AUTHOR'S NOTE~ Hey you guys. First off, I'm a moron, because I accidently posted the same chapter. Here's the real one. Thank you thank you thank you thank you for the reviews! So glad it's liked so far. Let's keep the reviews coming! You're guys' oppinion and constructive criticism is what makes this what it is and what you guys like! It'll only make it better. Please keep reviewing!

That weekend was the funeral. Shilo was left with a babysitter back at the Wallace's home and Nathan and I both went to the funeral. There was no question it was going to be exceedingly difficult, neither of us were expecting any different. The car ride to the memorial lawn was silent. I looked at Nathan next to me, and I could easily see the tension in his shoulders and general demeanour. His olive green eyes from behind his black thick-rimmed glasses stared straight, almost blank, as though numb by what we were about to endure. I could easily tell that inwardly he was upset. There was only so long the poker face could last. I reached over and gently lay my hand over his with a reassuring squeeze. He looked over at me, forcing a thin smile.

Once we got there, Marni's funeral service is outdoors. I sat beside Nathan, knowing he was going to need someone's support and was sure he wouldn't get it from anyone else. As it began, I kept a hand on his back, gently rubbing it as the service began. The pastor paying respects and holding the ceremony spoke about how Marni was an amazing person, kind, generous, loved and extremely caring. All of this was true, but what really aggravated me is how this man was saying these things when he really didn't know Marni himself. Who else knew Marni as well as Nathan and I did? But once he was finished, it was Nathan's turn to get up and give his speech. Nathan straightened with a wavering exhale as he stood, and I knew immediately that he was not about to have an easy time of this. He got up to the podium and I could already see him struggling. My heart went out to him. I knew exactly how hard this was.

"Marni was so many things," Nathan began, clearing his throat. "She was a wife, a best friend, a mother, and an amazing athlete. I fell in love with not only Marni's caring nature, but I've never seen anyone bond with a horse like she did. She had a way with animals like nothing I've ever seen. We teased her that she treated her horses like her children. And after she had our daughter, Shilo, that devotion was passed on and turned Marni into the most devoted, protective mom. Shilo was her world, our world. From the minute Shilo was born, she looked just like Marni. Marni and I always said that she would probably grow up an adrenalin junkie just like her mom was, with a love for horseback riding and this sport. I'm sorry Marni won't get to see Shilo grow up, grow into the beautiful, sweet, talented and caring person her mom was and what we were sure she would be, and I'm sorry that Shilo will grow up never really knowing her mother because her mom was an incredible woman, and the love of my life."

Nathan's voice cracked. Tears streamed down my face as I watched Nathan pause, giving a heavy, wavering exhale and try to continue. "I've never known anyone like Marni, and I know I never will. She was one in a million, and she will be missed. I love you, Marni. So much. I'll never stop missing you."

A choked sob left Nathan as he stepped away from the podium and came back over to sit back down. As he did, he rested an elbow on his knee, his hand covering his eyes as though rubbing them, but I could see his whole body very quietly shaking. I wrapped my arms around him, feeling one go around me and hugged him close to me. As a few people went up and pay their respects and speak about Marni, I kept my arm around Nathan as he stayed quiet, his eyes lowered, but I knew he was taking in every sentence spoken about Marni. I was, too, but I gently rubbed my hand up and down his back in long, slow strokes. The one thing I wanted to do is be there for him and comfort him. But it seemed like in almost no time, it was my turn to go up. My stomach tied itself in a knot, and I could already feel the sting of tears burning the backs of my eyes. The second I stepped up to the podium, however, any kind of anxiety left me. This was Marni. This was nothing more than me speaking about my best friend, paying my respects to her and sharing what an amazing person she was.

"I'm not a good writer," I admitted, lifting my eyes. "I can't really come up with anything creative like many of these other people did, but what I can do is tell you just what a special person Marni was to me. She and I knew each other back when we were going to high school. She was the one true friend I had, she was the one who got me through some of the harder times that every teenager goes through. She was the one person I could count on, and I wanted to be the best friend I could to her. Marni was an incredibly talented rider, you've heard that, but she was also a lovely person, a wonderful mother, and a loving woman who would have given anything for her family."

I looked at Nathan as I say that, and could hear my own voice crack. Nathan took his glasses off and was wiping his eyes, clearly having heard what I said. I paused a moment, lowering my eyes as I tried desperately to collect myself; regain composure that I knew was hanging by a thread.

"The best way I could describe it… and I think we can all relate to it to some degree, just how we're going to cope with Marni no longer being here with us, but this song struck me in ways I didn't think anything could." I finished, clearing my throat and behind me where a CD player had been placed, was turned on by someone else in the memorial party. It was LeAnn Rimes' song Probably Wouldn't Be This Way. I remembered driving over to the Wallace's with the radio on, and when this song came on I cried the remainder of the way there. It just hit home.

Got a date a week from Friday with the preacher's son

Everybody says he's crazy, I'll have to see

I finally moved to Jackson when the summer came

I won't have to pay that boy to rake my leaves

I'm probably goin' on and on, it seems

I'm doing more of that these days

It probably wouldn't be this way

It probably wouldn't hurt so bad

I never pictured every minute without you in it

How you left so fast

Sometimes I see you standing there

Sometimes it's like I'm losing touch

Sometimes I feel that I'm so lucky to have had the chance

To love this much,

So God give me a moment's grace

'Cause if I'd never seen your face, it probably wouldn't be this way

I had to turn around so that I was not facing the other people attending Marni's funeral, unable to stop the tears from streaming down my face. My breath caught in my throat, as though maybe that will stop the sob that I knew was about to tear through me. I felt somebody coming up behind me and realized it was Nathan as he moved near me and wrapped his arms around me, drawing me near him, standing so his body was almost shielding me from the vulnerability of the fact that I was literally breaking down as the song continued playing out. I put both my arms around him, sobbing against his chest and Nathan did nothing more but hold me. It became more and more real, the fact that Marni was no longer with us. She was gone, there was nothing that could bring her back. That seemed to hit me and Nathan both.

After the funeral, I went back to the Wallace's with Nathan. The two horses needed to fed, and Nathan had asked if I wanted to stay for wine and dinner. We sat in the living room on the couches after Nathan had put Shilo down for the night, and we opened a bottle of pinot noir between us. I sat on the couch and Nathan came back in with the bottle and two wine glasses in hand, pouring a glass which he handed to me then poured one for himself.

"It's strange to think of what happened today," I said quietly, staring forward at the coffee table in almost a zoned thought process. Nathan sat down on the couch beside me. "It's as though burying her really confirms that she's gone,"

"That's crossed my mind several times since we've gotten back," Nathan responded, taking a sip from his glass. "I think it definitely took a lot out of both of us."

"Without a doubt," I said, taking a sip from my own wine glass. The alcohol was getting less and less tart by the glass. We had been drinking almost the whole night, so I was sure that the warmth and slowly growing numbness was one of the effects of the wine. It was a numbing sensation that I was rather grateful for. There was a moment of silence before Nathan set his glass on the coffee table, leaning back against the back of the couch with a sigh, the arm opposite from me draping over the back of the couch with that hand running through his light brown hair.

"I can't thank you enough for being here during all of this," He said softly. "She was your best friend, you could have very well just gone your own way and mourned by yourself. I can't even begin to tell you how much it means to me; how much of a comfort it is to have you here."

I look in his direction, my expression softening as he spoke, and I turned my body toward him so I could face him, reaching slightly and gently lay a hand on his knee.

"You're my friend, too, Nathan." I told him, trying to search his face. "Marni and I were close, but you and I are, too. I couldn't have left you dealing with this by yourself."

Nathan nodded slowly, laying his other hand over mine and I could feel it give a gentle squeeze. He said nothing in response, however. That didn't surprise me much. Nathan was never a man of many words.

There was another moment of silence before I looked back in his direction, inching a bit closer to him. "What's going to happen with Uther?"

Nathan took his glasses off, rubbing his eyes for a moment, letting his glasses dangle from his hand, shaking his head slowly. "I don't know. He seems like he's healing up alright, which is more than lucky, considering the injuries he endured," He responded, stopping before he went further into the topic of his late wife's accident. "We just have to hope that nothing gets infected, and I think he'll be alright. He'll never be showed again, he'll be lucky if he's slightly ride able."

"Are you going to keep him?" I asked softly, lowering my eyes to the fray in the seam of the trench coat I wore. Nathan nodded slowly.

"Yes," He said. "I don't have the heart to sell him, because of… you know… and if I were to sell him chances are he'd be killed. What happened wasn't his fault."

"He's still a stallion, too," I said softly. "I mean, if you wanted to breed him… Marni put a lot of mileage on him; he earned quite the reputation in the show ring. Anything sired by him would be greatly valued."

He nodded in response, "That's true… I don't know, I can't process the thought of breeding anything right now," He murmured, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees, rubbing his eyes once more. I moved nearer to Nathan, laying a hand on his back and ran my hand up and down it in a gentle, reassuring motion. I could almost feel the tension in his back. I couldn't believe what he was getting put through.

"Things will get better, Nathan," I told him softly. "I know it doesn't seem like it now, but it will,"

Nathan actually stayed where he was as I rubbed his back, seeming to relax in the slightest. A part of me wondered if the wine helped a bit. I was sure it was for the both of us.

"I hope so," He murmured.

"It will," I said gently. "You just have to keep going, Nathan. Keep holding on, you'll get through this. We both will."

Nathan stayed silent. I alternated to gently running my nails up and down his back in the same soothing fashion. Nathan didn't move from the position, but I could see his eyes closing slightly, his body ever so slightly rocking slightly from side to side with the motion of my hand, very lightly but as though he was no longer rigid like he had been. I could hear a sigh leave Nathan, almost like a low, contented groan in the back of his throat, letting his head hang slightly as I continued to scratch his back, soon gently kneading into the muscle of Nathan's back with the heel of my palm. That issued another light groan out of him, but suddenly he slowly straightened, turning to look in my direction. My eyes were trained on his green pair as they searched my face. I could feel his hand on the side of my face and neck, his touch tender, enough to raise every hair on the back of my neck from pleasant chills his touch sent through me. My hand slowly went to Nathan's side, before I could even do anything to control what we were doing. I slowly moved nearer to him and before I could do anything to stop it, his lips met mine in a kiss that was completely preventable but neither of us seemed to bother. Closing my eyes, I leaned toward Nathan, my hand sliding from his side to his chest. It was slow, not quick and furious in the least, but more meaningful. It was familiar; Nathan was familiar.

Though suddenly, as though we both had the same immediate thought and reaction, both of us broke the kiss almost immediately. Nathan looked stunned, as though he couldn't believe what he had just done. I knew mainly it was because of how recently he lost Marni, and now this was happening.

"I'm sorry… I… I don't know what happened," He muttered, rubbing the back of his neck, then as though he had said something he thought would have insulted me, his head snapped back up and toward me. "I—I mean it wasn't because of you, it wasn't that at all—I—you know how I feel about you, I just—oh, God… "

"It's alright, it was both of us… " I responded softly, still trying to come to grips with what just happened. But I was absolutely in the same situation as Nathan. What did we just do? Was something really building back with me and Nathan so soon after Marni's death? There was no way it was the right thing, not so soon. Not like this. "There was alcohol involved, too."

I tried to reassure him, but I knew just as well as he did that that wasn't just an alcohol-induced impulsive move. It meant something to the both of us, and I think that's why Nathan proceeded to mentally beat himself up over it. He was bent back over with his elbows on his knees, staring at the coffee table. I lay my hand on his back, half expecting him to flinch away, but when he didn't it was both relieving and at the same time it frightened me. What was happening between us? And how could it happen so soon after Marni's death?

"Nathan, it meant nothing, I promise," I tried to assure him, and then was surprised when he turned around and gave me a horrified look.

"Did it really? It meant nothing? How could—" He stopped himself and wiped a hand over his mouth in a motion of obvious distress. "Then do I dare admit that it meant something to me?"

"Then what the hell is going on, Nathan?" I slowly stood, one hand on my hip and the other rubbing the back of my neck, a combination of frustrated and shaken. Was I lying? It did mean something to me. It meant everything to me. I turned back to face him, both arms now crossed over my chest."What are we doing?"

"I don't know," Nathan's voice was quieted and he wouldn't look at me, but I couldn't tear my eyes away from him.

"I wish you did know," I responded, my voice quieting a bit, even though I never really raised it to begin with. "Because I don't either, but I know that it did mean something to me, and if it did to you, too, then that scares me. This can't be a good thing… I mean under any other circumstances, it would, but right now… ? So soon?"

"I know," Nathan hung his head with a heavy exhale. My expression softened.

"I know how you feel, Nathan, I really do. It's killing me, but it just can't mean anything right now. Not to either of us. Not this soon. Especially not for you; for your sake and well being." I said softly. Nathan didn't say a word in response, but I could tell through his general posture and hunched shoulders that this affected him, probably with shame as a dominating emotion. With a sigh, I sat down next to him, sliding my arm around his shoulders.

"I just want you to be okay, Nathan," I told him softly, giving his arm furthest from me a gentle squeeze, and could feel him gently leaning toward me. "I don't want you to rush into something so soon, because I know I'm not ready for it, and I'm sure you're not either."

Nathan nodded slowly, and I got the impression that he did understand what I was saying. I did want to be with him, more than anything, but when all of him was in the relationship. But inwardly I suddenly wondered if it wasn't so much of us not being ready, but if I was just terrified of disrespecting my best friend's memory by forming a romantic relationship with her widowed husband, a man who I've been in love with since I could remember?

After a moment of silence, Nathan glanced over at the clock to my left, clearing his throat. "Listen, it's getting late, why don't you stay here for the night?"

"Nathan… " I shot him a wary look. Weren't we just over this?

"No, no, I don't mean like that, I promise. You shouldn't have to drive back home this late. I would feel better about it if you stayed here for the night." Nathan said. I searched his green eyes and finally gave in. It couldn't hurt. He was doing it as a friend looking out for me. At least I was trying to convince myself of that, even though I didn't entirely want it to. I knew it was better for the both of us this way.

"Alright," I nodded slowly with a sigh. "It probably would be best."

I could see a look of relief cross Nathan's face. Maybe he was just concerned for my wellbeing. "Great. I have sweats and a t-shirt if you want to borrow something to sleep in, I have both long-sleeved and short-sleeved."

"Long-sleeved is fine," I told him, glancing his way. Nathan nodded, and I could feel him watching me as I rested my elbows on my knees and interlaced my fingers together so both hands were closed together, on knuckle gently pressed to my lips as I stared forward in thought. I could hear Nathan shift slightly, but he said nothing. I didn't either for the first minute or so then shook my head, letting my hands drop so the were still together but draped past my knees. "Things can't be awkward between us. We've known each other for years, Nathan, there's no way."

Nathan nodded. "I know. They won't be." He said, exhaling slowly, rubbing the back of his neck. My heart went out to him.

"Nathan, I don't want you to think I shot you down, either. I would love to be with you. You know that, I know that. I care about you so much, just... right now isn't the right time." I said softly, turned slightly toward him while giving him a remorseful look. Nathan looked in my direction and a thin smile slipped across his face. As I straightened, I could feel his arm go around me as though reassuring me, and almost immediately I sank against him as he gently pulled me into a one armed hug. I moved my arm over his torso, settling with the side of my head against his collarbone and chest.

"I know you didn't, honey, you're fine." Nathan said softly, and I could feel him gently kiss the side of my head. It was a friendly gesture, but while a part of me felt as though this was still not a good thing in the least, that we were still getting far too close, the more dominant side of me cherished every second of it. I didn't want to let him go. I never wanted to let him go. I found myself memorising every little detail, every movement. I could feel the pattern of his breathing, his heartbeat. To sit beside a person you cared about so much was a surreal thing, but also because he seemed so out of reach for so long. But he still was. At least I was hell-bent on trying to realise that. I could feel the backs of his fingers running gently up and down my upper arm, holding me to him.

"We should get to bed," I said finally, slowly straightening. Nathan loosened his arms to release me and I gently pulled away.

"That's probably a good idea." He said. "Now... the guest room's down the hall from our... the master bedroom, you're more than welcome to stay in there."

I shot him a sympathetic look, having caught the slip up and the twinge of sadness that appeared in his green eyes as we both stood, but it quickly disappeared. He glanced back in my direction. "I'm going to check on Shilo then I'll bring pyjamas for you."

"Thanks," I pulled a black hair tie off my wrist and wrung my almost waist-length dark hair into a messy bun, then followed Nathan up the stairs and passed him in the hallway to the guestroom with a glance in his direction. He and I parted ways as I made my way into the guest room with my purse in hand. I set it on the bed and sat down at the foot, surveying the room around me. It was so familiar, yet without Marni, it was strange and uncomfortable all the same.

Ten minutes later, I heard a knock at the door. I had a feeling it was Nathan.

"Come in,"

Sure enough, Nathan slowly entered the room with a few folded clothing articles in arm. I gave him a grateful look. "Thank you."

"My pleasure," He said, setting them down on the bed with a brief, thin smile in my direction. I watched his green eyes move from me to around the room. "Let me know if you need anything, alright?"

"I will," I responded, then moved toward him and wrapped my arms around him in a hug, feeling his own encircle me in return. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight," I felt him kiss the side of my head again after gently tightening his arms a moment. I had read somewhere that if someone squeezes you gently during a hug, it is usually because they've felt a sudden, strong emotion. I couldn't help but wonder what was going through Nathan at that moment. "I'll see you in the morning."

After a moment the embrace we broke apart slowly, and Nathan left the room to go down to the master bedroom. I went into the bathroom with the pyjamas he gave me in arm to change. Finally changed in the grey sweats and white long sleeve shirt Nathan gave me, I folded the clothes I had worn to the funeral and set them on the chair in the corner before going to one side of the bed, pulled back the covers and crawled in, leaning over to switch off the light.

Over half an hour had passed, and I still found myself wide awake. I just couldn't fall asleep for the life of me. My mind whirled, thinking about Marni, Uther, what happened, the funeral; everything. But of all else, I couldn't stop thinking of Nathan. Yet an almost disturbed feeling kept coming back. It dawned on me it was being by myself in this room.

The floors creaked in the hallway and I froze, eyes darting toward my closed door. I couldn't see the other side of the door, but I couldn't help but feel my heart rate pick up in the slightest.

This is an ancient house. It's nothing. Floors are probably just really old. Wood floors creak all the time. It was a running mantra through my head, trying to keep from spooking myself. It was a combination of just feeling uneasy being alone after Marni's death, and now this. I just kept giving myself one excuse after another, but all in all, I just couldn't sleep.

With a sigh, I climbed out of bed and opened the bedroom door, moving slowly out into the hallway, wondering if Nathan was awake. The master bedroom at the end of the hall was left with its door cracked open. I moved toward it and slowly pushed it further, trying to remain as quiet as I could in case Nathan was indeed asleep.

"Nathan?" My voice was a hushed whisper, expecting to hear someone stirring in the bed or just complete silence. As my eyes adjusted to the dark, I could see Nathan's form lying on his side, the covers at his waist which made the fact that he was shirtless visible. I cringed, wondering if I was waking him up, but almost immediately I could see Nathan's head lift and turn to me.

"Hey," I tried to hear out his voice to see if it was muffled or thick from sleep, but it wasn't. It was hushed, as though concerned about waking Shilo who was asleep just next-door. "What's wrong? You alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," I began, then heard Nathan shift.

"Come in here, you're fine," He assured me. Moving inside the room, I shut the door behind me. It was easier to see through the moonlight washing through the massive window that was just on the other side of the room. I could see Nathan propped up on his elbow, his glasses off, and with no shirt. Oh, my lord... he doesn't have a shirt on...

"I didn't wake you, did I?" I asked, taking a seat on the corner of the foot of the bed near him, looking in his direction.

"No... no, you didn't," He said quietly. "I've been awake for the past half hour or so. Just couldn't fall asleep."

"Likewise, actually," I said, lowering my eyes. A part of me was tempted to crawl in bed with him, at least be next to somebody and feel like I wasn't alone. Something told me he felt alone as well, but I didn't want to take the chance. Though I felt like a little girl who had just had a nightmare and came into her parents' room to crawl in bed with them. But mainly I just wanted to be next to him again; as my friend and someone I took great comfort in being around, as well as someone who I absolutely cared so much about on a whole new level.

"Having a hard time being alone in the room?" Nathan asked softly. I made a bit of a face and shrugged, but after a moment I nodded slowly, not able to really look at him.

"Yeah. Me too," He said quietly. I looked up at him and found that he had lowered his gaze. He was sleeping on Marni's side of the bed, I just realised that. One of her pillows was by his chest, as though he was holding onto it. That killed me, just seeing how much it was impacting him, and knowing how much he missed her. Seeing him like this absolutely broke my heart.

"You could sleep in here if you want," Nathan's voice was quieted, glancing at me in a way of understanding if I said no, but I could tell he hoped I wouldn't say no. I knew he needed someone with him just as much as I did.

In response, I slowly crawled over to the other side of him to where his back faced the side he normally slept on. Before settling down, I lay a gentle, reassuring hand on his side before crawling under the covers with him. H e glanced over his shoulder at me and I could see almost a look of grateful relief come across his face as he settled down, inching nearer to me. I wrapped my arms around his waist from behind and lay my chin on the crook of his shoulder. Nathan's arms went over my own, gently pressing them to him, while I could almost feel him relax in my arms. Hugging Nathan close, I gently ran my thumb in a gentle stroking motion over an area of his stomach that my thumb could reach. I almost couldn't believe I was in this position, but I couldn't have been more relieved that I was able to be with him at this time.

"Turn over and I'll scratch your back," I offered gently, quietly. My notions were to comfort and soothe him to sleep, feeling as though if he were calm it would help me fall asleep as well. Nathan nodded slowly and I loosened my arms as he turned over onto his stomach, with his arms under the pillow that was under his head. I lay my hand on his back and could feel the exhale he gave, unable to see if he was closing his eyes or not. But I lay my head down on my arm that was folded with my elbow out in front of me, and ran began running my nails very softly up and down Nathan's back, from side to side on both his lower and upper back. Every so often I let my nails trail gently back and forth to his ribcage, and could feel goose bumps rise over Nathan's skin when I did, but it was as though it still felt good to him. I could follow Nathan's breathing pattern, feeling and hearing it growing steadier and steadier. I could feel him relax, grateful that he was calming down and might actually be able to sleep. I continued running my nails up and down his back, and even for a bit longer after he seemed to have fallen asleep. Eventually my hand settled though, and I slid the flat of my palm onto his back and around him to where it went partway around his ribcage and side and let it settle there, laying my head down on the pillow and moved nearer to him. What surprised me even more, though, was when I felt Nathan's arm that was closest to me move from under his head to almost under his chest, taking gently hold over my own that was at his ribcage and lay his own hand over it with a gentle squeeze, feeling his thumb gently stroking it.

Touched by the notion, I inched closer to him so that I was right pressed against his bare upper body, feeling his warmth and the affection that was obvious in his gentle hold. We both fell asleep in that position, though when I woke up at about three in the morning, I realised I was facing the other direction, but Nathan's arms were around me. It was actually comforting, a reassuring sense of falling asleep being held by someone. I snuggled closer to him, laying my arms over his as he had done earlier. The tranquillity of the night didn't last very long though, because the dreams I had suddenly became horrible, gruesome, and horrifying. At one point I remember jerking awake with a gasp, which was enough to startle Nathan into consciousness, but when I looked over at the corner for a moment I could see the rotting, distorted creature of a corpse that could have at one point been Marni standing; standing in the corner, glaring at me. My gasp had broken off in to screaming, throwing myself against the backboard of the bed. Almost immediately the lights went on.

"Mag! Mag!" Nathan was trying to get my attention. When I looked back, trembling, at the corner of the room, my heart hammering in my ribcage, the image was gone. It was a dream. It was a slowly waking hallucination. But still, terrified, as Nathan drew me into his arms I broke down in tears.

"I saw her... I saw her... Oh, my God, Nathan... " Sentences didn't even seem to comprehend and I found myself sobbing harder against him than I had in awhile. Nonetheless, Nathan held me, rocking me back and forth.

"Shh... shh.... Maggie, no-one's in here, it's just us.... " He murmured to me, trying to calm me down. His embrace was firm, secure, drawing my trembling body into his arms further. I cried against the crook of his neck, my sobs slowly quieting into slight hitches of breath. I could feel Nathan rubbing my back, doing whatever he could to comfort me.

"I saw her, Nathan... she was... she was standing in the corner of the room... she would never forgive me for this... "I stammered, burying my face against his chest. "She was.... she was dead, Nathan.... it was horrifying. Marni... Gorgeous, sweet Marni... she looked like a monster."

"Oh, honey.... " Nathan murmured, tightening his arms around me. "Marni loved you, she would never think that way about you. It was a dream, all of it was just a dream. It's alright.... "

He could have gotten upset. As I calmed down and became more and more awake, I realised just what I had said, bringing up his late wife and my best friend that we had lost so recently, but he did nothing more than hold me. He was supportive, reassuring and caring. That was something I couldn't have been more grateful for, but at the same time, I felt horrible.

"I'm so sorry, Nathan... " I murmured against him after having calmed down. Nathan shook his head, stroking my hair.

"Maggie, you're fine, you don't have to be sorry," He told me. "We both lost her. You did nothing wrong. I'm sorry you experienced that,"

I didn't move but stayed in his arms. Being near Nathan felt safe, like I had someone there, someone who cared about me. But the sad thing was, I couldn't possibly let this happen. I couldn't betray my best friend's memory like that.

Could I?