ACT 3
Maury: We are here with Serah, Snow, and Saz -that's a lot of "S's"-
(Audience laughs)
Maury: Anyway these young people are caught in a little bit of a love triangle-
(Saz interrupts)
Saz: There is no love triangle! These two are in love and that's the way it's going to stay!
Snow: Like hell it is!
Serah: Snow!
(Maury looks into the camera and smiles empathetically)
Maury: Well this is certainly an interesting situation be to be in. Let's see what Serah's sister Lighting has to say about the whole ordeal.
(Cut to a wide screen television where Lightining is standing backstage. A stage manager tells Lightining to go to the front stage)
(The audience cheers and claps when Lightining comes on stage. Lightining stops for a moment to pose on stage. Both Serah and Snow look nervous)
(Maury gets up and greets Lightining and gestures for her to sit down next to Snow. Snow glances nervously at Lightining)
Maury: I'm sure you've heard everything that's been going on. How do you feel about all of these secrets coming out now?
Lightining: I can't say I'm surprised. I never liked Saz or Snow, and now both these bastards used my sister. I should kill them.
(Saz and Snow look at each other uncomfortably. Maury laughed uncomfortably)
Maury: Now, now let's not be hasty Lightining dear. We need them to finish this segment.
(Lightining looked at Snow angrily and then darted her eyes to Saz)
Lightining: All right, but when I do kill them just stay out of my way.
(Snow shakes his head disapprovingly)
Maury: What's the matter Snow?
Snow: (Sigh) I just think it's funny that she wants to sit in judgement on us when she's a little hypocrite!
(Maury looks at the camera in pretend shock)
Maury: What do you mean son?
(Serah looks from Snow to Lightining in confusion)
Serah: What are you talking about Snow?
(Lightining jumps up from her seat and pulls out her sword and points it a Snow's cheek)
Lightining: If you say a word I'll cut your tongue out and feed it to Red XIII!
(The sudience gasps. Red XIII raises his head)
Red XIII: Don't get me caught in the middle of this!
(Liightining turns arounds and points her sword at Red XIII)
Lightining: Shut-up! (She turns back to Snow) You better watch it!
(Snow gets up and stands over Lightining)
Snow: You're not going to act high and mighty when you know that you and I slept together!
(Audience gasps in shock and oohs loudly. Serah's mouth drops open inadvertantly; Saz raises his eyebrows not looking particularly surprised)
Saz: I already knew that. Snow you told me this last year.
(Serah looked over at Saz shocked)
Serah: Last year?
Snow: (He scratches his head) Dude you're right bro! I totally forgot!
(Lightining then points her sword at Saz)
Lightining: Shut-up!
Serah: (Shout to Lightining) You tramp!
Lightining: I wanted to make sure he was good enough for you!
Serah: For a whole year?
Maury: (To Lightining) She does have a point.
Lightining: You shut-up as well! It was my duty as a soldier.
(Maury looks precociously at the camera)
Maury: Well sign me up for the next draft!
(Audience laughs)
(Suddenly a male figure came running from backstage; it was Squall Leonhart)
Squall: Damn! I thought I would get here before Serah made a fool of herself!
(Snow turns to Squall)
Snow: Who in the hell are you?
(Squall gives Snow a confused look but then takes out his gunblade)
Squall: I'm Serah's fiance
Snow: What?
(Serah looks down and bites her lower lip)
Serah: (To herself) I thought I broke it off with Squall six months ago.
(A member in the audience suddenly stands up; it's Rinoa Heartilly)
Rinoa: Squall are you nuts? You're with me!
(Squall turns and points his gunblade at Rinoa)
Squall: Not any longer! You drive me nuts with all your personality shifts. One moment you're you the next you're Ultimecia.
(Ultimecia stands up from her seat)
Ultimecia: I resent that!
(Lightining turns her attention to Squall)
Lightining: This has nothing to do with you. Get lost before you get hurt!
(Squall turns his blade to Lightining)
Squall: You don't scare me chick. I'm a soldier too!
(In the audience Cloud Strife stood up and wielded his buster sword)
Cloud: You're no soldier Squall; you're a SeeD in a bootleg garden!
(Tifa who was sitting next to Cloud tugged on his belt to get him to sit down)
Tifa: Will you shut-up! This has nothing to do with us!
(Cloud looked down at Tifa)
Cloud: But it does Tifa; it does!
(Maury shakes his head in disbelief, but then looks over at the camera again and smiles)
Maury: We'll be right back.
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