Chapter 14: "The bitter end"

Larten Crepsley stood in front of the mirror and buttoned down his fresh new shirt. He had to change clothes, because his suit had been soaked with blood.
Gillian's blood.
He pulled on a jacket and sighed. He was worried what the future would bring. This night had changed everything.
The vampire looked up, because someone entered the tent.
Gillian's sight took his breath away.
She wore an elegant low-cut evening dress that he had never before seen on her. Her skin was of a pristine white and her black hair flowed around her like water.
As his gaze slid down her body, it remained attached to the boots she wore.
His heart pounded as he realized, that it was the one he presented to her and she had not even tried on.
It made him happy to see, that she was wearing them now.
And that they seemed to fit her.
Gillian had stopped and looked back at the old vampire.
At his sight her heart throbbed pleasantly, like always.
She blushed slightly as she noticed how he looked at her.
She quickly walked across the carpet towards him.
An acrid smell rose from the carpet into her nose. It was matted with dried blood.
Larten Crepsley saw how she crinkled her nose and said: "I fear that the carpet will never be the same."
Gillian smiled: "His time was up."
Without a word she grabbed a scarf and wrapped it around Lartens neck and helped him to close the last button of his shirt.
His fingers touched hers and a pleasant tingling sensation spread through her.
She stepped back and looked at her work.
The vampire with the orange- red hair and the scar across his face had not changed. Only the amused twinkle in his eyes seemed more intense than usual.
It made him more attractive than ever before.
Larten raised an eyebrow and scanned Gillian from top to bottom.
He ended with an appreciative whistle through his teeth. "You look stunning, vampiress Gillian."
Gillian's heart beat. "Thank you."
He raised a hand and stroked her cheek. Gillian closed the eyes with a sigh, enjoying the feel of his rough hand on her face.
When she opened her eyes again, he stood very close to her.
She clung to his hand, like a cat.

It needed not much more, and she would start to purr.
"I did not want it to happen this way." Lartens voice sounded husky.
"You're not to blame", Gillian whispered.
"I am. I should have realized how important it is to you. I should have foreseen, how far you would go. "
Gillian felt a lump in her throat. "I would not ... I was just so hurt ... I never would have ..."
Larten looked at her attentively.
His hand reached under her chin and forced her to look him in the eye. "Yes, Gillian, you would have", growled the vampire.
Tears flooded her eyes.
"I ...", she stammered. "I wanted ... I just wanted that ... that you love me." Her voice broke.
Larten had a firm grip, the pressure of his hand hurt her.
"Do you know why I did not want to make you a vampire?"
Gillian's heart beat.
Please understand, I can`t ... he had said to her, when she had gone with Gavner Purl.
What had he meant?
Her breath came quickly as she tried to fathom what the vampire had meant.
His blood flowed in her veins, and she was so closely connected to him as never before.
She had read in his mind like an open book.
This connection already began to faint.
Gillian noticed with desperate, that again the distance between her and Larten Crepsley grew with every minute.
She rummaged in her memory.
What had Larten felt for her?
What was it, that she was able to read in his mind, before the pain had wiped out all clear thinking?
"You do not trust me." She said in the end and swallowed.
It did hurt to say it out loud.
Larten did let her go.
She could still feel where the pressure to her chin where his fingers had been. He had grabbed her hard.
She stifled the impulse to rub the spot on her skin.
"But now ... now you trust me?", she asked alarmed.
Larten turned his back on her and walked to his chair.
"Larten!", Gillian called.
She tried to read in him, why he did not trust her.
"Why? I've never given you reason ... You ...you think… do you think … I have something evil inside of me?"
Larten Crepsley looked over his shoulder.
"Because of my ability to hide myself in darkness?"
The vampire paused and reached for the carafe. He poured some blood into a glass and looked at the red liquid.
"This is an unusual skill, Gillian."
Gillian thought back to the day on which she had conjured up the darkness for the very first time. It had also been the day, Larten Crepsley had invited her to join the circus ...

She had met the vampire the very first time on the bridge.
Larten Crepsley had seen the young woman on the railing, handed her over a ticket for the Cirque du Freak, and was gone.
The next evening at the show he saw her in the auditorium, and he had been pleased that she had come.
So, the woman had not jumped from the bridge.
No, Gillian had not jumped.
She had never planned to do it anyway.
She had just wanted to feel the delicious tingling sensation in her stomach and the adrenaline in her blood. When the strange man with the scar and the orange-red hair had handed her the ticket she had been stunned.
And had gone to the show.
As Larten Crepsley then entered the stage, her heart skipped a beat.
This was the man who had appeared so mysteriously and vanished out of a sudden!
He wanted her to come to this show, and now she was here.
He opened his performance with the words: "Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. I am so excited to be here in an anonymous small town that once had character but is now just a bland suburb filled with chain stores and surrounded by slum."
An awkward silence fell in the audience.
Larten Crepsley continued: "It really is a pleasure to be here, and I feel SO honored that bla blah bla and so on and so forth and excetera adnosium."
Meanwhile, he lifted his top hat and a huge, blue-red spider crawled out from underneath.
Gillian had watched fascinated his dressage with Madam Octa.
Who was this man?
The trained spider was amazing, and even if a shiver ran down her spine at the sight of the hideous spider, she felt more and more attracted by the man who played on the flute.
Larten Crepsley had also looked at Gillian interestingly.
During the whole performance he felt, how she stared at him.
After the show, Gillian had been hanging around near the stage door, hoping to meet Mr Crepsley.
But he had not appeared.
Confused and sad, she returned to her small cold apartment, and tried to understand why her heart was pounding so excitedly at the thought of this man.
He was fascinating!
So she went in the following night again to the show of the Cirque du Freak, and sat down in the back of the auditorium.
Larten Crepsley still discovered the young woman, as he peered through the curtain.
So she had returned?
That was not good. He had not planned that.
Apparently he now had a small fan.
The vampire sighed.
He decided to go out of the way of the young woman until her interest in him had gone. Tomorrow this would be the last performance of the Cirque du Freak in this city. Then they will move on, and the young suicide girl might soon forget him.
He finished his performance, without giving a single glance at Gillian, and disappeared quickly after the show, when he saw, that the woman waited at the stage door keeping a lookout for him.
Gillian had been desperate.
She wanted so bad to talk to this unusual man.
He had given her the ticket, he had recognized her in the first performance, she had felt that he had looked at her!
Why did he went out of her way? It must have had a meaning, that he had lured her here!
Gillian bought a ticket for the show the following evening. She knew it would be the last performance of the Cirque du Freak.
She would talk to Mr Crepsley this time by all means.
The following night, Larten Crepsley entered the stage by flitting in from behind the curtain. Like every time a murmur went through the crowd.
He noticed the young suicide girl. She sat in the front row this time, and stared at him with burning eyes.
Mr Creplsey began with his number.
All the while he felt her attention on him.
Although it was flattering the old vampire that a young girl had apparently fallen in love with him.
And this girl had, admittedly, something fascinating in herself.
She was not only young and pretty.
He had seen her fight.
And he had seen her desperate, standing on the railing of a bridge, ready to jump down.
And because he began to feel attracted to this young woman himself, he wanted to avoid contact with her at any means.
That was the last thing that Larten Crepsley needed.
To fall in love again.
He stole a glance at the young suicide.
He almost laughed.
It was delicious to watch as her face reflected her feelings: she was both fascinated by the vampire and repelled of the spider.
Then Larten Crepsley had a sudden idea.
He sat Madam Octa on his shoulder and announced that he would ask for the next number one helper from the audience onto the stage.
In the hall all breathing had stopped. No one wanted to volunteer to the stage.
Larten grinned broadly, made a few dancing steps forward, and addressed the young woman. He bowed slightly, and then stretched out his hand to her.
Gillian had stared at him in horror-eye.
Her eyes darted back and forth between Lartens face and the spider on his shoulder.
Larten had a ripping good moment.
Then Gillian had taken his hand.
He had nodded appreciatively, and led her onto the stage.
After he had told the audience how dangerous it was, what he planned to do now, and inculcated the young woman on stage, not to scream or move quickly, he put the flute to his lips.
The young suicide had been paralyzed with fear.
Her fear and loathing of the spider were clearly greater than her interest in him.
Larten inwardly congratulated himself.
According to his idea the young woman would only remember the fear and disgust and she would forget her infatuation with the silly circus clown soon.
Pleased with himself Larten played a tune and let Octa slowly move from his arm to Gillian's shoulder.
From the corner of his eye he got, that director Tall cast him warning glances from behind the curtain, and he flatly meant to stop this unplanned number.
They never took someone from the audience.
Madam Octa was just too dangerous.
But Larten Crepsley meant that he had everything under control and let the spider crawl up at the neck of the young woman.
The suicide was frozen with fear.
She had been holding her breath, eyes and lips pressed together and just prayed that it would end quickly.
When she felt the ticklish touch of the hairy legs around her neck panic were creeping up inside her.
Gillian wanted so much to hold out, wanted to show no fear in front of Mr Crepsley, wanted to impress him, not to disappoint him ... She were aware that she stood in the glare of the spotlights and all eyes were on her.
I'm not here, nobody sees me.
She started to pray an old mantra from her childhood. I'm not here, nobody sees me. I'm not here, nobody sees me. I'm not here, nobody sees me.
Gillian became calm, it was as if she would come loose from the world as if a veil fell between her and her surroundings.
Even the disgusting spider that now crept up her head, was far away.
It was not her affair. I'm not here, nobody sees me.
Larten Crepsley had watched with amusement as the woman endured with closed eyes and bated breath the procedure.
He had to admit that the suicide had courage.
And self-discipline.
Then the light changed in the hall.
The vampire was as if the lights had been dimmed.
He glanced up, without taking his lips from the flute. But the spotlights still appeared bright and unchanged.
Now a murmur went through the hall.
He looked quickly back to the woman.
And could not believe his eyes.
It was as if her black dress became liquefy or turned into smoke.
Because where the woman was standing it became darker and darker, and her figure melted into the black backdrop.
But this was not a special effect from the show.
He looked at Mr. Tall, who gave excited signals.
Something was going on.
Mr Crepsley hastily changed the melody on the flute and plucked Madam Octa from the woman's head.
It was as if he tugged his hand into ink.
He stuffed the spider in his coat pocket and exclaimed: "A big applause for my brave assistant, please", and made bows in all directions.
Applause came up only hesitantly.
Mr Crepsley did not wait, but seized the arm of the suicide and pulled her through a curtain onto the side stage.
Instantly it became bright again, and Mr. Tall rushed on stage to announce the next number.
On the side stage it was dark, and even Mr. Crepsleys vampire senses had difficulties to identify the woman in the darkness.
He pulled her by the arm and continued with it into his dressing room, where he sat Madam Octa back in her cage.
Then he turned to the woman. "It is alright, the spider is gone." As a precaution, he threw a cloth over the cage.
The woman had opened her eyes again though, but was still staring at him so scared that Larten had to laugh: "You can now breathe again!"
The woman took a breath.
Larten laughed softly again. He pointed to his chair: "Please sit down."
Gillian was still dazed.
She had noticed only marginal, that the man had pulled her off the stage.
What had happened?
Heart pounding, she realized that she was now alone with him in his dressing room.
She sat down slowly and stared at the man.
From close up, he looked even more intriguing. His skin was so white and his eyes had a strange glow. Her heart began to pound when she saw that the man looked at her interested.
"What have you just done on stage?"
"I do not know ... I've done something?"
"Yes. You've summoned a darkness."
Gillian stared at him open-mouthed. Was the man crazy? "Why have you brought me here?"
"In my dressing room?"
"No, in the Circus."
Larten Crepsley went silent. That was not good. The woman was looking for a meaning for living. She sought that meaning from him.
"Can you remember anything that happened on stage?"
Gillian frowned.
What had happened?
She had wished herself away, away from the gaze of the audience. She had imagined, she would be covered in darkness and nothing and no one can harm her.
But could she say this to the strange man?
"I ...", Gillian hesitated. "I imagined myself being covered in darkness."
"Do you do that often?"
"Sometimes", Gillian muttered embarrassed.
The vampire looked at the woman fascinated. He rubbed a hand over the scar on his face as he did so often, when he had to think.
"I have invited you into the circus, because this is a place for people who find no other place in life."
Gillian looked up at him, and her eyes glistened.
"In the Cirque du Freak travels outcasts, the homeless, the crippled, the orphans, adventurers in search for the meaning of life, and people with special talents."
Gillian's heart began to pound.
"I think you have a very special talent."
Gillian quickly stood up and built up in front of Larten Crepsley.
"Does that mean ... Does that mean, you offer me to go with you? I mean, with the circus?"
The vampire looked at her thoughtfully. Why not?
He nodded.
Gillian was beaming. Her heart pounded to her throat.
"Does that mean you are interested?"
"Yes!"
"This means that you have to leave your job, your friends and your family behind. We'll be traveling a lot. "
"No problem," Gillian said quickly. "I have nothing of it."
"No family?"
Gillian shook her head.
Excellent, thought the vampire.
"Then you go and pack up your things. But remember, we travel light. Tomorrow night the Cirque du Freak will leave. "
Gillian nodded eagerly. Before she left, she turned around to him once more and promised: "Thank you, Mr. Crepsley. I will not disappoint you. "

"You've invited me into the circus, because I had conjured up darkness on stage ", Gillian remembered.
They were in their tent and Gillian tried to find out what had caused the vampire fifteen years ago to take her with him.
"It was quite extraordinary, Gillian. You were still human. "
Gillian frowned.
She had never thought about it.
She felt as if she had the ability to merge with the shadows only developed when she had gained halfvampiric blood.
But now she remembered that this was not true.
There had previously been something.
As a child, the shadows had already whispered to her.
Larten walked over to his chair and sat down.
Thoughtfully he rubbed his forehead and pondered long before he asked: "Have you ever heard anything of the Queen of Air and Darkness?"
"The Queen of Air and Darkness? No ... what's that?"
"An old legend."
The vampire drummed his fingers on the armrest.
"A very old legend, almost forgotten. They say, she was a sorceress. And she had followers, the so-called "Shadowdancers". About the Queen has survived not much knowledge, but it is said about her followers, that they can conjure up a darkness, that could burn vampires on contact, such as sunlight. This ability makes vampires speak until today in fear of the Shadowdancers, even though they existed centuries ago and no one is left who claims to have seen them."
"Shadows, burning like sunlight?" A shiver ran down Gillians spine.
Larten nodded.
Gillian remembered, that she had summoned darkness and formed it into a weapon that burned Murlough. The point of the shoulder where she had hit him, had smoked, and looked as if burned.
Like burns from sunrays.
Gillian's hands began to tremble.
"Darren said he had seen, how you attacked Murlough with a kind of shadow whip."
Lartens dark eyes darted at his former student.
"Yes ...", she breathed. "I have not done this intentionally ... I was just defending myself. I did not know what effect it might have ... Larten! ", she knelt down at the feet of the vampire, and took his hand. "What is this power?"
He looked down at her hands, without taking them.
"I do not know. I've been watching you all these years. I have seen your strength became more formed. I was not going to make you into a vampire, before I have presented you to the vampire princes. I was not sure what would become of you… "
"Become of me?", Gillian cried indignantly and pulled her hand away. "What will become of me? I have myself under control. "
"You almost became a Vampaneze," growled the master vampire. "Do you call that, you have yourself in control?"
Gillian made a face. "Not the blood makes one a Vampaneze, but his deeds. You've said that yourself! Vampaneze and vampires have been once the same. Some had stopped to kill and the others not. Once you've killed yourself to drink! "
Larten was furious. "And yet it is the blood of our Master, which shapes us! You have experienced the transformation now! We are interconnected. Would you have wanted such a connection to Murlough?"
Gillian shot tears in her eyes: "Of course not. I never wanted."
Larten jumped up and nearly pushed her aside.
"How can I trust you? I've seen how you've beaten your fangs in his throat!"
Gillian gave way all the color from her face.
"That was just ... I just defended myself. He bit me! I saw no other way to kill him!"
Desperate, she looked up at Larten Crepsley, who looked down upon her with fury.
"I taught you not to fight that way! You wanted to transform! You wanted Murloughs blood!"
"No ...", Gillian whimpered.
She felt miserable and looked down at his boots.
"I've always wanted only yours."
Suddenly he grabbed her hair and forced her head up so she had to look him in the eyes: "Then swear it," he growled.
Gillian swallowed.
"Swear that you will always be on my side."
Gillian looked up at him, eyes burning.
"I am yours, Larten. I have always been yours."
The words had impact.

Lartens grip softened.
Nevertheless, he said: "I pray that the day will never come, when I must remind you of this oath."
He did let go of her hair.
Gillian took his hand and pressed her lips on them.
"And I pray that the day will come when I can proof you my loyalty."
Larten pulled her up on her feet.
The vampire and his former student now stood facing each other.
"I killed Murlough, Gillian."
"You had no choice."
Larten Crepsley looked worried.
He rubbed the back of his hand over the scar and involuntarily Gillian touched her chest. The scars that Murloughs claws had given her ached.
Larten put a hand around her shoulder and pulled her into his arms.
Gillian put her head on his chest with a sigh.
She listened to his soft heartbeat.
For a while the two were standing there together in silence.
Larten drove his hand gently through her hair.
"Why did you never let me go on stage in the circus? Did you want to keep my ability as a secret? ", Gillian asked.
The vampire nodded. "Yes. I had never seen anything like it, and I have investigated. It was not easy to find out, but I heard about the legends of the Shadowdancers. I had already made you into a halfvampire, and now I feared to have committed a mistake."
Gillian laughed softly. "And I thought you found me not good enough to make me perform in public. I've been practicing all nights long, to get better! "
"I know," said the vampire contrite. "I should have let you know. But the practice was not bad for you. "
"No, not bad," growled Gillian again, and pressed her face into the fabric of his waistcoat.
"I was afraid that the vampaneze might have interest in you."
Now Gillian looked up at him. "You've never said that!"
"Forgive me my weak heart. I did not want to scare you. Also, I was afraid you could switch sides. That's why I was so beside myself when I saw you with Murlough ... "
"Was that what you meant?" Gillian looked up at him wide-eyed.
"Hm?" Larten did not understand what she was referring to.
"That's what you said to me when I have gone away with Gavner Purl! Forgive me my weak heart. You... wanted not to lose me to someone else?"
Larten Crepsley looked contrite. "Certainly I did not want that. But back then I meant something else."
"What?" Gillian head already buzzed by now.
What else had been a reason against her, to not make her a vampire?
Larten took a deep breath.
He strode the delicate vampiress tenderly over the silky black hair, and looked at her sadly. "I can not give your life a sense."
Gillian furrowed her brow blankly.
"You have seen no meaning in your life as a human, and your life as a halfvampire also appeared meaningless for you."
Gillian wanted to protest, but Larten interrupted her.
"Yes, Gillian, your only goal was to become a vampire. But I'm sorry to have to tell you that nothing will change. Years, decades, centuries will pass and you will find no meaning. The eternity that was given to you, makes everything worse. You now do not believe me, you are young and everything still seems exciting and thrilling to you. But one day you will see the futility of it all. I can not give you any answers, Gillian. I could not at that time on the bridge, and I can not now. The day will come, when you will curse Larten Crepsleys blood in your veins."
Gillian wrapped her arms around his neck and smiled at him with moist eyes.
"That's it? That is why you didn`t wanted to make me a vampire ...?"
Larten swallowed. "Mostly, yes. I did not want to do this to you. "
"Larten ...", Gillian whispered. Finally she understood everything. "You fool!"
The vampire frowned.
"Our existence has no meaning, Gillian. The only thing waiting for you and me, is a violent death. Not even to die peaceful in our sleep is granted to us."
Gillian took the furrowed face of the old vampire in both hands and pulled him close.
"But I see a few things that are worth living for."
She kissed Larten tenderly.
The vampire did not respond initially. Then his lips went soft and he answered the kiss slowly.
After a while Gillian broke away from him, and grinned at him.
It sparkled in the eyes of the old vampire.
He cleared his throat. "The sun rises soon."
Gillian could feel it, too.
Larten looked at his coffin. "We have to get you an own coffin, soon."
Gillian took his hand and pulled him over to his coffin.
She smiled mischievously as she pushed the lid aside, and began to climb in.
"That's no rush for it."
Larten Crepsley grinned wryly and climbed next to the vampiress in the coffin.
The lid closed over the two, while orange light appeared on the horizon, the sun rose and the Cirque du Freak slowly came to life.

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To be continued ...

The Vampires student Part III: "Vampire Mountain"

OUT NOW ! .net/s/7914575/1/The_Vampires_Student_Part_III_Vampire_Mountain