Chapter 4: Picking up the Pieces

The crash of breaking glass and tiny running feet made Jaina want to smile and grimace at the same time. "Hanna?" she called leadingly, not rising from her chair.

There was no answer.

Sighing, she pulled herself with marginal difficulty out of the chair and back towards the hallway. There stood Hanna, wide-eyed, over the remains of what had once been a vase with flowers. Shards of it lay scattered across the floor, in the midst of water and petals. Jaina crossed her arms over her chest and waited.

"I'm sorry!" she blurted suddenly. "I didn't mean it!"

Jaina nodded, resisting the urge to smile. It had been a hideous piece of work, a present from her mother at her wedding, and she was almost relieved to have an excuse to trash the thing. But Hanna didn't need to know that. All she needed to know was that she had broke something of Mommy's, and needed to face the consequences, however lenient they may be. After a few minutes when Jaina didn't say anything, Hanna added cleverly, "You know Mommy, anger is of the Dark Side."

Unable to hold in her laughter, Jaina cracked a huge grin and giggled openly. And all she could think of was that she couldn't wait till Jag called so she could tell him.

"I'm not mad, Hanna. Help me clean this up, then go get dressed. We need to go visit Uncle Jacen."

When she arrived at Jacen's apartment, Jaina knew immediately it was worse than she had thought. From the looks of things, he had slept on the couch and hadn't eaten a thing, nor tended to personal needs like showering and shaving. "Hanna, go play out on the patio while I talk to Uncle Jacen."

Jacen looked up at her from where he lay, eyes open in slits. "Whaddaya want, Jaina?"

"I told you I would come by and check on you this morning," she said as she ripped the blanket off his prostrate form.

"Hey!"

"And so I'm here. Come on, get up Jacen, life isn't all bad. You've got what you wanted anyway, don't you? Your freedom? Come on, there's somebody out there who's just as uncommitted and lazy as you. And the two of you can live happily ever after, until one of you decides the relationship's too good and you better break up before you get too happy." As she spoke she switched on the lights and used the Force to flip him off the sofa onto the floor.

He hit the floor with a grunt, then rolled onto his back to look at her. "I'd be a little more compassionate if you had just lost Jag."

"I did almost lose Jag, remember? Tiras? And you were the one who told me not to get upset and to bide my time and hear him out. And since you're the one who ruined this relationship, I'm telling you to suck it up and deal with the consequences of your actions."

Grumbling, he rose onto his haunches and rested his elbows on his knees, head in hands. "What am I going to do without her, Jaina?"

In a softer, more compassionate tone she told him, "You're going to pick up the pieces and I'm going to help you put them back together, until you're a whole, complete person again. And eventually it'll get easier to breathe, and then smile, and soon enough laugh. And then, some day, you'll meet a girl who is exactly what you need and want, and this will only be one experience that helped make you who you are. And you'll be grateful for the time you had with Danni and the fact that loving her made you understand love better, and be a better partner for the woman you were meant for."

Eyes watery, he nodded in acceptance of her appraisal. She extended one hand to him and he took it, letting her pull him to his feet. "You once said to me, 'why do you insist on always setting me back on my feet again, right when I want to wallow in my sorrow?'."

Jaina smiled at the memory. "And you said, 'that's what twins are for'."

Pulling her into a hug, he said, "Thanks, Jaina. I love you."

"I love you, too. Now go take a shower while I fix you breakfast. You smell like you slept with a bantha."

"She's just beautiful, Jag," Syal said as she watched the still holo of her granddaughter.

Jag smiled in agreement. "We think so." He looked up to find her staring hard at him, and he knew immediately that something important was on her mind.

"How is Jaina doing, Jag?"

He took a long, slow breath, wondering how he should answer her. It would be futile to lie, he decided finally. She knew him too well, even after all these years. "She's unhappy, Mother."

They were alone in the Study, after Cem had offered to take Chak around the city, show him the sites. To Jag it was perfect. If Chak made friends with their other brother, things would go a lot easier when Jag told Chak of his intentions to leave him on Csilla. Wyn had been called back into the town on squadron business, and Soontir was on his way back to the mansion.

Syal nodded in a way that made him think she had known all along. "Go ahead. Tell me."

He sighed wearily, running a hand over his face. "Things started getting really rough about a year ago. I think she's tired of sitting at home all the time. She always wanted to fly, and she never really got to do that. She never got to do a lot of things, and it bothers her. And, I don't know, I guess I just don't really understand. She volunteered to stay home with Hanna, and then with Chak. That's what she wanted. Sometimes I think that maybe it's not them that bothers her...maybe its me. Maybe she doesn't want me anymore. I know that she wants something different. And why not me? We hardly even see each other any more, who would blame her for falling out of love with me?"

"Jag," Syal interrupted seriously, "do you love her still? Is she what you want?"

He nodded unhesitatingly. "I love her as much as I always have. I know that. I just wonder sometimes...why? Do I only love her because we're married? If she was a complete stranger and we met for the first time, would I love her now? I know that a life with her is what I want. I just think that we both need to remember why we fell in love in the first place."

"Talk is well and good, Jagged," she told him seriously, "but telling me this isn't going to change anything. When you go home to her, make time to find out. Work can wait. Spend time with her and remind yourself why you chose her above all other women in the galaxy."

He smiled, wondering how all infinite wisdom could be contained in that little woman. "You always have the right answer."

She opened her mouth to reply, but before she could they heard the front door blow open and the whistle of wind and snow. "That's Soontir," she said instead, rising and walking to the door. "Let's go greet him."

Jag hesitated. "Is he still angry that I defected to the Empire?"

She pursed her lips together ambiguously. "He wasn't happy. But let us hope that having Chak home will distract him, at least for the moment."

Cem was quiet, even more so than Jag, Chak noticed. Every once and a while he would catch him staring at him, which was a little disconcerting, but overall he seemed amiable enough. "Do you see that apartment building there?" Cem asked suddenly, veering out of the traffic lane and slowing down. It was a large place, elegant architecture with a vintage style. "That's where Jag and Jaina lived when they first got married. But Dad sold it after they left."

Chak frowned slightly, confused. "Jag and Jaina used to live here?"

"Yeah."

"I thought Jag left Csilla a long time before he got married," he told Cem.

Cem looked at him sideways, raising one curious brow. "They didn't tell you. Did they?"

"Tell me what?" Chak asked, starting to become confused.

"Not that I blame them," Cem continued, pulling back into the traffic lanes. "I wouldn't advertise it either."

"Advertise what?" Chak pressed.

"I guess it's been about five years now. The New Republic and the Chiss had been on really bad terms for years. If something didn't break soon, there might have been war. I don't know what happened on their end, but the Four Families decided that we should do what aristocrats here always do: marry off one of their own to insure trust and compliance. They knew whoever the new republic picked might not want to marry an alien, so they recruited Jag. Mother was devastated, and Jag didn't talk to anyone for a week. Then one day Jaina shows up, and they were married two days later."

Chak was silent, not sure what to think about what he had just heard. Jaina and Jag had the sort of relationship that wasn't on exhibition, preferring to display most of their affection in private. But he had always thought that they loved each other. He could see it in their eyes, and they way both of them became animated when they spoke about the other. But from the description Cem was giving him, perhaps things were different than they seemed. "That's...an interesting tale. Is it true?"

"Of course it is," Cem told him. "You can ask him."

"Maybe I will."

"Listen, Chak. I know you don't remember me. You don't remember anything, really. But I remember you, and all the fun times we had when I was a kid. And it'll never be like it was, but I want to have that back again. I want to have the same friendship with you that Jag does, because no matter what, you're my brother and I love you."

If Chak had been uncomfortable before, he was really uncomfortable then. "What are you getting at?"

His brother took a deep breath and plunged ahead. "What would you say if I asked you to stay here on Csilla for a while? Not just for me, but for Mom and Dad and Wyn, too. Mom especially. She remembers you as her baby, and it almost killed her when you 'died'. To have you back would mean so much to her. And, I know, this all probably scares you a little bit, and I don't want to be pushy. I just want you to get to know us, if only for a little while."

Chak scratched the back of his head nervously. He barely knew this guy, and he was telling him all these confusing things. He understood that things had happened in the past that meant a lot to Cem that Chak couldn't recall. But his new 'family' seemed to genuinely care for him. He knew that they would be crushed if he turned them down, even though that's exactly what he wanted to do. "I should talk to Jag first," he told him carefully, diplomatically.

"Jag already knows," Cem told him. "If you want to stay, he'll let you."

Chak was starting to panic. He didn't want to stay. He wanted to go back to Coruscant and keep the safe life that he had.

"You can leave any time you want," Cem told him. "Just stay for a while, give us a chance."

Chak looked out the window, weighing his options. Finally he said, "Can I think about it a while?"

"Take as long as you need."

Jaina had fixed her brother breakfast, then hung around till lunch, when Anakin came. Leaving him to stay with their heartbroken sibling for a while, she took Hanna out to lunch, then returned to the apartment, hoping Jag had called. He hadn't.

"Mommy," Hanna began thoughtfully as she sat at the table drawing while Jaina washed dishes, "why did Uncle Chak have to leave?"

"Well," Jaina began, "he doesn't remember anything about his life before we rescued him."

"I know that," Hanna said in a sarcastic voice that was oh-too-cute on a four year old.

Smiling, Jaina continued. "And we really want him to get better. Don't we?"

"Yep!" she smiled.

"Now, Uncle Chak had never been on Coruscant before we rescued him. So we thought it would be good to send him to a place where he had memories. A place that he could remember, even if he didn't."

"Oh," she said, continuing to scribble on the flimsiplast. "I'll miss him."

"Me too," Jaina said a bit sadly. "But he's just visiting. He'll be back."

"Look!" she exclaimed suddenly, holding up the flimsi proudly. "I drew you a picture, Mommy."

"Oh, let me see!" Jaina squealed in the voice that was only acquired after years of motherhood.

The drawing was basically a large circle with dots for eyes and nose and a huge smile. Attached directly to the circle were two sticks with appendages on the end she supposed were feet. A swirly mass of brown was set directly atop the circle. "Mommy, it's you!" Hanna smiled.

Jaina looked down at her, and for a moment she looked so much like her father Jaina couldn't believe it. "I know, it looks just like me," Jaina told her, running a hand through her jet black hair. "Thank you, sweetie. This one if going on the refrigeration unit."

The doorbell rang. Jaina finished taping the picture to the unit, then padded uncomfortably to the door. This second baby was a lot more uncomfortable than the first. On the other side was one of the last people she had expected to see. "Dr. Banks," she smiled.

Ismene smiled gently in return. "Hello, Jaina. I just stopped by to give you all Chak's final release papers. I forgot to give them to Jag the other day."

"Well, I'm sorry, but both Chak and Jag aren't here. They went to Csilla to visit family," Jaina told her.

"Oh," she replied, looking more disappointed than she should under the circumstances. "Well, that's fine, you can just keep it and have them sign it when they get back. Then bring a copy to me, and everything will be all set."

"Okay," Jaina said, observing the papers with a tinge of a frown. She didn't know what, but something wasn't quite...right. A tiny twinge in the Force, and that was all. "But Chak probably won't be home for quite some time. Jag was going to let him stay for a while."

Ismene scowled. "I wasn't told, nor did I authorize that. And I'm not sure I would have."

Jaina's frown deepened. "If you've released him, then we don't need your authorization for anything. And I'm not completely sure it would have mattered what you authorized."

The other woman looked shocked, her eyebrows raising slightly. "I am sorry if I've offended you. It wasn't my intention. I was only concerned for Chak's wellbeing. Please, just when they both have signed it just bring a copy back to me." With that she turned and left.

Jaina continued to frown after her. Then she shut the door and went back inside, still not sure what had upset her so. Maybe it was just the hormones.