CHAPTER FOUR: FRIENDS, FAMILY AND FAMILIARITY

I woke up to a knock on my door. "Bell's, can I come in?"

Drowsy, I said "Yeah, common in."

Charlie walked in with caution, obviously hoping he wouldn't catch me in my skivvies. "Dad, seriously it's fine."

He walked over to my bed and sat down. "How are ya feeling'?"

"I'm feeling a lot better actually. I always slept well in this bed."

"That's good. Alright, you might want to get out of bed and get ready. People should be showing up here within the next hour or so."

"Alright, I'll be down soon."

"Alrighty."

Charlie walked out and shut my door. I seriously felt great. I felt like a new Bella. Or the old Bella, I wasn't sure. But whoever I woke up as, I liked her. I felt completely at ease. In Alaska I was always so paranoid and never focused on anything but keeping Edward satisfied, and making sure my school work was perfect. It was nice not worrying for once. And then it hit me like a ton of bricks! I was about to see people that haven't seen me in four years! What if they are disappointed in my appearance? And just as fast as I had my doubts, I had to shoo them away. There was no need to be scared with these people. They are my friends and family. I guess who I was most worried about was Sam Uley. The leader of the Wolf Pack. Would he be angry that I was back in town because of what I did to Jake? I knew I would be for sure.

I walked over to my bags that Charlie brought in for me and looked over to my desk. There, was a picture of Edward and I on my Graduation day. With haste I took the frame opened it up and tossed the photo. No need to waste such a pretty frame. It was a gift from Alice, and I didn't want her to think I didn't' appreciate the frame.

I took a cleansing breath and looked the mirror. "You can do this." I said aloud to myself. "You are strong, determined and grown up. Believe in yourself."

I opened my bag and pulled out all of my clothes. What do you where to a barbeque these days? Every piece of clothing I own anymore is what Edward liked to see me in. Elegant designer pieces. All I wanted was some washed out jeans and a tee. I did the next best thing and pulled out a pair of dark denim skinny jeans, black knee high flat bottom riding boots and a purple silk top that draped in the front. The front came down a little too far, so I sifted through some cami's in my suitcase and chose a black lace cami to put on underneath. As for my hair, I just brushed it and threw some de-frizzer in and called it good. I took one last look over myself and walked out the door.

As I came down the stairs I heard a knock at the door. I stood there and smiled as Charlie walked to the door to open it to Billy Black, my dads best friend and Jakes dad. He was at the bottom of the steps with Sue Clearwater.

"Hey Billy, that's for coming."

Billy laughed. "Are you kidding me? Who am I to pass up so much food."

Charlie laughed as he walked down the stairs to get Billy and his wheelchair up the few steps into the house. I took a deep breath to prepare myself for the moment Billy sees me. Charlie backs Billy inside and Sue is the first to see me. Her eyes looked as if they were going to pop out of her head. Then Charlie turned Billy around. Billy looked like he seen a ghost. As far as they knew, I had moved away with Edward so he could change me. They didn't yet know that I was still human. I walked the last few steps down and hugged Billy. I felt him stiffen under my touch. I whispered as fast as I could. "Billy, I'm still me. I didn't let him go through with it. I'm human." With that his composer completely changed. He relaxed is my arms and wrapped his arms around me.

"It's so wonderful to see you Bella! I wasn't expecting this at all." He looked over at Charlie. "Does ANYONE know that Bella is in town?" He let out with a chuckle.

"No Billy, I wanted it to be a surprise to everyone."

"Well, it sure was a surprise, that's for sure. In more ways than one." Billy sending me a wink on the sly.

After that it was like everyone was showing up at the same time. I received so many hugs and welcome homes, I didn't have a chance at keeping track. Everyone was so happy to see me, and to so they were surprised would be an understatement. Sam and Emily, Quill, Embry and Seth had gotten there a while ago and they were the most excited to see me. Especially Seth.

"Bella! I can't believe your home! When did you get back?"

" Early this morning." I said with a smile.

Emily swatted Seth away. "It's my turn! It's so wonderful to see you Bella. You look so beautiful. You haven't aged a day!"

I could see Sam stiffen and right away in knew what he was thinking. I looked at them both and said "trust me, I have aged." I whispered. "I just couldn't let him do it."

Sam looked at me and said with a sigh of relief. "We are all proud of you Bella. I know it took a lot for you to walk away from him and the family."

"It was, but this is what I was meant to do and where I was meant to be."

After everyone arrived and I said all of my hello's and received all of my welcome homes, things settled down. And it turned into a barbeque. It was so nice just being around all of my friends talking and eating and genuinely enjoying the time I was spending with all of these people. I realized how much I missed this. I made my way over to Billy. I had some confessions. Billy was talking with Charlie by the grill. "Billy, can I steal you away for a few minutes?"

"Absolutely, is everything alright?"

"I know that it could be." I let out with a weak smile. I wheel Billy into the house and head towards the kitchen. I stop him next to the kitchen table and sit down. I look up at him and start to cry.

"Bella, relax. What is it that you wanted to say to me?"

"I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to hurt Jake. Jake was right. Edward was like a drug to me, and one day I would realize it. But now it's too late, Jake is gone and he's probably forgotten all about the girl that broke his heart forever ago." I couldn't stop crying

Billy put his hand on mine. "Bella, he didn't forget you. Jacob would never forget you. He's coming home Bella. You'll see him soon."

I look up at him, shame in my eyes. "What if he doesn't want to see me, or what if he does see me and walks away from me?"

"You have to be strong Bella. You may have made a mistake four years ago, but your making it right, right now. I haven't seen your father this happy since your graduation day."

"I miss him so much Billy. I dream about him almost every night. He consumes my every thought and it's him that gave me the strength to walk away from Edward. And now he's not here, and I don't even know if he'll want anything to do with me anymore. I betrayed him in the worst way possible. I admitted that I loved him and did the most awful thing by moving away. I was so blinded by Edward. Jake was right when he said that he was my sun and Edward was my drug. I don't want to be an addict anymore. I want to enjoy the sun."

"One month Bella. Just one month, and he'll be home. Your questions can only be answered by him."

"Once month." I said after taking a deep breath.

Billy broke the silence, "how about we get back to this welcome home party of yours."

I gave him a weak smile. "Sounds like a plan."

After about 2 hours the party started to dissipate. Billy and Sue were the last to leave. We walked Billy and Sue to the door, and Billy turned around and faced me. "Everything is going to work out Bella."

I bent down to give him a hug and said, "Thanks Billy."

Charlie and I waved as Sue and Billy drove away. I got right to work cleaning, hoping to get Jacob off of my mind for a little while. It took me an hour or so to get everything cleaned up with Charlie's help. After we were all finished I told Charlie that I needed to turn in for the night.

My legs were heavy underneath me as I was walking up the stairs. I decided that I wanted to take a bath. As soon as I turned the water on, I heard the phone ring.

"Hello, Swan residence." Charlie said

"Oh, hey Billy. What's going on?"

Charlie was quiet for a good minute or so and then he said in a hushed tone, "He's HOME?…...She's not ready yet Billy…..I don't know if she can handle seeing him yet….. Ok. Alright, fishing tomorrow then?… eight. Alright, see you tomorrow then." And then he hung up the phone.

Oh my god! Jake? He's home? A part of me was the happiest woman on the planet, but my nerves were working up a storm. All of a sudden I was throwing myself at the toilet.

After a while of spilling my guts, I got undressed and got into my bath. I laid there as I let the hot water soothe my muscles. I started thinking about Jacob, and how it would feel to be in his arms. I remembered our HOT kiss on the cliff. I started breathing heavily and squeezing my legs together. I thought about his hands running all over my wet, naked body. Him putting his mouth on my breast as he rubs the most sensitive part of me. Before I realized it, by hands were down on my pussy rubbing vigorously . "Jake." I moaned out loud. Quickly I clamped one hand over my mouth, hoping Charlie didn't hear my confession of passion. I flicked my clit imagining that it was Jakes mouth on my pussy, flicking my clit with his tongue. I quickly dug my middle and first finger deep within my walls and began pumping them in and out of me with haste. "Jake, oh my god yes, Jake." I began to feel my walls contract around my fingers and I knew my time was close. I was on the verge of an explosive orgasm. I started slamming my fingers in and out of me as hard and fast as I could manage. I closed my eyes and imagined Jake in all of his glory pumping himself in and out of me. Here it was. "Jake!" I screamed. "shit!" I heard footsteps coming up the stairs.

"Bells, is everything alright up there? I just heard you scream."

"Yeah dad, everything's fine. I just seen a big spider, and it freaked me out."

"Alright, I'm heading to bed. Billy and I are going fishing in the morning. Do you need anything before I go lay down?"

"No, I'm good. Thanks dad, I'll see you in the morning.

"Night Bells."

"Night Dad."

My heart was beating a million times a minute. I can't believe my dad almost caught me in such a vulnerable state. I can't believe I just had a sex fantasy about Jake! I stood up and grabbed my towel. I stepped out of the bathtub and dried off. I put my bathrobe on and started drying off my hair as I walked out of the bathroom. I headed into my bedroom and stopped remembering the conversation my dad just had with Billy. HE'S BACK? Did that mean Jake was home early from Afghanistan? Could I be seeing him as early as tomorrow? I wasn't prepared for this. I had no idea what I was even going to say.

I started pacing around my bedroom in my bathrobe. I had to think of what I was going to say to him. "Hey Jake, nice to see you…Hey Jake, long time, no see." I can't believe this is going to happen. I'm not even sure that he even wants to come and see me. How that I know he even has an interest in how I'm doing. I tore his heart to shreds and showed no remorse in the end. Who am I to assume he'll even take the time to care? I didn't blame him if he didn't. But I had to figure out what the hell I was going to say. "Jake, I made a mistake. I don't love him. Not anymore. You were right, he was the drug. You were my sun. I couldn't live in the dark anymore. I can't live the lie. I love you Jacob Black."

"What did you just say?" The voice came from behind me near my window.

Startled, my knees gave out and I fell to the floor.

I couldn't breath.