Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns all recognizable characters, plots, etc. Only original content, characters, etc. belongs to author. No copyright infringement intended. Any errors contained herein, are expressly the fault of the authors idiocy, and not her betas.

Word Count: 10,940

A/N: I apologize in advance for the length of this note. Thank you's at the top, but important info in the latter half.

I can't express enough my appreciation to V for betaing and Char for helping me get it right/keeping me on track, but I will never stop trying. Also thanks to Em and Ali for helping me with a couple parts that needed tweaking.

I confuse myself at times because I tend to work on chapters simultaneously. For example, while writing this chapter I was also working on chapters nine and ten, so I apologize if I ever say anything confusing in a review reply.

Speaking of replies, yours rocked last chapter. I think I replied to all of you, but apologize if I missed you. For anyone who's interested and didn't already read it, there was a great discussion regarding Alice and Charlotte on page 236 of the Twi'd BH thread, link is on my profile.

Please forgive my tardiness in getting this chapter out to you. Between Thanksgiving, four solid days of a migraine so painful Athena herself couldn't have made it worse (if you don't get the reference, look it up), finally finding a new job and unexpectedly starting the day after the interview, I have valid reasons for my epic fail.

My goal has been to get chaps out every two weeks, but it's going to be closer to a month, most likely, from now on. With this new job, at best I'm only able to write for an hour a day during the week. So, unless I find a new job or are fired... I'm terribly sorry about this, but it can't be helped; I gotta eat too. This story will be finished; it's just going to take me a bit longer than I'd planned.

Also, I know I said the reunion would be in this chapter, but I didn't realize how much stuff needed to occur before I could get there; my eagerness to get there got the best of me. When I hit 13k without having finished the dinner, I knew I was fucked. At 18k, I knew I'd have to split it. So, the next chapter is written, it just needs to be edited, and should post in no more than two weeks. I suck, I'm aware of this. Shutting-up now.

Enjoy.

Chapter 8—Mama, I'm Comin' Home

Times have changed, and times are strange…
…Here I come, but I ain't the same...
…Times go by it seems to be you could have been a better friend to me…
…You took me in, and you drove me out, you had me hypnotized, yeah
Lost and found and turned around by the fire in your eyes
You made me cry, you told me lies, but I can't stand to say goodbye…
…I could be right, I could be wrong; it hurts so bad, it's been so long…
…Selfish love, yeah…the ride before the fall,
But I'm gonna take this heart of stone, I just got to have it all
I've seen your face a hundred times every day we've been apart
I don't care about the sunshine, yeah
'Cause mama, mama, I'm comin' home...
- Ozzy Osbourne

~∞Ѿ∞~

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Last Time in BPOV –

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I'd had to endure the effete gushing of Charlie and Billy Black for more than thirty minutes. 'We're both so happy you two are together.' 'We've always hoped this would happen.' 'After two girls, I was thrilled to finally get a son, and my wife used to joke that the only reason I wanted a boy so badly was so that the Swans and Blacks could be united and finally be family.' 'It doesn't matter that you're not Quileute because you're Charlie's little girl.' Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah! Are you kidding me? Not interested because it was making me sick to my stomach and threatening to rain on my decisive day parade, I stopped listening. If I hadn't felt as if I were stuck with Jake before, I certainly did after that. With every word they'd uttered, I faltered just a little more.

…so let me slip away…

I felt like Atlas, only instead of my punishment being to hold up the heavens, I bore the hopes and expectations of three grown men, and wanted nothing more than to crumple under the weight. The thought of disappointing all of them made my knees knock, and I momentarily reconsidered the conversation I was planning to have with Jake when he returned, but I wouldn't be deterred, not when I was so close to a resolution. If there was ever a time for me not to let the perceived pressure of others keep me from finding happiness, it was now.

…slight hope, it dangles on a string like slow spinning redemption...

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~∞Ѿ∞~

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My plan—to sleep through the remainder of Thanksgiving—went bust, though not for lack of trying on my part. It was a great plan…in theory, but once in bed, I tossed and turned for hours, sleep eluding me, and was actually grateful when I heard my phone ringing in the living room. Tired of being alone with my thoughts and myself, I rushed to the living room and, without checking Caller I.D., eagerly answered my phone.

"'Ello."

"Alice Cullen is a fucking bitch!"

"Well…hello to you, too, Rose."

"Hi," she snapped, the agitation in her voice as loud as the sound of her heels…click-clack, click-clack, click-clack...against the shiny hardwood floor at her parents' as she paced back and forth.

"That's better. Now, what are you going off about, and why is Alice the devil?"

"Not the devil—a fucking bitch. Get it right."

"Okay—fucking bitch! Why?"

"So, we're eating dinner, Edward's being his usual sulking, pouty, anti-social, assbag-self—you know, totally not participating and shutting down everyone's attempts at conversing with him—and Emmett's totally bothered by it and drinking like a fish. Edward's just completely disappeared from his life and, while I might not mind, Em misses the shit out of him. Anyway, I finally get fed up and decide to rile him up some, because at least then he won't be acting so fucking numb that he seems almost dead."

My heart aches at her description of him, because I know it well. After all, I saw it in the mirror—still do sometimes—everyday for months, but I didn't want to hear it. I mean, she had to know that I didn't want to hear about him, but she just wouldn't shut-up or allow me to get a word in edgewise, and interrupting her when she was in one of her snits only caused her wrath to turn on you, so I kept my mouth shut. However, I had a feeling that I was too sober for wherever her rant was headed.

"So, I ask Edward where his girlfriend's at…"

Wait… Girlfriend? What the… Yeah, definitely too sober.

My stomach clenched, making me worry I was going to be sick, and I had the overwhelming desire to hang up on her, but I couldn't. She was my friend and she needed me, therefore, I was required to stay on the line…but there was no rule saying that I had to be either lucid or sober while fulfilling my duty. Going to the kitchen, I grabbed the first bottle of liquor I found in the cabinet, sat on the floor and, forgoing a shot glass, began drinking, wincing with each burning pull.

"…and then Alice actually had the nerve to defend Edward and that tramp he's seeing! I mean, what the fuck, Bella? She chose some new girl—Assward's flavor of the week—over me—her oldest friend—all because Edward swears they aren't together, that they're just friends and classmates? I'd have to be fucking stupid to buy that line of bullshit."

Rose could be a bit…blind to other people's feelings at times, but this was ridiculous even for her. Could she grind the salt any deeper into my wounds?

Still, I found myself asking…and hoping, "Well, if Alice defended him, maybe it's true? Maybe they really are just friends?"

Rose snorted…loudly. "Seriously, Bella? Edward 'I Fucked Half of Forks' Female Population Between the Ages of Fifteen and Twenty-four' Cullen doesn't hang out with chicks—he fucks them. You of all people should know better considering for five years we all thought you and him were just friends. We know the truth about that, now, don't we?"

"Right, Rose, thanks for reminding me. I'd almost forgotten about the most painful experience of my life. What would I ever do without you?"

"You don't need to be a bitch, Bella. God, are you actually on their side?"

"What? No! I'm not on anyone's side, but I have to say that I think you're overreacting a bit." Now you've gone and done it. Ka-boom!

Sure enough…

"I'm over—I'm overreacting? I'm looking out for you! You could show a little fucking gratitude!"

…Rose delivered.

"Rose…" I sighed, trying to formulate my thoughts—how to say what I needed to say without pissing her off any more—but nothing sounded right. Instead, I helped myself to more liquid courage, said a Hail, Mary…what? It couldn't hurt…and winged it. "I appreciate and love you for wanting to defend me, but you can't fight my battles. It's been more than a year, Ro, let it go.

"I'm over it—" no, I wasn't, "—I'm seeing Jake now, and Edward's moved on as well, apparently —" so much for undying love, "—so you should let it rest. You're going to be family in just a few months; you can't keep doing this. It's already causing problems between you and Alice, and it's eventually going to cause problems between you and Emmett. Don't let this—my bullshit with Edward—come between the two of you.

"You know Em better than anyone—how long do you think he's going to sit back watching you start shit with Edward before he puts a stop to it? Whatever happened between Edward and I is just that—between us. Regardless, it's ancient history; Edward and I have both moved on—you need to do the same."

Rose remained uncharacteristically silent, actually letting me speak my peace without interrupting once, so I treated myself to a victory shot.

"You know what, Bella?" her voice was soft, disarming. "Fuck you!" I spit my drink out, spraying my lap and the floor—spoke too soon. Turned out Elvis hadn't, in fact, left the building. "You are so completely unappreciative…"

On and on she went, throwing a shit fit of epic proportions, ranting about Edward, his new girlfriend, Alice, and me, but I only listened with half an ear as I steadily sipped my whiskey. She finished—unexpectedly and abruptly, with, "Find someone else to whine about Edward to, because I'm done listening or caring." Click.

She hung up...without even bothering to say goodbye. How rude! And for the record, I never whined to her about Edward; I didn't discuss him with anyone. For real, I was done with the Goddamn day. Powering my phone down, I proceeded to get pissed; it was that or cry, and I was done crying.

I awoke the next morning on the kitchen floor—stiff, sore and cold.

…I just dropped in to see what condition my condition was in...

Looking around me, assessing the state of affairs, and imagining Angela's reaction had she found me like that, I chuckled. Can you say 'intervention'? My head was throbbing, yet I couldn't seem to stop the hysterical laughter that bubbled out of me, and then turned on me quickly, spilling over in watery heartbreak. Why, why now? I couldn't help wondering. Were we doomed to spend life as ships passing in the night, never to charter the same course? Had I been right all along, were we just not meant to be? Or was I, perhaps, being melodramatic?

I wanted to give Edward the benefit of the doubt, and hold on to the sliver left of me that believed…hoped…he could change, but the seed of doubt had been planted, and I didn't have enough faith in him—or in me—necessary to risk it all on the slim chance that Rose was wrong. Each tear brought me closer to viewing Rose's phone call as a miracle keeping me from making a mistake I would forever regret. It couldn't have been coincidence that kept me from turning my phone off.

I knew what I had to do. Edward and I were through. I would stay with Jake.

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~∞Ѿ∞~

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When I finally picked myself up off the floor, I dried my tears and didn't shed another. It still hurt—I still hurt—but at the same time, the matter having been decided for me brought me some peace since I couldn't be held entirely accountable if it was the wrong choice. Keep telling yourself that, sweetheart. On top of that was the relief of not having to break Jake's heart, thus dashing the hopes of our fathers. My shoulders felt lighter, but there remained in my gut a persistent heaviness trying to drag me down and I was certain it wasn't caused by my over-indulgence the night before.

I spent my final night alone, before Jake and Angela were supposed to return, dealing with my feelings and sorting things out, eventually finding the strength of will to close for good the book on Edward and me…and then locking it away in a deep corner of my soul. By the time Jake returned, I was fully committed to our relationship. Ready to move forward with my life, with our life, I threw myself into 'us' with renewed vigor—or perhaps I only just threw myself into it. Either way, it wasn't overlooked by Jake, who more than once commented, "Jeeze, had I known I would get this kind of welcome, I would have gone away sooner."

Sure, there was still the odd moment now and then when I would slip and find myself thinking, 'this was different with Edward,' but, with practice, I quickly became adept at ignoring them and the moments grew further and further apart. I loved and cared about Jake, but still my feelings felt lukewarm compared to the ones I'd had for Edward. Had? Ooooo-kay, keep telling yourself that. Deep down, I think Jake believed that he could be in love enough for both of us, that maybe if he loved me hard enough, I would return it in some part to him—and I did try—but I never felt as if I managed. It seemed as if disappointment—his or my own, I didn't know—was constantly staring back at me from his eyes, mocking me, so I'd try harder, but the more I'd try, the further I'd fall, and this was yet another failure for me. I was swimming in fucking guilt, and I hated it, but I'd made my own bed and like a good girl, I had to lie in it.

Jake and I slipped into a comfortable routine of mediocrity. Dinner, the movies, sex, blowjobs when I didn't feel like faking it…you know, the usual. For fuck's sake, I'm such a bitch! In truth, Jake was a great boyfriend. He did everything he could to make me feel special, to show me how much he loved me, and the sex really wasn't bad…it just wasn't the same as it had been with Edward. Maybe it was because he lacked the experience that Edward had—some of which he'd earned at my expense—I don't know, but he couldn't make my body sing, make it burn and ache the way Edward had.

Whatever the reason, it was irrelevant. Good sex wasn't a solid enough foundation on which to build a lasting relationship and, despite Edward and I having had some of the elements besides the physical down, the important ones such as faith, loyalty, honesty and commitment had been noticeably absent. Oh, and there had also been the little matter of I was in love with him, and he just liked to fuck me.

I had those things with Jake. He may not have been Edward, but everything that had been wrong or missing between Edward and me, I had with Jake, and I may not have been in love with him, but I did honestly love him and knew I could find a modicum of happiness with him; that was going to have to be enough for me.

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~∞Ѿ∞~

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"So, I know your lease is up in a couple months," Jake started, shortly before Christmas. We were hanging out at my place as usual, Jake watching television while I read a book, sprawled out on the other end of the couch.

I looked up from my book, curious, but leery. "Yeah?"

"Well, have you and Ange talked about what you're going to do?"

Perplexed, my forehead wrinkled. "Going to do? About what?"

"You keep saying that she wants to move in with Ben, but I know you can't afford this place on your own, so I was thinking…why don't I move in with you? We can renew the lease until I finish school, and then we can decide what to do from there."

"I'm not staying in New York, Jake. I'm going back to Seattle at the end of February. You know that."

"I don't understand why you're going back when you have to immediately return to take your orals for your , and I'm here. I still have another year and a half of school left. You were going to what – just leave and hope for the best? Have you given any thought at all to us? To our future or what's going to happen to us if you leave?"

…ooh I love to dance a little sidestep, now they see me now they don't, I've come and gone…

"You always knew that my plan was to go back to Seattle in February. I don't see why you're getting so bent out of shape about it now," I replied defensively, my glaring evasion hanging in the air between us, a silent answer speaking louder than my words.

…and, ooh I love to sweep around the wide step, cut a little swathe and lead the people on…

"Things change, Bella. Our relationship has changed. I thought you were finally getting serious about us, that this relationship was important and meant something to you, and I guess I assumed that you would have considered that and changed your plans. Obviously, I was wrong." His words were clipped, tinged with bitter disillusionment rising to anger as shame rose hotly in me, but my own anger soon eclipsed the shame.

"Seriously? Seriously?" I demanded, lashing out. "You just don't fucking get it! Our relationship has nothing to do with my decision."

"Oh, don't I fucking know it!"

I narrowed my eyes at him, countering, "I have obligations in Seattle. I have Rose's wedding, and I've already lined up several job interviews with some great companies! I'm not going to skip out on Rose's wedding or jeopardize my future simply because you don't want me to leave. I love you, but I won't do that, Jake. I can't, and if you loved me, you wouldn't ask me to."

"I'm not asking you to not go to Rose's wedding, or to give up your future, but you don't need to live in Seattle to do that shit. You don't need to go back a month early for the Goddamn wedding, and there are much better job options here than in Washington. Why can't you find something here? I'm sure Angela can get you an interview where she works. It shouldn't be too hard. After all, you did intern there when you first moved here. I'm sure they'd take you back. Why the fuck is it so important for you to go back to Washington? It's not like you have anything to go back to."

…and then one day you find ten years have got behind you, no one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun…

"I. Don't. Want. To live. In New York! I have everything to go back to in Seattle; it's home. It's close to my father whom I haven't seen in a year and a half, as well as the friends who are my family. I want to start my career when I finish school. I don't want to just take some job for 'right now' because, before you know it, 'right now' turns into two, five, ten years down the road."

…every year is getting shorter, never seem to find the time, plans that either come to naught or half a page of scribbled lines…

"And then one day you wake up and realize that you never did any of the things you said you would. You're doing something you hate, living somewhere you don't want to be, and it's too late to fix any of it…you're miserable and you're stuck. I'm not going to change my plans or give up my dreams for someone else; I've worked too hard. I won't be that person. I'm sorry, Jake, but I've never lied to you about my plans. You knew from the beginning that I would be moving back home in February."

"You forgot to include 'with someone you don't want to be with' in your list," he informed me bitterly. "That's what this is really about isn't it? It isn't about you not wanting to give up your dreams—because I'm not asking you to do that, I would never ask that—this is about you not wanting to be with me. You're gonna go back to Seattle, and hop right back in his bed, aren't you? Just admit it. Tell me the real reason you refuse to compromise for us."

"Oh, my… Are you fucking kidding me? No, that's not…" I snorted. The audacity! "You might find it hard to believe, but not everything is about him…or you, for that matter. I don't want to be with him. That ship has sailed…and then was destroyed in an explosive conflagration in which there were no survivors…" I trailed off, hoping that he hadn't heard the bitter wistfulness lacing my tone.

When I continued, my voice was resolute once again. "I wouldn't be with you if I didn't want to be. Don't insult me by implying I'm an unfaithful whore who's just going jump right back in the sack with Edward the first chance she gets!" There wouldn't be room for me if I wanted to. "You know what, I can't even look at you right now. I'm leaving. Why don't you give me a call when you can stop acting like such a jackass, and realize what you have right in front of you.

"I expect you to be gone by the time I get back. I'm out," I called over my shoulder as I walked out the door, slamming it behind me. I put my coat on in the hall, and then stomped down the stairs to the first floor, too impatient to wait for the elevator.

Walking aimlessly around my neighborhood, it struck me that, although I'd basically professed my devotion to him and he'd reacted by throwing out accusations, I was more upset about Edward and I really being through than I was by the possibility of my relationship with Jake ending; I didn't fail to see the irony.

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~∞Ѿ∞~

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After our knock-down, drag-out fight, we didn't speak of February again. It was always there between us—what was going to happen with us when I moved back to Seattle—but we ignored the giant pink elephant in the room like it was our job until, eventually, our relationship became a trifecta—me, him, and the elephant.

Time passed, Christmas came and went, followed by New Year's—Jake spent the former in La Push with both of our fathers, again, and the latter with me—but each day seemed to drag on longer than the last. I was anxious to get home and start my life, to finally apply the knowledge that I'd just spent the past six years of my life, including summers, learning. I still wasn't certain what I wanted to do with my degree, but the interviews I'd managed to schedule would provide me the opportunity to explore a variety of options.

All of my ducks were effortlessly lining up into their rows. Alice and Rose had finally made up, so I wouldn't be walking into any awkwardness between them. Arrangements to ship my stuff home had been made with the moving company, and once in Seattle I'd secured a place to stay—with Alice and Jasper at their insistence—and found transportation—Esme's old car (old being relative) as Carlisle just bought her a new one for Christmas—since my old truck had finally kicked the bucket. The only thing putting a damper on things was Jake; the more excited I became, the more morose he grew.

Right after the first of the year, he started dropping hints about transferring back to U-Dub and, while I didn't particularly think it was smart, I kept my mouth shut; I mean, it wasn't as if he could do anything about it for a few months. And some time apart would be good for us, it would give us some perspective, and – I don't know… Maybe I hoped the distance would be the demise of our relationship, or that I would realize how much I really did want to be with him. Whatever it was, it ended up not mattering; it seemed that even fate was pushing me into Jake's arms.

The second week of January, Jake's father, who suffered from diabetes, had a significant heart attack, losing the use of his legs due to peripheral arterial disease—apparently, he'd missed all the warning signs. I felt awful for him, and even worse for Jake who had to drop out of school in order to move back home and take care of his father, his sisters being unwilling to take on the burden themselves.

When he received the news, Jake immediately set about wrapping up his life in New York. He was gone in less than a week, leaving me, his loyal and devoted girlfriend, to deal with packing up the rest of his stuff. I didn't really mind, though; he needed to be with his father, and it made sense. If his stuff was shipped back to Washington with mine, we could split the cost.

My last weeks and days in the city flew by in a blur of boxes and bubble wrap and shipping tape, further distorted by the fumes of household cleaners choking up both my place and his. Before I knew it, I was watching the movers load my stuff up, saying goodbye to Angela and Ben, and getting on a plane headed for Seattle, completely unaware of the disappointment that would be waiting for me on the ground.

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~∞Ѿ∞~

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Early on the morning of my flight to Seattle, Jake called wanting to pick me up at the airport, but I told him not to bother. I wasn't flying out until the afternoon, and wouldn't get in until late. After dealing with the movers in the morning and then traveling all day, I knew I wouldn't be feeling up to making the drive to Forks, and he still couldn't leave his father overnight. Jake was already annoyed that I hadn't booked a commuter from Seattle, so the fact that I'd arranged to have Alice pick me up and would be staying with her for the night only further aggravated him, which incensed me.

Had his mood not been growing steadily worse every day since he'd left New York, I may have been able to overlook it, but it had, so I couldn't. He was touchy and pissy like a wolf with an abscessed tooth, and I was officially fed-up with it. I didn't want to fight with him, especially not at the crack of dawn on the day I was going home, but I wasn't exactly a morning person, and he'd chosen the wrong moment to push my buttons.

"Jake, what the fuck is your problem? Do you have to be such a dick about this?"

"Seriously, what's wrong with me?" he asked incredulously. "What's wrong with me is that I haven't seen you in over a month, I'm stuck playing nursemaid to my crabby-ass father, and my life is in shambles because of it—only I can't say anything or complain about it without sounding like an ungrateful little son-of-a-bitch. I miss my girlfriend, Bells. I just want to see you for fuck's sake! Is that too much to ask?"

"Jake, I know things are crap right now, and I'm sorry, but not seeing me until tomorrow isn't that big of a deal! You can wait one more day. I'll be in Forks tomorrow. I'm borrowing Esme's old car, so I'll just swing by your dad's place sometime in the late afternoon after I see Charlie."

"Are you sure you can squeeze me in? You really know how to make a man feel good. Way to put everyone before me, the man that you're supposed to love." His voice was dripping with sarcasm. "That's fine, though; just shows me where I rank in your life. Have you even missed me at all?"

The effort I had been putting into keeping the worst of my temper in check disappeared at the acerbity of his tone, leaving me no longer feeling as if I needed to placate or coddle him.

"Of course I've missed you!" I really had. "Excuse me for taking one day to see my family, most of whom I haven't seen in like – a year and a half. Selfish much? I mean, I understand that you're going through a tough time, but it's pretty fucked up that you would begrudge me going to see my family!"

"The Cullens?" he snorted in disbelief. "They aren't your family, Bella. Charlie's your family, and he would totally understand you wanting to see me as soon as you could. The Cullens are your friends, and what's bullshit is you putting them before me, not me wanting to see you."

Oh no, he di'nt! I was putting a stop to this bullshit now.

"I get that you don't like them, Jake, and that's fine—what-the-fuck-ever—but they are my family, blood relation or not, and the sooner you get that through your head, the better. I'm not going to push them out of my life because you're unhappy that they're part of it; they've been in my life far longer than you have. Don't make me choose, because you'll lose."

"Really? That's – that's – I don't even know what to say to that." He sounded shocked, the disbelief and anger in his voice not quite enough to hide the hurt, and I immediately felt guilty. Perhaps I'd been a little harsh.

I backtracked, unable to leave him feeling that wounded. He was fragile enough as is; I didn't need to kick him when he was down.

"I'm sorry, that was a bit harsh, but Jake…the Cullens are family to me, whether you like it or not, and I've missed them. I'm riding with Alice and Jasper to Forks, picking up Esme's car, and then going to see Charlie. I think his shift starts at four, and my welcome home dinner isn't until seven, so you can have me tomorrow from four until like, six-thirty, and all day on Saturday…if you want. It's up to you; take it or leave it. Now, do you want me to come to La Push to see you or not?"

"They're throwing you a welcome home dinner? Were you even going to invite me?"

"Um, no? I didn't really ask if I could…sorry. I mean, it's just the gang, Esme and Carlisle. And you don't even like them, so why would you want to go?"

"I suppose he's going to be there?"

"I don't know. Maybe? I haven't asked. We don't exactly talk about him, y'know?"

"So he might be?"

"I guess. Like I said, I haven't asked. No one's mentioned that he will, but no one's mentioned that he's not, either. I seriously doubt it, though. Why would he want to be there? Is that what this is about? Him? Get over it, Jake. Why is this still an issue? I thought we'd moved past this?"

"I just don't like the idea of you hanging around him. I don't want him worming his way back into your life. He's a piece of shit, Bella."

"So, this is all about you being jealous? Huh! Well, nice to see how little faith you have in me. I'm not stupid enough to go down that road again—been there, done that, got the emotional baggage to prove it—but most important, I'm with you. What's it going to take – what do I have to do to get you to quit with this possessive-caveman bullshit? I just…it's starting to get a bit exhausting. Y'know what – whatever. Are you going to answer me—should I even bother coming to see you tomorrow?"

"Yeah, I guess I'll have to take what I can get—just like always."

"You know what, Jake? I don't have time for this. I have shit to do before the movers get here. I'll call you when I land, okay?"

"Yeah, whatever. I'll see ya tomorrow. Have a safe fight, love you."

Yeah, I'm feelin' the love, I thought wryly but, like a trained puppy, obediently replied, "Love you, too."

.

~∞Ѿ∞~

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The apartment that I'd called home for a year and a half was practically empty, Angela's stuff having been already moved to Ben's. All of my shit, packed in assorted boxes and crates, and the few pieces of furniture I'd brought, along with the cast-off pieces Ange was gifting to me, were stacked tidily against the front wall of the living room. The echo of my footsteps stalked me as I did a final walk-through of the bare and coldly impersonal rooms. All the things that had occurred within these walls—the tears cried, the laughter shared, the battle lines drawn and held, the victories celebrated—all of the ups and downs and turned arounds I'd undergone, and not a trace could be found; it was as if I'd never existed here. I'd always hated apartments.

Angela and Ben arrived just before the movers, bearing pastries and orange juice . They stood in the kitchen watching me as I flitted about the apartment, nibbling a croissant while shoving my toothbrush and pajamas into my suitcase, avoiding making eye contact with Angie at all times. I was determined to get through our goodbye without tears, but her lachrymose expression would be my undoing, so I just…couldn't. Not yet.

Before I knew it, the movers were gone, and it was my turn to make like a fetus. Heh-heh. And the hiding behind the bad jokes begins. Staring at the two remaining items in the apartment—my suitcase and my carry-on—already sitting by the door, awaiting my departure, I called for a cab. "Well, I guess that's that. They'll be here in fifteen, so…yeah," I stated, witless wonder that I was, after hanging up, my eyes still locked on my luggage.

"Yeah. Um, do you wanna…? Well, we should probably, y'know…wait out front, right?"

"Right. I'll just…" I gestured toward my bags. Neither of us moved.

"Why don't you girls head down, and I'll see to Bella's bags," Ben piped up helpfully.

"Okay," Ange and I chimed in unison, Angela adding, "We're gonna take the stairs, then…give you more room in the elevator."

As she towed me toward the door, I caught Ben's eye and mouthed my thanks to him. He nodded with a sad smile, making to grab my bags, and then I was out the door. We managed to make it down half a flight of stairs before I heard the first sniffle from Angela.

"Quit it," I ordered.

"I'm not," she replied, clearly lying.

"You are."

"Whatever. Shut up."

I did and, in silence, we made it to the first landing and half way down the next flight of stairs before I sniffled.

"Stop it, Bella."

"I'm not." … "You started it."

"Whatever."

Another landing and a whole flight of stairs later, we both sniffled. Turning and embracing, we bawled like babies—like we said we wouldn't—murmuring about how much we would miss the other. I thanked her for everything, for her shoulder when I cried and a firm hand when I needed a guide, only to have her brush my thanks aside as I knew she would. When our eyes were once again dry—well, as dry as they were going to get—we hurried down the rest of the stairs, and out the front door to find Ben loading my bags into the trunk of the awaiting cab.

With a quick hug to Ben, and a final one to Angela, I was off, en route to J.F.K.

.

~∞Ѿ∞~

.

Still half asleep as I deplaned, I stumbled down the narrow aisle, smiling tiredly at the flight attendant's clichéd 'buh-bye', when I passed by.

Making my way to baggage claim, I staked out a spot next to the empty conveyor belt to wait for my one suitcase. I couldn't have been standing there for more than a minute when a tiny body barreled into me, nearly knocking me on my ass. Without looking, I knew immediately who it was.

"Alice!" I laughed as my overzealous friend did her level best to crack my ribs with the force of her hug, and then groaned, "Can't…breathe…Ali…"

I was thankful when she released me, but it didn't last long. Immediately spun around, I was pulled into an all-encompassing hug that lifted me clean off my feet.

"Bella-boo!" Had Emmett's voice rumbling into my ear not been enough to identify my assailant, being squeezed tightly enough to compress my sternum to my spine would have done the trick.

"Emmett, put her down before you break her," Rosalie ordered with a firm slap to the back of his head, and a roll of her eyes. She waited for my release, before pushing past him to wrap me up in her own crushing embrace, which I barely had a chance to absorb before Jasper was pulling me away.

"Brutes," he declaimed, tossing an arm over my shoulder, all James Dean, casual-cool, and leading me away. "Come, Bellisima. Let's get you out of here. How was your flight?"

I assumed it was a rhetorical question since he didn't wait for my answer. Instead, calling over his shoulder, "Emmett! Get the girl's bags."

"Hey, what am I—a pack-mule or something?" Em loudly complained.

"If the harness fits, babe…" came Rose's retort.

Jasper reached across me just then, unceremoniously pulling my carry-on from my hand and tossing it blindly over his shoulder. From the grunt behind us, I assumed Emmett caught it as Jasper shouted—seconds too late, "Think fast!"

"You're supposed to say it before you throw it, dickhead!" Emmett growled.

"Oops! My bad." Liar. Catching me mid-peek, smirk still on his face, Jasper winked, causing me to chuckle and turn away with a shake of my head. Some things never change. It was nice to be home.

.

~∞Ѿ∞~

.

We grabbed a bite to eat at some hole-in-the-wall Thai place, whose rundown façade belied the deliciousness of the food inside, and throughout the meal, they regaled me with the most ridiculous stories of things I'd missed. I couldn't remember the last time I'd laughed so bloody much, but judging from the glares of the other patrons, no one else found them humorous. Our waitress confirmed this when she delivered our fortune cookies and check, with a barked, "You done, you go now!"

A bit drunk, Rose was instantly furious, but we managed to get the bill paid and out the door before blood was shed. She passed out in the back of Alice's shiny silver Lexus almost instantly.

Upon arriving at Casa de AliJazz, Jasper stowed my bags in the guest room while Alice showed me around the apartment. My grand tour concluded with the guest room, and came with complimentary turndown service.

"So, here's your room. The bathroom is through there," she stated, pointing to the door in the center of the wall opposite the bed. "There are fresh towels behind the door in the basket on the bottom shelf; cotton balls, q-tips, band-aids, etcetera can be found in the medicine cabinet or in one of the drawers—feel free to explore. Treat the room as yours. Mi casa es su casa, and all that."

"Gotcha. Thanks for letting me stay. You're sure it's not going to be a bother, right? I don't want to cramp your style or anything, and I promise to be out of here as soon as I possibly can."

Alice plopped down on the bed. "You're fine. To tell you the truth, I'd be pissed if you stayed anywhere else. And it's the only way you wouldn't cramp my style, since I can pick out your clothes."

"Wit-ty, Alice, wit-ty," I teased, tossing a pillow at her head. I missed.

"Just another of my many gifts," she boasted. Sobering, she finished, "Well, I'm sure you're tired, so I'll let you settle in. If you need anything, you know where to find me."

She got up, nearly making it to the door before I stopped her.

"Oh, hey! I forgot to ask, what's the plan for tomorrow? What time do you want to leave, so I know what time I need to get up? And does Esme need any help with dinner or anything? I kind of told Jake I would go see him after Charlie leaves for the station, but I'll be back well before dinner." I scrunched up my face when I mentioned Jake, letting her know something was up, but giving her an out should she want it. I needed to vent, but didn't know how to ask, where to start, or if she'd even be interested in hearing it. Luckily, she took the bait.

She made her way back to the bed, sitting down before asking, "Not too happy about you not rushing to his side I take it?"

"That's putting it mildly. He was already upset that I wasn't flying into P.A. or Forks, and then I wouldn't let him pick me up at SeaTac, so…yeah, not so happy that I'm not rushing straight to La Push tomorrow." He hadn't been happy about more than that, but I wasn't about to reveal that. Alice being Alice, I'm sure she knew.

"Am I really so wrong," I continued, "for taking a few hours to see the people that I haven't seen since before I left? I just saw him a few of weeks ago and, before that, we did spend the better part of a year together."

"I can see where he's coming from, but…I don't think you're in the wrong. Don't sweat it; he'll get over it. He's under a lot of stress right now between his dad, school, and everything else, and he needs something to keep his head above the water. It'll be fine."

"Yeah, I'm sure you're right," I agreed, my voice downhearted, but with a smile on my face.

The conversation over, Alice's normal ADHD-kid-off-her-meds twitching shifted into nervous fidgeting. The foot-tapping and leg-shaking she'd been doing off and on all evening, had been ignorable—even when she started rapid-cycling between the two…mostly—but when she began tapping her nails on her teeth…I couldn't take that shit any longer.

"Alice! Fuck! You look like you're about to burst out of your skin at any second—and not in a good way. What's got you all wound up? Run out of Ritalin again?"

"No…and I don't take Ritalin!" Well, she should. "About dinner… I just… Well, you should…" Alice stammered nervously.

"Jesus Christ, Al! Is Hitler joining us for dinner?" Alice's jaw dropped like it had come unhinged. "Chill the fuck out, it's not that big of a deal. I hadn't been certain that he'd be there, but I also hadn't ruled out the possibility; he is your brother and a member of your family, after all."

Alice's mouth started working, sounds coming out, but none of them words, so I waited, giving her a chance to spit out something coherent. When, after a moment, she was still sputtering, I snapped, "T-t-today, Junior!"

"Edward's-bringing-someone-to-dinner-with-him!" she finally spilled in a volley of machinegun fire. At least, that's what it felt like. "A girl," she added, further clarifying, "His girlfriend."

Well…fuck. Seems like Eva Braun will be joining us, as well.

I was surprised at how much it actually hurt. It wasn't as if Rose hadn't said as much on Thanksgiving, but I'd never fully believed it and, over time, had even managed to convince myself that if Alice were defending the nature of his relationship with the girl—as Rose had alleged—it couldn't be true. She would never condone or defend something like that, right? Wrong. Alice's confirmation was like being doused in the shower with ice water. I felt foolish, startled, and cold.

"I just thought you should know. I didn't want you to be blindsided. I'm sorry."

How long have they been together? Since Thanksgiving, at least, stupid. How did they meet? What's her name? Is she prettier than I am? Does he love her? What does she have that I haven't got that made him able to commit to her and not to me?—were only a few of the questions that I wanted to ask. Instead, I managed a very disinterested sounding, "Hmm? Oh, well…good for him. That's nice. Happy to hear it."

I could tell Alice expected more of a reaction from me, and wasn't finished discussing it but, finally catching a lucky break, my ringing phone stopped her before she could say more.

"Jake," I mouthed, holding up a finger and answering. "Hey! Can you hold for just a sec? 'Kay, be right back."

I muted the call, assuring her, "We can talk more in the morning, Alice." Oh no, we just cannot. "I'm going to be a while, and will probably go straight to bed when I'm done; I'm pretty beat."

She was skeptical, but stood to go, giving me a hug before she stepped into the hall and shut my door behind her. Un-muting my phone, I greeted Jake again. "Hiya there, mister. How're you?"

.

~∞Ѿ∞~

.

Asleep as soon as I got off the phone, I was tormented—and not always unpleasantly—by dreams of another man throughout the night. When I woke in the morning, there was a dull, aching throb between my thighs, and Gordian's knot had taken up residence in the pit of my stomach. I had a feeling the day was going to be hell.

Between my claims of being eager to get on the road, and my use of Jasper as a conversation-beard, I managed to avoid finishing my conversation with Alice, much to her disappointment. I would have felt guilty over misusing Jasper had he not paused as he followed Alice out the door, whispering in my ear, "Although I don't know what it is you're trying to avoid, sugar, I'm happy to oblige. You don't look as though you need any more on your plate, at the moment—but you know you're just putting off the inevitable, right?"

I nodded.

"So long as you know. Come along, then. I should be able to keep her busy for a bit longer." He stopped and, after a beat, slyly commented, "You look beat."

I didn't even have to fake it, falling asleep as soon as we hit I-5, and not waking up until we hit the first joltingly familiar bump of the Cullens' driveway.

Considering how deeply I slept, I awoke surprisingly alert. My head jack-in-the-boxed up from the bench-seat I'd fallen asleep on, and I leaned over, peering eagerly between the high-backed front seats as we pulled up to the house. A colony of bats swarmed in my stomach, the frenzied flapping of their leathery wings stirring up dichotomous emotions; I was both anxiously excited and earnestly apprehensive. Holding my breath and leaning to the side, I peered through the windshield as the house came into view, and was equal parts relieved and disappointed to see neither him nor his car in the drive.

I didn't have time, however, to dwell upon his absence, my feelings about it or to worry that someone would see all of it plain as day on my face because the second the car came to a halt, Esme was yanking my door open. She pulled me out of the vehicle and into her arms, scolding me softly the entire time.

"If you ever take off like that again, Isabella Marie Swan, I will… I don't know what I'll do, but you won't like it, young lady. Making us worry about you like that! Gah!"

Tears welled in my eyes. I couldn't understand how she could feel what she did for me when my own mother couldn't, and never would. That kind of compassion coming from the mother of adopted children shouldn't have surprised me, but it did because she had fought tooth and nail for her children (not to mention she had raised them from babies, in Alice and Edward's case, newborns). But me…I was just a stray her daughter brought home one day. That so natural a mother as Esme should be unable to have children, while Renee, lacking even the faintest bit of maternal instinct, could (and did…when she shouldn't have) was proof—in my mind, at least—that God didn't exist. Because, if he did, he was a heartless prick.

"I'm sorry," I whispered to her, my throat hoarse and raw from my unshed tears and unspoken thoughts.

"Okay, Es, that's enough," Carlisle said, patting his wife's back gently. "Let the poor girl go and give someone else a turn, eh?"

"Fine," she conceded, pulling away from me slightly, hands on my shoulders while warning, "This conversation isn't finished yet, missy." She squeezed me one more time before releasing me, Carlisle instantly taking her place.

"Welcome home, kid. We've missed you around here." He gave me a kiss on the cheek, causing me to blush just a bit, and everyone else to laugh.

"Oh, shut up!" I huffed, crossing my arms over my chest and scowling my fiercest scowl, but affecting no one. What? He was pretty fucking hot for his age; they all knew it, too.

"Well, I'd love to stay, but I've got to run to the hospital for a bit. I'll be back in plenty of time for dinner, though, and we'll catch up then. We fully expect to hear everything you've been up to since you've been gone," Carlisle warned. Kissing his wife and daughter on the temple and cheek, in that order, and patting Jasper on the back, he headed off to the garage to get his car and leave.

"Okay, why don't you kids go throw your bags upstairs in your rooms? I'll have the car key for you when you come back down; I'm sure you're eager to get to Charlie's. I know he can't wait to see you, so off with you now," she shooed us off.

Alice and Jasper grabbed their bags out of the back of Alice's LX, and started for the house, but I just stood there fidgeting. "What are you doing just standing there, hun? Aren't you going to put your stuff in your room?"

"Um, well…what room am I staying in?"

She rolled her eyes at me, saying, before heading inside, "In your room, silly."

It was such a relief to hear her say it…in your room. Just three little words, and all my fears of coming home to finding I'd been left behind abated. I allowed myself one moment to bask in the warmth she'd brought me, and then grabbed my bag, rushing inside and upstairs to my room which was, I was delighted to find, exactly as I remembered, right down to the random items in the nightstand drawers. I smiled, ridiculously happy that after everything, I still had a place in the Cullen family. Sometimes you could go home again. Suck on that, Thomas Wolfe!

.

~∞Ѿ∞~

.

Charlie didn't bother disguising how much he'd missed me, which was so, so…not Charlie. Maybe he was getting sentimental in his old age, because hugging—especially over the top hugging in view of the…well, anyone—was something he didn't do. At least, not once I got boobs, we didn't.

We caught up over a hastily thrown together lunch that I whipped up from his surprisingly well-stocked pantry…raises eyebrows like, WTF, mates?...before settling into the living room with the television turned on low—some fishing show on. I honestly didn't know how anyone could watch that shit. It definitely wasn't at the top of the list of shows I found entertaining, but to each their own, I supposed.

When we finally exhausted all other topics of conversation, Charlie began to effusively gush about Jake, expounding upon his qualities and suitability as my beau, blah, blah, blah, blah! I excused myself to the bathroom when I couldn't take it anymore. It was either that or tell him that if he liked Jake so damn much he could date him himself, and I didn't think that would go over so well. I needed to come up with something that would distract him from continuing to wax poetic about all the virtues of the god-like Jake…oh my, gawd! He's just so dreamy…but we'd already discussed fishing and sports, so I was shit out of engaging topics.

Who would have thought that my father's staid, never-contained-anything-stronger-than-aspirin bathroom would provide me with all the fodder I needed to keep my father far away from the subject of relationships for at least the rest of our visit, if not longer. And I was really hoping for longer.

"Hey, Dad?" I called on my way back to the front room. "You don't have any other news to tell me, do you? You don't have anything new to report since I saw you last?"

His mustache twitched, but his face was carefully blank as he said, "No, not that I can think of, why?" Why couldn't I have inherited that trait—the ability to not wear my heart on my sleeve on my face—from him? Fuck genetics.

"I don't know, I just…well, I just saw what looked an awful lot like a bra in the bathroom. It's cool, though. I understand. I wouldn't want to admit to my daughter that I was a cross-dresser, either, but I want you to know that I don't think any less of you for it. In fact, now I know what to get you for your birthday and Christmas this year. I can only buy so many fishing poles, tackle boxes, and lures before they start looking a little impersonal, y'know? This opens up so many avenues for me."

Charlie blushed so intense a shade of red, I wouldn't have believed it was real had I not worn the same shade a time or two myself—although, I had to say, it looked better on him—but I somehow managed to keep a straight face. However, I lost it entirely, breaking into loud, hysterical laughter when he sputtered, "Isabella Marie Swan! What in the…? Have you lost your fool mind? I can only assume you came up with these ideas in New York! I'm not a que…I am not a…cross-dresser!" He said it in a harsh hiss, as if just speaking it, had the power to invoke it. Pausing, to either recover or gather his strength, he sucked in a deep breath and then pushed out in a rush of air and words. "I'msortaseeingsomeone…a woman. You don't know her. It's new."

Still laughing, I asked, "I'm sorry, come again? I didn't quite catch that."

"I'm-sorta-seeing-someone."

"Wait, what?" I asked again, pointing at my ear and shaking my head. "You're gonna have to speak up, old man. Now, what was that?"

"Dammit, Isabella! You know damn good and well what I said. I am sort of seeing someone. A woman. I said it, happy now?"

"Sort of?" I snorted. "Considering her bra's on your bathroom floor, I'm thinking you're doing more than just sort of seeing her, old man. I trust you kids are being safe? Children are an awfully big responsibility."

Shooting me his patented 'Scary Police Chief, Fear Me' scowl, his flush deepened, surpassing my record for darkest shade of red ever, rendering the expression ineffectual. "I'm still your father, young lady, you could show a little respect…and Sue doesn't think I'm that old," he grumbled, my guffaws so loud that I nearly missed the last bit and, as priceless as it was, I almost wished I had.

My ribs were protesting all the violent laugh-turbulence, but I couldn't stop. Every time I started to sober up, I would hear him again—Sue doesn't think I'm that old—and yield to the absurdity once again. It wasn't even that funny; I blamed exhaustion and my elation over being home for my giddiness.

The hilarity eventually passing, Charlie and I sat side by side in companionable silence…mostly. It was broken every now and again by an occasional long-suffering grunt from him, and an odd giggle here and there from me. Several minutes elapsed this way, then straight out of nowhere, Charlie informs me quietly, and with the utmost seriousness, "You know, Bells…abortion is legal…in your case, it'd just be extremely late-term."

My jaw hit the floor. A sense of humor? I didn't know he had it in him. Initially rendered mute from shock, when I finally found my voice, the ringing phone prevented any response and Charlie walked off to answer it, stroking his mustache as he attempted to hide his satisfied smirk. I might not know his ladylove, but I already liked her. I wanted to ask more about her, but all good things must end.

It was dispatch on the phone, needing Charlie to come in early—some domestic dispute that the deputy on duty needed back up on—and our little reunion was forced to a premature conclusion. With a hug and a promise not to be such a stranger, I slipped out the front door. I was two hours ahead of schedule and wanted to surprise Jake, but remembered I didn't know where he lived, so I called him from the car to get directions.

.

~∞Ѿ∞~

.

It was obvious when he answered the door that Billy Black was still not entirely used to his wheelchair, not that I could blame him. He'd barely been in it for a month, not even a drop in the bucket after a lifetime of walking. I smiled at him and shook his hand as I introduced myself, peering over his shoulder in search of Jake because I really didn't know what to say to this man that was as familiar as he was strange and Jake's presence would take the pressure off of me.

"Hiya…Billy?" I inquired with narrowed eyes as if trying to cipher his identity. Who the fuck else could he be, dumbass? I felt as if I should remember him, but I didn't. "I'm Bella," I stated stupidly with an awkward little wave.

"I know who you are! You look just like your mother." Seeing me stiffen, he quickly added, "But there's just as much Charlie there, too. Now come here and give me a hug; family doesn't shake hands."

Okay, Tommy Callahan. Can I get you a 'wingy', too? I thought snarkily, but obediently bent down and hugged him rigidly.

"Hey, you making moves on my lady, old man?" I heard Jake ask from just past his father. Billy released me, and I straightened up, a genuine smile lighting my face when I saw him.

"Hey there, stranger! Long time no see."

"Hey there, yourself. Miss me?"

"Not really," I answered cheekily.

"Way to kill my ego, Bells." Oh, we're joking about it now?

"Well, quit fishing for compliments, you know I did." It flowed easily off my tongue, and I was surprised to find I actually meant it. "So, you boys gonna invite me in or make me stand on the porch all day?"

"Oh, sorry! By all means, come in, come in," Billy invited, maneuvering himself out of the doorway.

Jake stepped forward, pulling me close and bending to kiss me as I stepped through the door only, at the last minute, I turned my head so he kissed my cheek instead. Slipping out of his grasp, I hissed under my breath, "Jake! Not in front of your father!"

"Bella…" he started, but took one look at my face, and opted not to push his luck. "Fine."

He led me to the living room, where we sat and chatted with Billy. He was actually a pretty funny guy, and to retain his sense of humor after what he'd gone through was…impressive. I didn't think I could do the same; I couldn't keep it after getting fucked over by a guy, so... Eventually, Billy claimed to be in need of a nap, but I saw through the ruse. It was obvious he was purposely making himself scarce; he had the subtlety of a sledgehammer.

"I'm bushed. I'm gonna go lay down for a bit, let you kids catch up." He winked, and then wheeled himself carefully out of the living room and down the hall.

I blushed, mumbling, "Night. It was nice to meet you…again."

"I'm sure I'll be seeing you later, Bella. You tell me if that boy of mine isn't treating you right."

"Yes, sir."

We were quiet as he rolled the hall, the uneasiness between us ratcheting up with each rotation of the chairs tires. It was as if, after only a few weeks apart, we didn't know how to behave around one another without a buffer, and our silence dragged on long after Billy's door closed behind him. My tolerance running out, I teasingly observed, "Well, I see where you get your subtlety from."

Jake made this yelp-like noise that was half-snort/half-laugh and—his eyes all big and face mortified—he clamped a hand over his mouth as if in denial that the less than manly sound had come out of it. I chuckled, but withheld from commenting because one, I wasn't exactly a social savant myself; and two, I lived in a glass house. Glazing was expensive.

Hiding his embarrassment behind misdirection, he announced, "Well, I guess I should give you the grand tour. It's not much, but…it's home. Come on."

He pulled me to my feet, showing me around the first floor, "Living room…kitchen…dining room…Billy's room and the bathroom are down the hall," pointing a finger before leading me upstairs, the entire time holding my hand. "Rachel's and Rebecca's rooms are over there…the bathroom is over there and…" opening the door, "my room."

Gesturing for me to enter, he followed, closing the door behind us and finally releasing my hand. I turned in a circle, taking in the small space. "So…this is your room." The walls were practically papered with posters of scantily clad girls. "Nice, um…art," I teased.

"What?" Jake shrugged his shoulders. "I'm a guy."

I laughed and went to the window to peer down at the yard below. My hips were gripped by his big hands seconds before his body pressed against mine, startling a gasp from my lips. I tensed. "How 'bout that kiss now?" he whispered, his breath warm against my skin.

My head tilted obligingly, letting him nuzzle the crook of my neck, and then turned in his arms so he could claim the kiss I'd denied him earlier. Still, I couldn't relax, and when he made to deepen it, starting to walk us toward the bed, I broke away, snipping, "Jake, no! Not with your father downstairs."

"He doesn't care," Jake countered, pressing open-mouthed kisses to any patch of skin he could access, but I refused to yield. "Come on, Bella! I haven't seen you in like a month and a half—I've missed you; lemme show you how much, baby."

I pulled out of his arms with a jerk and angrily stalked towards the door. "Jesus, Jake! I said no. I'm seriously starting to question what you missed more: me or the sex."

Jake rounded on me angrily, cutting off my escape and, if I'm honest, frightening me some. "What the fuck, Bells? Seriously? Of course I missed you! I can't believe you would even ask that. What the fuck is your problem?"

I flinched at his vehemence, but shakily held my ground. "Nothing! You just don't seem to get that I don't want to have sex in your father's house…while he's home. He knew me when I was little, and he's friends with my father! I'm not exactly comfortable with him knowing about our sex life, you insensitive prick!" I hissed, as we circled each other.

"It's not like our fathers don't know that we're having sex, Bella."

"That's not the fucking point, Jake!" I looked at the digital alarm clock next to his bed, grateful that I had an excuse to bail on our rapidly escalating fight, but still wondering where the time went. "I have to go; I told Esme I'd help her with dinner."

"Oh, that's great! Just run off to the Cullens' then, Bella, that'll solve everything. Is Edward there?" he snarled.

"I don't fucking know! What the hell does he have to do with anything?"

"Everything! Isn't he why you won't let me make love to you?"

"No, you jackass, and quit dragging him into things. He has nothing to do with us. I'm not sure why you're acting so jealous and threatened…" Liar. You know exactly why. "…but it's not attractive. Get. Over it. What the fuck do I have to do…? Would coming with me make you happy?"

I don't know why I asked—I didn't want him there, not really—but the words were out, hanging in the air between us, and couldn't be taken back.

"Yeah, it would," Jake confessed.

"Fine. Dinner's at seven; don't be late. I'll see you there," I snapped back, brushing past him en route to the door, but just as I reached for the knob, Jakes hand landed heavy on my shoulder, spinning me around and pushing me back against it.

He pinned me bodily in place and covered my lips with his, claiming me with a rough kiss that roused my anger and my lust, companionable as the emotions were. My arms twined themselves around his neck, and my mouth returned his kiss, giving just as rough as they got. Palming my ass, he squeezed a cheek before sliding halfway down my thigh. Fingers digging into my flesh, he yanked my leg up, hooking it over his hip so suddenly that I sucked in a sharp, shocked breath.

When he bent his knees, his hardness meeting my heat, I let out a soft moan and tossed my head back, only vaguely aware of the dull thud as it hit the door. I allowed myself to revel in the sensations coursing through my body, justifying it with the thought that maybe it was just what I needed to ease my anxiety about dinner. Intoxicated by unrestrained lust and mindless desire, I found myself, for the first time ever with Jake at the helm, able to let go…well, mostly.

My reunion with Edward looming ominously over me, I couldn't stop the comparisons with Jake, but I found it easier to ignore their differences, to forget about the fact that the wrong mans hands were touching me, and I tightened my arms around his neck, lifting my other leg to wrap around him and draw us closer together. Jake assisted my efforts, and my ankles were soon locked together behind his back. He pushed our pelvises together, rubbing against me just right.

"Oh! Oh – right there. Yesssss! Pleasepleaseplease, don't stop," I gasped—somehow retaining just enough thought to be mindful of my volume—as I swiveled my hips against him, creating just the right amount of friction.

"Oh fuck! It's been too long, baby. You're g-gonna make me come if you keep that up. Tell me you're close! Please come…fuck you feel so fucking good…I wanna make you feel good, too."

Attacking my neck, Jake alternatively grinding and pulsing, and my body started to quiver as I edged along the abyss.

"So…close! Pleeeee-ase!" Eyes clenched shut, legs tightening around him, and hips bucking erratically against him completely out of my control, I strained to get mine before he reached his.

Jake latched onto my neck with his teeth, sucking and biting, causing indecipherable gibberish to spill from lips and sending delicious shivers throughout my body; it was just the stimulus needed. My orgasm bearing down on me, everything just fell away, and I succumbed to the waves of energy. When it was over, I felt boneless, barely managing to keep my arms and legs in place as Jake thrust against me a few more times, and then shuddered through his climax.

Spent, he collapsed against me, pressing me hard into the unforgiving door as his knees trembled and then gave way. We slid down it, collapsing in a heap on the floor where we remained while we caught our breath.

"Fuck!" Jake sighed, moving his sweaty forehead to rest against mine. "I don't remember dry-humping being that good when I was in high school."

"Mmmm," I hummed noncommittally into his damp neck, too lethargic and satiated to say more. After a moment, I found the will to lift my face and quip, "Told you tons of fun could be had with your clothes on."

.

~∞Ѿ∞~

.

Chapter Songs (In Order of Appearance):
Just Dropped In (To See What Condition My Condition Was In), written by Mickey Newbury and, starting with Jerry Lee Lewis, performed by countless artists; I happen to like the Willie Nelson version (don't ask)
The Sidestep, performed by Charles Durning in The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
Time, Pink Floyd

Notes:
1. "It was nice to know that sometimes you could go home again. Suck on that, Thomas Wolfe!"—Thomas Wolfe wrote the novel, You Can't Go Home Again
2. "…WTF, mates?—End of Ze World, fuckfunny animated internet video. I could seriously watch it for hours and never stop laughing.
3. "Keep telling yourself that, Gertrude."—Reference to the line 'The lady doth protest too much, methinks.' -Said by Queen Gertrude in Act III, Scent II of Hamlet by William Shakespeare
4. "That's not happiness to see me, love."—line from the movie A Perfect Murder.

Rec's:
The Art Teacher by Spanglemaker9
Type O Negative by quothme
The Plan by QuantumFizzX
Through the Oak Door by struckatthesky
Quarterback Rush by musegirl