Title: A Sibling By Any Other Name
Author: an-alternate-world
Rating: M (starts mild, rating will go up in future chapters)
Characters/Pairings: Blaine/Kurt
Word count: 7,829
Summary: When Blaine is forced into finding a new family, he never expected to meet the people he did. He never expected his life to turn out this way. He never expected to fall so hopelessly in love so early in life. He never expected any of this. AnderBerry siblings, eventual Klaine.
Warnings/Spoilers: A vague re-writing of canon Glee, but there are some huge differences, which you'll see as you go along. Angst, fluff, a little bit of smut.
Disclaimer: I am in no way associated with Glee, FOX, Ryan Murphy or anything else related to the Glee universe.
Striding down the hallways and finding Kurt spraying his hair was delightfully fun, even if Kurt didn't actually pick up that he'd transferred until he basically waved it in Kurt's face because hello, he was wearing his favourite bowtie and loafers and was Kurt really that blind?
Telling his sister on the other hand would have to have led to permanent tinnitus. Her screams had to have reached New York and shattered any glass in a three hundred foot radius, surely.
"Why the hell didn't you tell me?" she shrieked as she shook him by the shoulders.
"Surprise?" he said, smiling weakly.
"You are ridiculous," she scoffed, turning away and returning to the lunch table beside Finn.
"So you aren't mad?" he said, sidling over and tucking his arm around Kurt's waist.
"Mad?" She stared him up and down and wrinkled her nose at his pants. "You could have done without the red."
"You could have done without the lime green," he returned, deciding that Kurt and he really had to burn some of Rachel's more hideously coloured outfits.
"It brings out my eyes," she said, patting her hair and cuddling into Finn's body.
"It brings out your jaundice," Kurt said quietly. Blaine snorted and Rachel glared.
"Alright, fine. Shoo! I've had enough of you already."
Kurt rolled his eyes and tugged Blaine away to show him parts of the school.
Blaine never thought that the thing that would force him and Kurt to re-evaluate their relationship would be the school musical of all things. Blaine was well aware that Kurt needed the role of Tony for his NYADA application and yet Artie asking him to read for the part…he felt so guilty and yet he did it anyway. And when he got outside and Kurt wasn't waiting for him, he knew Kurt must have heard and gone home to avoid seeing him. The guilt ate away at his heart because it didn't seem right or fair for Kurt to be turned down for things that he worked so hard for, that he deserved and needed.
He shuffled into his room and dropped his bag by the door and climbed onto his bed with a sigh. It all felt like too much, that maybe he shouldn't have transferred. Kurt would grow to resent him because Blaine was someone Kurt had to compete with for solos, leads and Rachel's attention at school. Several times, Rachel had sat beside Blaine which caused Kurt to sit elsewhere in the choir room. She monopolised his time at home, excitedly discussing solos where he could back her up or duets they could sing together, going over choreography until Blaine's legs wobbled with exhaustion. And it just felt like too much. It felt like he'd made the wrong choice and what happened if he and Kurt broke up? How would he handle being in Glee with the boy that had stolen his heart before Blaine even realised it? How would he manage seeing Kurt around the school or when he came over with Finn?
He sobbed into his pillow until his body drooped and he fell into a horrible sleep filled with monsters and shadows that sounded like Kurt but said the words of his mother.
"Kurt…" He stared down at the flowers and couldn't help smelling them. Once again, it felt too much, but for an entirely different reason. He could feel tears burning in his eyes and all he wanted to do was kiss him, hug him, hold onto him and reassure himself that they would be okay. But he knew Kurt still felt a bit uncomfortable and Blaine was secretly terrified of some sort of repeat of attacks on them from the other football players, even though Karofsky was gone.
He grabbed for Kurt's hand and led him to the abandoned choir room, finding the blind spot between the two doors and pushing Kurt into the whiteboard as he kissed him.
"I love you," he breathed, kissing softly at Kurt's neck. "I love you and I'm so sorry and I didn't want your role."
Kurt's fingers curled into the fabric at his hip and nuzzled his face up until their eyes met. "I know you're the better choice. It's okay. I don't hate you for it." His lips pressed gently into Blaine's cheek as he continued to slide his nose over Blaine's face. "I want you to make me happy. I want you to make me proud, because I know you're going to be stunning and everything I wish I could have been in the role."
"Kurt…"
"Shh…" Kurt whispered, index finger falling across his mouth. "Don't be sorry, okay? Kill it. Stand beside Rachel and show the audience that the two of you were made for the stage."
Blaine eyed him nervously before nodding. He wiggled his lips against Kurt's finger until it fell away and kissed Kurt's nose.
"I love you," he murmured, eyes glittering with the tears he wouldn't let fall.
"And I love you," Kurt replied, lips meeting Blaine's in a kiss that made Blaine feel silly for all the tears he cried the day before.
Blaine liked Rory. Maybe it was because he'd always had this thing about Irish accents or maybe it was because Rory was so quietly unassuming and bright-eyed or maybe it was because Blaine couldn't understand half of what he said but he was just amused by his accent. But the introduction of Rory to the Glee club meant the departure of Santana, Brittany and Mercedes and Blaine was getting more and more crap from Finn, which he couldn't understand no matter how much he tried. He'd asked Kurt about it and Kurt had shrugged, saying something about Finn being jealous of the time Blaine spent with Rachel. Well, Rachel was his sister so Finn needed to sort that one out in his head.
But he knew that Kurt was sad that Mercedes had abandoned them. He could see Artie was sad Brittany was gone. It made him sad that no one was sad Santana had left. The dynamics were now off because of the imbalance with male and female vocalists and even though Kurt could mix between the two, he could see the annoyance on Rachel's face that her Glee club was falling apart in her senior year.
To add to everything, the musical was opening in a couple of weeks and Rachel was so focused on Glee club that she kept forgetting to practice her lines, which Artie would criticise her harshly for. Emma often had to reign him in and Blaine knew it was because he missed Brittany but he knew it still stung Rachel. It was easily the most awkward moment of Blaine's life to stand beside his sister and be asked if he'd had sex yet. He stared at Rachel and she stared back and while part of him was glad she was still a virgin, another part was sure that she must have lost it to Finn or Puck a while ago with all the constant relationship jumping that happened in New Directions. And sure, he and Kurt had fooled around a little – touching on top of each other's clothing and stuff – but actual nakedness? Blaine was pretty sure Kurt would shrivel up into a crusty ball of shame if he even suggested it.
Which was why he paused to stare at Kurt when he was kicking his feet on Blaine's bed and asking about ripping each other's clothes off and oh God he could not afford to get hard in these pants because it would hurt but Kurt was really not helping his train of thought.
Which was why he spat out a line about masturbating. Over Kurt.
And Kurt didn't flush at the thought of it.
He crawled onto his bed and started mentally figuring out how to unbutton Kurt's coat thing, how to unzip his pants, how to push him onto the bed and see him naked and raw and open and writhing. His stomach squirmed with excitement as he grabbed Kurt's face, pressing their lips together and tipping Kurt onto his back into the mattress.
"I love you," he whispered, fingers picking at the buttons on Kurt's clothing. "I love you and I want you, so badly."
Kurt whimpered and his fingers flew over the buttons as he discarded items of clothing and pulled Blaine's shirt over his head. His nails scraped down Blaine's chest as Blaine's mouth licked and sucked down Kurt's neck and his rapidly hardening erection painfully dug into his pants and Kurt's thigh.
"Blaine," Kurt whined, arching into Blaine's body when his tongue slid over one of Kurt's nipples. Blaine watched as Kurt wriggled beneath him and his palm pressed into the various obvious bulge in Kurt's own pants. "Blaine, please."
"Please what?" Blaine paused, eyeing Kurt nervously.
"I need you, I need this, please," Kurt moaned, fingers clawing at his belt and shoving his pants off roughly.
"K-Kurt," Blaine choked, eyes unable to move from the dark flush of Kurt's cock bending towards his bellybutton and Jesus. He swallowed down the saliva pooled in his mouth as it drifted to lick a hot stripe along Kurt's dick.
"Fuck," Kurt screeched, hands fisting into the sheets he was laying on. "Fuck, God, Blaine."
"Shh," Blaine mumbled, running through all the things he'd read about this. His hand started touching before his brain had caught up and Kurt was mewling with desperation as Blaine settled his forearm over Kurt's stomach and lowered his mouth. He collected the pre-come along the slit first, eyes flickering up to Kurt when he felt his body jolting against the bed.
He breathed slowly and deeply before opening his mouth wide and sinking down, leaving a trail of shiny, warm saliva that cooled quickly when he bobbed back up. Kurt was muttering incoherent nonsense as Blaine lowered himself down again, taking his time to run his tongue across the skin that was so smooth and so delicate and yet so dark and so delicious that Blaine found a hasty rhythm that allowed him to rut down into the bed to get some much-needed friction of his own. He could hear Kurt, his gasps and pleas, a set of fingers sliding into the gel of Blaine's hair and twisting hard.
"Blaine, I…I'm…"
Blaine nodded. He wanted this, he wanted Kurt, and he forced his own rocking to stop as he sucked and swallowed until Kurt was burying his face in his arm and screaming, and the flood of warm, salty liquid across Blaine's tongue and hitting the back of his throat was sort of unpleasant and yet remarkably perfect as he swallowed and licked up every drop he could. He was still achingly hard when Kurt pushed him away from oversensitivity and his fingers slipped beneath the band of his pants and boxers, wrapping around himself and jerking quickly and roughly until he sobbed with relief, body quivering with the release it had been so desperate for.
Kurt petted his sweaty shoulder until he shifted up the bed and kissed him. And Kurt moaned, tongue tasting the come that Blaine had swallowed and finding it such a dirty turn-on as his hand clenched into Blaine's curls.
"I love you," he breathed, eyes so clear with bliss.
"I love you," Blaine replied huskily, hand sliding over the smooth skin on Kurt's hip as he cuddled him close. He knew they couldn't stay like this long. Who knew when Rachel might come home from her date with Finn and barge in? But for now, for now he wanted to bask and nuzzle into Kurt's neck and feel warm with love.
Blaine had always been happy with Kurt, even before he knew that Kurt was also Eliza or before he knew that he loved Kurt or before he even really knew Kurt, he was happy. His happiness was tied with Kurt's smiles and Kurt's touches and Kurt's warmth.
But being back at Dalton, seeing familiar faces who gave him a wave, reminded Blaine of what he had left behind in favour of…what? Kurt? Rachel? It all seemed so silly now that New Directions was sliding apart and Finn seemed to have something against everything Blaine said. And yet he strode through the halls and felt detached, like he didn't belong even after only being away little more than a month. It felt strange, walking down the staircase where Kurt stopped him and he had the creeping feeling of déjà vu, like someone was going to pause him on the staircase again and this time ask if Blaine himself was lost.
Yet no one did and Blaine soon heard what sounded like Nick's voice so he shoved his hands in his pockets and walked through the halls until, yes, there they were, his beloved Warblers.
Except they were back to their old songs, where mostly one person sang lead and they did little shuffles and while Blaine was proud of Nick and Thad and whoever the new guy was that took several lines, it felt like they'd returned back to basics rather than pushing the limits of their abilities. What Kurt wouldn't give to hear about this later on.
He congratulated the boys when they finished, so intensely proud of Nick as he talked about how McKinley was going – completely skipping over the Glee club drama and Finn because he knew there would either be injured faces or injured hands if he did – before they dispersed and he was left alone with the new guy, who apparently was called Sebastian and invited him to coffee and Blaine felt increasingly uncomfortable the longer he sat opposite Sebastian and his twisted ways with words. And really, no matter what he might have said, Blaine was happy with Kurt, he really and truly was. Sebastian leaving was a blessing that made Blaine sag with relief, even as he stared at the marble flooring and wondered who the hell this guy was and what sort of trouble he was going to cause.
Rachel's weird avoidance of him outside of rehearsals intensified after the night at Scandals with Kurt. It hadn't been a good idea to drink the night before opening. It hadn't been a good idea for Kurt to agree to go. It hadn't been a good idea to meet Sebastian for coffee, even though it was a subtle way of getting Sebastian into public and making sure he knew Blaine wasn't interested in him and Kurt arriving was a 'merrily happy coincidence' even though Sebastian hadn't seemed to get the message. Again. And Blaine hadn't had much to drink, although he had forgotten how much he'd had and how much of a lightweight he was and how much he'd promised himself he'd never drink again after that damn Warbler party two years ago. He'd fumbled to call Rachel and she'd picked him up, screaming in rage about missing lines during the performance from exhaustion.
He didn't even care as he stared out the window with tears in his eyes, wondering if this time he'd truly messed up with Kurt. He knew it wasn't the right time or the right situation but the show opened in less than twenty hours and he was terrified that Artie's words would make it so obvious on stage that he and Rachel were both still virgins. He knew he was going to fail Artie. He was going to fail his sister. He'd made her drive out to Westerville to pick his drunk ass up. He should have just called Nick and crashed at Dalton for the night, which would have made far more sense.
Knowing that Rachel had failed Artie's 'mission' only made Blaine feel partially better, although he also felt he was getting far too much information on his sister's sex life – or lack thereof – that he really didn't want to know about. He could see Kurt in the wings but any time their eyes met, Kurt looked away and Blaine's heart slipped further and further towards his feet. He stumbled over lines, he missed cues, he messed up choreography and he endured Rachel's withering glare while trying not to break down in tears on-stage. He waited until the curtains closed before he rushed off-stage, running out the backstage door and slumping to the floor and sobbing with the pain of a broken heart and a broken performance.
He realised after ten minutes that he probably shouldn't be outside in case they locked up and his things got left behind for the night, so he darted back inside, accepting the congratulations with a weak smile as he stripped the costume off and pulled on his capris and a sweater. Rachel had already left, as had many of the other cast, to go to the Breadstix celebrations but he wanted to perfect some of the blocking he had so badly failed at tonight, because he worried Rachel would slap him if he got it wrong again.
He should have known Kurt would hang around, although he didn't expect it after the way Kurt had avoided him all day. He desperately wanted to take Kurt into his arms but all he could do was stammer his way through an apology and try and prove to Kurt that Sebastian hadn't taken the hint, that he'd been wrong, again, and somewhere Blaine wondered if he could be considered an abusive boyfriend for the amount of times he lost his temper and then apologised. Wasn't that the sign of emotional abuse or something? But Kurt didn't seem fazed as he pressed his lips to Blaine's over and over.
"I love you," Kurt murmured, hand brushing over Blaine's cheek. "I love you and I told you to make me proud and you did. I know you want to beat yourself up over all the little things you got wrong but you were amazing out there. You were the perfect choice, the perfect Tony, and I can't believe you're actually mine."
Blaine sniffed back his tears as Kurt's forehead leant against his own.
"I didn't want it in the backseat of a car when you were drunk. I didn't want it in the backseat of a car in the first place," Kurt admitted. "But I'm ready now. I'm ready. And I want you so much. I need you so badly. Please, can we go back to your house? Rachel's going to mine to see Finn after the game and I just…just please, Blaine?"
There was a time Blaine had realised he couldn't deny Kurt anything, and this was just another example in what he presumed was going to be a long list of times he couldn't deny Kurt things.
His stomach knotted with anxiety on the short drive home and it all felt so strange and mundane as he locked the car and led Kurt into the house, toeing off his shoes and tugging Kurt up the staircase.
"Are you sure?" he asked, shutting his bedroom door as Kurt wandered inside.
"Please," Kurt said softly, flicking the buttons until his vest slipped to the floor. "I love you."
Blaine trembled as he eased Kurt onto the bed, crawling over him and pressing kisses up his exposed arm. "You're beautiful," he muttered, fingers inching beneath the fabric of Kurt's tee and pulling it over his head to expose the pale, soft skin of Kurt's chest. "No, you're magnificent," he amended.
Kurt giggled and helped Blaine get out of his sweater and singlet, fingers drifting over Blaine's chest as their mouths met in sweet kisses that gradually turned hungrier, needier, until Kurt's hands worked beneath the band of his pants and over the skin of his ass.
"You're totally sure?" he checked again, nervous and exhilarated as Kurt nodded.
Another few minutes found them naked and pressed against each other, warmth tangling their limbs as Kurt's toes floated over Blaine's leg and making him squeak with laughter.
"That tickles," he scolded with a smile. Kurt grinned as he squeezed Blaine's ass, making his eyes roll in his head and a groan fall from his lips. "God, Kurt…"
Kurt sucked a small mark beneath his ear as he writhed, rutting slowly into Kurt's body.
"I don't…I don't know who's…" He trailed off, blushing.
"It's okay," Kurt assured him, reaching over for a bottle and a foil packet Blaine hadn't seen there before. When had Kurt put that there? "Do you know what you'd prefer?"
Blaine shook his head. He had no idea.
"Do you trust me?" Kurt questioned, flicking the cap off the bottle. Blaine focused on the dark blue eyes of Kurt as he nodded.
Kurt's cool, slick fingers pressing at his entrance sent a thrill down his spine. This was happening. This was actually happening. And even though he was going to bottom, he was on top, and Kurt was both in control and giving him control. It sparked in his stomach as Kurt prepped him gently and carefully and thoroughly, until he was sobbing with need and desire.
"Kurt, please," he whined, rolling his hips down onto Kurt's fingers. "Kurt, fuck, Kurt."
"Shhh…" Kurt soothed, swiping his free index finger through the sweat covering Blaine's chest. His hand closed over the foil packet and he ripped it open with his teeth, taking the latex and rolling it down and fuckkk, that felt good. He forgot what he was doing for a few moments until Blaine pushed Kurt's hands away and coated his covered dick in fresh lube until Kurt was whimpering with his own desperation.
"Shhh…" Blaine mocked, positioning Kurt and lowering himself gingerly, fingers digging into Kurt's upper arms painfully until he was seated in Kurt's lap and panting hard. "Jesus, fuck."
Kurt closed his eyes for a moment, trying to still his rapid heartbeat and breathing and thoughts as Blaine adjusted to the stretch, the burn easing as he rocked back and forth slowly, slowly, slowly.
"I love you," he whispered, fingers looping through Kurt's un-lubed hand as his hips moved.
"Love you," Kurt breathed, stomach quivering with the intensity of all the feelings and the instinct to thrust up, up, up.
It took a few minutes for Blaine to fully adjust, until he was ready to push back when Kurt pushed in, a rhythm gradually becoming more steady as his thighs started to ache with the exertion. His mouth found Kurt's, sloppy and messy until he was moaning loudly because Kurt's lubed fingers had wrapped around his cock, and fuck, fuck.
"Kurt, Kurt, I…"
His back bowed and the tendons in his neck stood out sharply and the sweat dripped down to mingle with Kurt's as he came, tears of relief and love and joy slipping from his eyes as Kurt's thrusting became frantic and unsteady and he snapped, body shaking hard and choking on Blaine's name as he saw stars.
When it became too much, Blaine shifted off, feeling like he'd never be that full again. He grabbed some tissues from the side of his bed, wiping Kurt clean and disposing of the condom until he snuggled into the bed beside Kurt. And Kurt smiled happily, kissing him in a manner Blaine supposed was lovingly, legs and arms mixing and becoming complicated as Blaine pulled the blanket over them and fell into an exhausted but extremely satisfied sleep.
It always amazed Blaine how everything seemed to explode at the same time. Sebastian was constantly sending him lewd messages, Rachel was ignoring him, Finn had now outed Santana so Kurt wasn't speaking to his step-brother, and the campaign for senior class president wasn't going so well. And then everything exploded. Kurt found some of Sebastian's texts and ripped him apart before Glee, Rachel launched into him on the way home that she'd spoken to Sebastian and heard some of the things Blaine had gotten up to at Dalton - "I mean, it's no wonder you wanted to leave when you'd slept with so many people" – and Santana was destroying people with her self-hatred. Enough was enough. He needed to start fixing things.
He knew Kurt's schedule inside out which meant that Kurt was deliberately avoiding him when they hadn't crossed paths for two days. Fed up with the silent treatment, he cornered Kurt after Glee rehearsals.
"What, Blaine?" Kurt said exasperatedly.
"Whatever you think is happening is wrong. There's nothing happening with Sebastian, Kurt. Nothing. You can check my outgoing messages telling him to stop if you don't believe me."
Kurt stared him down before his icy expression dissolved with a sigh. "I didn't want to believe it but Rachel told me stories and-"
"Did she also mention those stories came from Sebastian?" Blaine interrupted. The slight widening of Kurt's eyes indicated that no, she hadn't. "He's manipulative. He's trying to come between me and everyone else I love probably so that he's the only one I have left to turn to. But he underestimates how much I'll fight for you all, how much I would never in a million years turn to him even if he was the only person left in the world. I love you, Kurt. I love you, not him. And this avoidance thing is killing me and if you want to break up-"
He was swiftly silenced by Kurt's lips fiercely meeting his, desperate and rough and making him chase after Kurt's mouth when he pulled away.
"I love you too," Kurt breathed, nosing the collar of Blaine's shirt and inhaling deeply against his neck. "I didn't want to believe any of it, I just got so scared."
"I know," Blaine soothed, hand running over Kurt's back. "I know. It's how I felt last year with the Sam thing."
Kurt nodded and gripped the back of Blaine's shirt as he held him.
"I love you," Kurt said.
"Love you too," Blaine replied, a whisper against Kurt's ear.
Confronting Rachel was harder than Kurt had been, because she seemed to be spending more and more time out of the house with Finn. Finally he waited up in her bedroom until he heard her arrive home around eleven and waited a little longer to hear her creeping up the stairs.
"You missed curfew," he said when she entered the room.
She muffled a shriek behind her hand. "Blaine. What are you doing in my room?"
"Waiting for you," he said, watching as she unbuttoned her coat and hung it back up in her wardrobe.
"Why?" she said, unwinding her scarf and replacing her boots on her shoe rack.
"Because you're avoiding me and I know why and enough is enough," he said, crossing his arms to stare at her. "Sebastian is a lying pig and I never slept around at Dalton."
"He gave me names, Blaine. Names," she said, searching her dressing table for something. "He gave me details of what you'd done! How can you deny it when there's such proof!"
She threw a piece of paper at him and he fell off the bed trying to catch it. He rubbed his shoulder and looked at the piece of paper before bursting into laughter.
"Why are you laughing? This is serious!" she hissed. "And you'll wake our parents!"
He bit his hand to stifle his giggles. "Okay, this name? This is the full name of a guy I texted you about, that you'd know as Charlie?" Rachel blinked and sat down on her stool. "He's the guy that had PTSD. You couldn't touch him before he started screaming, so there's no way I ever slept with him."
"He's not the only name-"
"And this one, Wes? He was my best friend at Dalton. He took care of me once when I got so drunk I probably almost had alcohol poisoning. Wes kept me safe, Wes looked out for me. Wes also has had the same girlfriend for three years and is very much in love with her. The last time I heard from him, they were living together off-campus at college."
"But-"
"Okay, so then there's Jeff and Nick, who drift back and forth between each other and a Crawford girl every few months, but I've never been interested in getting between them and their flings and bisexual problems."
"And-"
"I don't think Trent's ever come out so how Sebastian even got a hold of this story I wouldn't even know."
"Blaine-"
"And this one I don't know how he got hold of either although I suppose there's a small grain of truth in it. I did kiss Michael back when I was a freshman. One of the boys had a party, the one Wes looked after me at, and I was trying to figure myself out because Kurt had just come out, and yeah, I made out with a guy and his name was Michael." His fingers clenched around the paper and balled it up in his fist. "If I hadn't been so drunk and thrown up into the sink and Wes showed up…" He threw the crumbled paper at Rachel's bin and sighed. "Wes told me later, much later, after Michael had graduated, that Michael had barely touched a drink all night. Wes had followed me to the kitchen because he knew how drunk I was and he didn't want me to choke on my own vomit or pass out or cut myself and no one was around. He…he watched as Michael pushed me down and…" Blaine glanced up at Rachel, tears slipping down his cheeks. "I never told anyone. I've never even told Kurt. Wes said he was about to intervene when I started gagging and moved. He knew I was too drunk to give proper consent and M-Michael had a reputation that Wes had heard rumours about a-and he didn't want me to…to…"
He couldn't say it, he never had been, ever since Wes had told him. He choked on a sob as Rachel crawled onto her mattress and pulled him into a hug, his face on her shoulder as he cried. He could hear her sniffles, he could feel her chest shaking with her own sobs, but she held him firmly, running her hands through his curls gently.
"I told Kurt…I told him that I was a virgin. You heard me tell Artie, and it's true, Rach, it's true," he whispered, wiping his eyes and sitting up straighter to look at her. "I've kissed people. I've made mistakes. But you've kissed people too and made your own mistakes. It doesn't mean you've slept around. It doesn't mean you're a whore. And it hasn't made you leave your school, and it's not why I left mine."
"Blaine-"
"You need to stop being so goddamn naïve, Rach. You need to stop believing everything you hear and actually talk to the people involved and find out what the truth it. Didn't your Glee club do a week on rumours last year?"
She nodded and smeared her tears away roughly. "I'm sorry I didn't listen. I'm sorry I judged you. I was wrong."
"Yeah, you were," he agreed, brushing the tears off her cheekbones.
She punched his shoulder lightly and he smiled.
"We cool now? No more believing the worst in your little bro all the time?" he teased.
She nodded and wrapped her arms around his neck again. "I wish I knew Michael and could punch his nose in."
He chuckled against her. "I wish I'd been more coherent and knew what he was doing and punched his nose in myself."
Sometimes Blaine just wanted to grab Santana by her neck and shake her around a little. He would never understand why she was so determined to tear everybody down with her words all the time. He squeezed Kurt's hand and wondered if Santana's need to destroy everyone was because she was falling apart on the inside. He remembered what it was like trying to figure himself out. He remembered the fear of coming out and what everyone might say around him. He remembered and he knew Kurt remembered. And maybe they hadn't lashed out as badly as Santana tended to do, and everyone had their own way of handling a sexuality crisis, but Santana's apparent craving for causing self-destruction was exhausting and it made Blaine's heart hurt at how everyone tried and she tore them down.
Kurt running into him in the middle of the corridors, sobbing so hard Blaine could tell he wasn't breathing properly, had Blaine panicking as he hauled Kurt in the direction of the choir room. Had Karofsky done something? Had someone died? Was Burt back in the hospital? Azimio had graduated, hadn't he? Kurt was meant to be safe, what if he was hurt?
He eased Kurt into a chair and knelt in front of him, tearing Kurt's hands from his face and clutching them tightly between his own.
"Kurt, what's going on? What's happened?"
Kurt whimpered and Blaine felt himself twitching anxiously.
"Kurt, please."
"I lost," Kurt wailed through his crying. "I lost the election which means my hopes of admission to NYADA are completely screwed." He shoved Blaine away to stand, pacing around the choir room and holding his arms over his stomach. "I don't know why I even bother anymore. I'm such a failure. I'm good for nothing and I should have let Karofsky kill me or killed myself and-"
"Hey," Blaine yelled, walking over to Kurt and grabbing his shoulders. "Don't you dare start talking about yourself like that. Don't you start talking about yourself and tearing yourself down. You're worth so much more than any of this."
"But I'm not!" Kurt shouted. Blaine felt himself stumble back a few steps. "I'm worth nothing and I'm not going to be on Broadway or go to New York because I can't get into a college with the crap that I've done and I'd be better off dead!"
"Kurt-"
Kurt fell to his knees, crying so hard he was nearly gagging, as Blaine swooped behind him and cradled Kurt in his lap. He remembered a year ago when rocking Kurt back and forth and humming had soothed him, so he started humming Perfect beneath his breath because it had become their song in the past few months and then they'd performed it last week for Glee. He had no idea what to say if Kurt wouldn't listen to him through his self-hatred and it made him feel so weak and powerless sitting there on the floor.
He lost track of time, singing quietly through songs he knew Kurt liked until Kurt's sobs had slowed to the occasional hiccup and sniffle. He tilted Kurt's head, kissing away his tears and then pressing a kiss to his forehead.
"You're perfect to me," he whispered.
Kurt gave a watery smile. "I just feel like such a failure."
"I know," Blaine said, wiping at Kurt's cheeks with his sleeve. "I know. But no one on Broadway will care if you were senior class president. No one deciding on giving you a Tony will care if you went to NYADA straight out of high school or even went to NYADA at all. You did a Barbra-vention with Rachel last year. Barbra didn't go to NYADA. Idina Menzel who sang Defying Gravity didn't either. And yet they're still incredible, and you will be too."
Kurt blinked slowly, taking in a deep breath. "But maybe I won't be anything."
"You'll still be everything to me."
Kurt's arms wound around Blaine's neck as he breathed into Blaine's collar. "What would I do without you sometimes?"
"Be just as lost as I would be if I didn't have you," Blaine murmured, stroking down Kurt's spine and snuggling him close.
He'd never tell anyone, but the patience he'd built up over the years dealing with Rachel's ridiculous stubbornness had finally come in handy. Kurt had tried insisting that filling out an application for NYADA was ridiculous but Blaine had pushed harder against Kurt's weak protests until he'd started penning in the forms. Blaine's hand moved over his back, watching him write down things like his address and birth day and feeling glad that Rachel's annoying habits had been useful for a change.
His patience hadn't lasted when Rachel had come home and told him how she'd stuffed the ballots and been suspended for two weeks, meaning she was going to miss Sectionals. Leroy had been home and expressed his disappointment while Blaine had just gazed at Rachel, absolutely flabbergasted and speechless. He could understand her intentions – vaguely – at wanting to assure Kurt a win and achieve his dreams of NYADA, but sometimes his sister blew him away with how stupid and naïve she continued to be. Kurt's words from earlier still rang in his ears and he wondered if either of them would get into NYADA now with Rachel's black mark on her record. He shook his head as he turned away, too angered by the way she had inadvertently made Kurt break down in his arms that afternoon to talk to her.
Hearing Sebastian's voice floating through the Lima Bean made his stomach turn over and he glanced at Kurt, stopping mid-conversation to stare at the stupid Warbler that turned his boyfriend and sister against him.
"Blaine," Sebastian cooed, eyes flickering to Kurt. "I see you're still having coffee with him."
"Yes, that tends to happen when two people are dating and enjoy each other's company and good coffee," Kurt smiled, patting the seat beside him for Blaine to take. Blaine grabbed his coffee and cuddled up to Kurt, not wanting to be in the firing line.
"Dating, huh?" Sebastian mused, twirling his cup around in his hands. "Haven't you told him, Blaine?"
"Told him what?" Blaine said with a raised eyebrow.
"Oh, so you haven't?" Sebastian leaned back in his chair as he smirked. "Well well, Kurt. Here's the thing. Blaine here likes getting texts from me. He also likes sleeping around Dalton from what I've heard. He's really no good for you."
Kurt nodded as if he was seriously considering Sebastian's words. "Here's the thing I heard," Kurt began. "I heard that Blaine had a boyfriend who had read those text messages, as well as Blaine's replies of "Please stop, I don't like this" and "I'm not interested Sebastian" to the extent that Blaine had that number blocked." Kurt grinned at Sebastian's stunned look as he leaned over the table. "I also heard about that little list you made up and passed on to Blaine's sister, and the people on it are people I know and consider friends. Do they know about the slanderous things you've said about them, Smythe? Do they know how you're trying to taint their friend's reputation?"
"Well, I-"
"If something just, oh I don't know, happened to go around Dalton that you had started allegations about someone's sexual history, which were lies, and which everyone knew were lies, and that someone happened to be one of the most popular boys before he left rather recently…what do you think they'd do to you?" Kurt said coyly, resting his chin in his palm. "I mean, there's a no bullying policy on the grounds but there are boys there I can call on. Boys that know not to touch your face and keep it clean. Boys that know how to hurt without leaving a mark." His spare hand drummed on the countertop of the table as he pondered his options. "But I don't think it'll come to that, because I think the person making such foul and disgusting accusations will keep his mouth shut from now on, don't you?"
Sebastian's eyes moved from Kurt's to Blaine's, clearly frightened.
"Oh, and as for being no good for me?" Kurt leaned back and squeezed Blaine's leg. "I guarantee you, the boy knows exactly how to fulfil my needs and let me fulfil mine and let me tell you, he's too good for the likes of you and your disgusting ass. So run along to your hallowed halls and keep your head down and your mouth closed, unless you wanted to lose things like your ability to sing, or walk, or," Kurt's eyes roamed over Sebastian's body, "be a sperm donor in the future."
Blaine swallowed down his chuckle as Sebastian grabbed his coffee and ran from the café.
"Have I told you lately that I love you?" he giggled when Kurt crossed his legs primly and returned to filling out the application for a job at the coffee shop.
"I'm sure you can thank me for it later," Kurt replied with a grin.
The ease with which Sam had been accepted into the folds of New Directions angered Blaine. Sam's voice wasn't as strong as his and his dancing was questionable, his leadership was doubtful and yet Finn clearly liked to agree with everything the blonde said. He'd never really met Sam before but couldn't help the way his nose wrinkled with dislike at how simple it was for Sam and not for the first time, Blaine felt himself wondering if the reason Finn didn't like him was because he was gay. He'd heard from Kurt how sometimes Finn was accidentally homophobic but it felt like too much seeing the friendship between Finn and Sam when Blaine was dating Finn's stepbrother and had worked so damned hard to be listened to and make New Directions into a group that performed respectable numbers well. Added to that was how Rachel had driven with Finn to encourage the return because she couldn't perform and it made him feel like Rachel was secretly conspiring against him. He knew it was paranoid but he'd learned about paranoia regarding solos from the best and when it reached Sam and his stupid sex moves, it had pushed Blaine beyond his emotional capacity and he snapped.
His fist connected with a locker as he stormed out of the stupid choir room. It left a mild dent in the metal and split his knuckles which leaked blood as he walked the corridors to the courtyard. He slumped onto the steps, head on his knees as he nursed his bloodied hand and sobbed. He couldn't deal with all the misconceptions at the moment. He often found himself wishing he'd never left Dalton and yet he realised that if he hadn't, he'd have to deal with Sebastian on a daily basis without Wes to sweep in and save him. He missed Wes sometimes so much because Wes had always accepted him, regardless of his faults or his confusion or his hurt, and at McKinley, it felt like he was constantly being judged and put down for even the most simplest of suggestions. It reminded him of when Kurt had gone to Dalton and explained that they were doing girl songs and they hadn't listened to him. Now Blaine understood why and he found he had a greater respect for the strict guidelines of the Warblers and an increasing resentment for Schuester and his poor management of a group of teenagers.
A large hand closed over his shoulder and he scrambled to his feet, cradling his hand to his chest.
"What do you want?" he spat, a foot shorter than Finn with the added steps between them.
"To apologise," Finn mumbled, hands in the pockets as he stared at his shoes. "You're clearly under a lot of pressure right now and I was wrong to treat you so badly." He shifted until he was sitting on a step and scuffed his shoe on the concrete.
"So why did you?" Blaine said, smearing the blood on his knuckles as he rubbed it.
"I was jealous of you and Kurt," Finn admitted quietly. "I was afraid you'd try and break Rachel and me up because I know you've never really liked me." He glanced up at Blaine and squinted with the sun reflecting off the steps. "You're a better singer than me. A better dancer. A better brother to Rachel than I am to Kurt. You're a better person and I...I'm just a screw up that hurts people with my stupidity. But we need you, Blaine. You're a natural leader and performer and we need to listen to you. Ineed to listen to you. We can't beat the Troubletones if we're fighting amongst ourselves this much."
Blaine sat on a lower step and straightened his fingers with a wince. "So what am I meant to do?"
A/N: As always, I am astounded by the support I receive from such wonderful people. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Every day there are new alerts and favourites for this in my inbox (...if only you'd just review too...-Blainers puppy-dog eyes-...)
There's only another part after this, so it's drawing to a close. I hope all those who are so in love with this story don't eviscerate me with the forthcoming conclusion!