenaline still flooding his system and Wes hopped up to drape a blanket over him. Kurt smiled faintly as Wes re-took his seat in the corner.
"I never thought it would get so out of hand. They've been pestering me because they think I still have a crush on Sam, which is absurd because not only is he not gay, but I have you, and you're gorgeous and perfect and I'm not going to mess that up with someone who colours his hair with lemon juice." Kurt wrinkled his nose and Wes burst out laughing.
"Lemon juice? Really? That works?"
"I don't even know, that's just the story he told me when we went to Breadstix last year." Wes quietened his laughs into soft snorts and Blaine rolled his eyes at his friend's immaturity. "And they've been pestering Quinn and it's driving this huge wedge between her and Finn and then Finn and Rachel and it's getting so out of hand. It's not my place or Quinn's or anyone else's to basically out Sam's problems and he doesn't want to talk about it but no one will take my or Quinn's word that nothing is going on between either of us and Sam and the fact Rachel called you when I specifically told her that she was completely mental and wrong and to leave it alone…" Kurt sighed and fingers the blanket with his spare hand. "I should have known she'd never listen to me."
"She's just trying to look out for us," Blaine said, knowing it was a poor excuse for his meddling moron of a sister.
"She could try not planting damaging ideas in your head," Kurt reasoned. "Alternatively, you could have given me the benefit of the doubt and tried talking to me about it since the day she called rather than making me terrified with worry and drive out here and nearly run off the road at least six times."
"Kurt, you shouldn't drive while so upset," Wes frowned.
"Next time I call you and demand to speak to Blaine, you better damn well put him on," Kurt retorted sharply. Wes had the grace to look ashamed.
"And then you could have tried to actually listen to what I had to say before I became so overwhelmed that I was clutching at my throat and wondering why my lungs were being squashed by iron fingers."
"I'm so sorry," Blaine mumbled again.
Kurt rolled over and Wes felt like he was about to intrude on things far too private to witness and swiftly exited.
"Why didn't you talk to me after she called? Why didn't you take any of my calls when I called the other boys? Why didn't you listen to me when I hammered on your door?"
Blaine's eyes slipped closed as he breathed. "Because I was scared," he admitted, eyes opening when Kurt scoffed. "Kurt, you don't see yourself properly. You don't see yourself as you are." His hand reached up and traced Kurt's jaw. "You're truly one of the most beautiful people I've ever seen. To sound cliché, you have the voice of an angel. Your wit is incredible, your fashion sense is impeccable. You could have anyone you wanted and it terrifies me that you'll see that and find someone better."
"And you think someone that uses lemon juice to tint his hair is better?"
"I think anyone except the bullying jocks at McKinley is better, Kurt," Blaine whispered, eyes nervous. "I would do anything for you. I've spent so long not knowing what I was missing out on and then you went back to McKinley so suddenly and…I don't know. I'm insecure. I've lost people near and dear to me so many times that what's another person walking away? Maybe you didn't go back to McKinley because of financial troubles but because there was someone you wanted there more than me here…" Blaine shrugged and kept his eyes averted.
"Blaine Anderson, you need to stop thinking so little of me and my decisions and my feelings for you," Kurt said firmly.
"It's my feelings regarding everyone," Blaine acknowledged softly. "I'm adopted. I'm an adopted orphan and my parents were meth heads who blew themselves up because they tried being chemists in the kitchen. Rachel told me once she wanted to send me back. Actually, she told me more than once," Blaine mused, then shook his head. "I must have been through nearly a hundred homes before the Berry's took me in. I was with a new family every week, sometimes more than one family a week. And each time, I was undesirable."
Blaine's eyes shimmered and Kurt noticed a tear on Blaine's incredibly long eyelashes. "And then there's someone who's as amazing as you and it all feels so crazy and unreal. I know Rachel gets paranoid, I know that. I know I shouldn't listen to her but I did and I regret it, but it doesn't seem so impossible to me that you would cheat or have feelings for someone else. It doesn't seem so impossible that you would find someone better."
Kurt's eyes flickered over his face before kissing him, smooth and languid and deep and warm and sinfully good. He whined low in his throat and Kurt pulled away with a satisfied expression.
"Next time you think about me cheating or having feelings or finding someone better, you remember this. You remember this moment and this kiss and that I- And that I'm yours," Kurt finished, cheeks turning red. Blaine wondered if that's what Kurt had really wanted to say, and knew that he hadn't, but he wasn't going to press that point too fast.
"Do you see what I mean? You don't seem real. It doesn't seem possible that you'd choose me," Blaine whispered.
Kurt huffed, raising up on his elbow and nuzzling his nose against Blaine's. "I'm real. I'm here. And I chose you," he replied, lips meeting Blaine's again.
Blaine barely noticed the tears that escaped over the curve of his cheek as Kurt's tongue pressed insistently into his mouth. His oxygen became Kurt's oxygen as Kurt wriggled on top of him and he groaned, fingers digging into Kurt's hips as he held him close.
"Kurt," he breathed between kisses and Kurt smiled, hand stroking over Blaine's hair and kissing him again and again.
"Mine," Kurt returned, mouth moving softly over Blaine's neck. He froze when he felt Blaine's hands rub over his ass. "Blaine, what are you-?"
"Shh," Blaine hummed, nibbling at Kurt's jaw. He licked at the junction of Kurt's jaw and neck below his ear and Kurt moaned quietly.
"Blaine…"
"Can I take care of you, Kurt?" Blaine murmured as he sucked on Kurt's earlobe. "Please, Kurt."
Kurt whimpered, fingers curling in Blaine's hair as he placed kitten licks on Blaine's throat. He could feel Blaine's erection against his stomach and was equally aware of his own against Blaine's thigh. And he remembered what his father had once told him but God, he wanted, he wanted it so badly. He rocked his hips into Blaine and Blaine mewled, grabbing him closer and sucking a faint mark into his neck.
"Blaine…" Kurt said, low and warningly, and Blaine's chuckle turned into a gurgle when Kurt slipped a hand between them and palmed Blaine roughly through his jeans.
"Kurt…Kurt…" Blaine panted, arching into Kurt's hand and rubbing his thigh into Kurt's erection. It was messy and fumbly but oh God it felt so good as Kurt stopped thinking and just let himself feel. Blaine's neck was slick with sweat and Kurt felt the fire of need growing as he rutted harder into Blaine's leg and moved his hand over Blaine.
"Kurt…" Blaine trembled, muscles seizing briefly as he came. He kissed Kurt sloppily and squeezed Kurt's ass and then Kurt exploded and saw stars and fuck.
Kurt collapsed against Blaine's chest as he caught his breath, wrinkling his nose at how distinctly uncomfortable his pants had become.
"I didn't mean for that to happen today," Kurt muttered, nosing at Blaine's tee.
Blaine's hands drifted over his back lightly. "Do you regret it?"
Kurt shook his head and Blaine kissed the top of it. "Feel like I need a change of pants though."
"I probably have something," Blaine offered.
"I'm not wearing second-hand clothing!"
"It's not like it's terrible quality or anything," Blaine teased, sliding out from beneath Kurt and rifling through his drawers. "How about these?"
Kurt eyed the plain black skinny jeans and sighed. "Fine."
Blaine snorted and tossed the jeans and, blushing, a clean pair of boxers. Kurt flushed equally as dark.
"Um…I'll just…" He snatched up the clothing and darted into Blaine's bathroom.
Blaine grabbed his own pair of jeans and fresh boxers and changed into them while Kurt fussed in the bathroom. He balled up the fabric and tucked it into his clothing hamper to wash later.
He climbed back into his bed, trying not to think of what had happened, trying not to smell the sweat and the sex that lingered on the sheets. He heard the toilet flush and the bathroom door clicked open, Kurt stuffing his soiled clothes into a plastic bag and sliding onto the bed beside Blaine.
"Feel better?"
Kurt buried his face in Blaine's neck and Blaine laughed quietly as his arms wrapped around Kurt's body and held him close.
The concept of prom terrified him, but between Kurt's pleading and keeping an eye on Rachel, Jesse and Finn, he felt like he was boxed into a corner and agreed to go to appease his sister and…boyfriend? Was that what they were?
The gym was nicely decorated with balloons everywhere and Blaine tried to squash down his fears of drinks being spiked, homophobic attacks and his sister getting her heart broken in the middle of prom. He watched her singing her heart out to Finn and he caught the jealous looks of Jesse and Quinn. He saw the sweet smiles of Mercedes and Sam. He snorted when he saw Santana and Karofsky holding each other as delicately as they could.
"I told you it wouldn't be so bad," Kurt whispered, hand sliding into his. He forced a smile, still feeling uncomfortable and like an impending eruption was going to happen.
"I think I need to get up there and sing with Tina and Brittany," he said, squeezing Kurt's hand and slinking through the crowds towards the girls. He still didn't quite understand why Kurt had roped him into performing at Kurt's prom but he had a sneaking suspicion it had something to do with giving Blaine something to do and take his mind off his concerns.
And maybe Kurt was right, because being up on stage and performing lines with an actual band allowed him to release his tension and loosen up for the first time all night. The crowd loved is and he saw Kurt grinning at him and there was a bubble of pride for being given such an opportunity.
But then it soured. He knew it would. He'd been waiting all night. He saw that Sylvester woman hauling Finn and Jesse out by their jackets and Rachel staring after Quinn. Kurt grabbed his arm and insisted the girls needed some time because prom king and queen was about to be announced and Blaine shouldn't bother either of them right now.
He fought down the bile in his throat when Karofsky was announced prom king. He wondered if the school knew that he was secretly hiding being gay if they would still vote for him, and felt disgusted when figuring that they probably wouldn't. More than that though was the disappointment in the school for selecting someone with his bullying reputation. The school had consistently turned a blind eye to Kurt's injuries, not to mention countless other students on the ends of Karofsky's hands. His fingers wound around Kurt's wrist as Kurt stood motionless and drawn as his tormenter waved his victory and success in Kurt's face. Karofsky was everything Kurt wasn't – popular, gay and powerful. Blaine found himself thinking that if Kurt was bigger and more masculine if he could have stayed in the closet and been what Karofsky was. While he adored Kurt's lean, lithe body and found Karofsky borderline repulsive – and not because of how thoroughly he had hurt Kurt – he couldn't help considering that Karofsky's size and strength was what allowed him to stay so hidden.
He was temporarily blinded by the light falling on him. No, not him. On Kurt. He focused on what was going on and…oh God, what a joke. What a terrible, terrible, cruel and heartless joke. He heard Rachel stirring behind him and then Kurt was gone, running through the people and Blaine was after him.
"Kurt! Stop! Wait!"
Watching Kurt, listening to Kurt, made Blaine realise how much Kurt had grown and strengthened. He didn't know if it was because he had Blaine or the few blessed months at Dalton, but Kurt deciding to be coroneted and throwing it into his classmate's faces moved Blaine to tears. Or maybe that was because Kurt had been on his knees and it made Blaine thing of a time years in the future when they might get married.
Whoa, what?
Okay, inappropriate thoughts needed to stop, because he was staring at Rachel and she was staring at him as Kurt and Karofsky stepped off the stage to dance. He wanted to vomit at the idea that Karofsky's hands would be on Kurt and he saw Kurt's lips moving and then Karofsky was storming off. He stepped forward before he even knew he was doing it, holding out his hand to Kurt as he'd done so many times before.
"Excuse me, may I have this dance?"
Kurt was shaky and scared, examining the expressions on the faces around him. But Blaine held his hand steady and when Kurt took his hand, he thought his heart would burst with happiness, because this wasn't the same Kurt that he'd met on the staircase and held his hand to not that many months ago.
"I'm so proud of you," Blaine whispered, spinning Kurt in circles and making eyes with his sister to come and join them and ease the tension still thrumming through the room.
Eventually she got the hint and swirled onto the floor with Sam and Tina and some of the other New Directions kids and Blaine wriggled his fingers against Kurt's back because this was okay, this was fine, they could do this, it was okay. Kurt even relaxed enough to sing the song with him and get his photo taken and God, Blaine was so proud he thought he might cry.
He found Rachel as the night was winding down and spun her into a dance. She laughed and clutched at his arms.
"Not so bad a night?" she asked.
He smiled and kissed her forehead. "Not as bad as past dances I've been to, or nearly been to," he agreed.
She shot him a sad smile and pulled Kurt into an awkward three-way dance and he laughed as they kept tripping over their feet. Yeah, it hadn't been so bad at all.
Hearing Kurt regale him about his fantastical time in New York made Blaine wish he'd been there with him. It wasn't that he was jealous of New Directions winning at Regionals – he was happy to admit when his sister and her team had clearly been the better choice – but just that it felt like something he would have loved to have shared with Kurt. And Kurt was so at ease, talking about performing on the Wicked stage at the Gershwin and how Blaine would have paid to see that performance! Of course, it was entirely unprofessional of Rachel and Finn to kiss on stage and he had already had words with his sister such as "Have you never even readthe competition rules?" to which she had huffily avoided the question, her way of saying no.
And Blaine watched the way Kurt's face moved and he smiled and talked and he felt a warmth in his stomach that reminded him of when Leroy used to tuck him in and whisper that he was loved and it slipped out before he could stop himself.
Kurt froze, coffee cup at his lips as he stared, wide-eyed and mute. He forced himself to swallow and gave a nervous smile. "I love you too."
And it was the first time he'd ever loved anyone, loved anyone like the way he loved Kurt, and Kurt felt the same and it felt so ridiculous that he wanted to break down and cry but he just wanted to hold Kurt and thank him, because Kurt loved him.
Sam and Mercedes had been a welcome distraction, and Blaine had sent a raised eyebrow at Kurt who shrugged. "She barely talks to me anymore," Kurt admitted, fiddling with the lid of his cup. "I don't think she could handle me transferring as well as some people."
"That's not your fault though."
"I know," Kurt said, gazing at where Mercedes was laughing with Sam. "But she used to be one of my best friends and now it's like we don't know each other. I feel like I've lost everyone who used to care about me the past couple of years."
Blaine leaned forward in his chair. "You still have me," he smiled. "And Rach adores you. I know Nick and Jeff and Wes like you. Thad had accepted you, probably because you've stopped rocking the boat on his decisions."
Kurt giggled. "I hope they continue to try new things next year."
Blaine hummed his agreement. "Shall we leave?"
"We shall," Kurt nodded, disposing of his cup and sliding his fingers loosely through Blaine's. "Is it too soon to say I love you again?"
Blaine felt the burn of tears and blinked them away as quickly as he could. "Not when I will gladly say I love you too again."
Kurt grinned and they slid into his car. "I won't tire of hearing that."
Blaine squeezed his hand before releasing it so Kurt could drive. "I won't either."
Summer came swiftly and brought with it one of the best holidays Blaine had had in a while. He split his time between things with Kurt and Rachel and the occasional Warbler event, and was constantly amazed at how much had changed in a year. Twelve months ago, he used to notice the pale skin and dark circles beneath Kurt's eyes but not feel like he could approach Kurt with his concerns. This year, he'd grown several inches and his confidence had blossomed and he snuggled into bed with Blaine when they were in Blaine's bedroom. The change was truly phenomenal and Blaine realised he wouldn't change the past year for anything in the world, even though it included Kurt's father having a heart attack and being forced into transferring schools.
Kurt shared some of his memories of his mother, showing Blaine old photos in a yellowed album. His fingers trailed over the woman that was only an indistinct memory and through Kurt's stories, felt like he knew Elizabeth Hummel as if he'd met her more than a handful of times when she picked up Kurt from playdates.
But a feeling nagged at Blaine that Kurt had pictures where Blaine didn't, and he had no idea how to get them. He tried searching online but there weren't any records of either of them or even their deaths. He was sure he'd always been Blaine Anderson but Anderson proved to be an incredibly common name and he didn't really know where he'd been based when he lived with them. There were so many huge holes in his life story and yet he didn't feel like he could ask his fathers about Carla and Jack and maybe try chasing them down. He hadn't had to deal with CPS or anything in years since he'd settled in so well with the Berry's and his head honestly hurt with all the conflicting thoughts of if he wanted to know and remember, or if he'd prefer to forget.
Kurt picked up on his anxieties but didn't press for explanations, calmly holding Blaine when he cried and kissing away his tears. He whispered his words of love over Blaine's skin until Blaine calmed and felt bits of his soul stitch back together with the love that Kurt so freely gave.
Some parts of the holidays weren't so great though. Rachel had walked in on them making out a few times and ran from the room screaming loud enough to be heard in Toronto, Blaine was certain. Thankfully, she'd never seen more than them rubbing through clothes but it was enough for Hiram to pull him aside and remind him about safety and if Blaine ever needed a word with them about dynamics, then he only needed to ask. Gagging on the thoughts in his head, Blaine had refused to talk to Rachel for two days and instead took Kurt to the Lima Bean and the park, hardly expecting Kurt to be so overjoyed at jumping on a swing and refusing to get off for at least an hour.
Occasionally, Kurt would mention the idea of Blaine transferring to McKinley but he steadfastly refused, because he had never wanted to attend public school again and he didn't want to deal with Rachel and her solo-hogging. Except then Rachel overheard the two of them discussing it and thought it was simply a fabulous idea because Blaine harmonised so much better with her voice than Finn and oh please, couldn't he transfer for her?
It was almost enough to make Kurt stop, because it became so sickeningly annoying to hear from his sister every other breath that he would make such an outstanding contribution to the Glee club and they really needed a more masculine voice that could actually hold the notes and his fingers itched with the desire to rip her vocal cords free of her throat. Several times, he found himself sitting on his hands and not even remembering when in Rachel's tirade he put them there.
And then summer started to draw to a close and Blaine found himself disappointed at how fast it had gone by. Kurt was planning on going to New York in a year and it seemed so far away and yet so much had happened in the past year that he knew it was going to rush by before he regained his equilibrium from the disappearance of summer.
The transfer of Sam to Kentucky and Lauren deciding Glee club wasn't cool enough and Quinn's radical transformation over the holidays meant New Directions was in trouble with member numbers and Blaine was literally bombarded with dozens of text messages from Rachel every day. He'd tried turning off his phone except if he missed replying to Kurt, Kurt got anxious and started sending more texts and Blaine really didn't want a repeat of the panic attack from last year, although he'd gladly repeat what happened afterwards. He met with Kurt for coffee on Wednesday and then went home, needing to talk to one of his dads about all of this pressure that was being put on him.
"Blaine?"
"Hey Dad," he smiled, hugging Leroy and subtly smelling him. It sounded way creepier than it actually was. Since Blaine couldn't remember the smell of his own parents, he tried to make a point of really paying attention to what everyone he was close to smelled like.
"Something wrong?" Leroy asked, heading into the kitchen where work papers were strewn over the table.
"Why does anything have to be wrong?"
"You're here on a weekday and your face is an open book," his dad said pointedly. He flushed and took a seat while Leroy fetched a glass of water.
"I'm considering transferring to McKinley," Blaine said finally when his father had finished drinking and swallowed and wasn't in any danger of choking.
"Hmm…" Leroy took a seat and shuffled some papers around so he could rest his chin in his palms. "I would hope this isn't because you've found yourself a boy."
Blaine bit his lip as he looked at his hands on the table. "It is, partly," he admitted. He needed to figure this all out in his head and he knew his father would listen. "But it's also about helping their Glee club which is struggling. It's about being closer to Rachel and being here more because Dalton was a refuge when I was a terrified little boy but now I'm halfway through being a teenager and I sort of miss being at home, while most kids are probably desperate to get away."
He sifted through his thoughts and tried to put them into words. "I feel…I feel so cut off from you at Dalton. It's like I'm adopted but I'm not really part of a family, because I'm sequestered away and I know that's what I wanted, I know, but sometimes your needs change." He rubbed his forehead and shrugged. "It's not just about Kurt. I'm not really happy at Dalton anymore. It's difficult and challenging and it doesn't feel rewarding to constantly be striving for better in a place so competitive. At times, it's depressing, because I feel like everyone has such a determined mindset of needing to be the best and that's not why I ever went to Dalton, that's not the environment I want or need."
He fiddled with the buttons on his blazer. "And I'll miss Nick and Thad and David and Jon and Trent but it's not really the same without Wes there now. He was my best friend before Kurt arrived and everything just kind of feels hollow now that he's not there." He bit at his lip and sighed. "I don't know, Dad. I'm just not really happy there anymore. It's still supportive and wonderful but it doesn't feel real. It's not nurturing me the way I want."
Leroy nodded as he steepled his fingers in front of him. "And you think you would be happier returning to a public school with your sister?"
"I don't know," Blaine frowned. "I don't know where I'd be happiest. But I know my attitude to Dalton isn't likely to ease or improve. It'll just spiral downwards. McKinley can't make it any worse when my boyfriend and sister will be there."
Leroy hummed as he started twirling a pen between his fingers. "I will always support you and your decisions, Blaine, you know that. If you feel that the environment isn't suitable to your current feelings, then the last thing I want is you to fall into a depressed heap and we have a whole host of other issues on our hands further down the track." He put the pen down and stared at Blaine. "However, I don't want you transferring to McKinley because you think it will be easier academically or for you to move back here and rebel against the very few rules Hiram and I have for you and your sister."
Blaine felt like one of those bobble-headed dogs that you put on a car dashboard with how much his head was nodding.
"You are an intelligent young man, Blaine," Leroy said suddenly, reaching across the table and touching Blaine's hand. "You've always been more insightful and notice things many of us prefer to ignore. It's why I've always trusted your judgement better than Rachel's. Although don't tell her that."
Blaine smiled and his father squeezed his hand and then pulled it back.
"I'll talk to your papa about it," he conceded finally. "If he agrees with me, then we will organise the paperwork for your transfer."
If Blaine was more like his sister, he may have squealed. Indeed, if he was more like Kurt he may have bounced excitedly in his seat. Instead he grinned and kissed his father's cheek, skipping away from the house and driving back to Dalton feeling relieved and a little bit hopeful that maybe he could still make Kurt's year magical.
A/N: If you're interested in hearing the cover of You're My Best Friend by Queen, search for the a capella group 'Straight No Chaser' and go to their website (smcmusic) and find it. It's truly incredible.
I know this chapter was really jumpy and long and covered a lot of content but I hope you still enjoyed it. As always, thank you for reading. I'm truly blessed! xx