Chapter 9

Draco woke up twisted in his sheets, and sweating profusely. The nightmares had started up again. He had been so distracted recently with Granger and the horcrux that he hadn't had them in a while, but it appeared as if they were back and more vivid than ever.

"Draco my boy, are you ready to accept this lifestyle? Are you prepared to put your life on the line for the cause?" Voldemort asked him. No, he wasn't. He didn't want to become a murderer. He didn't want any of it. He looked at his parents. His father had a look of pure pride on his face, his mother had a look of terror. She faintly nodded her head, and that was all the push he needed.

"Yes." Draco said finally. Voldemort smiled his grotesque smile at Draco. He put his arm forwards and Voldemort plunged his wand into Draco's arm. The pain was immense. It felt like his arm was on fire. He fought the urge to pull his arm back and to yell. He had to appear strong. Voldemort removed his wand and the burning began to subside, incredibly slowly.

"Welcome Draco." Voldemort smiled. Draco sank to his knee and bowed his head, honouring the Dark Lord. "Your first task is to kill that pesky old Headmaster of yours. Should you fail to kill Dumbledore, your parents will be killed."

Draco shook his head. He had sacrificed himself, his soul for his parents. He had given them everything, only to end up taking it all away from them again. What a waste. But he couldn't let them continue on taking so much from innocent people. At least Draco hadn't been innocent, his soul already damaged due to his actions. Draco knew that sleep would not come easily to him again, so he got up to get something to eat. As he left his room, he became aware that the lights in the common area were on. This struck his as odd, seeing as it was really late at night. As he scanned the room, he saw Granger curled up in a chair, sipping butterbeer.

"What are you doing up?" He asked. Hermione glanced up at him, scowled and returned to her book. "Granger. I asked you a question."

"I don't need to explain myself to you Malfoy. But I couldn't sleep."

"Was that so hard?" He asked, heading towards their kitchenette.

"Why are you up?" She asked him.

"I couldn't sleep. Do we have any dreamless sleep potion?" He asked, trying to sound nonchalant. The last thing he needed was her knowing about his nightmares.

"What would you need dreamless sleep potion for?" She asked.

"So that I can sleep obviously." He said, trying to hide the truth behind his attitude.

"We have sleeping draught to help with that." She informed him, speaking as if he was the daftest person on earth. To cover his tracks, he nodded and pretended to begin searching for it. Her head was buried in her book again, so she wouldn't notice that he never took it. He grabbed some food and a glass of pumpkin juice then headed back to bed.

"Good night Granger!" He called as he walked back to his room. Of course she would ruin his night. Now he had to pretend to go to sleep! He sighed and got back into bed. He stared at the tent ceiling, thinking about everything, trying to push Granger and their mission from his thoughts. His idle thoughts were interrupted by an ear-piercing scream. Fearing that some one had broken the wards and was attacking, he raced into the common room, wand drawn. When he looked around, upon realizing that everything was in order, he relaxed. Until his eyes fell on the bushy haired girl on the sofa. She was still screaming a horrendous scream, her face contorted in agony. But she was asleep. He lowered his wand, stunned at the sight in front of him. Granger, who almost always had it together, was suffering from night terrors. He had chalked up her little anxiety spell to her fight with Ron, but this was obviously much deeper. His heart melted a little at the sight of her so vulnerable and in pain. When the shock of it all had worn off, he rushed over to her.

"Hermione. Hermione please wake up. You're okay. It's just a dream" He told her urgently. He pushed some of the hair back from her face. She looked like she was in such pain it nearly broke his heart. He vaguely recognized this scene from somewhere, but he couldn't place it. Realizing that she wasn't going to wake up anytime soon, he sat on the sofa and did the only thing he could think of. He pulled the screaming know-it-all into his arms and gently rocked her, stroking her hair and whispering to her softly. Slowly her screams lessened, as did the pain apparent on her face. He continued to hold her until eventually her screams were just moans and small cries. It was then that he allowed himself to fall asleep.

Hermione awoke to the sound of a male's snoring early in the morning. She opened her eyes, confused as to where she was. As she looked around, she became aware of the strong arms wrapped tightly around her and the events of the night came rushing back. She must have fallen asleep on the sofa and had a nightmare. Of course she wouldn't have cast a silencing charm, so Malfoy must have heard her screaming and come out to see what was going on. What she was doing in his arms was beyond her though. She felt oddly comfortable in his embrace, and just lay allowing herself a few guilty minutes. Then she remembered her nightmare- and that Malfoy was to blame for it. She twisted away from him and practically leapt across the room. How could she have enjoyed being in the arms of some one so vile? Sure she had been nice to him for a while, but that was just because things needed to get done. She could be somewhat civil, but she would never allow herself to be in that position again. Ever. Malfoy woke up at her abrupt movements and groggily looked around. When his eyes fell on Hermione's murderous glare, he sat up.

"What the hell do you think you were doing?" She demanded.

"You were screaming and so I just- You wouldn't stop." He explained lamely.

"So you decided it would be a good idea to hold me?"

"I decided it would be a good idea to contain your thrashing about so you wouldn't fall off the couch." He corrected. Okay so maybe he had been holding her, but if this was how she was reacting he wasn't about to let her know that.

"Well maybe you should have just minded your own business. I can handle myself." She snapped.

"Oh I will from now on. If this is how you repay people who help you then no wonder the Weasel left you." He yelled. She was such an ungrateful little bitch! Her face registered hurt at his comment, then rage.

"Help me? You think that you helped me? You're one of the bloody reasons why it happens in the first place! If you had just stopped it, or lied to them about us, then maybe I wouldn't be this way." She yelled, her voice catching a little at the end of her sentence. Draco stopped short. Of course. He had seen that look on her face when Bellatrix had been torturing her at the Malfoy Manor.

"If you had just had the courage to stop her, or at least lie and let us go, this wouldn't be happening!" She cried. So that was why she was being like this. He was at a loss for words. He felt absolutely terrible.

"I would be able to sleep soundly at night. I wouldn't be so bloody different. And maybe I wouldn't have this constant and painful reminder of the whole reason it happened- Something I have no bloody control over. But it is something that has plagued me ever since second year. When you called me it. I have never, and will never be free of the fact that I'm a muggle-born." She cried, drawing up her sleeve to reveal the horrible scar that his aunt had given her. On her left arm read the word mudblood. He had seen the 'd' last night, no wonder she stormed off when he mentioned it. He looked away, unable to look at the scar on her arm. It was a horrible reminder to him as well, of the coward that he was.

"Hermione I-" He started.

"Don't. I know that you were raised that way. I know that you will never change. It's who you are. You're nothing but a coward and a pureblood death eater. You'll never learn that our blood is the same. It doesn't make me any less magical than you, or any less talented, or any less of a person." She said. Her words hurt him more than he could fathom. No one's words had affected him this way, not even his fathers. She was speaking the words that he thought of himself, but it hurt so much more coming from her. Apparently Hermione took his silence as defiance though, because she drew her wand. Malfoy put his hands up to show his harmlessness. Was Hermione actually going to hurt him?

"You don't believe me do you? What will it take for you to see that I'm a bloody person Malfoy!" With that, she traced a line across her hand with her wand. Draco watched in horror as blood poured out of the gash.

"Do you see now? Our blood is the same! There's no mud in there, it's the same as yours. It's just blood." She continued. Draco looked away from the blood trailing down her hand, unable to face the truth.

"Look at it Malfoy! I need you to see that my blood is no different from yours, aside from the fact that it doesn't make me feel entitled to the whole bloody world. I'm a fucking person too." She yelled. Her voice cracked on the last word, and she broke down.

Hermione rarely broke down at all let alone in front of people, but something inside her had snapped. She needed to let it all out in a way that would actually work. She had needed to release her pent up anger and sadness that had been building up for years. The Gryffindor golden girl was unraveling right before Draco Malfoy's eyes. If this was the first time she had let go completely, then he was surprised she had lasted this long. He admired her strength at having lasted so long without breaking after all she had been through, and he admired her for not letting her blood status ruin her life like he had. He felt the strange urge to go over and hug her, to make her feel better, but he knew that he couldn't. He was the reason that she was so distraught; going near her would only make things worse. She had saved his life, and all he had done for her was cause her pain. He didn't know what to do. He couldn't just walk away from her, not when she was hurting so much. He took a step towards her, but she backed away from him, tears still streaming down her face, blood still dripping down her hand and arm. He took another step towards her, and she backed up into the side of the tent.

"Don't touch me." She warned him. He ignored her and grabbed her hand. He traced his wand along her cut, muttering the incantation to heal cuts. Hermione tried to yank her hand away, but he was much stronger and held it in place. When he was finished, he released her hand.

"I'm sorry. I didn't want you to hurt anymore because of me." He told her, then walked away. Hermione stood there, stunned for a moment. Then she picked up the thing nearest to her and hurled it at him. It was her copy of Hogwarts: A History. Hermione winced a little bit at hurting the book, but felt satisfied when it hit him in the back. Draco stopped for a second and looked back at her. Hermione was puzzled when she saw the look in his eyes, but he turned away and continued back to his room. She stood there, tears still streaming down her face, the blood beginning to dry on her arm, trying to figure out Draco Malfoy. She hated him more than anything, but there was something about him that seemed different. The look in his eyes was haunting to Hermione. There was so much darkness there that she couldn't place the emotions. Nonetheless, her feelings towards him hadn't changed. She still blamed him for her pain and suffering, and the pain and suffering of her loved ones. But deep down she knew that it wasn't really his fault- she just needed some one to blame. It gave her an outlet for her pent up emotions, which desperately needed an escape, and she could rationalize her outburst because he could have potentially prevented everything that had happened to her.

"I hate you!" She screamed after him, followed by a colourful string of hateful words. Then she collapsed to the floor in an exhausted and emotional wreck. Draco heard her yelling from his room, but it didn't really phase him. It was nothing that he wasn't already saying to himself anyhow.

When he got back into his room, he just laid on his bed and listened to Hermione's crying, wishing that he could do something about it. He didn't want her to hurt anymore. He didn't want to cause anyone pain anymore. He had done enough of that in his past, something that he deeply regretted.

He thought back to the day that the horrid Fenrir Greyback had brought Hermione and her friends back to the Manor. He had been so torn about what to do. If he flat out lied to the Death Eaters and they later found out, he would be killed- or worse, his mother would be. If he had told them the truth, the Dark Lord would have surely been summoned and they would be killed. He forced himself to watch Hermione's torture so that he wouldn't be perceived as weak by the others. Looking back, this made him more weak than he had realized. Watching Hermione, one of the strongest people he knew, scream out in agony was one of the hardest things he's ever had to see- and he's seen a lot of horrible things. When she looked up at him with pleading eyes, he almost broke and tried to force Bellatrix to stop. But he knew that his mother's life was on the line and the Hermione was strong, so he didn't do anything. When Hermione pleaded for death, his instincts screamed for him to do something, but his mother grabbed his hand and he stopped himself yet again. Watching Hermione's torture was so scarring for Draco that he still had nightmares about it, so he couldn't imagine what it must have been like for her.

Draco decided that he couldn't just sit there and do nothing while Hermione was suffering in the next room over. He had no idea what he could do seeing as she hated him so much- not that he blamed her. He decided on just going out and making sure she was alright. When he walked out into the common area, his heart broke at what he saw. Hermione was lying on the ground in a fetal position, clutching her left arm and crying quietly.

"Hermione?" Draco said quietly. He wasn't quite sure why he used her first time, or why he spoke to her at all. Her head snapped up, and she wiped her tears and uncurled herself. He admired her strength and her will to not show weakness.

"What do you want Malfoy? The shows over." She spat.

"I just wanted to make sure you were okay I guess." He said nervously. Why was he saying all this? He didn't want to make her hurt anymore, but he didn't actually care about her! Right? Hermione let out a short laugh.

"Stop pretending Malfoy, I'm not stupid. You couldn't care less about me. You've proved that time and time again." Malfoy tensed at her words. He wished he could take everything he'd done back- and not just to her. He wished he could take back every bad deed he'd ever done, and there were quite a few.

"I've made a lot of mistakes in my time- I know that. I- I'm sorry for the pain I've caused you in the past I guess." He forced out. It wasn't easy for him to show any emotion or care, so it was especially difficult for him to apologize. But this was something he had to do. He was going to try to fix things; he was just going to have to be in baby steps.

"Well I don't need your bullshit apologies." Malfoy nodded.

"I wouldn't accept them either." He said before turning around and walking away. At least he had tried.

A/N: Okay, so I know that this is out of character for Hermione, but it just had to be done. She'll be back to herself soon enough! Let me know what you thought of all this, I'm kind of worried about how it came out! Review Review Review please! Thanks :))