CHAPTER FIVE: TRUE LOVES KISS

"Jake" I said as I was trying to get air in my lungs. " I'm not ready for this."

Jake coughed, "Would you like me to turn around?" I just realized that my robe was almost completely exposing the bare skin of my chest.

I quickly covered myself and sat there. I couldn't bring myself to look at him.

"Bella" he said it like he had to convince himself that I was there in front of him.

"Yes Jake."

"This is a hell of welcome home gesture." He looked away from me. "How many bloodsuckers are here, and how long are you all going to be in town?"

"You all?"

"Yes, YOU all. How long are you leeches going to be in town?"

His words cut through me like a knife. He thought that I was one of them. The look of disgust on his face was the most gut wrenching feeling I have ever experienced. I didn't want him looking at me like this for another minute. "Jake, can you step closer to me?"

"No, I think I'm alright back here."

"Jake really. You'll feel better about being in here with me if you do." I pleaded. He took two steps towards me and held his breath. "Jake, Please."

He took a deep breath and fell to his knees . "You smell just like I remembered you."

"I didn't let him change me Jake. I'm still Bella. If you touch me, I'm still warm." I pulled my knees up to my chest and looked at my toes. "I haven't felt the same way about Edward for about 2 years now. At first I put if off and said that I wanted to wait until after I graduated College. That gave me four years. We both just grew apart. Well, I grew apart from him. He was crushed when I left I just couldn't pretend anymore. I realized what you meant when you said that he was like a drug to me. I want sunlight. I love you Jake."

"Bella, You haven't even looked at me."

"I'm scared you wont like what you see anymore."

"Bella, let me help you up." He reached his hand down to help me up. I was reluctant to put my hand in his, but I quickly scorned my self. 'Bella, It's Jake.' I put my hand in his and an electric current passed through me. When I was on my feet, I looked Jacob in the eyes for the first time in 4 years.

And then out of no where it was like he was floating, and the only thing keeping him tethered to the ground was Bella. All of a sudden, she was the only thing he could see. Nothing else in the room seemed to matter. The girl he loved was right in front of him. She was still her. She was still the girl that left him four years ago. And now, she was the girl he would be with for the rest of his life. He finally imprinted.

What I seen took my breath away. There he was in all his glory. Head to toe in Army ACU's. I'm not going to lie, it was a huge turn on. He looked great in that uniform. Strong, independent and sexy as hell. He took of his blouse to reveal big, strong , defined arms. I instantly thought of what it would feel like to have them wrapped around me.

"Are you going to say something?" I asked. He looked to be in complete shock. "Jacob?"

It took him a minute to come back to reality. "I miss you."

"I miss you too Jake. How did you find out that I was home?"

"I told my dad that I was coming over to see Charlie. And he was acting very strange. He didn't want me to come over here at all. He said that is was a bad idea to come here tonight and that I should come and see Charlie while they are fishing in the morning. He didn't want me in this house tonight. I had to know why. I was driving up to the house and I seen your bedroom window was open. I didn't exactly know you were here until I came in through the window. I can't believe you're here Bella."

"I know I don't deserve to be here. I hurt everyone by leaving the way I did. I regret hurting you the way I did the most. I was so stupid Jake. So stupid. I'm so sorry."

Out of no where, Jake closes the space between us. Grabs me by my waste and kisses me softly. I was so shocked that I barely had time to react before the kiss was over. He backed about three feet away leaving me breathless.

"I'm sorry Bella."

I looked up in fear. "Sorry for what ?"

"For kissing you like that. It was disrespectful."

"Will you disrespect me again?" I asked looking under hooded eyes. I walked over to my bed and sat down.

"Can you put some clothes on first? I might not be able to control the wolf in me if you don't."

"Alright, turn around." I said as I walked over to my bag. I let my robe slip off of my shoulders as I was looking through my clothes. I decided on a pair of boy shorts and a tank top. "Alright, you can turn back around now."

"Whoa. Bella, I was thinking some sweatpants and a baggy tee shirt." He chuckled.

"Is this uncomfortable for you?"

"No, I think I'll survive."

I walked toward him slowly, thinking to myself 'don't be afraid, don't be afraid.' I could barely reach the back of his neck. I stood on my tippie toes and I put both of my hands behind his neck and kissed him. He deepened the kiss and grabbed my ass with both hands and lifted my feet off of the floor. I wrapped both of my legs around his waist and kissed him with urgency. Finally he laid us down on the bed and our kiss deepened. Our hands explored each others bodies, every inch of us touching. I could feel his erection against my womanhood and wetness pooled in my underwear. We couldn't get close enough to each other. Finally Jake inhaled deeply and said with a huge smile on his face "Alright, we need to calm down." God damnit wolf senses!

"Ok. I said shyly" He rolled to the side and took a deep cleansing breath. He laid there on his back with his hands behind his head. I rolled onto my stomach and ran my hands through his very short hair. "Tell me Jake, I want to know what your life has been like."

For hours we laid there… He told me about his destructive tendencies after I left. The girls, the booze, the bad.

"After I graduated I decided that I needed change in my life. One day I went to the fair with Leah, and seen an Army National Guard recruiters booth, and for some reason it clicked. This was what I was supposed to do. This is what I needed, you know? So I joined up that day. This was my first deployment." I sat up a little bit.

"Is this something that you want to retire from?" I asked. I was genuinely interested.

"I don't know. I mean, I love what I do. I'm good at it. I guess it just depends when the time comes."

"When the time comes for what?"

"When my contract is up, I can either decide to re-enlist, or I can leave the Guard. I'm going to be going to College here soon. The Army will be paying for the whole thing."

"Wow Jake, it sounds like you have everything figured out." I said with a weak smile. I didn't know where I fit in his life anymore.

"Actually, I'm not sure at all what I want to do."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm really confused Bella. I don't know what to think, what to feel."

"Jake, I don't expect you to forgive me. At least not right away. I understand that I hurt you. I betrayed you Jake. You didn't deserve what I did to you. I'll understand if you don't want to see me after tonight." With that, I got up and walked out of my bedroom. I didn't want him to see my cry. I shut the door behind me and ran to the bathroom. I figured that if he knew I understood that he would feel free to leave. I shut and locked the door to the bathroom and just laid on the floor and cried. My heart hurt so bad. It wasn't more then two minutes that there was a knock at the door.

"Bella, please unlock this door." It was Jacob. I GOT it, why is he still here? I didn't answer him. I didn't want him to hear me, let alone see me like this. "Bella, Charlie is asleep. Would you like him to stay that way?"

"Jake, you don't have to take pity on me. I understand that I hurt you too much. I don't deserve forgivness. God knows, I'll never forgive myself for what I did to you. You don't have to stay here."

"God damnit Bella! If I didn't want to be here with you, I would have turned around the second I came through that window! Can't you see that I still love you? Bella please open the door. If you don't , you better move, because I'll be kicking it in within the next thirty seconds."

"Jake, please. I'm begging you, I don't want you to see me like this."

"Bella, it doesn't matter. You hurting me right now. Is that what you want? You want to hurt me more than you already have?"

"I guess I deserved that."

"Bella, please, just let me in."

I slowly opened the door, "Not by the hair of my chinnie chin chin." I forced a pathetic smile.

Jake took a step inside and took my face in his hands. Wiping away tears he said " If these tears are for me,

I at least should be the one to wipe them away, don't you think?"

"I didn't want you to see me like this Jake. This is all my fault. You shouldn't have to see ME cry about it."

"Come home with me tonight."

I was flabbergasted. "You want me to come home with you? Shouldn't you say something to Billy about that first?"

"Bella. Bella, Bella, Bella. A lot has changed in the past four years. I don't live with my dad anymore. I own my own garage, and I'm in the Army. I'm doing fine for myself."

"You neglected to mention the garage."

"That was meant to be a surprise. Surprise! I want us to be alone. I want to know you again. I want to kiss you again, and frankly I don't feel comfortable doing that in Charlies house to be honest. And actually, there is something that I want to tell you. But please don't make me do it here. It's something very personal. Please? For me?"

How could I deny this man? "If that's what you want ." I said with a smile.

"It is."

Oh Boy.