More than useless
°~°{ I feel like, I would like,
to be somewhere else doing something that matters,
And I'll admit here while I sit here,
My mind walks away and my doubts start to gather,
What's the purpose?
Feels worthless!
So unwanted like I've lost all my value,
I can't find it,
Not in the least bit!
And I'm just scared,
So scared that I'll fail you!}°~°
Roy P.O.V
I wanted to be anywhere, but here.
The Ishvalin civil war.
But I promised Kit that I would join the military before she moved, and as far as I knew she was somewhere out here, fighting for her life.
It was so tempting to leave, within the last week I've killed three abandoned Ishvalin children, two elderly women, and several others. Not only that, but I had to make graves for friends who commited suicide, because they couldn't face their families after this genocide.
"ROY!" I heard someone yell as I was pulling off my gloves to wash my hands.
"Hughes! So you're here to!"
"Long time no see, Roy... Oh! I guess I should call you 'major mustang'."
"My rank is technically equivalent to major..." I said. "...but the fact is, I only have the authority of a captain."
We went on, talking about promotions, our past invisionment of the future, then Hughes got a letter.
"OHHHH!" He gasped.
I flinched."What is it?'
"ITS MY 'BEAUTIFUL FUTURE'!" He held out the letter so I could read whovit was from.
"Gracia. Your girl?"
"Yep! Back in Central, she's waiting for me to return what about you? Have you found that mysterious disappearing girl of yours?"
"Ha ha, funny Hughes." I said sarcastically. "No, I don't even know if she's here, she probably forgot about me anyway."
"Well, I'm your beacon of hope, I just recently made a new friend who can access all military files, so if she's here,we would find something."
"Really? You would do that?"
"Of course,but now the moment I've been waiting for... tell me her name." Then I realized, I talked about her all the time but I've never told him her name.
"Kit." He burst out laughing.
"Wh-what's so funny?"
"Kit! I know where she is right this minute!" He got sirious. "She was transferred to my group after kimblee killed most of her batallion, she was the one who finally caght him."
"You're kidding? Even I wouldn't have the guts to fight Kimblee... can you take me to her?"
"Follow me loverboy!" Hughes joked, I only rolled my eyes.
°~°{ (chorus)
and sometimes I think that I'm not any good at all
And sometimes I wonder why,
Why I'm even here at all,
But then you assure me,
I'm a little more than useless,
And when I think that I can't do this,
You promise me that I'll get through this,
And do something right,
Do something right for once }°~°
Kit P.O.V
It was getting dark out, so some guys and I were sitting around a campfire. Over half of them were drunk by the time I got there anyway. But I couldn't really enjoy myself, my mind kept on wondering back to before I joined the military, back before I moved away from the most important people in my life, then my thoughts went to Roy. I closed my eyes and started to dirft in my own thoughts.
"KIT! KIT!" I heard Hughes yelling. I sat up and looked around, and sure enough here came Hughes dragging someone behind him, I couldn't tell who though.
"What is it Hughes?... be careful, watch out for Sam! He passed out on the ground earlier from too much to drink."
"I brought you a presant!" He moved to the side so I could get a better look at who he brought with him." I nearly knocked down Roy with a hug. He hugged me back, laughing at how happy I was to see him.
"So how has my little bacon addict been doing?" I laughed at my old nickname.
"Its been a while since anyone has called me that." I said.
"We've been calling her kit-kat." Said Hughes. Roy smirked.
"I think thats cute." My eye twitched.*cute?* "I am not cute Mustang!" He laughed.
"You haven't changed a bit."
"Anyway," said Hughes, "Kit, I was on my way to tell you something when I ran into Roy."
"What is it?"
"Well... you see..."
"Hughes" my tone was threatening
"KIMBLEE ESCAPED THE MAKESHIFT PRISON!" My eye twitched.
"So you're telling me I almost got killed for NOTHING! I'M GOING TO KILL THAT-"
Roy put his arm around my shoulder.
"Come on I'll get you a drink, we can catch up." He was clearly trying to avoid the subject. I sighed,
"Ok but I have to get back to work soon."
°~°{ so I say if I can't
Do something significant
I'll opt to leave most opportunities wasted,
And nothing trivial
That life can give you will,
Measure up to what might have replaced it,
Too late, look
My date book
Is packed full of days that were empty and now gone!
And I bet
That regret
Will prove to get me to improve in the long run}°~°
I had just finished killing quite a few Ishvalins, when I heard a shot behind me, and a pain in my chest.
I coughed up large amounts of blood, and blood poured out the wound every time I took a breath. They had shot me in the lung. I turned and lunged at the Ishvalin who had shot me. I touched his chest with the palm of my hand and transmuted the injury to him. The only evidence that I was even injured was the blood on the front of my uniform, and the small hole in the clothing from the bullet. I still felt the pain though. Just because I no longer had the injury didnt mean it never happened, the pain was from both the inflicted injury and the sudden dissappearence of it. The brain was confused and wasn't sure what signal to send, so it just registered as pain. I sighed. That was close.
Then I heard a small cry come from a pile of debris. I slowly made my way around only to find a little Ishvalin child crying. She saw me and went into hysterics. She saw what I had done to the others. I reached out and touched her shoulder, she flinched.
"Its ok calm down." She looked at me still frightened.
"I have morals unlike most soldiers, I promise I won't hurt you." She seemed to relax, but was still scared. I didn't blame her, after what she saw. I used dust to make her skin look paler, and gave her my sunglasses. I was about to make a tunnel leading to an Ishvalin camp further in Amestris, when out of the corner of my eye I saw Kimblee ducking out of veiw.
"Run... dont look back, I'll try to find you later. There is someone here who wouldn't hesitate to kill a child." She nodded and ran. I went in search for Kimblee. He was nowhere in sight. So I went in the direction the girl ran off in.
Roy P.O.V
Kit didn't return with the squad she was with. Hughes told me not to worry because she runs off all the time, he never told my why she would run off, but I had a feeling that it could get her court martialed. So I decided not to ask around about her incase someone gets curious and decides to look into it. So I'll keep my mouth shut until I get the chance to talk to her myself. But what if the reason she didnt come back was because she was killed, the only thing that brought me peace of mind was the fact that almost always they bring the body back.
Kit P.O.V
As I searched for the little girl, I felt a little uneasy and it was all because of Kimblee. It was getting dark out the full moon was the only light this far out. I should've stayed with her a while longer, I was so on edge it was hard for me to distinguish right from left.
Then I heard a small cry come behind a wall of what used to be a building, now reduced to rubble. I looked around to see the little girl sitting close to the shadows. When she looked at me she had tears running down her face again, I could see her darker skin being revealed as the tears washed away the dirt and dust from her face.
"Calm down sweetie," I said as comforting as possible, still trying to gain her trust. "Let me fix you up, and I'll make you a tunnel to a safe Ishva-" I froze when I saw Kimblee step from the shadows behind her, his hand never leaving her shoulder. I was almost choking with the sudden shock.
"K-kimblee don't -"
"Its funny, this girls heart beat calmed when she saw you..." I knew he had heard what I was saying to her.
"You're too soft, kit. I should've guessed you were doing this." He looked as if he was deep in thought. I was still frozen in place.
"Well after I finish here I'll kill off every Ishvalin you've ever saved, and make your exsistance worthless."
"What makes you think I'll let you do that! Even if you manage to kill me the military will capture you, their just children, the military should be more concerned with catching you!"
"We'll see about that." He let go of the girl and pushed her towards me.
"But its already too late for this one."
BOOM!
"All the significance you've done in the world will be erased by me."
°~°{ ... (chorus)...
I'm a little more than useless ,
And I never knew I knew this
Was gonna be the day,
Gonna be the day
That I would do something right,
Do something right for once
...
I noticed
I know this
Week is a symbol of how I use my time,
Resent it,
I spent it
Convincing myself
the worlds doing just fine
Without me (without me)
Doing anything of any consequence
Without me (without me)
Showing any sign of ever making sense
Of my time
Its my life,
And my right to use it like I should
Like he would
for the good
Of everything that I would ever know!
(Chorus x2) }°~°
Roy P.O.V
The whole camp heard the explosion, and before I knew it I was one of the many people running to see what was going on. I just hoped Kit wasn't part of it, despite the fact I already knew the answer to that question. She attracted trouble just like I attracted women.
Kit P.O.V
The force from the blast threw me against the wall, and temporarlly blinded me. The air was knocked out of me, I desprately gasped for air. Kimblee wrapped his hands around my neck.
"Since you can rebound alchemy, I can't use you as a bomb." He let go of my neck and kicked me over the wall. I stood up and tried to regain my breath. I was still in shock, that little girl died because of how weak I am, I can't even face Kimblee. Then the shock turned to anger. Kimblee approached me looking cocky, I stood and punched him as hard as I could across the face, making him fall back a little.
"That was for the threat." I kicked him in the groin.
"That was for knocking me senseless." I wrapped my hands around his neck.
"And this is for that little girl, she had a whole future, and you ruined it!" I let go of him and as he fell my knee came into contact with his chin. Then I gave him a good round-house kick in the ribs. I was going to kill him when a military officer stepped inbetween us.
"The furher has requested him alive."
"AFTER WHAT HE'S DONE! HE DESERVES DEATH BY FIRING SQUAD AT LEAST!"
"Sorry sir, but those are the orders." Behind him two other officers were putting Kimblee into hand cuffs.
"Fine, but if he escapes again I'm taking it out of YOUR hide." He gulped
"Y- yes sir!"
"KIT!" I turned to see Roy
"Are you ok! I heard the explosion and came running!" He was frantic.
"I'm fine Roy. Just a scratch." I just then noticed colonel Gran with the other three men.
"Kit the war is finally almost over, and you haven't had a day of rest since you started fighting. You have a young cousin at home who misses you, how about some leave time?"
"That would be wonderful thank you sir."
"You can get a ride out on a military supply truck thats leaving tomorrow."
After they left I sat down, and held my side where Kimblee kicked me.
"Are you ok?" Roy asked concerned.
"Just a little beat up." I said looking up at the moon. He sat down next to me.
"Why were you even out here?" I looked around carefully to make sure no one was listening.
"I ran into a little Ishvalin girl today, Kimblee saw me trying to help her, so he... kiled her." I was trying my best not to cry. Roy put his arm around me, and pulled me close.
"Go on..." I looked at him curiously.
"Its not healthy to hold it in. Go on if you want to cry, then don't hold back." I burried my face in his chest.
Once I had finally calmed down the sun was rising.
"Th-thank you Roy." He yawned.
"No problem, now come on. I'll help you get packed, and if you come back after the war is over, I'll make sure that you're going to be working with me no matter what." I smiled.
"Oh and," he said. "Did you know that Riza, your cousin, is here?"
"Really? I haven't seen my mothers side of the family since we moved. If I don't see her before I leave I'll find her once I get back. Thanks for telling me."
Finally home.
I missed this place so much. We lived in, what used to be a hotel. My rich grandmother bought it so my fathers side of the family could stay together, but since she hated my mothers side of the family I never got to see them. I took one step into the large house, and froze three people were on the floor dead. They were so grusomely murdered I couldn't tell who was who.
"Mom! BIRITANI!" I started running throughthe house trying to find someone alive. The blood was still fresh, so it was a fresh kill. I finally found him on the second floor, my brother didn't have a single scratch. He was bent over and... removing the skin from the last person he had killed.
"Z-zane! What did you..."
"Beautiful isn't it?" He stood up and turned to face me.
"THE BLOOD ITS SO MAGNIFICENT! DOESN'T IT MAKE ANY BYSTANDARD FEEL USELESS, BECAUSE THEY CAN'T DO ANYTHING BECAUSE THEY'RE ALREADY DEAD!" I took a step back.
"Why... how could... YOU'VE GONE INSANE!" He only laughed. I ran downstairs.
I didn't see anyone Biritanis size dead, so she must be on a play date with Winry, Ed, and Al. My first goal make sure she is ok.
Biritani answered the door to pinakos house. Her eyes widened.
"KIT YOU'RE HOME!" She hugged me.
"I MISSED YOU!" I started crying.
"Th- thank god you're alive." I whispered.
"What's wrong Kit?" asked Pinako.
"Biritani take everyone upstairs and practice your alchemy." She nodded
"But when you're done talking I want to show you what I learned!" I nodded.
Once they were all upstairs I told Pinako everything that had happened. She called the police, and I called one of the higher ups in the military and asked if I could talk to Riza...
-one month later...-
Zane was missing...
Roy was complaining about paperwork...
Riza was threatening him...
Biritani was on her way to becoming an exceptional alchemist...
Ed and Al commited the taboo...
Kimblee was in prison...
Winrys parents are dead...
...And I still feel useless...
Ok all done!
Im still thinking of what song I'll use for the last one. Please comment and give your ideas, and your thoughts so far.
Finally we'll find out if Roy kisses her!