A/N: So Lyndsey is really contemplative in this chapter in my opinion. You all seem to love the triangle going on, and I'm glad. I'm writing for all you guys who adore the triangle. Remember, Lyndsey's fate is in your hands…

And here are the results so far.

Kirk-1

Bones-2

So far, Bones is winning by one, but that can change. Again, you control her fate. I just write what you want. At one point, I lost what I'd written down and so I had to go off what I could remember from what I'd written on those papers. Well, hope you enjoy!

Chapter 8

If I Want You I'll Say So

"Maybe I didn't love you

Quite as often as I could have

And maybe I didn't treat you

Quite as good as I should have

If I made you feel second best

Girl, I'm sorry I was blind

But you were always on my mind

You were always on my mind "

-"Always On My Mind" by Willie Nelson

Kissing Jim was different than Bones. Leonard's kisses were electric, passionate, and full of wanting. She was always left wanting more after every kiss from him. Jim was slow, careful, but like a wildfire. There was a wanting in his kisses, and she could feel it through her entire body. The moment their lips left each other's, Lyndsey pressed her lips again to his. He grabbed her face and held her there, but when she realized what she was doing, she released him.

"You need to rest, Mister Kirk." She said breathily, looking into his eyes. He moved her hair away from her neck and pressed a kiss under her ear. "Do I have to? I'd rather watch you work." He whined. She gently helped him lay back down and grabbed a sedative. "You need sleep." She then proceeded to jab him.

As he closed her eyes, she smoothed her hair and retreated to her lab. Realizing she was a bit flustered, she smoothed her uniform self-consciously. What had just happened? She tried to concentrate on the DNA sample bright on the screen, failing miserably. Guilt was building in her stomach, and it's chill made her shiver. After a while, she was able to concentrate, her guilt being her only drive. Hearing voices, she shrugged and returned to work. It wasn't until a while after when she walked out to deliver her first results to Doctor Puri that there was an explosion. She was thrown against a wall, and the last thing she remembered was seeing the bay on fire.

"Cadet Ambrosi!"

She woke up on feeling a hard slap to her face. A few soft slaps woke her completely up. "Sorry. Doctor, she's awake." A nurse said. The first thing through her mind was to give that nurse, whoever they were, hell. McCoy was by her in a second. "Leo?" She shook her head, vision slightly blurry. She felt a stab in her neck and her vision began to clear, showing her a clearly concerned Leonard McCoy. He looked relieved now, on seeing she'd woken up and recognized him. "Lyndsey! Thank god!"

He kissed her forehead and grabbed her under her arms. "I'm gonna help ya stand darlin'."

With his help, she stood up and leaned against a wall. "What happened? This place looks like it went through hell and back."

McCoy nodded. "That distress signal was about a ship. Everyone's gone Lyndsey. All those people we knew from our classes? They're dead, that ship killed them all." He placed a hand on Lyndsey's arm as she tilted from dizziness and grief. All her friends, everyone she knew, was gone. Her roommate, Sidney was dead. Gaila was dead too. "Can you walk, Doctor Ambrosi?" McCoy asked. She nodded. "Yes sir."

She walked the best she could over to her lab. "What happened to Doctor Puri?" She asked. McCoy shook his head. "Dead, darlin'. Advanced me to Chief Medical Officer. You've been advanced to my second in command."

She sighed. "Well, sir. What's our status on…"

She stopped as several Vulcans walked in and gaped. They all looked worse for wear. Behind them followed Jim and Sulu. McCoy began tending to the Vulcans while she pulled her crewmembers over to the side. Sulu looked like he was the most in pain, so she started with him.

"So what happened, Mister Sulu?"

He grinned. "It's a long story Lyndsey. Mind if we just skip to the issue?" He was chuckling, and Lyndsey could help but glare. "Can you breathe? You have a fractured rib."

This time, she could see a visible wince from him when he shrugged. "Well yeah, but there's some pressure on my chest." He said as she grabbed an osteoregenerator and ran the device over his side. "This won't cure it entirely, I'll have to wrap up your side. Be careful Mister Sulu, I don't want to see you in here again with a punctured lung."

He laughed. "Yes ma'am. Thank you doctor."

She then moved to Jim. "Now isn't this familiar. What happened to you?" she said and Jim laughed. "You're still patching me up after all these years. Well if you must know doctor, I hurt my hand."

She grabbed a tri-corder. "It's just a sprain, I'll wrap up your hand anyway. I don't want you doing anything to aggravate it."

She started working on his hand in silence before he spoke. "Lyndsey, why do I feel like I failed everyone? Can you diagnose that?" He asked. She looked up and took his face in her hands. "James Tiberius Kirk, you have not failed anyone, least of all me. And if you're thinking it's somehow your fault about this then think about it. If you hadn't come onboard and we hadn't helped you, we'd all be dead. You'd have heard about it and you'd be on your way to tell my mother I was gone like my dad. You'd be angry for not telling Leonard and I that we should take you along. It's Nero's fault, you know. He's the one causing all of this. He killed your dad, killed our friends on those ships, and ended lives on Vulcan. It's not your fault Jimmy."

He took her hand and pulled her over to her lab. "Have I ever told you that you're my other half?" He asked. She sighed. "The macaroni to your cheese and everything else. Seriously, I don't understand why you use all those twenty first century terms sometimes."

He laughed, and then put his arms around her waist. "Lyndsey, I got to tell you something."

Her heart fluttered, but she loped her arms around his neck. "I don't think I have a choice of whether you tell me or not."

Looking straight into her eyes, he spoke. "I knew there was always something special about you, since the day we met. I had to protect you, then I loved you like you were my sister, but I knew it went so much farther than that. I just couldn't admit it until you left for Greece. Lynds, I've always loved you, and I still do. It's always been you, despite all the one night stands and girls I had, you were always the one on my mind."

She sighed. "Jim, I…. It's always been us against the world, but things are more complicated now. I…love you, but I love someone else as well." She said as she pried his arms off her waist. He stared at her. "What? Lynds…" He slowly looked angry. "Who is it?"

She backed away. "Leonard. Jim, please. Don't be an idiot."

He turned and punched the wall. It was silent in her office until he spoke again, slowly and deliberately. "Lyndsey Marie Ambrosi. I know you better than anyone." His voice began to rise. "You need to know who can take care of you. You really think Bones is the one for you? Who can actually take care of you? Bones has a dangerous job! Do you really want the rest of your life ending up like your mom and dad, and you lose him!"

He froze, realizing what he'd said. Lyndsey's dad was the most sensitive topic to bring up. She stared at him. "Leave Jim. We both have a job to do." Her voice sounded cold and almost ruthless. He grabbed her arm as she made to leave. "Lynds…. I'm sorry…"

She wrenched her arm away from him. "You don't call me Lynds. Not anymore Mister Kirk." She said, her voice full of venom. "Now leave."

She pushed him outside and closed her lab door, sinking down on the floor in tears.

Later when she had finally decided to get some work done, she heard the door chime. "Come." She said, trying to be cheerful.

McCoy walked inside. "Hello darlin'. How're doing?" He asked. She sighed. "These experiments are tough, but I mean, I'm getting the whole technician idea now." He sighed. "No, I mean personally. Jim told me you two fought."

She looked up, and McCoy could now see tear stains on her face. "Lyndsey… I don't want to make you feel any worse, but he got marooned for going against Spock. He's on Delta Vega."

She got up and went to him, wrapping her arms around his waist and placing her cheek on his chest. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't be crying about this, but I'm worried about him all the time. And now with him marooned like you said, I may not ever see him again."

"It's only natural. Ya'll are close, so it hurts to fight. It's like fightin' with a sibling. You fight, but ya still love em'."

"I feel horrible." She said, nodding. He stroked her hair. "Now what did ya'll fight about?" He asked concerned. She tightened her grip around his waist and looked up at him. "It's not important anymore."

He looked down at her. "If you're sure darlin'. You know you can always talk to me." Leonard couldn't help thinking how small she looked, and his mind wandered to how small she was compared to Jim. Stop it. She told you you're not like Jim. You love her, and you know she loves you. He thought before he leaned down and kissed her tenderly. Lyndsey leaned into his embrace and placed a hand on his chest. She smiled into the kiss before he let her go. "I love you so much Lyndsey." He whispered against her lips. She smiled and answered him. "I love you too Leo."

She didn't want to think about Jim.

She felt safe when Jim was around, but protected with Leonard.

Jim had brought out her recklessness, but Leonard brought out her rationality.

She could live dangerously or live happy and safe.

For now, she felt alive and loved in Leonard's arms.

A/N: This is probably kind of short, but next is when Scotty comes onboard so Jim will be back, for all the Team Kirk's. Hopefully this satisfied all my Team Bones' people. Please press the review button. Right now Bones is winning, but it's anyone's game. No flames, PM criticism, feedback appreciated.

Rachel