I never knew it could be this painful to do this. I sat in my bathroom and looked at my phone. James and I had been dating for a little more than a year now. He was a big superstar and I honestly had no idea what he saw in me. I was absolutely sure he would be able to find someone smarter, prettier, skinnier, and more talented than I was.
I sighed and stared at my phone some more. I knew Big Time Rush was doing a concert about an hour away from here. I felt a few tears slide down my cheek as I sent the text message to James. "I'm so sorry to do this…but, you deserve better than me"
I put my phone on silent as I grabbed the razor that I had recently bought and ran it across my wrist right on the vein. I downed the bottle of aspirin right after I slashed my wrist and felt instantly woozy. I hit my head on the edge of the bathtub and blacked out.
Meanwhile with the Big Time Rush guys:
"Woo! That was a great first set!" Carlos said as the boys high-fived during intermission.
James picked up his phone and saw he had a message. A look of worry came over his delicate features.
"What is it dude?" Kendall asked.
"It's Steph. She knows we have a concert. Why would she text me?" James looked at Kendall and then decided to call her to make sure everything was ok. After it went straight to voicemail, he looked at the guys. "I have to go."
"What? Why? We have one more set to do!" Logan told him.
"Something's wrong with Steph! I have to go!" James grabbed his jacket and car keys and began the almost hour drive to Steph's house, speeding the whole way there.
When he finally got there, he found the door unlocked, which, was unlike her. "Please be ok." James whispered as he ran throughout the house to find her. He searched in every room frantically until he reached the bathroom. He knocked a few times and when there was no answer, he finally decided to break down the door.
When he finally got into the room, he gasped, seeing her bleeding body and her faint blue lips. He checked for a pulse and it was faint. "No No No!" he sobbed. He immediately called 911.
"Hello 911, what's your emergency?"
"My girlfriend is bleeding and has a faint pulse! I need help now" James was holding back his tears.
"Ok sir, where are you located?"
"175 E. Broadway Ave."
"Ok we will have an ambulance out there as soon as possible."
James nodded, sniffling. "Ok. Thank you." He hung up and wrapped her wrist with a towel to stop the bleeding.
A few minutes later, the EMT's showed up. They grabbed Steph from James and put her on a stretcher and put an oxygen mask on her. They rushed her off to the hospital.
James raced to the hospital right after the ambulance took his girlfriend there. When he got there, he watched as the doctors rushed her into a room. "Steph!" he called out.
"Sir, sir…you can't go back there." A nurse said, looking at James.
"But I have to be with her…she's my girlfriend."
"I will come get you when the doctors are done with her. Now what is your name?"
"James Maslow. Her name is Steph Harmes. Please, please…let me know when I can see her." He pleaded.
The nurse nodded and led James to the waiting room. When he finally sat down in the waiting room, he decided to text the guys. 'Steph's in the hospital. Come please.'
About what seemed like forever, the guys showed up. "Hey buddy." Logan said, rubbing James' back.
James looked up, his eyes red and puffy from crying. "H..hi." he choked out.
"How is she?" Carlos asked quietly.
"I..I haven't gotten to see her yet."
Kendall frowned and looked at one of his three best friends. He tried to keep back the tears. Ever since James and Steph had started dating, she had become part of the group. He sighed and gave James a hug. Kendall looked up as a nurse came out.
"James Maslow?"
James stood up and looked at the nurse. "Is..is she ok? Please tell me she's ok."
The nurse looked at James. "She's fine. The doctors had to pump her stomach, and give her a blood transfusion, she lost a lot of blood, and she's on suicide watch for the next 24 hours."
James nodded. "Can…can I see her?"
The nurse nodded. "She's in room 312."
James nodded and went to her room and the guys decided to wait and let James have his time with her. When he entered her room, he was horrified by the sight. She looked pale, paler than normal.
"J..James?" came a weak voice.
"Steph! Oh my God! You scared me." He rushed to her bedside, grabbing her hand.
"I...I'm sorry." She sniffed.
"Why'd you do it?"
"I felt invisible. You have all these pretty girls wanting to be with you and I feel like I'm not pretty enough …you deserve someone better than me."
"But I don't want those girls or anyone else. I only want you. Forever and always."
She sniffled. "I love you James."
He gently kissed her forehead. "And I love you. You'll never be invisible to me." He sighed and stayed with her the entire night, knowing everything would be ok from now on.